The Game Warden stopped a UNC* grad deer hunter and asked to see his hunting license. "This is last year's license," the warden informed him. "I know," said the UNC grad, "but I shouldn't need a new license, I am only shooting at the deer I missed last year."
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*UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill. Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including: B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), N.U.T., A.P.E., B.R.C. (Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898 for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State.
The battles were horrendous. The casualties were many. But the outcome changed everything. That's a very quick summary of the final episode of J.R.R. Tolkien's classic trilogy, "Lord of the Rings." That trilogy jumped off of dusty bookshelves and into the popular culture with their portrayal in three of the most successful movies of all time. Tolkien weaves a tale of a world called Middle Earth where these soulless, subhuman beings are attempting to stamp out the "Age of Humans." Finally, in the concluding "Return of the King," Middle Earth's rightful king, Aragorn, leads the humans in one last, all-out attempt to turn back the forces of evil. After many costly battles, there's a glorious coronation day for the triumphant king. As the crown is placed on the head of the rightful ruler before this jubilant crowd of his subjects, they know the dark days are over. And the one who crowned him makes this hope-filled announcement - "Now begin the days of the King!"
It might be time for that announcement in your life - that the rightful King is finally on the throne, because up until now, you've been there. Making the calls, running things your way, giving Jesus time and even money, but not the throne.
In Tolkien's "Return of the King," there's a man who is supposed to be the caretaker of the throne until the rightful ruler takes his place there. But when it comes time for the king to take the throne, the caretaker refuses to let go of it. He has to be forcibly and violently overthrown. Don't wait for that to happen to you. Jesus is the King of all kings. He is the Lord of all lords. What are you doing holding onto the throne of your life where He is supposed to reign supreme?
Our word for today from the Word of God in 1 Peter 3:15 reveals this straightforward command: "In your hearts set apart Christ as Lord." Notice it says, "in your heart." A lot of people are willing to let Christ be Lord in their head. He's the honorary chairman of their life, but they're still doing what they want to do, deciding which things Jesus can run and which things they will not let Him run. Jesus rips the mask off of that charade with His penetrating question in Luke 6:46, "Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say?" Lord in your head, Lord in your theology, Lord in your vocabulary - that's not what "Lord" means! "Lord" is the one who is running things, and could the reality be that you are the real "Lord" of much of your life? Then you are a rebel against the only rightful King - no matter how religiously you dress up your rebellion.
Western Christianity is so often a compartmentalized faith - where you have this beautiful Jesus compartment in your life where you pray, go to His meetings, read His book, do His work. But then there are all the other compartments - how you treat people, how you spend your money, what you do on a date, what you watch, what you listen to - how you run your business, your social life, your finances. Wait a minute! What are you doing running all that anyway? Jesus paid everything He had for your life. He's not interested in a compartment! He paid the whole price - He should have the whole thing!
The original word for "Lord" literally means, "the controller." Honestly now, who's the controller in your life? If it's not Jesus, than a rebel is on the throne - His throne. And things will never be right in your life so long as you're on the throne. Today could be one of the most liberating, most decisive days of your life, if you would make this Coronation Day for the One who is the nail-scarred, death-conquering, rightful King of you. Find a place where you can bow before King Jesus today and surrender it all to Him. Where you can relinquish a throne that has cost you so much to occupy. Now, today, begin the days of The King! Ron Hutchcraft
Look no further, the oldest national park is none other than Yellowstone.
The world's first and oldest national park was established by Congress and signed in-to law by Ulysses S. Grant on March 1, 1872. It was "dedicated and set apart as a public park" for the benefit and enjoyment of all people".
In 1997, worldwide sales of fragrance topped $15 billion, more than $6 billion in the United States alone.
Astronomers believe that the universe contains one atom for every 88 gallons of space.
The multi-layered space suite worn by astronauts on the Apollo moon landings weighed 180 pounds on Earth and 30 pounds on the moon with the reduced lunar gravity.
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades - King David, Clubs - Alexander the Great, Hearts - Charlemagne, Diamonds - Julius Caesar.
The US federal income tax was first enacted in 1862 to support the Union's Civil War effort. It was eliminated in 1872, revived in 1894 then declared unconstitutional by the Supreme Court the following year. In 1913, the 16th Amendment to the Constitution made the income tax a permanent fixture in the US tax system.
Decleration of Independance
Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
"He has the right to criticize who has the heart to help."
President Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)
"Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time." Bill Gates
There is simply no historic foundation for the position that the Framers intended to build the 'wall of separation' that was constitutionalized in Everson. The 'wall of separation be- tween church and state' is a metaphor based on bad history, a metaphor which has proved useless as a guide to judging. It should be frankly and explicitly abandoned. - - - Chief Justice of the US Supreme Court, William Rehnquist
The Sovereign Lord is my strength; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, He enables me to go on the heights. --Habakkuk 3:19
Permission is hereby granted for you to change all humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought & Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another of your choice from the list below:
1) French university students 2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley 3) Any accredited high school or middle school 4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits 5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops 6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring to NCSU, JSU, MSU. UGA, or FSU.
Why did the chocolate chip cookie visit the doctor? He was feeling crummy.
What did the geometry teacher say when she lost her parrot? Where's my polygon?
The future is that time when you'll wish you'd done what you aren't doing now.
It's not only the big things that strain a relationship. Little things can pull people apart. Like hogging the bathroom. Coming home late again without calling. Not respecting a closed door by knocking first Forgetting to say thank you after someone goes out of his way for you. Not noticing when someone shows they care. It's the little things that are important. Like saying hello and good-bye warmly and meaning it. Kissing goodnight. Trying to be friendly. Smiling and laughing together. Taking the time to ask, "How was your day?" Listening to the reply. And enjoying the good feeling of knowing That someone else wants to listen to what you have to say. Having a place you can go to be accepted. And have that be in your own home.
I was in a bookstore recently when I overheard a man ask a clerk for an introductory computer book written on a children's level. The clerk asked the man, "How old is the child?" The man replied, "I'm 51."
Accident-Report.com has reports on military aviation accidents dating back to 1918. You can search by crew member, location of accident or by airplane. You can also purchase accident reports and photos.