Some years ago, my wife and I were at this couples party at church, and they played a game that is sort of like that old TV show, "Let's Make a Deal." Everybody brought some "white elephant" gifts - something you really wanted to get rid of. Of course, all these castaway gifts were nicely wrapped so no one knew what was inside. Then one person has to go to the gift pile, pick one, and they open it. From that point on, each person has a choice: take one of those unopened treasures, or give one of those unopened gifts in exchange for something that's already been opened - something that you know you want. Now, at this particular party, there was one particular object - this hand-carved lamp stand - that everybody wanted. It was one of the few things of value. And it didn't matter what lengths a person went to in order to conceal that lamp stand, the next trader inevitably would remember where it was and they'd go for it. Actually, the dealing got very animated, and in fact, almost dangerous at times. Every - body was up for grabs, except for one person - the woman who had opened the first gift. See, she remembered the rules of the game - that since the first person didn't get to make a trade, they get to make the last trade of the game. Through all the turmoil, she knew who was going home with that lamp stand!
An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead."
Hi Howdy! First of all, I think that you jokes are very funny, but you need to ease up on UNC. I'm sorry if you had personal issues with some of them, but it is not very nice of you to try so hard to create a bad name for somebody with a decent one. As a person that you represent yourself as, that is, as somebody very religious, you yourself are doing something that our Father wouldn't be too proud of, aren't you now?
Dear A.J., Don't you think it's O.K. to have a sense of humor & what better target than a big University. Everyone makes fun of the opposing team & it's all in good fun. We actually have a bunch of UNC readers!!!
And I think that it is wonderful that you are pro-life. But aren't you a male? And if so, why not add something to your e-mails that would represent most of women's outlooks on this issue, and then let your readers choose for themselves, instead of feeling force to choose pro-life vs. pro-choice.
Why do you think that 'Howdy' is male? His/her identity has been carefully hidden so that gender, age, marital status, economic level, etc. have been carefully screened. That way - ideas can best be discussed without prejudice.
I might mention that you have irritated our female advisors by assuming that a majority of ladies are not pro-life. Take a poll yourself & ask all your female friends if they feel it's wrong to terminate the life of a baby just because he/she hasn't been born yet? Ask if that 'MOM' will regret each year for the rest of her life around the time that would have been the child's birthday. Ask if they wonder whether the child might have grown up to be a great blessing to them & all - perhaps discovering a cure for AIDS or saving a tree from the evil gasp of a major American corporation. Thanks for adding this letter to your next group e-mail, and I hope that you think about things deeper then how to gain as many people by "ripping" on someone that doesn't deserve it, and maybe by even trying to sell yourself as a religious one? I really hope that I didn't offend you, because that's the last thing that I want to do. I am just curious and somewhat disagreeing.
I'll bet you are the nicest person at Davidson & our humor is meant to be in fun. I've never had even one UNC student/grad complain because they switch the jokes around & use them on Duke & State students. You can do the same with Queen's College (where my sister attended)...
Your friend, Howdy Thanks again! AJ (Davidson College)
Joseph Smith, Jr., the acknowledged founder of Mormonism, engaged in many unbiblical practices, something many Mormon apologists would deny. Mormon historian D. Michael Quinn's 1987 book, "Early Mormonism and the Magic World View," convincingly demonstrated that Smith's involvement with the occult was undeniable. Quinn is a former professor at the Mormon Church-owned Brigham Young University. He was excommunicated in 1993 on the charge of apostasy. This charge was based on the evidence of his historical writings exposing the "prophet." Instead of trying to deny Joseph Smith's repeated involvement with occultic activities, Quinn presented the evidence, which showed that Smith used seer stones, divining rods, amulets, incantations, and participated in rituals to summon spirits--all practices forbidden in the pages of Scripture. Quinn believes that Smith could reliably be called a "first class" magician. In spite of everything, Quinn remains a faithful Mormon and still believes that Mormonism's founder was a man of God who used his magical skills and tools to communicate with the Almighty God of this universe! Quinn says he "remains a DNA Mormon." (Quinn, "Early Mormonism and the Magic World View," Signature Books; Revised edition, December 1998)