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...By Dr. Howdy

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1) Can you decipher this famous saying?

That prudent avis which matutinally deserts the coziness
of its abode will ensnare a vermiculate creature.

2) What has one leg,
but not two.
Never gets fat,
has 15 teeth,
but doesn't chew.
All green and no blue,
bugs don't like them but I do.
What are they?

(Answers way below)


No wonder English is difficult to learn:

We polish the Polish furniture.

He could lead if he would get the lead out.

A farm can produce produce.

The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse.

The soldier decided to desert in the desert.

The present is a good time to present the present.

At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.

The dove dove into the bushes.

I did not object to the object.

The insurance for the invalid was invalid.

The bandage was wound around the wound.


Q: How do UNC student's brain cells die ?
A: Alone.


How it all started...

The scene: Alexander Graham Bell's laboratory.

An exciting new discovery is about to take place.
Mr. Bell and his assistant, aman named Watson,
have been hard at work on Bell's new invention
to transmit sound over wires.

As Mr. Watson toiled away in the room with the
receiver, he suddenly hears ...

"Good evening, sir. Are you paying too
much for your long distance service?"


The UNC coed came running in tears to her father. "Dad,
you gave me some terrible financial advice!" she cried.

"I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad.

"You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that
big bank is in trouble."

"What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks
in the world," he said. "Surely there must be some mistake."

"I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of
my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."


A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker go into a restaurant in
London. The waiter says, "Excuse me, but if you wanted the
steak you might not get one as there is a shortage." The
Texan said, "What's a shortage?" The Russian said, "What's
a steak?" The New Yorker said, "What's excuse me?"


Q: How do you double the value of a Yugo?
A: Fill it with gas.


*You might think that the Earth is closest to the Sun when the weather
is warmest, but that's only true south of the equator. Earth's
closest approach to the Sun (perihelion) happens around January 2,
when it's winter in the north.

Earth's orbit is so close to circular that the difference in distance
between the closest and farthest points is very slight. The
atmosphere and oceans hold so much of the Sun's warmth, that the
effect of the distance changes is mostly invisible. What an amazing
Creator our Universe has.

The Sun at perihelion in 2000:

The 21,000 year Milankovitch cycle:

{Double click on the web address above for additional information:}


*Ever since people have made movies, they have wanted to include
special effects that fool viewers. In the days before computer
graphics, special effects were often quite creative, as in the
movie "The Wizard Of Oz" where a realistic tornado sweeps across the

The Kansas twister that swept up Dorothy and her house was actually a
long string of muslin stockings sewed together and stuffed. It was
photographed dangling down into a model scene with miniatures of the
farm and nearby fields.

The stocking was not the only creative tornado effect. In the most
close-up shots of the twister, it was a huge dust-filled burlap bag
that was being beaten to release dark, swirling clouds. There were
also some actual shots of a real tornado when it was seen far away
across the plains.

More about the art of special effects:

{Double click on the web address above for additional information:}

The "E-Mail Newspaper" containing 'Thought & Humor' is sent out free
via e-mail. This information was sent
to you because you or a friend may have requested, if not, accept our
apologies and you will be deleted from
our data base after you advise us. 'Thought & Humor' is one small
attempt to obey "The Great Commission".

Soli Deo Gloria... To
________________________ "E-Mail Newspaper (Free4u)"
References gleamed for great humor & information: Merry Heart,
Learning Kingdom, Thomas S. Elworth,
Funny List, MeMail, Daily Dose, Joke of the Day, andychap, Buffalos3,
MIKEY'S FUNNIES , The Daily Tease,,
humorcartoons@a... & MSKitty.

Dear Howdy, I love the newsletter! We're moving and want
to change our e-mail address from
to n___@y... We are church planting missionaries in Puerto
Honduras. I think that your ministry has an incredible outreach
potential, and appreciate what you are doing for the
Lord. Besides that, I enjoy your UNC jokes.

Bryan (Honduras)


Dear Howdy, I have recently changed online services and would like to
continue receiving T & H. I love your jokes and pass them on to
Thanks a million!


Dear Howdy, As one from Texas, "Howdy" is used quite often and not
just by
Aggies from Texas A & M. And since we are on the subject, the UNC
are the same down here in Texas, but we call them Aggie Jokes. So,
I be offended too? I think not. Keep up the good work.
See Ya'll Later.



This is a specially formulated diet designed to help women cope with
stress that builds up during the day.

1 grapefruit
1 slice whole-wheat toast
1 cup skim milk

small portion lean, steamed chicken with a cup of spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 Hershey kiss

the rest of the kisses in the bag
1 tub of Hagen Daas ice cream with choc-chip topping

4 bottles of pop
2 loaves garlic bread
1 family size supreme pizza
3 snickers bars

whole frozen Sarah Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)



Did you hear about the UNC band member who
locked his keys in the car?
He had to break a window to get the drummer out!


Translations of hotel terms!

Old world charm ................ No bath
Tropical ....................... Rainy
Majestic setting ............... A long way from town
Options galore ................. Nothing is included in the itinerary
Secluded hideaway .............. Impossible to find or get to
Pre-registered rooms ........... Already occupied
Explore on your own ............ Pay for it yourself
Knowledgeable trip hosts ....... They've flown in an airplane before
No extra fees .................. No extras
Nominal fee .................... Outrageous charge
Standard ....................... Sub-standard
Deluxe ......................... Standard
Superior ....................... One free shower cap
Cozy ............................. Small
All the amenities .............. Two free shower caps
Plush ............................ Top and bottom sheets
Gentle breezes ................. Occasional Gale-force winds
Light and airy ................. No air conditioning
Picturesque .................... Theme park nearby
Concierge ...................... Stand with tourist brochures
Continental breakfast .......... Free muffin


Josh was helping Sally, a UNC student, clean out the trunk of her
Inside, he noticed a bag labeled "Emergency Repair Kit". Looking at
a little closer, he noticed a stick of dynamite inside. Thinking
that was
a bit strange, he asked Sally what it was for.

She said, "It's part of my emergency repair kit."

Josh said, "I can see that, but why?"

Sally replied, "In case I have a flat and need to blow up one of my


"I had the toughest time of my life. First, I got angina pectoris
and then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering fromthese,
I got tuberculosis, double pneumonia and phthisis. Then they
gave me hypodermics. Appendicitis was followed by tonsillectomy.
These gaveway to aphasia and hypertrophic cirrhosis. I completely
lost my memory for a while. I know I had diabetes and acute
ingestion, besides gastritis, rheumatism, lumbago and neuritis.
I don't know how I pulled through it.... It was the hardest spelling
test I've ever had."


As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could
make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane. When they
checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were
carrying two dead raccoons.

"Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?" he asked.

"No, thanks," replied one of the vultures. "They're carrion."


A real man's guide to household tools:
You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.

If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40.
If it moves and it shouldn't, use Duct Tape.


PERMISSION: Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And,
you're REAL nice, you'll tell them you got it from:

Goodbye for now & best wishes!
Your friend,
P.S. We do precision guesswork.

Q: Why is 'Thought & Humor' so long?
A. All newspapers & magazines are long!

Q: What if I can't read all of it?
A: Delete it. Most folks don't read every word in every
newspaper/magazine either?

Q: Am I required to memorize each article?
A:Nope! Delete what you don't have time for or save for another time.

Q. Is 'T & H' Spam?
A. No, it is made entirely of chicken.

Q: Can I forward to friends?
A: Please do.

Q: How many 'T & H' E-Mail Newspapers are sent out each time?
A: Over 12,000 + forwards by you.

Q: Who is Howdy?
A: We let him think he's the boss...

Take the best medicine of all for what ails you -- laughter:

"Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects."

--Arnold Glasow

"Laughter is by definition healthy."

--Doris Lessing

"If somebody makes me laugh, I'm his slave for life."

--Bette Midler


Solution to today's Riddle:

1) The early bird gets the worm.

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* * * Great Archives Here - - - - "Music That Howdy Enjoys" Below * * * * * * * * * * * * For God loves YOU so very much that He gave His only Son so that if YOU believe in Him you will not perish but will live with Him forever!!!

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* * * Great Archives Here - - - - "Music That Howdy Enjoys" Below * * *

February 2006   March 2006   April 2006   May 2006   June 2006   July 2006   August 2006   September 2006   October 2006   November 2006   December 2006   December 2007  

How Can I Know God???

Tales of Narnia

Answering Islam

The Da Vinci Code

A Short Look At Six World Religions

Bible - God's Word in different languages...

My Heart Christ's Home

Big John's America

Not Garbage

Discovery Institute

See The Word

Bible Study Info

Don't Be Left Behind

For The University Students & Faculty

How to become a Christian

The Berean Call

Great For Kids

Stories For Kids

Promoting Your Own Blog

Looking For God

Bible Knowledge Challenge

The Young Earth Club

Who Is Jesus???

Christian Apologetics

Christian Web Info

Great Christians In History

History of American Christianity

Bible Instructions


Dr. Ben Haden

Bible Search Tools

Kids For Truth

Lincoln - A Christian

Mission To America

One Place For Learning

President Lincoln

Purgatory, Heaven Or Hell?

Intellectual Takeout

Evangelical Viewpoint

Dr. John Vernon McGee

Insight For Living

Turning Point

Outstanding Bible Teacher

Dr. Tony Evans

Listen To The Bible

Is Jesus God?


Great Bible Teaching

America - Why I Love Her

How To Become A Christian

*Watch The Jesus Movie*


Your very own library

Muhammad or Jesus???

Why The U.S.A. Is At War - 1

Why The U.S.A. Is At War - 2

Christian Women

Politics & Religion

Is Jesus God?

Statement Of What Howdy Believes!!!

Bible Crosswords

Los Angeles

Bible Search Tool

Great Bible Teacher

All About Cults

Religion Comparison

The Relationship of the Church to Israel

Just For Guys

Church History

***Watch The Jesus Movie***
{Many Languages}

Howdy's Blog #2

Howdy's Blog #3

Music That Howdy Enjoys

Military Music

Blueberry Hill

Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring


A Taste Of Honey - clip

(I Left My Heart) In San Francisco - clip

Take The 'A' Train - clip

Hello, Dolly! - clip

Peggy Sue - clip

Theme From Peter Gunn - clip

Song from Moulin Rouge


Ebb Tide

Tara's Theme from Gone with the Wind

Around the World in 80 Days

Breakfast at Tiffany's


The Way We Were

You Do Something to Me



A Foggy Day



Arrivederci Roma

Theme from Moulin Rouge II

Stardust - Big Band



Rhapsody in Blue

Sleepy Lagoon

My Foolish Heart

Lisbon Antigua

La Mer

April in Portugal

Because of You

Poor People of Paris

Unchained Melody

Stranger on the Shore


Maple Leaf Rag

Voices of Spring

Radetzky March

Water Music (Excerpt) George Frideric Handel

Finale - William Tell Overture

Overture - My Fair Lady

The Rain in Spain

The Lonely Bull - Herb Alpert

Tijuana Taxi - Herb Alpert

The Happy Whistler

So Rare

Mona Lisa

Ghost Riders in the Sky

Walk, Don't Run

Wonderland by Night

Canadian Sunset

Blue Tango

The Happy Wanderer

Down Yonder

Midnight in Moscow

Crazy Medley


That's for Me

Quiet Village

Harbor Lights

Dueling Banjoes II

Autumn Leaves

My Foolish Heart

Don't Know Much





Close To You

Rainy Days & Mondays

Sing A Song

Yesterday Once More

We've Only Just Begun

Goodbye To Love

Only You

As Time Goes By

As Time Goes By II

As Time Goes By - Original

After Loving

San Francisco

Stranger In Paradise

Mrs. Howdy

Rags To Riches

The Good Life

Hello Dolly

All Of Me

Thank Heaven For Little Girls

Beyond The Sea

Everybody Loves

Return To Me

That's Amore

Autumn Leaves

Love Me With All Your Heart

If I Give My Heart To You

Autumn Leaves II

Autumn Leaves III

See The USA

My Prayer

You Always Hurt

Take Me Out To The Ballgame

Love Me Tender

Its Now Or Never

Old Shep

Dont Be Cruel

When I Fall In Love

When I Fall In Love II

When I Fall In Love III

A Fool Such As I

You'll Never Know


I'm Yours

Wish You Were Here

Lady Of Spain


It's Magic

Secret Love

This Magic Moment

My Prayer

Twilight Time

Great Pretender

Harbor Lights

Little Darlin'


No Other Love

Magic Moments

Till The End Of Time

Dont Let The Stars

Overture - Barber of Seville

Back In The Saddle

You Always Hurt

When I Fall

When A Man

True Love



In The Mood

A Taste Of Honey

The Lonely Bull

Lollipops And Roses

This Guys In Love With You

What Now My Love

Three Coins In The Fountain

You've Gotta Have Heart


Stranger In Paradise II

Love Is...


Georgia On My Mind

Sentimental Over You

Thanks For The Memories

Too Young


Never On Sunday

Yellow Rose Of Texas


My Little Corner

Speak Low

Moments To Remember


Be My Love

Embassy Waltz


A Certain Smile

Chances Are

Not For Me To Say

Stranger On The Shore

I'll Be Seeing You

Cherry Pink


Moonlight Serenade

Last Date

Naughty Lady

Til I Kissed You

All I Have To Do Is Dream

Dixie Land Band

Ghost Riders In The Sky

The Happy Wanderer


Santa Catalina

Band Of Gold

Auld Lang Syne

The Wayward Wind

P.S. I Love You

Harbor Lights

Ebb Tide

Lime Light

Green Door

My Heart Cries

Down Yonder

Silvana Mangano Anna

Does Your Chewing Gum?

Grand Night For Singing

Purple People Eater

Orange Blossom Special

I'll Get By

'Til Then

Katie At UNC

Love Letters

As Time Goes By

Cheek To Cheek

Mission Impossible

The Way You Look Tonight


Glad To Be An American

Battle Hymn Of The Republic

How Great Thou Art

Have Thine Own Way

Beyond The Sunset

Amazing Grace

He's Got The Whole World

Peace In The Valley

How Great Thou Art II

Stars & Stripes Forever

Tennessee Waltz

Beverly Hillbillies Theme

El Paso

Happy Trails

Big John

Sixteen Tons

Which Doctor?

Wonderful! Wonderful!




Daniel Boone

Davy Crockett

Dick VanDyke

Donna Reed

Father Knows Best


Gomer Pile


Have Gun

Hawaii Five-O

Hogans Heroes







Law & Order

Lone Ranger

Magnificent 7


Man From Uncle




Mission I

Mr. Ed

My 3 Sons

Raw Hide

Real McCoys

Rifle Man

Secret Agent

Simon & Simon




Super Man














Victory I


The Lion Sleeps Tonight

Mr. Sandman

Only The Lonely

Beyond The Sea


Magnificent 7

Magnificent 7 - II


I Walk The Line

God loves you so much that He died for you!!!


Click Here

Verse of the Day

* * * Four Important Things To KNOW: #1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned & fall short of the glory of God. #2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ (God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of Peace & Savior of the World). #3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone, anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in, relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven). #4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE. No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist, Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives) to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through) ME (no other name). *** This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - - (Rev. 3:20) {Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian - however they are great afterwards!!!} *** Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment), and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness, forever with God), and only a few find it.

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But these are written so that you may
believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the
Son of God, and that by believing in
Him you will have life. Jn 20:31

Seek the Lord while He may be found;
call on Him while He is near. Let the
wicked forsake his way and the evil
man his thoughts. Let him turn to the
Lord, and He will have mercy on him,
and to our God, for He will freely
pardon. "For My thoughts are not
your thoughts, neither are your ways
My ways," declares the Lord. "As the
heavens are higher than the earth, so
are My ways higher than your ways
and My thoughts than your thoughts.
As the rain and the snow come down
from heaven, and do not return to it
without watering the earth and making
it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed
for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is My word that goes out from My
mouth: It will not return to Me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire and
achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
You will go out in joy and be led forth
in peace; the mountains and hills will
burst into song before you, and all the
trees of the field will clap their hands.
Instead of the thornbush will grow the
pine tree, and instead of briers the myrtle
will grow. This will be for the Lord's
renown, for an everlasting sign, which
will not be destroyed." Is 55

O Lord, you have searched me and you
know me. You know when I sit and when
I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying
down; you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue you know
it completely, O Lord. You hem me in -
behind and before; you have laid your
hand upon me. Such knowledge is too
wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where
can I flee from your presence? If I go up
to the heavens, you are there; if I make
my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide
me and the light become night around
me," even the darkness will not be dark
to you; the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you. For you
created my inmost being; you knit me
together in my mother's womb. I praise
you because I am fearfully and wonderfully
made; your works are wonderful, I know
that full well. My frame was not hidden
from you when I was made in the secret
place. When I was woven together in the
depths of the earth, your eyes saw my
unformed body. All the days ordained
for me were written in your book before
one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts,
O God! How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them, they would
outnumber the grains of sand. When
I awake, I am still with you. Search me,
O God, and know my heart; test me
and know my anxious thoughts. See
if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Ps 139

But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.

Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were a present far too small:
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.
- - Isaac Watts

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