A UNC grad stopped by a pizza shop one night and ordered a medium pizza.The Italian owner asked "How would you like that cut, in six or four pieces?"After some thought, the UNC student answered, "Better cut it in four, I don't think I can eat six pieces!"
Comment & Forward>>>
Comments:
Almost everyone has experienced a muscle cramp. The muscle becomes contracted and rigid, and is usually quite painful. The contracted muscle gets locked into a self-sustaining knot, which can last for hours or days.
Many muscle cramps are associated with exercise. These cramps are often due to a depletion or imbalance of salts in the muscle tissue, especially calcium, sodium, and potassium, which are lost in our sweat. A buildup of lactic acid, one of the byproducts of heavy exercise, also can contribute to the cramping. Such cramps can often be relieved by drinking "electrolyte" drinks that restore the salt balance.
If you get a cramp, it may be helpful to move the muscle into its least extended (shortest) position and massage it very gently. Eat something with sodium and potassium (like a banana) and wait for the cramp to ease.
Two UNC grads were working on a house. The one who was nailing down siding, would reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over his shoulder or nail it in.
The other grad, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?"
The first explained, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it's pointed toward me I throw it away because it's defective. If it's pointed toward the house I nail it in!"
The second got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! The nails pointed toward you aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!"
Chicago, Illinois is the candy capital of the world. Chicago has more chocolate manufacturers within a small radius than any other place in the world. This dates back to the 1800's when Chicago was a national hub for transportation and man- ufacturing, in addition to being very close to sources for key candy ingredients -- milk and corn syrup, it was also convenient to ship candy products to either coast from Chicago.
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HOW MANY STRINGS DOES THE AVERAGE PIANO CONTAIN?
The average medium size piano has about 230 strings, each string having about 165 pounds of tension, with the combined pull of all strings equaling approximately 18 tons.
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NOT JUST ANOTHER PRETTY FACE
In high school, Oscar-winning actress Hilary Swank was an excellent athlete. She competed in Junior Olympics in swimming, and placed fifth in the Washington state all- around gymnastics.
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Butterflies taste with their feet.
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In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of the world's nuclear weapons combined.
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On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.
???
WHAT DO PEOPLE FEAR MORE THAN DEATH?
On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
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WHAT PERCENTAGE OF NEW YORK CAB DRIVERS ARE IMMIGRANTS?
Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.
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WHAT PERCENTAGE OF PEOPLE WHO USE PERSONAL ADS FOR DATING ARE MARRIED?
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
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The debate over God's existence is not new. Attempts to understand ultimate reality date back to ancient Greece. Twenty-five centuries later, the debate continues.
Thomas Nagel, an atheist philosopher, and Jay Budziszewski, a Christian philosopher, recently added a new chapter in the debate. Nagel, in his book The Last Word, offered a revealing insight into his personal motivations for his atheistic beliefs.
"I want atheism to be true and am made uneasy by the fact that some of the most intelligent and well-informed people I know are religious believers. It isn't just that I don't believe in God and, naturally hope that I'm right in my belief. It's that I hope that there is no God! I don't want there to be a God; I don't want the universe to be like that." (Footnote 1: Thomas Nagel, The Last Word as quoted by J. Budziszewski in First Things, June/July 2002, No. 124, pg. 28.)
Budziszewski responded to Nagel's comments in the journal First Things. There he said that if Nagel's motivations are true of most atheists then, "those who say that theism is a crutch have got it backwards…it is atheism that serves as a crutch." (Footnote 2: J. Budziszewski, First Things, June/July 2002, No. 124, pg. 28.)
But how could atheism be a crutch? Atheists often charge that theism is a crutch because people are motivated to believe in God because that belief gives meaning, hope, and order to their world. So how is it that not believing in God could possibly be a crutch? Could possibly provide help in this, at times, bewildering world? The answer is, that if taken seriously, the idea of an all-knowing and all-seeing God taking account of our lives is terrifying. I believe that many atheists keenly sense this. They understand that if God exists, facile belief in Him is not enough. If God exists, they know that they must submit themselves to God, and not just partially, but entirely.
We do well to learn from the atheist's fear of the existence of God. It is easy for believers in God to become very comfortable with the idea of God's existence and then lose the great potency of this reality. The atheist's fears remind us of this potency. Remind us that God is not a powerless idea—a mute name only to be uttered before meals. God is the most powerful reality that we must earnestly be confronted by.
Our days are not our own. Our thoughts are not just for our ears. Our will is not king. These tremendous truths confront us when we are confronted by the reality of God. May we do so earnestly so that our faith will not be a crutch. Keith Cox
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If you stop believing what your professor told you had to be true and if you start thinking for yourself you may come to some conclusions you hadn't expected. You may find the Bible makes more sense than you thought or were told to think. Allow yourself to be ruined, ruined with regard to what you always thought could be true. Can you believe what you don't understand?You and I believe everyday what we don't understand unless it comes to the issue to salvation. Dr. Woodrow Kroll
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Our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ. --Philippians 3
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Two lawyers met at the local bar...
"How's business?" asked the first.
"Rotten," replied the other. "Yesterday, I chased an ambulance for 15 miles. When I finally caught up to it, there was already another lawyer hanging on to the bumper."
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*A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
*Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
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Demodex folliculorum, or the demodicid, is a tiny mite, less than 0.4 mm long, that lives in your pores and hair follicles, usually on the nose, forehead, cheek, and chin, and often in the roots of your eyelashes.
A UNC grad got engaged to two very pretty women at the same time. One was named Edith; the other named Kate. They met, discovered they had the same fiancée, and told him:
"Get out of our lives you rascal. We'll teach you that you can't have your Kate and Edith, too."
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A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two English gents are waiting.
"Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asks. The two English gents just stare at him.
"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" he tries. The two continue to stare.
"Parlare Italiano?" No response.
"Hablan ustedes Espanol?" Still nothing.
The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first Englishman turns to the second and says, "Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language."
"Why?" says the other. "That guy knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good."
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"Information? I need the number of Caseway Insurance Company."
"Would you spell that, please?"
"Certainly. That's C as in cadence. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you."
"Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor."
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"How to Be Sure You're a REAL Christian" http://www.actsweb.org/htbs1.htm or 1-888-NEED-HIM (24/7 - free call)
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A Proper English Gentleman...
A gentleman is returning home after a lengthy trip, and is met by his servant at the station. This is the conversation that they have on their way to his home...
"So, has anything happened while I've been away?"
"No, sir, I can't think of anything at all worth mentioning."
"Come now, I've been away for weeks. Surely something must have happened in all that time."
"Well, sir, come to think of it, your dog died."
"My dear Clyde died? How awful! Still, he was getting on in years, and I suppose it had to happen some time. How did he die?"
"The vet said it was probably from eating the rotten meat."
"The rotten meat? Since when do we leave rotten meat lying around for the dog to eat?"
"Well, it was the horses, sir. They'd been rotting for some time after the barn burned down."
"Good Lord! How in the world did the barn burn down?"
"It must have been some embers that blew over from the house, sir."
"The *house*? The house burnt down, too? How did the house burn down?"
"Well, sir, we think someone must have knocked over a candle."
"Oh. Candle? Wait a moment - we don't use candles anymore to light the house! What were the candles doing there?"
"They were there for the wake, sir."
"The wake?!? Whose wake? For pity's sake..."
"Actually, your mother's, sir. She passed away quite suddenly."
"Oh my - Mother is dead. The house is gone, along with the stable. Even my dog is dead. What did Mother die of?"
"It must have been the shock, sir."
"The shock."
"Yes, sir, the shock. When your daughter was accepted to UNC the day after you left, sir. But aside from all that, it's been fairly quiet while you've been away, sir."
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One of the reasons for the success of the internet is its open, peer-to-peer nature. All computers on the internet are equal, and in the past it hasn't mattered whether your computer is a 386 in Nguru on the end of a satellite phone or a big monster in a New York rack. If that ever changes, I think we will lose part of the essential, vital character of the internet. Doug Winter
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1826: Morey Patented Internal Combustion Engine
Inventor Samuel Morey patented the internal combustion engine. This engine burns fuel such as gasoline or diesel internally to produce power, unlike steam engines, which burn oil or coal outside the engine. Morey's patent was a less complex version of the combustion engines found in today's cars and trucks.
Most sources claim that the first motorcycle was built by Gottlieb Daimler, an assistant to Nicholaus Otto (who invented the Otto cycle, a kind of engine). In 1885, Daimler added a gasoline motor to a wooden bicycle, replacing the pedals. Daimler's motorbike was propelled by an engine, but it was not the first motor-driven cycle.
Actually, the first motorbike was built seventeen years earlier in 1868. It was not powered by a gasoline engine, but by a steam engine. Its builder was Sylvester Roper. His steam-powered bike did not catch on, but it anticipated many modern motorbike features, including the twisting-handgrip throttle control.
Street lights usually come on around dark, and flick off when the sun rises. Are they turned on by someone in an office somewhere? Do they have timers that make them go on and off?
Most street lights have photoelectric sensors that turn them on when the light fades. Look at the top of a street light. The sensor may be visible as a cylindrical protrusion, often surrounded by spiky wires designed to keep birds from landing there.
Sometimes a street light will either stay on all day or never come on at all. Each of these behaviors is usually caused by a defective sensor. You may also notice a few street lights that turn on, then buzz and go out, only to slowly brighten up again a few minutes later. These lights are suffering from aging bulbs that are about to fail.
Motherhood ~ If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!
The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side.
The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere and to let the air out of the tires.
The right temperature in a home is maintained by warm hearts, not by hot heads.
The joy of motherhood: the time when all the children are finally in bed.
Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm.
Oh to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was when he was small, and half as stupid as my teenager now thinks I am.
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The Failure of "Isms" : Why Speech Codes Exist
A syllabus for a course at the University of Maine contains the following warning: "Any language that may be deemed sexist, racist or homophobic, or may be found offensive by any minority group, is prohibited. Use of such language can result in immediate failure of that paper and possible future action."
It's an example of political correctness, and what makes it especially ironic is that the course in question isn't "Contemporary Feminism" or "Queer Theory 101." Instead, it's a class called "Speech Communication."
Speech codes, it seems, are everywhere. But they don't represent the triumph of liberalism, as you might think. Instead, they represent its surrender.
Harvey Silvergate is the author of the "Shadow University," a book about the restrictions on the liberties of college students. Silvergate says ninety percent of the nation's colleges have adopted speech codes.
The ostensible aim of these codes is to preserve the peace. But, as Silvergate points out, these codes are really little more than attempts at "mind control," designed to preserve a secular orthodoxy on campus.
Silvergate cites the example of a religion professor who quoted biblical passages that describe the role of women and sinfulness of homosexuality. He was brought up on charges of hostility to woman and gays.
Now, the ability to punish politically incorrect speech might seem like a victory for secular liberalism. But, as philosopher Russell Hittinger pointed out at Prison Fellowship's recent Wilberforce Conference on worldview in Colorado Springs, these codes are actually an admission of weakness.
As Hittinger explained, "Once upon a time people really did believe that the modern ["isms"] would provide an order of truth to replace the older worldview of [Christianity.]" It was the belief that "isms" such as Marxism and Darwinism were true that made them so powerful.
But on the eve of the millennium, this faith in secular ideologies is in tatters. It's difficult to find anyone who will argue that any secular ideology describes reality and provides a sure foundation for organizing our lives.
What happened? In a word, postmodernism--the belief that there are no universal truths or norms. As Hittinger points out, secular liberalism not only doesn't make claims about absolutes, it denies, as an article of faith, that absolutes exist--including liberal absolutes. In an ironic twist, liberalism, which tried to reduce religion to a private matter, has itself been reduced to a private matter.
This leaves liberals ill-equipped to engage Christians in debates about the fitness of their belief system. Does that mean they're willing to concede the argument to Christians? Not at all. As Hittinger put it, "my fellow faculty is scared down to their socks of Christianity."
This fear produces the speech codes we see on campuses across the country. Knowing that they can't beat the Judeo-Christian tradition in a fair fight, they seek to repress it instead.
Christians are and should be concerned about the imposition of speech codes and other forms of censorship. But that's because we welcome the very debate our opponents fear. We know that it's not our belief system that's been tried and found wanting, but theirs.
And to those who find that assertion offensive, I can only ask, "what are you afraid of?" Chuck Colson
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Trust in yourself and you are doomed to disappointment; trust in money and you may have it taken from you; but trust in God, and you are never to be confounded in time or eternity. - D.L. Moody
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Who is Jesus? (http://www.ccci.org/whoisjesus/interactive-journey/)
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4 years old: My Mommy can do anything! 8 years old: My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot! 12 years old: My Mother doesn't really know quite everything. 14 years old: Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either. 16 years old: Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned. 18 years old: That old woman? She's way out of date! 25 years old: Well, she might know a little bit about it. 35 years old: Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion. 45 years old: Wonder what Mom would have thought about it? 65 years old: Wish I could talk it over with Mom.
It's a bittersweet day in the ancient Near East thousands of years ago: The thrill of being home again after years of exile is tempered by the humiliation of still being vassals of Persia. A tattered band of Hebrews gathers for several days of prayer, worship, and teaching.
Nehemiah leads the former exiles in a time of national confession and repentance. Then they pledge themselves in a binding agreement to live for God and obey His commandments. Nehemiah draws up a new governing charter for Israel, drafted in accordance with God's laws.
It would be a pattern for generations to come. Thousands of years later, in 1620, the Pilgrims draft yet another governing charter-the Mayflower Compact. They open their Bibles and read the account of Nehemiah. In imitation of the covenant pattern described there, they draw up their own set of mutual obligations.
The Mayflower Pilgrims saw themselves as the New Israelites building a New Jerusalem in the American wilderness. So the Old Testament pattern of government by charter seemed only fitting.
The tradition started by Nehemiah continued throughout the settlement of the New World. Every Puritan colony drew up its own constitutional charter following the pattern of the Mayflower Compact.
It began in 1639, when the great Puritan evangelist Thomas Hooker directed the drafting of Connecticut's constitution. The Reverend Hooker required that each article in the constitution be justified by references to Scripture.
This document became the blueprint for the constitution of every other colony in the New World. When it was time to construct a national constitution, the drafters imitated the pattern already set in the colonies.
So we can trace a straight line from Nehemiah, dedicating himself and the people to God in ancient Israel, to the founding of our own nation and form of government.
It's good to remind ourselves that the constitutional freedoms we enjoy did not come out of nowhere. They did not come from the ancient Greeks, who contributed in many other ways to our Western heritage. Nor did they derive from secular philosophies, though these, too, have contributed to our heritage.
No, America's most fundamental ideas about law and freedom stem from the biblical idea of a covenant, an agreement freely entered into between God and His people, outlining their mutual duties and privileges.
The great statesman Daniel Webster, on the 200th anniversary of the Pilgrims' landing, noted that the American Founders sought to base all our institutions, civil and political, on the truths of the Christian religion.
History textbooks often ignore the biblical roots of the American system of government. Under the banner of so-called "separation of church and state," our school books are silent about the religious influences that shaped our nation's history-to the point where many Christians do not even realize the enormous impact our faith has had on the American heritage.
Let us commit ourselves to educating ourselves and our children on the impact the Christian faith has had on America's constitutional form of government. And then let's recommit ourselves to the practice of confession and prayer for our nation. For there's truly no greater hope in times like these.
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The Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen and protect you from the evil one. --2 Thessalonians 3
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Farmer wins the ten million dollar lottery and is being interviewed. He is asked what he is going to do with all the money.
"Oh, I guess the first thing I'll do is go and pay a few bills"
"And what about the rest?", the reporter asks.
Farmer shrugs. "Well, I guess they'll just have to wait"
The Senseless World of Academia by Karla Dial In America's rights-obsessed culture, it's hard to imagine a place where liberty is an afterthought. Welcome to the 21st century campus.
{Double click on the web address above for additional information:}
=============== Please note: If you see a UNC student or a liberal reading 'Thought & Humor', please explain to them which is thought & which is humor. They always get it backwards....... ===============
Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and will not be faint. --Isaiah 40
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AMERICA ARCHIVED http://www.archives.gov/ This government site offers access to historic documents. View the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights.
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Two UNC grads are walking through the woods and come across this big deep hole.
"Wow...that looks deep."
"Sure does... toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is."
They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait... no noise.
"WOW. That is REALLY deep... here.. throw one of these great big rocks down there. Those should make a noise."
They pick up a couple football-sized rocks and toss them into the hole and wait... and wait. Nothing.
They look at each other in amazement. One gets a determined look on his face and says, "Hey...over here in the weeds, there's a railroad tie. Help me carry it over here. When we toss THAT sucker in, it's GOTTA make some noise."
The two drag the heavy tie over to the hole and heave it in. Not a sound comes from the hole.
Suddenly, out of the nearby woods, a goat appears, running like the wind. It rushes toward the two men, then right past them, running as fast as it's legs will carry it. Suddenly it leaps in the air and into the hole.
The two men are astonished with what they've just seen...
Then, out of the woods comes a farmer who spots the men and ambles over. "Hey... you two guys seen my goat out here?" "You bet we did! Craziest thing I ever seen. It came running like crazy and just jumped into this hole!"
"Nah", says the farmer, "That couldn't have been MY goat. My goat was chained to a railroad tie."
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A U.S. Postal Service mail carrier was making his rounds. He had a special-delivery package that had to be delivered in person, so he went up to the door. A woman answered, signed for the package, and took it.
The mail carrier spotted a snail on the ground near him. He stomped on the snail, yelling, "Die, snail, die! and ground the snail with his heel.
The woman asked, "Why did you just kill that snail?" The mail carrier replied, "That sneaky snail has been following me around all day!"
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I once went with friends to eat at the fanciest restaurant in Chapel Hill.* One friend was about halfway through his meal when he took a hard look at the potato, called the waitress over and said, "This potato is bad!"
To our utter amazement, the waitress picked the potato up, smacked it, put it back on the plate, then told my friend, "If that potato causes any more trouble, just let me know."
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While on a car trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.
After finishing their meal, the elderly woman left her glasses on the table, but she didn't miss them until they were back on the highway. By then, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around.
The elderly man fussed and complained all the way back to the restaurant. He called his wife every bad name he could think of.
When they finally arrived at the restaurant, and the woman got out of the car to retrieve her glasses, the man yelled to her, "And while you're in there, you might as well get my hat, too."
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Pneumonia: What you get after you've had old monia.
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Dear Howdy, Indeed I am a faithful Tarheel*, having both MA and Ph.D. from their fine chemistry department. But that doesn't keep me from getting a great kick out of the humor propogated by what appears to me to be a pack of wolves!!**
SERIOUSLY, THE HUMOR IS GREAT FUN BUT MY MAIN ATTRACTION WAS TO THE CONSERVATIVE MORAL AND POLITICAL STANCE THAT SEEMED TO CHARACTERIZE THE FIRST ISSUE I SAW. INCIDENTALLY (HE SAYS ACCIDENTALLY!), it was sent to me by a friend, so I really didn't "hear about you" at all, and still haven't. All I know is what has come in the two issues of the Newsletter I have seen. The best to you. S. P.
*Another name for UNC. ** UNC's archrival - NCSU.
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"Not being on the air, that's not important. But I'd like to be in the newsroom helping set the agenda."
Retired CBS Anchorman Walter Cronkite
{Dear Walter, Fair news knows no agenda - Howdy}
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Baby name ideas, based on your occupation!
PROFESSION.................................NAME
Lawyer's daughter.............................Sue Thief's son........................................Rob Lawyer's son.....................................Will Doctor 's son.....................................Bill Meteorologist's daughter....................Haley Steam shovel operator's son..............Doug Hair stylist's son...............................Bob Homeopathic doctor's son.................Herb Justice of the peace's daughter..........Mary Sound stage technician's son............Mike Hot-dog vendor's son........................Frank Gambler's daughter..........................Bette Exercise guru's son.........................Jim Cattle thief's son.............................Russell Painter's son..................................Art Iron worker's son............................Rusty TV show star's daughter.................Emmy Movie star's son.............................Oscar Barber's son...................................Harry Housewife's son .............................Dusty Minister's daughter ........................Faith Day-trader's daughter .....................Hope Televangelist's daughter ..................Charity IRS agent's daughter ......................Mony Geneticist's son ............................Gene Espresso vendor's son ...................Joe Undertaker's son ............................Barry Beautician's son .............................Curly Gardener's son ..............................Moe Florist's daughter ...........................Rose Baker's daughter ...........................Cookie Manicurist's son ............................Hans Athlete's son ................................Victor Lumberjack's son .........................Glenn Plumber's son ..............................John Accountant's daughter ...................Ira Musician's daughter ......................Melody Jeweler's daughter ........................Opal Gastrointerologist's daughter .........Fanny Politician's daughter .....................Patsy Butcher's daughter.............................Patty Bartender's daughter..........................Brandy Moving company exec's daughter.......Cari Counterfeiter's son.............................Bill Museum curator's son........................Art Book printer's daughter.......................Paige Trout fisher's daughter........................Brook Kindergarten teacher's son.................Skip Publisher's daughter..........................Mag Woodworker's daughter......................Peg Tennis player's son............................Ace Clothing manufacturer's daughter.........Polly Esther Teacher's son....................................Mark Landscaper's son...............................Phil Singer's twin daughters......................Harmony & Melody Highway patrolman's son....................Chase
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After much urging by his wife, a UNC grad applied for work on a farm. The foreman decided to give him a try and told him to milk a cow, equipping him with a stool and a bucket.
An hour later, the grad returned dirty and sweaty, the bucket in one hand and the broken stool in the other.
"Extracting the milk was easy," he explained. "The worst part was getting the cow to sit on the stool!"
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Bible - God's Word in different languages...
http://www.scriptures.com/
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Goodbye for now & rhapsodic/felicitous/halcyon vernal duration to you!!!
Your friend, confidant, & cohort, Howdy (probably spurious) P.S. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
DEDICATION: Mamie in Atlanta
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"I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to man. All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to us through this book." --Abraham Lincoln
"For we must consider that we shall be as a City upon a hill. The eyes of all people are upon us. So that if we shall deal falsely with our God in this work we have undertaken, and so cause Him to withdraw his present help from us, we shall be made a story and a byword throughout the world." --John Winthrop, Governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, 1630
"America was born a Christian nation. America was born to exemplify that devotion to the elements of righteousness, which are derived from the revelations of Holy Scriptures. Part of the destiny of Americans lies in their daily perusal of this great book of revelations. That if they would see America free and pure they will make their own spirits free and pure by this baptism of the Holy Spirit." --Woodrow Wilson
"It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians; not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ. For this very reason peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum, prosperity, and freedom of worship here." --Patrick Henry, original member of the Continental Congress
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Q: Why is 'Thought & Humor' so long? A: All newspapers & magazines are long!
Q: What if I can't read all of it? A: Delete it. Most folks don't read every word in every newspaper/magazine either?
Q: Am I required to memorize each article? A: Nope! Delete what you don't have time for or save for another time.
Q: Is 'T & H' Spam? A: No, it's made entirely of ham.
Q: Can I forward to friends & family? A: Please do.
Q: How many people have had opportunity to read 'T & H' E-Mail Newspapers? A: Well over 1 million + many forwards by you.
Q: Who is Howdy? A: We let him think he's the boss...
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Four important things to KNOW:
1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned & fall short of the glory of God.
2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (Free & at No Charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ (God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of Peace & Savior).
3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone, anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in, relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven).
4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE. No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist, Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives) to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through) ME (no other name).
This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - - (Rev. 3:20)
{Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian however they are great afterwards!!!} Ref: http://www.gty.org/IssuesandAnswers/archive/baptism.htm
Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment), and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness, forever with God), and only a few find it. --Matthew 7:13-14
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Take the best medicine of all for what ails you -- laughter: "Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects." --Arnold Glasow "Laughter is by definition healthy." --Doris Lessing "If somebody makes me laugh, I'm his slave for life." --Bette Midler The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter." --Mark Twain "What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul." -- Yiddish Proverb "Laughter is an instant vacation." -- Milton Berle "Laughter is the shortest distance between two people." -- Victor Borge
NOTICE: The jokes published in this list were either submitted directly to 'Thought & Humor' or are, we believe, in the public domain. If you think that we have published a joke without giving proper credit to its author/owner, please let us know and we will provide appropriate credit in a future mailing.
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The cartoon of the guy with the pizza in today's email looks incredibly like Bill Clinton. Can't imagine you considering him a poster boy! But I guess you are right . . . he was a junk food devotee. JB