This Blog -
Moved To:
http://professor-howdy.blogspot.com/

A Special Message to each reader
of 'Thought & Humor' from Howdy:

http://www.riversongs.com/Flash/you.html
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A man was chosen for jury duty who very much wanted to be
dismissed from serving. He tried every excuse he could think
of but none of them worked.

On the day of the trial he decided to give it one more shot. As the
trial was about to begin he asked if he could approach the bench.

"Your Honor," he said, " I must be excused from this trial because I
am prejudiced against the defendant. I took one look at the man in
his blue suit with those beady eyes and that dishonest face and I
said to myself, 'He's a crook! He's guilty, guilty, guilty!' So, your
Honor, I could not possibly stay on this jury!"

With a tired annoyance the judge replied, "Get back in the jury box.
That man is his lawyer."
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There was a UNC grad driving down the center of the road at 100 mph.
A police officer pulled her over to the side of the road. When she
had stopped, the officer asked, "License and Registration please"

"It's okay, Officer, I have a special license that allows me to do
this," she said smiling.

"That's impossible!" The officer replied, "I've never heard of such
a license."

To which the driver reached into her purse and handed him her
license. Astonished, the Officer said, "Just as I suspected. This
is an ordinary license, I see nothing here that would allow you
special consideration."

She pointed to the bottom of the license, "See? it says so right
here: 'Tear Along The Dotted Line'."
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Evidence has been found that William Tell and his
family were avid bowlers. However, all the league
records were unfortunately destroyed in a fire.

Thus we'll never know for whom the Tell's bowled.
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A UNC grad spent all day making his funny money. At the
end of the day he realizes he spent all his time making $15 bills.

He figures that the only way he's going to get anything from this
batch of money, is to find a place where the people aren't too
bright and change his phony money for real cash.

He travels to a small town in the backwoods and walks into a
small Mom and Pop grocery store. He goes to the old man
behind the counter and asks him, "Do you have change for a $15 bill?"

The old man replies, "I sure do. How would you like that?
An 8 and a 7 or two 6s and a three?"
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Dear Howdy,

As, always, a great T&H! I am reminded today of what a truly great servant
you are for Christ! Putting together such a varied and always new and
interesting publication for the whole world to read is nothing short of a
huge task and challenge. You show grace and love towards all those who send
you negative comments (putting that lightly, occasionally) and display great
consideration and concern for all of your readers. In that, you personify
Christ. I admire your efforts and your efforts must not be underestimated.

GOD BLESS YOU HOWDY for you work in the Great Commission!!!
Ellen

PS: Loved the Cartoon Character Quiz...I was Sponge Bob! LOL. I'd be
interested to hear what everyone else summed up to be!
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Howdy,

I wake up in the morning,
And can hardly wait to see
If I've received a mailing,
addressed from you to me.

I get my puter running
And much to my delight,
Your poems, jokes and other things
Come quickly into sight.

Please keep those emails coming,
They are so enjoyable you see
Funny things, friendly things
Those things you mail to me.

But most of all the fun of it,
Is knowing that they came.
From you my friend,
The one I need not name.

Shirl
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You can be on our mailing list also by clicking on the button way below...

Howdy
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Dear Howdy,

For some time now I have been guilty of just skipping (deleting)
the T&H msgs. I must not do that from now on. Yesterday I laughed
so much and that was good free therapy!! I even forwarded. Thanks
for keeping them clean--- there is really no need to dirty good humor.

Pamela
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Dear Howdy,

You may seen this before. It's worth reading again.

A GLASS OF MILK

One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door
to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime
left, and he was hungry. He decided he would ask for a meal at the
next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman
opened the door. Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She
thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He
drank it slowly, and then asked, How much do I owe you?" You don't
owe me anything," she replied. "Mother has taught us never to accept
pay for a kindness"! He said..... "Then I thank you from my heart."

As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt stronger
physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been
ready to give up and quit.

Many years later that same young woman became critically
ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city,
where they called in specialists to study her rare disease. Dr. Howard
Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name
of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes. Immediately
he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room. Dressed in
his doctor's gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at once. He
went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save
her life. From that day he gave special attention to her case.

After a long struggle, the battle was won. Dr. Kelly requested the
business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it,
then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room. She
feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay
for it all. Finally she looked, and something caught her attention on the
side of the bill. She read these words.....

"Paid in full with one glass of milk"
(Signed) Dr. Howard Kelly.

Tears of joy flooded her eyes as her happy heart prayed:

"Thank You, God, that Your love has spread broad through human hearts
and hands."

There's a saying which goes something like this: Bread cast
on the waters comes back to you. The good deed you do today may
benefit you or someone you love at the least expected time. If you never
see the deed again at least you will have made the world a better place -
And, after all, isn't that what life is all about?

Sarah (UNC)
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Godiva Chocolates were launched in 1926 in Brussels,
Belgium, when master chocolatier Joseph Draps founded,
with his family, a chocolate company named in honor of the
1040 A.D. legend of Lady Godiva. Draps had perfected a unique
formula of rich, smooth chocolate. With an eye for detail,
he launched elegant, European shell-moulded designs and
exquisite packaging. Through the years, his standards have
been maintained as zealously as his recipes have been
guarded. Since its U.S. introduction in 1966, Godiva
continues to be a leader in the premium confectionery
industry. Godiva's famous Open Oyster, a shell-moulded
chocolate filled with hazelnut praliné, is the company's
best-selling individual chocolate piece
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A UNC grad had always dreamed of owning his own cattle
ranch, and finally made enough money to buy himself the
spread of his dreams in Wyoming.

"So, what did you name the ranch?" asked his best friend
when he flew out to visit.

"We had a heck of a time," admitted the new cowboy.
"Couldn't agree on anything. We finally settled on the
Double R Lazy L Triple Horseshoe Bar-7 Lucky Diamond Ranch."

"Wow!" his friend was impressed. But looking around he
saw no cattle. "So... where are all the cows?"

"None of 'em survived the branding."
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Driving is never more exciting than it is during a major snowstorm.
In fact, it is so exciting you ought to avoid it. Sometimes you just can't.
I was scheduled to speak at a retreat in the Pocono Mountains one January
weekend and a major snowstorm moved in right on the Friday when everyone
is supposed to be traveling to Pennsylvania from New Jersey. I waited all day
for the call, "Sorry, it's been cancelled." I got the call. They were still going,
and by that time it was dark. It was snowing very impressively, so I traveled
at a very reduced speed and it looked almost impossible to make it until I
spotted my friend up ahead - my friend the snow plow. He was clearing a
lane as he went. I just fell in right behind Mr. Snow Plow and followed him
through the storm all the way to the state line.

Our word for today from the Word of God comes from Isaiah 43:16. God
says, "This is what the Lord says - He who made a way through the sea, a
path through the mighty waters." Verse 18: "Forget the former things; do not
dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you
not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the
wasteland." God is described here as He who made a way. This is a very
exciting view of our Heavenly Father. He's the way-maker when there is no
way. Like when the Jews were on the banks of the Red Sea, every sense said
it was over. No way. Now, young people often pick up phrases and dialogue
from popular movies. One of those that came from a movie a few years ago was
a response when someone says, "No way." You just go, "Way." That's short
for, "No, you're wrong. There is a way."

Right now you might be facing a seemingly impossible situation and
you're shaking your head like the Jews at the Red Sea and you're saying "No
way." Then there's this unexpected whisper from God's heart to yours: "Way."
He's just trying to assure you that He will make a way through mighty waters
that seem overwhelming and unmovable - through the desert, a place where
there seems to be no resources.

If you've committed yourself to Jesus as your personal Savior, you
belong to a way-making God. What does that mean? You can't judge the
outcome by how bad the situation is. Your Father can overrule that. You
can't judge by how impossible it is. It's only impossible by earth standards.
But your God doesn't have impossible in His vocabulary. You can't judge by
how late it is. You say, "Man, there's not enough time for an answer now."
Hey, God could do in an hour what men couldn't pull off in fifty years.

Stand with Job on this conviction. It's in Job 42:2, "I know that
you can do all things, Lord, no plan of yours can be thwarted." One
treacherous snowy night I looked ahead at a road that seemed impossible
until I saw someone going ahead of me who could clear that road.

One fearful day, God's ancient people stood on the banks of the Red
Sea trapped before the attacking armies of Egypt until they saw someone who
could part a sea and bury an army. That very same God, the great Way-Maker,
is out in front of you. Ron Hutchcraft
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