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...By Dr. Howdy

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A UNC grad stopped by a pizza shop one night and ordered
a medium pizza.The Italian owner asked "How would you
like that cut, in six or four pieces?"After some thought, the
UNC student answered, "Better cut it in four, I don't think
I can eat six pieces!"

Almost everyone has experienced a muscle cramp. The muscle
becomes contracted and rigid, and is usually quite painful. The
contracted muscle gets locked into a self-sustaining knot, which
can last for hours or days.

Many muscle cramps are associated with exercise. These cramps
are often due to a depletion or imbalance of salts in the muscle tissue,
especially calcium, sodium, and potassium, which are lost in our
sweat. A buildup of lactic acid, one of the byproducts of heavy
exercise, also can contribute to the cramping. Such cramps can often
be relieved by drinking "electrolyte" drinks that restore the salt balance.

If you get a cramp, it may be helpful to move the muscle into its
least extended (shortest) position and massage it very gently. Eat
something with sodium and potassium (like a banana) and wait for
the cramp to ease.
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Two UNC grads were working on a house. The one who
was nailing down siding, would reach into his nail pouch,
pull out a nail and either toss it over his shoulder or nail it in.

The other grad, figuring this was worth looking into, asked,
"Why are you throwing those nails away?"

The first explained, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it's
pointed toward me I throw it away because it's defective.
If it's pointed toward the house I nail it in!"

The second got completely upset and yelled, "You moron!
The nails pointed toward you aren't defective! They're for the
other side of the house!"
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Chicago, Illinois is the candy capital of the world. Chicago
has more chocolate manufacturers within a small radius than
any other place in the world. This dates back to the 1800's
when Chicago was a national hub for transportation and man-
ufacturing, in addition to being very close to sources for
key candy ingredients -- milk and corn syrup, it was also
convenient to ship candy products to either coast from



The average medium size piano has about 230 strings, each
string having about 165 pounds of tension, with the combined
pull of all strings equaling approximately 18 tons.



In high school, Oscar-winning actress Hilary Swank was an
excellent athlete. She competed in Junior Olympics in
swimming, and placed fifth in the Washington state all-
around gymnastics.


Butterflies taste with their feet.


In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of
the world's nuclear weapons combined.


On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens
every year.



On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.



Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived



Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for
dating are already married.


The debate over God's existence is not new. Attempts to understand
ultimate reality date back to ancient Greece. Twenty-five centuries later,
the debate continues.

Thomas Nagel, an atheist philosopher, and Jay Budziszewski, a Christian
philosopher, recently added a new chapter in the debate. Nagel, in his
book The Last Word, offered a revealing insight into his personal
motivations for his atheistic beliefs.

"I want atheism to be true and am made uneasy by the fact that some of the
most intelligent and well-informed people I know are religious believers.
It isn't just that I don't believe in God and, naturally hope that I'm
right in my belief. It's that I hope that there is no God! I don't want
there to be a God; I don't want the universe to be like that." (Footnote
1: Thomas Nagel, The Last Word as quoted by J. Budziszewski in First
Things, June/July 2002, No. 124, pg. 28.)

Budziszewski responded to Nagel's comments in the journal First Things.
There he said that if Nagel's motivations are true of most atheists then,
"those who say that theism is a crutch have got it backwards…it is atheism
that serves as a crutch." (Footnote 2: J. Budziszewski, First Things,
June/July 2002, No. 124, pg. 28.)

But how could atheism be a crutch? Atheists often charge that theism is a
crutch because people are motivated to believe in God because that belief
gives meaning, hope, and order to their world. So how is it that not
believing in God could possibly be a crutch? Could possibly provide help
in this, at times, bewildering world? The answer is, that if taken
seriously, the idea of an all-knowing and all-seeing God taking account
of our lives is terrifying. I believe that many atheists keenly sense this.
They understand that if God exists, facile belief in Him is not enough.
If God exists, they know that they must submit themselves to God, and
not just partially, but entirely.

We do well to learn from the atheist's fear of the existence of God. It
is easy for believers in God to become very comfortable with the idea
of God's existence and then lose the great potency of this reality. The
atheist's fears remind us of this potency. Remind us that God is not a
powerless idea—a mute name only to be uttered before meals. God is the
most powerful reality that we must earnestly be confronted by.

Our days are not our own. Our thoughts are not just for our ears. Our
will is not king. These tremendous truths confront us when we are
confronted by the reality of God. May we do so earnestly so that our
faith will not be a crutch. Keith Cox


If you stop believing what your professor told you
had to be true and if you start thinking for yourself
you may come to some conclusions you hadn't
expected. You may find the Bible makes more
sense than you thought or were told to think.
Allow yourself to be ruined, ruined with regard
to what you always thought could be true. Can
you believe what you don't understand?You
and I believe everyday what we don't understand
unless it comes to the issue to salvation.
Dr. Woodrow Kroll


Our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior
from there, the Lord Jesus Christ. --Philippians 3


Two lawyers met at the local bar...

"How's business?" asked the first.

"Rotten," replied the other. "Yesterday, I chased an ambulance for
15 miles. When I finally caught up to it, there was already another
lawyer hanging on to the bumper."


*A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

*Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.


Demodex folliculorum, or the demodicid, is a tiny mite,
less than 0.4 mm long, that lives in your pores and hair
follicles, usually on the nose, forehead, cheek, and chin,
and often in the roots of your eyelashes.
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A UNC grad got engaged to two very pretty
women at the same time. One was named Edith;
the other named Kate. They met, discovered they
had the same fiancée, and told him:

"Get out of our lives you rascal. We'll teach you
that you can't have your Kate and Edith, too."


A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop
where two English gents are waiting.

"Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asks.
The two English gents just stare at him.

"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" he tries. The two
continue to stare.

"Parlare Italiano?" No response.

"Hablan ustedes Espanol?" Still nothing.

The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first
Englishman turns to the second and says, "Y'know, maybe
we should learn a foreign language."

"Why?" says the other. "That guy knew four languages,
and it didn't do him any good."


"Information? I need the number of Caseway Insurance Company."

"Would you spell that, please?"

"Certainly. That's C as in cadence. A as in aye. S as in sea.
E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you."

"Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor."


"How to Be Sure You're
a REAL Christian"
or 1-888-NEED-HIM (24/7 - free call)


A Proper English Gentleman...

A gentleman is returning home after a lengthy trip, and is met by his
servant at the station. This is the conversation that they have on their
way to his home...

"So, has anything happened while I've been away?"

"No, sir, I can't think of anything at all worth mentioning."

"Come now, I've been away for weeks. Surely something must
have happened in all that time."

"Well, sir, come to think of it, your dog died."

"My dear Clyde died? How awful! Still, he was getting on in
years, and I suppose it had to happen some time. How did he die?"

"The vet said it was probably from eating the rotten meat."

"The rotten meat? Since when do we leave rotten meat lying
around for the dog to eat?"

"Well, it was the horses, sir. They'd been rotting for some time
after the barn burned down."

"Good Lord! How in the world did the barn burn down?"

"It must have been some embers that blew over from the house, sir."

"The *house*? The house burnt down, too? How did the house burn down?"

"Well, sir, we think someone must have knocked over a candle."

"Oh. Candle? Wait a moment - we don't use candles anymore
to light the house! What were the candles doing there?"

"They were there for the wake, sir."

"The wake?!? Whose wake? For pity's sake..."

"Actually, your mother's, sir. She passed away quite suddenly."

"Oh my - Mother is dead. The house is gone, along with
the stable. Even my dog is dead. What did Mother die of?"

"It must have been the shock, sir."

"The shock."

"Yes, sir, the shock. When your daughter was accepted to UNC
the day after you left, sir. But aside from all that, it's been fairly quiet
while you've been away, sir."


One of the reasons for the success of the internet is its open,
peer-to-peer nature. All computers on the internet are equal,
and in the past it hasn't mattered whether your computer is
a 386 in Nguru on the end of a satellite phone or a big monster
in a New York rack. If that ever changes, I think we will lose
part of the essential, vital character of the internet. Doug Winter


1826: Morey Patented Internal Combustion Engine

Inventor Samuel Morey patented the internal combustion engine.
This engine burns fuel such as gasoline or diesel internally
to produce power, unlike steam engines, which burn oil or coal
outside the engine. Morey's patent was a less complex version
of the combustion engines found in today's cars and trucks.
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Most sources claim that the first motorcycle was built by Gottlieb
Daimler, an assistant to Nicholaus Otto (who invented the Otto cycle,
a kind of engine). In 1885, Daimler added a gasoline motor to a
wooden bicycle, replacing the pedals. Daimler's motorbike was
propelled by an engine, but it was not the first motor-driven cycle.

Actually, the first motorbike was built seventeen years earlier in
1868. It was not powered by a gasoline engine, but by a steam
engine. Its builder was Sylvester Roper. His steam-powered bike did
not catch on, but it anticipated many modern motorbike features,
including the twisting-handgrip throttle control.
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Street lights usually come on around dark, and flick off when the sun
rises. Are they turned on by someone in an office somewhere? Do
they have timers that make them go on and off?

Most street lights have photoelectric sensors that turn them on when
the light fades. Look at the top of a street light. The sensor may
be visible as a cylindrical protrusion, often surrounded by spiky
wires designed to keep birds from landing there.

Sometimes a street light will either stay on all day or never come on
at all. Each of these behaviors is usually caused by a defective
sensor. You may also notice a few street lights that turn on, then
buzz and go out, only to slowly brighten up again a few minutes
later. These lights are suffering from aging bulbs that are about to fail.
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Motherhood ~ If it was going to be easy, it never would
have started with something called labor!

The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them
while they are still on your side.

The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home
a pleasant atmosphere and to let the air out of the tires.

The right temperature in a home is maintained by warm
hearts, not by hot heads.

The joy of motherhood: the time when all the children are
finally in bed.

Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like
trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm.

Oh to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was
when he was small, and half as stupid as my teenager now
thinks I am.


The Failure of "Isms" : Why Speech Codes Exist

A syllabus for a course at the University of Maine
contains the following warning: "Any language that
may be deemed sexist, racist or homophobic, or may be
found offensive by any minority group, is prohibited.
Use of such language can result in immediate failure
of that paper and possible future action."

It's an example of political correctness, and what
makes it especially ironic is that the course in
question isn't "Contemporary Feminism" or "Queer
Theory 101." Instead, it's a class called "Speech Communication."

Speech codes, it seems, are everywhere. But they
don't represent the triumph of liberalism, as you
might think. Instead, they represent its surrender.

Harvey Silvergate is the author of the "Shadow
University," a book about the restrictions on the
liberties of college students. Silvergate says ninety
percent of the nation's colleges have adopted speech codes.

The ostensible aim of these codes is to preserve the
peace. But, as Silvergate points out, these codes are
really little more than attempts at "mind control,"
designed to preserve a secular orthodoxy on campus.

Silvergate cites the example of a religion professor
who quoted biblical passages that describe the role
of women and sinfulness of homosexuality. He was
brought up on charges of hostility to woman and gays.

Now, the ability to punish politically incorrect
speech might seem like a victory for secular
liberalism. But, as philosopher Russell Hittinger
pointed out at Prison Fellowship's recent Wilberforce
Conference on worldview in Colorado Springs,
these codes are actually an admission of weakness.

As Hittinger explained, "Once upon a time people
really did believe that the modern ["isms"] would
provide an order of truth to replace the older
worldview of [Christianity.]" It was the belief that
"isms" such as Marxism and Darwinism were true that
made them so powerful.

But on the eve of the millennium, this faith in
secular ideologies is in tatters. It's difficult to
find anyone who will argue that any secular ideology
describes reality and provides a sure foundation
for organizing our lives.

What happened? In a word, postmodernism--the belief
that there are no universal truths or norms. As
Hittinger points out, secular liberalism not only
doesn't make claims about absolutes, it denies, as an
article of faith, that absolutes exist--including
liberal absolutes. In an ironic twist, liberalism,
which tried to reduce religion to a private matter,
has itself been reduced to a private matter.

This leaves liberals ill-equipped to engage
Christians in debates about the fitness of their
belief system. Does that mean they're willing to
concede the argument to Christians? Not at all. As
Hittinger put it, "my fellow faculty is scared down
to their socks of Christianity."

This fear produces the speech codes we see on
campuses across the country. Knowing that they can't
beat the Judeo-Christian tradition in a fair fight,
they seek to repress it instead.

Christians are and should be concerned about the
imposition of speech codes and other forms of
censorship. But that's because we welcome the very
debate our opponents fear. We know that it's not our
belief system that's been tried and found wanting, but theirs.

And to those who find that assertion offensive, I can
only ask, "what are you afraid of?" Chuck Colson


Trust in yourself and you are doomed to disappointment;
trust in money and you may have it taken from you;
but trust in God, and you are never to be confounded in
time or eternity. - D.L. Moody


Who is Jesus? (


4 years old: My Mommy can do anything!
8 years old: My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 years old: My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 years old: Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.
16 years old: Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 years old: That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 years old: Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 years old: Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.
45 years old: Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
65 years old: Wish I could talk it over with Mom.
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America's Biblical Roots
by Charles Colson

It's a bittersweet day in the ancient Near East
thousands of years ago: The thrill of being home
again after years of exile is tempered by the
humiliation of still being vassals of Persia. A
tattered band of Hebrews gathers for several days of
prayer, worship, and teaching.

Nehemiah leads the former exiles in a time of
national confession and repentance. Then they pledge
themselves in a binding agreement to live for God and
obey His commandments. Nehemiah draws up a new
governing charter for Israel, drafted in accordance
with God's laws.

It would be a pattern for generations to come.
Thousands of years later, in 1620, the Pilgrims draft
yet another governing charter-the Mayflower Compact.
They open their Bibles and read the account of
Nehemiah. In imitation of the covenant pattern
described there, they draw up their own set of mutual obligations.

The Mayflower Pilgrims saw themselves as the New
Israelites building a New Jerusalem in the American
wilderness. So the Old Testament pattern of
government by charter seemed only fitting.

The tradition started by Nehemiah continued
throughout the settlement of the New World. Every
Puritan colony drew up its own constitutional charter
following the pattern of the Mayflower Compact.

It began in 1639, when the great Puritan evangelist
Thomas Hooker directed the drafting of Connecticut's
constitution. The Reverend Hooker required that each
article in the constitution be justified by
references to Scripture.

This document became the blueprint for the
constitution of every other colony in the New World.
When it was time to construct a national
constitution, the drafters imitated the pattern
already set in the colonies.

So we can trace a straight line from Nehemiah,
dedicating himself and the people to God in ancient
Israel, to the founding of our own nation and form of government.

It's good to remind ourselves that the constitutional freedoms
we enjoy did not come out of nowhere. They did not come
from the ancient Greeks, who contributed in many
other ways to our Western heritage. Nor did they
derive from secular philosophies, though these, too,
have contributed to our heritage.

No, America's most fundamental ideas about law and
freedom stem from the biblical idea of a covenant, an
agreement freely entered into between God and His
people, outlining their mutual duties and privileges.

The great statesman Daniel Webster, on the 200th
anniversary of the Pilgrims' landing, noted that the
American Founders sought to base all our
institutions, civil and political, on the truths of
the Christian religion.

History textbooks often ignore the biblical roots of
the American system of government. Under the banner
of so-called "separation of church and state," our
school books are silent about the religious
influences that shaped our nation's history-to the
point where many Christians do not even realize the
enormous impact our faith has had on the American heritage.

Let us commit ourselves to educating ourselves and
our children on the impact the Christian faith has had on
America's constitutional form of government. And then let's
recommit ourselves to the practice of confession and
prayer for our nation. For there's truly no greater
hope in times like these.


The Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen and protect
you from the evil one. --2 Thessalonians 3


Farmer wins the ten million dollar lottery and is being
interviewed. He is asked what he is going to do with all the money.

"Oh, I guess the first thing I'll do is go and pay a few bills"

"And what about the rest?", the reporter asks.

Farmer shrugs. "Well, I guess they'll just have to wait"
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The Senseless World of Academia
by Karla Dial
In America's rights-obsessed culture, it's hard to imagine a place where
liberty is an afterthought. Welcome to the 21st century campus.

{Double click on the web address above for additional information:}

Please note: If you see a UNC student or a liberal reading
'Thought & Humor', please explain to them which is thought
& which is humor. They always get it backwards.......

Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and
not grow weary, they will walk and will not be faint.
--Isaiah 40


This government site offers access to historic documents.
View the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights.


Two UNC grads are walking through the woods and come
across this big deep hole.

"Wow...that looks deep."

"Sure does... toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is."

They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait... no noise.

"WOW. That is REALLY deep... here.. throw one of these great
big rocks down there. Those should make a noise."

They pick up a couple football-sized rocks and toss them into
the hole and wait... and wait. Nothing.

They look at each other in amazement. One gets a determined look
on his face and says, "Hey...over here in the weeds, there's a
railroad tie. Help me carry it over here. When we toss THAT
sucker in, it's GOTTA make some noise."

The two drag the heavy tie over to the hole and heave it in. Not
a sound comes from the hole.

Suddenly, out of the nearby woods, a goat appears, running
like the wind. It rushes toward the two men, then right past them,
running as fast as it's legs will carry it. Suddenly it leaps in
the air and into the hole.

The two men are astonished with what they've just seen...

Then, out of the woods comes a farmer who spots the men and
ambles over. "Hey... you two guys seen my goat out here?"
"You bet we did! Craziest thing I ever seen. It came running
like crazy and just jumped into this hole!"

"Nah", says the farmer, "That couldn't have been MY goat.
My goat was chained to a railroad tie."


A U.S. Postal Service mail carrier was making his rounds. He had
a special-delivery package that had to be delivered in person, so he
went up to the door. A woman answered, signed for the package,
and took it.

The mail carrier spotted a snail on the ground near him. He stomped
on the snail, yelling, "Die, snail, die! and ground the snail with his heel.

The woman asked, "Why did you just kill that snail?" The mail carrier
replied, "That sneaky snail has been following me around all day!"


I once went with friends to eat at the fanciest restaurant
in Chapel Hill.* One friend was about halfway through his
meal when he took a hard look at the potato, called the
waitress over and said, "This potato is bad!"

To our utter amazement, the waitress picked the potato up,
smacked it, put it back on the plate, then told my friend,
"If that potato causes any more trouble, just let me know."


While on a car trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside
restaurant for lunch.

After finishing their meal, the elderly woman left her glasses on the
table, but she didn't miss them until they were back on the highway.
By then, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a
place to turn around.

The elderly man fussed and complained all the way back to the
restaurant. He called his wife every bad name he could think of.

When they finally arrived at the restaurant, and the woman got out of
the car to retrieve her glasses, the man yelled to her, "And while
you're in there, you might as well get my hat, too."


Pneumonia: What you get after you've had old monia.


Dear Howdy, Indeed I am a faithful Tarheel*, having both
MA and Ph.D. from their fine chemistry department.
But that doesn't keep me from getting a great kick out
of the humor propogated by what appears to me to be
a pack of wolves!!**

sent to me by a friend, so I really didn't "hear about
you" at all, and still haven't. All I know is what has
come in the two issues of the Newsletter
I have seen. The best to you.
S. P.

*Another name for UNC.
** UNC's archrival - NCSU.


"Not being on the air, that's not important. But I'd like
to be in the newsroom helping set the agenda."

Retired CBS Anchorman Walter Cronkite

{Dear Walter, Fair news knows no agenda - Howdy}


Baby name ideas, based on your occupation!


Lawyer's daughter.............................Sue
Thief's son........................................Rob
Lawyer's son.....................................Will
Doctor 's son.....................................Bill
Meteorologist's daughter....................Haley
Steam shovel operator's son..............Doug
Hair stylist's son...............................Bob
Homeopathic doctor's son.................Herb
Justice of the peace's daughter..........Mary
Sound stage technician's son............Mike
Hot-dog vendor's son........................Frank
Gambler's daughter..........................Bette
Exercise guru's son.........................Jim
Cattle thief's son.............................Russell
Painter's son..................................Art
Iron worker's son............................Rusty
TV show star's daughter.................Emmy
Movie star's son.............................Oscar
Barber's son...................................Harry
Housewife's son .............................Dusty
Minister's daughter ........................Faith
Day-trader's daughter .....................Hope
Televangelist's daughter ..................Charity
IRS agent's daughter ......................Mony
Geneticist's son ............................Gene
Espresso vendor's son ...................Joe
Undertaker's son ............................Barry
Beautician's son .............................Curly
Gardener's son ..............................Moe
Florist's daughter ...........................Rose
Baker's daughter ...........................Cookie
Manicurist's son ............................Hans
Athlete's son ................................Victor
Lumberjack's son .........................Glenn
Plumber's son ..............................John
Accountant's daughter ...................Ira
Musician's daughter ......................Melody
Jeweler's daughter ........................Opal
Gastrointerologist's daughter .........Fanny
Politician's daughter .....................Patsy
Butcher's daughter.............................Patty
Bartender's daughter..........................Brandy
Moving company exec's daughter.......Cari
Counterfeiter's son.............................Bill
Museum curator's son........................Art
Book printer's daughter.......................Paige
Trout fisher's daughter........................Brook
Kindergarten teacher's son.................Skip
Publisher's daughter..........................Mag
Woodworker's daughter......................Peg
Tennis player's son............................Ace
Clothing manufacturer's daughter.........Polly Esther
Teacher's son....................................Mark
Landscaper's son...............................Phil
Singer's twin daughters......................Harmony & Melody
Highway patrolman's son....................Chase


After much urging by his wife, a UNC grad
applied for work on a farm. The foreman
decided to give him a try and told him to milk a cow,
equipping him with a stool and a bucket.

An hour later, the grad returned dirty and sweaty, the
bucket in one hand and the broken stool in the other.

"Extracting the milk was easy," he explained. "The worst
part was getting the cow to sit on the stool!"


Bible - God's Word in different languages...


Goodbye for now & rhapsodic/felicitous/halcyon vernal duration to you!!!

Your friend, confidant, & cohort,
(probably spurious)
P.S. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

DEDICATION: Mamie in Atlanta


"I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to man.
All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to
us through this book." --Abraham Lincoln

"For we must consider that we shall be as a City upon a hill.
The eyes of all people are upon us. So that if we shall deal
falsely with our God in this work we have undertaken, and
so cause Him to withdraw his present help from us, we
shall be made a story and a byword throughout the world."
--John Winthrop, Governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, 1630

"America was born a Christian nation. America was born
to exemplify that devotion to the elements of righteousness,
which are derived from the revelations of Holy Scriptures.
Part of the destiny of Americans lies in their daily perusal
of this great book of revelations. That if they would see
America free and pure they will make their own spirits
free and pure by this baptism of the Holy Spirit."
--Woodrow Wilson

"It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this
great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians;
not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ. For this
very reason peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum,
prosperity, and freedom of worship here."
--Patrick Henry, original member of the Continental Congress


Q: Why is 'Thought & Humor' so long?
A: All newspapers & magazines are long!

Q: What if I can't read all of it?
A: Delete it. Most folks don't read every word in every newspaper/magazine either?

Q: Am I required to memorize each article?
A: Nope! Delete what you don't have time for or save for another time.

Q: Is 'T & H' Spam?
A: No, it's made entirely of ham.

Q: Can I forward to friends & family?
A: Please do.

Q: How many people have had opportunity to read 'T & H' E-Mail Newspapers?
A: Well over 1 million + many forwards by you.

Q: Who is Howdy?
A: We let him think he's the boss...


Four important things to KNOW:

1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist,
Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons,
Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned & fall short of the glory of God.

2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation
from God, & damnation) but the Gift (Free & at No Charge to you) of
God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in
union with) Jesus Christ (God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah,
Prince of Peace & Savior).

3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world (Americans, Muslims,
Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist,
Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up His only
begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone, anywhere, anytime - while still
living) believes (trust in, relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall
have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven).

4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE. No one (male/female
- American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian,
European, Baptist, Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives)
to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through) ME (no other name).

This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - -
(Rev. 3:20)

{Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good things, etc. are
not requirements for becoming a Christian however they are great afterwards!!!}

Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction
(Hell, damnation, eternal punishment), and many enter through it. But small
is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness,
forever with God), and only a few find it. --Matthew 7:13-14


Take the best medicine of all for what ails you -- laughter:
"Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects."
--Arnold Glasow
"Laughter is by definition healthy."
--Doris Lessing
"If somebody makes me laugh, I'm his slave for life."
--Bette Midler
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."
--Mark Twain
"What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul."
-- Yiddish Proverb
"Laughter is an instant vacation."
-- Milton Berle
"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."
-- Victor Borge

NOTICE: The jokes published in this list were either submitted
directly to 'Thought & Humor' or are, we believe, in the public
domain. If you think that we have published a joke without
giving proper credit to its author/owner, please let us know
and we will provide appropriate credit in a future mailing.


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is sent out FREE via e-mail w/o ads. This information
was sent to you because you made the request, 'Thought
& Humor' is one small attempt to obey "The Great Commission".
First published in the last century (July 26, 1997).
Soli Deo Gloria...
________ "E-Mail Newspaper (Free4u)" _________
References gleaned for great humor & information: Merry Heart,
Thomas S. Elworth, Funny List, MeMail, Daily Dose, Joke of the
Day, Kim Komando, Shagmail, MIKEY'S FUNNIES , The Daily
Tease,, & MSKitty.
Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.

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and we apologize if any message causes any inconvenience
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humor) The E-Mail Newspaper is sent to you with love.

Notice: 'Thought & Humor' uses Norton Antivirus for our readers' protection.
  .comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
The cartoon of the guy with the pizza in today's email looks incredibly like Bill Clinton. Can't imagine you considering him a poster boy! But I guess you are right . . . he was a junk food devotee. JB
  .comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
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* * * Great Archives Here - - - - "Music That Howdy Enjoys" Below * * *

February 2006   March 2006   April 2006   May 2006   June 2006   July 2006   August 2006   September 2006   October 2006   November 2006   December 2006   December 2007  

How Can I Know God???

Tales of Narnia

Answering Islam

The Da Vinci Code

A Short Look At Six World Religions

Bible - God's Word in different languages...

My Heart Christ's Home

Big John's America

Not Garbage

Discovery Institute

See The Word

Bible Study Info

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How to become a Christian

The Berean Call

Great For Kids

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Who Is Jesus???

Christian Apologetics

Christian Web Info

Great Christians In History

History of American Christianity

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Bible Search Tools

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Lincoln - A Christian

Mission To America

One Place For Learning

President Lincoln

Purgatory, Heaven Or Hell?

Intellectual Takeout

Evangelical Viewpoint

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Outstanding Bible Teacher

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Listen To The Bible

Is Jesus God?


Great Bible Teaching

America - Why I Love Her

How To Become A Christian

*Watch The Jesus Movie*


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Muhammad or Jesus???

Why The U.S.A. Is At War - 1

Why The U.S.A. Is At War - 2

Christian Women

Politics & Religion

Is Jesus God?

Statement Of What Howdy Believes!!!

Bible Crosswords

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***Watch The Jesus Movie***
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Howdy's Blog #2

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Music That Howdy Enjoys

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Blueberry Hill

Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring


A Taste Of Honey - clip

(I Left My Heart) In San Francisco - clip

Take The 'A' Train - clip

Hello, Dolly! - clip

Peggy Sue - clip

Theme From Peter Gunn - clip

Song from Moulin Rouge


Ebb Tide

Tara's Theme from Gone with the Wind

Around the World in 80 Days

Breakfast at Tiffany's


The Way We Were

You Do Something to Me



A Foggy Day



Arrivederci Roma

Theme from Moulin Rouge II

Stardust - Big Band



Rhapsody in Blue

Sleepy Lagoon

My Foolish Heart

Lisbon Antigua

La Mer

April in Portugal

Because of You

Poor People of Paris

Unchained Melody

Stranger on the Shore


Maple Leaf Rag

Voices of Spring

Radetzky March

Water Music (Excerpt) George Frideric Handel

Finale - William Tell Overture

Overture - My Fair Lady

The Rain in Spain

The Lonely Bull - Herb Alpert

Tijuana Taxi - Herb Alpert

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So Rare

Mona Lisa

Ghost Riders in the Sky

Walk, Don't Run

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Down Yonder

Midnight in Moscow

Crazy Medley


That's for Me

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Harbor Lights

Dueling Banjoes II

Autumn Leaves

My Foolish Heart

Don't Know Much





Close To You

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Sing A Song

Yesterday Once More

We've Only Just Begun

Goodbye To Love

Only You

As Time Goes By

As Time Goes By II

As Time Goes By - Original

After Loving

San Francisco

Stranger In Paradise

Mrs. Howdy

Rags To Riches

The Good Life

Hello Dolly

All Of Me

Thank Heaven For Little Girls

Beyond The Sea

Everybody Loves

Return To Me

That's Amore

Autumn Leaves

Love Me With All Your Heart

If I Give My Heart To You

Autumn Leaves II

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See The USA

My Prayer

You Always Hurt

Take Me Out To The Ballgame

Love Me Tender

Its Now Or Never

Old Shep

Dont Be Cruel

When I Fall In Love

When I Fall In Love II

When I Fall In Love III

A Fool Such As I

You'll Never Know


I'm Yours

Wish You Were Here

Lady Of Spain


It's Magic

Secret Love

This Magic Moment

My Prayer

Twilight Time

Great Pretender

Harbor Lights

Little Darlin'


No Other Love

Magic Moments

Till The End Of Time

Dont Let The Stars

Overture - Barber of Seville

Back In The Saddle

You Always Hurt

When I Fall

When A Man

True Love



In The Mood

A Taste Of Honey

The Lonely Bull

Lollipops And Roses

This Guys In Love With You

What Now My Love

Three Coins In The Fountain

You've Gotta Have Heart


Stranger In Paradise II

Love Is...


Georgia On My Mind

Sentimental Over You

Thanks For The Memories

Too Young


Never On Sunday

Yellow Rose Of Texas


My Little Corner

Speak Low

Moments To Remember


Be My Love

Embassy Waltz


A Certain Smile

Chances Are

Not For Me To Say

Stranger On The Shore

I'll Be Seeing You

Cherry Pink


Moonlight Serenade

Last Date

Naughty Lady

Til I Kissed You

All I Have To Do Is Dream

Dixie Land Band

Ghost Riders In The Sky

The Happy Wanderer


Santa Catalina

Band Of Gold

Auld Lang Syne

The Wayward Wind

P.S. I Love You

Harbor Lights

Ebb Tide

Lime Light

Green Door

My Heart Cries

Down Yonder

Silvana Mangano Anna

Does Your Chewing Gum?

Grand Night For Singing

Purple People Eater

Orange Blossom Special

I'll Get By

'Til Then

Katie At UNC

Love Letters

As Time Goes By

Cheek To Cheek

Mission Impossible

The Way You Look Tonight


Glad To Be An American

Battle Hymn Of The Republic

How Great Thou Art

Have Thine Own Way

Beyond The Sunset

Amazing Grace

He's Got The Whole World

Peace In The Valley

How Great Thou Art II

Stars & Stripes Forever

Tennessee Waltz

Beverly Hillbillies Theme

El Paso

Happy Trails

Big John

Sixteen Tons

Which Doctor?

Wonderful! Wonderful!




Daniel Boone

Davy Crockett

Dick VanDyke

Donna Reed

Father Knows Best


Gomer Pile


Have Gun

Hawaii Five-O

Hogans Heroes







Law & Order

Lone Ranger

Magnificent 7


Man From Uncle




Mission I

Mr. Ed

My 3 Sons

Raw Hide

Real McCoys

Rifle Man

Secret Agent

Simon & Simon




Super Man














Victory I


The Lion Sleeps Tonight

Mr. Sandman

Only The Lonely

Beyond The Sea


Magnificent 7

Magnificent 7 - II


I Walk The Line

God loves you so much that He died for you!!!


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Verse of the Day

* * * Four Important Things To KNOW: #1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned & fall short of the glory of God. #2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ (God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of Peace & Savior of the World). #3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone, anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in, relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven). #4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE. No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist, Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives) to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through) ME (no other name). *** This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - - (Rev. 3:20) {Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian - however they are great afterwards!!!} *** Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment), and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness, forever with God), and only a few find it.

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But these are written so that you may
believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the
Son of God, and that by believing in
Him you will have life. Jn 20:31

Seek the Lord while He may be found;
call on Him while He is near. Let the
wicked forsake his way and the evil
man his thoughts. Let him turn to the
Lord, and He will have mercy on him,
and to our God, for He will freely
pardon. "For My thoughts are not
your thoughts, neither are your ways
My ways," declares the Lord. "As the
heavens are higher than the earth, so
are My ways higher than your ways
and My thoughts than your thoughts.
As the rain and the snow come down
from heaven, and do not return to it
without watering the earth and making
it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed
for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is My word that goes out from My
mouth: It will not return to Me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire and
achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
You will go out in joy and be led forth
in peace; the mountains and hills will
burst into song before you, and all the
trees of the field will clap their hands.
Instead of the thornbush will grow the
pine tree, and instead of briers the myrtle
will grow. This will be for the Lord's
renown, for an everlasting sign, which
will not be destroyed." Is 55

O Lord, you have searched me and you
know me. You know when I sit and when
I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying
down; you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue you know
it completely, O Lord. You hem me in -
behind and before; you have laid your
hand upon me. Such knowledge is too
wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where
can I flee from your presence? If I go up
to the heavens, you are there; if I make
my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide
me and the light become night around
me," even the darkness will not be dark
to you; the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you. For you
created my inmost being; you knit me
together in my mother's womb. I praise
you because I am fearfully and wonderfully
made; your works are wonderful, I know
that full well. My frame was not hidden
from you when I was made in the secret
place. When I was woven together in the
depths of the earth, your eyes saw my
unformed body. All the days ordained
for me were written in your book before
one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts,
O God! How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them, they would
outnumber the grains of sand. When
I awake, I am still with you. Search me,
O God, and know my heart; test me
and know my anxious thoughts. See
if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Ps 139

But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.

Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were a present far too small:
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.
- - Isaac Watts

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