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...By Dr. Howdy
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Friday
What We Can Learn From The Marines
.
Dunham, a corporal from upstate New York, was leading
a squad of Marines in Iraq when they were ambushed by
insurgents. During the hand-to-hand combat, Dunham leapt
to place his helmet over a live grenade. Dunham's bravery
saved his friends—and cost him his life.
Why did he do it? To save the men serving under him. It was
true heroic altruism—the one thing that Darwinian theories of
natural selection can never account for. But would you or I be
prepared to show what Jesus called no greater love? Would we
lay down our lives for our Christian brothers?
MORE!!!
Dunham, a corporal from upstate New York, was leading
a squad of Marines in Iraq when they were ambushed by
insurgents. During the hand-to-hand combat, Dunham leapt
to place his helmet over a live grenade. Dunham's bravery
saved his friends—and cost him his life.
Why did he do it? To save the men serving under him. It was
true heroic altruism—the one thing that Darwinian theories of
natural selection can never account for. But would you or I be
prepared to show what Jesus called no greater love? Would we
lay down our lives for our Christian brothers?
MORE!!!
Comments:
Dear Howdy,
Thank you for your simply addicting newsletter...it's truly a candidate
for the 8th wonder of the world and 1st candidate for the cyber-world...
it just keeps blooming with more of what I need and, I think, what we
all need...please keep up the great works!!!
Type atcha later...
God bless you,
Phil H
WI
===============
Dear Howdy, Indeed I am a faithful Tarheel*, having both
MA and Ph.D. from their fine chemistry department.
But that doesn't keep me from getting a great kick out
of the humor propagated by what appears to me to be
a pack of wolves!!**
SERIOUSLY, THE HUMOR IS GREAT FUN BUT MY
MAIN ATTRACTION WAS TO THE CONSERVATIVE
MORAL AND POLITICAL STANCE THAT SEEMED
TO CHARACTERIZE THE FIRST ISSUE I SAW.
INCIDENTALLY (HE SAYS ACCIDENTALLY!), it was
sent to me by a friend, so I really didn't "hear about
you" at all, and still haven't. All I know is what has
come in the two issues of the Newsletter I have
seen. The best to you.
S. P.
*Another name for UNC.
** UNC's archrival - NCSU.
===============
Recommended by Prof Howdy for improving your life:
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
{Double click this link or copy and paste this link into your Web Browser's address line
for more info - Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor' in any way - but should be}
===============
Board of Advisors for 'Thought & Humor':
Did you know that 'Thought & Humor' has a distinguished Board of Advisors
that are designed to be a cross section demographically of our readership as far
as age, location, gender, marital status, education & occupation are concerned???
Bill - 50's - FL - Computer Operator for 911 System, V.P. - Archives
Brenda - 50's - TX - University Administor, Married
Caroline - 20's - FL - Married, University Student
David - 50's - NJ - Businessman, Married
Doug - 50's - TN - President of 501(c)(3) Corp, Married
Ellen - 20's - NJ - University Student
Emily - 30's - TN - Banker, Married
Janet - 40's - MI - Married, Former Missionary to Arab Country
Jerry - 80's - CA - Retired Theology Professor, Lobbyist, Author
Jill - 50's - MN - Restaurant Owner, Married
Jim - 40's - NM - Businessman, Married
John - 50's - Peru - Pastor, Married
Katie - 20's - NC - Teacher, Married to UNC Med Student
Laura - 30's - NY - English Teacher
Lisa - 40's - TN - Secretary, Married
Marie - 60's - South Africa - Entrepreneur, Politician
Mamie - 20's - GA - Elementary Teacher
Milton - 19 - GA - College Student
Phil - 50's WI - Handicapped
Rob - 20's - NY - University Administor, Married
Ruth - 50's - CA - Real Estate, Involved in Spanish Ministry
Sarah - 20's - NC - UNC Student, Married
Shirl - 60's - CO - Finance Manager - Married to Minister
Steve - 40's - TX - Married, Computer Hardware Design
Wanda - 40's - Asia - Married - Communist Country
Advisory meetings are held weekly via the internet
and none receive monetary/pecuniary compensation
for their extensive/capacious/voluminous expertise.
===============
Bible - God's Word to you in different languages...
Click Here
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')
===============
"I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to man.
All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to
us through this book." -- President Abraham Lincoln
"For we must consider that we shall be as a City upon a hill.
The eyes of all people are upon us. So that if we shall deal
falsely with our God in this work we have undertaken, and
so cause Him to withdraw his present help from us, we
shall be made a story and a byword throughout the world."
--John Winthrop, Governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, 1630
"It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and
the Bible." - President George Washington
"The Bible is no mere book, but a Living Creature, with a
power that conquers all that oppose it." - Napoleon
"That Book accounts for the supremacy of England."
- Queen Victoria
"If there is anything in my thought or style to commend ,
the credit is due my parents for instilling in me an early
love of the Scriptures. If we abide by the principals taught
in the Bible, our country will go on prospering and to prosper;
but if we and our posterity neglect its instructions and authority,
no man can tell how sudden a catastrophe may overwhelm us and
bury all our glory in profound obscurity." - Daniel Webster (Founding Father)
"The Bible is worth all other books which have ever been printed."
- Patrick Henry (original member of the Continental Congress)
"The Bible is the anchor of our liberties." - President U.S. Grant
"It is impossible to enslave mentally or socially a Bible-reading people.
The principals of the Bible are the groundwork of human freedom."
- Horace Greeley (Editor)
"That Book is the rock on which our Republic rests." - President Andrew Jackson
"In all my perplexities and distresses, the Bible has never failed to give me
light and strength." - Gen. Robert E. Lee
"Bible reading is an education in itself." - Lord Tennyson (Poet)
"So great is my veneration for the Bible that the earlier my children begin
to read it the more confident will be my hope that they will prove useful
citizens of their country and respectable members of society. I have for
many years made it a practice to read through the Bible once every year."
- President John Quincy Adams
"The existence of the Bible, as a Book for the people, is the greatest
benefit which the human race has ever experienced. Every attempt to
belittle it is a crime against humanity." - Immanuel Kant (Philosopher)
"The New Testament is the very best Book that ever or ever will be
known in the world." - Charles Dickens (Author)
"All human discoveries seem to be made only for the purpose of
confirming more and more strongly the truths contained in the
Sacred Scriptures." - Sir William Herschel (Astronomer)
"There are more sure marks of authenticity in the Bible than in
any profane history." - Sir Isaac Newton (Scientist)
"Let mental culture go on advancing, let the natural sciences
progress in even greater extent and depth, and the human
mind widen itself as much as it desires; beyond the elevation
and moral culture of Christianity, as it shines forth in the Gospels,
it will not go." - Goethe (Author)
"I have known ninety-five of the world's great men in my time,
and of these eight-seven were followers of the Bible. The Bible
is stamped with a Specialty of Origin, and an immeasurable
distance separates it from all competitors."
- W.E. Gladstone (Prime Minister)
"Whatever merit there is in anything that I have written is simply
due to the fact that when I was a chile my mother daily read me
a part of the Bible and daily made me learn a part of it by heart."
- John Ruskin (art critic and social commentator)
"The Bible has been the Magna Charta of the poor and oppressed.
The human race is not in a position to dispense with it." - Thomas
Huxley (Author & Scientist)
"The whole hope of human progress is suspended on the ever
growing influence of the Bible." - W.H. Seward (Secretary of State)
"America was born a Christian nation. America was born
to exemplify that devotion to the elements of righteousness,
which are derived from the revelations of Holy Scriptures.
Part of the destiny of Americans lies in their daily perusal
of this great book of revelations. That if they would see
America free and pure they will make their own spirits
free and pure by this baptism of the Holy Spirit."
--President Woodrow Wilson
For Christians, the life and death of Jesus are the ultimate
expressions of love, and the supreme demonstrations of
God's mercy, faithfulness, and redemption. Since Christ's
miraculous Resurrection on Easter, more than 2,000 years
ago, Christians have expressed joy and gratitude for this
wondrous sacrifice and for God's promise of freedom for
the oppressed, healing for the brokenhearted, and salvation.
--President George W. Bush
"It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this
great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians;
not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ. For this
very reason peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum,
prosperity, and freedom of worship here."
--Patrick Henry (original member of the Continental Congress)
.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
<< Home
Churchcasting Kills Community
by Drew Dyck
"I've stopped going to church."
The statement took me by surprise; especially since it came from a friend who had been a longtime member of his local congregation. It had been years since we talked and my curiosity was piqued. As he described his new churchless existence, I wondered what was behind his drastic decision. Was he just being lazy? Or was he losing his faith?
According to him, it was neither. He was still a Christian, he assured me. But he had traded church for a different spiritual experience, one that came from a combination of books, Bible Studies on CD, and mostly, the Internet.
At first I found it tough to argue with his new mode of spirituality. As he pointed out, going it alone had some major advantages to the conventional Sunday service. His pastor's sermons had always been a little short on substance. But now he had his choice of the best pod casting preachers in the world! Then there were all the problems at church: hypocrisy, infighting, gossip — you name it. Online, he could avoid all the flaws and foibles of church life. And of course there was the convenience that the internet affords. He was able to read devotionals, listen to speakers and sing along to the best praise music at any time, all in coziness of his own bedroom. With all that at your fingertips, why struggle out of bed early every Sunday?
Though I was concerned by his choice, I was hardly in a position to point the finger. After moving to a new city, I hadn't exactly been Mr. Consistent when it came to church either. Wearied by the search for a new congregation, I ended up slapping the snooze on more than one Sunday morning. During the week, if someone asked where I had gone I'd smile sheepishly and reply, "Bedside Baptist."
Like my friend I was supplementing my sporadic church attendance with an increased diet of online resources. Yet unlike him, I didn't feel liberated. I was craving the unique fellowship of God's people that no podcast or webzine could provide. My friend seemed happy. But was he right to forego church?
A recent study by the Barna Research Group shows that he is not alone. An increasing number of Americans are getting their spirituality online. Right now "godcasting" (religious and spiritually themed podcasts) and Christian "vidcasts" are the hottest tools on the net. The study found that 8 percent of adults and 12 percent of teenagers "use the Internet for religious or spiritual experiences." Though only a small percentage currently report using the Internet as a replacement for church, that number is rising dramatically. The future forecast is startling: Barna projects that within a decade some 50 million people could rely on the internet as their sole source of faith experience.
George Barna concludes, "By the end of the decade we will have in excess of ten percent of our population who rely upon the Internet for their entire spiritual experience. Some of them will be individuals who have not had a connection with a faith community, but millions of others will be people who drop out of the physical church in favor of the cyberchurch." This "cyberchurch" phenomenon will have the greatest impact on people under 35 — a group that the study reported was more likely than others to seek spiritual fulfillment on the web.
In a way this trend is heartening. Since the advent of the Internet, we live in a world where everything is just a mouse click away — and many of the things are destructive. For all the Internet offers, pornography and gambling sites still tend to get the most traffic. But a florescence of online spirituality could reverse that pattern, making the Internet a place to find God, rather than gratify base desires.
And for Christians the outreach potential is unlimited. Indeed many churches, particularly those who minister to a younger demographic, have brought seekers through their doors through savvy use of the web. Christian content online can also complement what goes on on Sunday morning by providing believers with inspiration and encouragement throughout the week. Hey, right now you're taking advantage of one of the best Christian resources on the worldwide web — Boundless.org!
But still, when my friend told me he was using online tools to the exclusion of attending church my gut level reaction was one of sadness. And I think I know why. There's nothing wrong with enriching your spiritual life online. However, when such resources take the place of going to church, there's a problem.
Actually, I can think of three.
First, cyberchurch threatens community. Yes, God uses computers as well as sanctuaries, but He also works in our lives through our relationship with others — and it is tough to foster meaningful relationships via fiber optics or wireless connections alone. Every generation faces new challenges to living out the gospel. In our time some of those challenges have come in the form of technologies that promise to bring us closer while actually demonstrating a tendency to drive us apart. The Internet can be a tool for great good, but when it disrupts Christian community it strikes at the very core of what we're about. Ours is an intimate and ancient faith, one birthed in community and carried to the world by sandaled feet. Meeting regularly isn't about honoring a church building or dull tradition; it is integral to our identity as the people of God.
OK, "community" is kind of a buzz word these days, so that might be an easy point to accept. But my second reason for rejecting an exclusively online spirituality hinges on a word that's much less popular: commitment. For westerners cyberchurch serves up an intoxicating elixir of individualism and autonomy. Part of my friend's attraction to doing church online was that he was in control. He could sidestep the inevitable messiness of interacting with fallible people. And he didn't have to deal with anyone critiquing him. Instead he was free to anonymously peruse whatever expressions of faith suited his fancy. And he was accountable to no one. There was no commitment, no one to question him, to pull him up short and confront him when he erred. But in avoiding these aspects of church life, he was missing out on some of the most important parts of being a Christian.
Living the Christian life is hard. Paul wasn't kidding when he chided 1st century believers for their habit of "forsaking the assembling of ourselves together" (Hebrews 10:25). He knew that they needed accountability and connections if they were going to remain faithful to Christ. cyberchurching ignores such imperatives, opting for a cowboy Christianity, instead of embracing the biblical model of personal humility and interdependence.
A third reason for attending church involves our witness to the outside world. The Church provides a haven for the increasing number of lonely people in our society. We have a responsibility to show them the love and closeness that can exist among the followers of Christ. In a restless and fragmented age, dominated by the ubiquitous presence of impersonal technology, we are called to be the proprietors of human warmth and divine rest. We must show the world that there truly is a last bastion of fellowship, a place where people still find God's love in each other's lives. And you can't download that.
Click Here
.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
by Drew Dyck
"I've stopped going to church."
The statement took me by surprise; especially since it came from a friend who had been a longtime member of his local congregation. It had been years since we talked and my curiosity was piqued. As he described his new churchless existence, I wondered what was behind his drastic decision. Was he just being lazy? Or was he losing his faith?
According to him, it was neither. He was still a Christian, he assured me. But he had traded church for a different spiritual experience, one that came from a combination of books, Bible Studies on CD, and mostly, the Internet.
At first I found it tough to argue with his new mode of spirituality. As he pointed out, going it alone had some major advantages to the conventional Sunday service. His pastor's sermons had always been a little short on substance. But now he had his choice of the best pod casting preachers in the world! Then there were all the problems at church: hypocrisy, infighting, gossip — you name it. Online, he could avoid all the flaws and foibles of church life. And of course there was the convenience that the internet affords. He was able to read devotionals, listen to speakers and sing along to the best praise music at any time, all in coziness of his own bedroom. With all that at your fingertips, why struggle out of bed early every Sunday?
Though I was concerned by his choice, I was hardly in a position to point the finger. After moving to a new city, I hadn't exactly been Mr. Consistent when it came to church either. Wearied by the search for a new congregation, I ended up slapping the snooze on more than one Sunday morning. During the week, if someone asked where I had gone I'd smile sheepishly and reply, "Bedside Baptist."
Like my friend I was supplementing my sporadic church attendance with an increased diet of online resources. Yet unlike him, I didn't feel liberated. I was craving the unique fellowship of God's people that no podcast or webzine could provide. My friend seemed happy. But was he right to forego church?
A recent study by the Barna Research Group shows that he is not alone. An increasing number of Americans are getting their spirituality online. Right now "godcasting" (religious and spiritually themed podcasts) and Christian "vidcasts" are the hottest tools on the net. The study found that 8 percent of adults and 12 percent of teenagers "use the Internet for religious or spiritual experiences." Though only a small percentage currently report using the Internet as a replacement for church, that number is rising dramatically. The future forecast is startling: Barna projects that within a decade some 50 million people could rely on the internet as their sole source of faith experience.
George Barna concludes, "By the end of the decade we will have in excess of ten percent of our population who rely upon the Internet for their entire spiritual experience. Some of them will be individuals who have not had a connection with a faith community, but millions of others will be people who drop out of the physical church in favor of the cyberchurch." This "cyberchurch" phenomenon will have the greatest impact on people under 35 — a group that the study reported was more likely than others to seek spiritual fulfillment on the web.
In a way this trend is heartening. Since the advent of the Internet, we live in a world where everything is just a mouse click away — and many of the things are destructive. For all the Internet offers, pornography and gambling sites still tend to get the most traffic. But a florescence of online spirituality could reverse that pattern, making the Internet a place to find God, rather than gratify base desires.
And for Christians the outreach potential is unlimited. Indeed many churches, particularly those who minister to a younger demographic, have brought seekers through their doors through savvy use of the web. Christian content online can also complement what goes on on Sunday morning by providing believers with inspiration and encouragement throughout the week. Hey, right now you're taking advantage of one of the best Christian resources on the worldwide web — Boundless.org!
But still, when my friend told me he was using online tools to the exclusion of attending church my gut level reaction was one of sadness. And I think I know why. There's nothing wrong with enriching your spiritual life online. However, when such resources take the place of going to church, there's a problem.
Actually, I can think of three.
First, cyberchurch threatens community. Yes, God uses computers as well as sanctuaries, but He also works in our lives through our relationship with others — and it is tough to foster meaningful relationships via fiber optics or wireless connections alone. Every generation faces new challenges to living out the gospel. In our time some of those challenges have come in the form of technologies that promise to bring us closer while actually demonstrating a tendency to drive us apart. The Internet can be a tool for great good, but when it disrupts Christian community it strikes at the very core of what we're about. Ours is an intimate and ancient faith, one birthed in community and carried to the world by sandaled feet. Meeting regularly isn't about honoring a church building or dull tradition; it is integral to our identity as the people of God.
OK, "community" is kind of a buzz word these days, so that might be an easy point to accept. But my second reason for rejecting an exclusively online spirituality hinges on a word that's much less popular: commitment. For westerners cyberchurch serves up an intoxicating elixir of individualism and autonomy. Part of my friend's attraction to doing church online was that he was in control. He could sidestep the inevitable messiness of interacting with fallible people. And he didn't have to deal with anyone critiquing him. Instead he was free to anonymously peruse whatever expressions of faith suited his fancy. And he was accountable to no one. There was no commitment, no one to question him, to pull him up short and confront him when he erred. But in avoiding these aspects of church life, he was missing out on some of the most important parts of being a Christian.
Living the Christian life is hard. Paul wasn't kidding when he chided 1st century believers for their habit of "forsaking the assembling of ourselves together" (Hebrews 10:25). He knew that they needed accountability and connections if they were going to remain faithful to Christ. cyberchurching ignores such imperatives, opting for a cowboy Christianity, instead of embracing the biblical model of personal humility and interdependence.
A third reason for attending church involves our witness to the outside world. The Church provides a haven for the increasing number of lonely people in our society. We have a responsibility to show them the love and closeness that can exist among the followers of Christ. In a restless and fragmented age, dominated by the ubiquitous presence of impersonal technology, we are called to be the proprietors of human warmth and divine rest. We must show the world that there truly is a last bastion of fellowship, a place where people still find God's love in each other's lives. And you can't download that.
Click Here
.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
Dear Howdy,
Thank you for your simply addicting newsletter...it's truly a candidate
for the 8th wonder of the world and 1st candidate for the cyber-world...
it just keeps blooming with more of what I need and, I think, what we
all need...please keep up the great works!!!
Type atcha later...
God bless you,
Phil H
WI
===============
Dear Howdy, Indeed I am a faithful Tarheel*, having both
MA and Ph.D. from their fine chemistry department.
But that doesn't keep me from getting a great kick out
of the humor propagated by what appears to me to be
a pack of wolves!!**
SERIOUSLY, THE HUMOR IS GREAT FUN BUT MY
MAIN ATTRACTION WAS TO THE CONSERVATIVE
MORAL AND POLITICAL STANCE THAT SEEMED
TO CHARACTERIZE THE FIRST ISSUE I SAW.
INCIDENTALLY (HE SAYS ACCIDENTALLY!), it was
sent to me by a friend, so I really didn't "hear about
you" at all, and still haven't. All I know is what has
come in the two issues of the Newsletter I have
seen. The best to you.
S. P.
*Another name for UNC.
** UNC's archrival - NCSU.
===============
Recommended by Prof Howdy for improving your life:
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
{Double click this link or copy and paste this link into your Web Browser's address line
for more info - Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor' in any way - but should be}
===============
Board of Advisors for 'Thought & Humor':
Did you know that 'Thought & Humor' has a distinguished Board of Advisors
that are designed to be a cross section demographically of our readership as far
as age, location, gender, marital status, education & occupation are concerned???
Bill - 50's - FL - Computer Operator for 911 System, V.P. - Archives
Brenda - 50's - TX - University Administor, Married
Caroline - 20's - FL - Married, University Student
David - 50's - NJ - Businessman, Married
Doug - 50's - TN - President of 501(c)(3) Corp, Married
Ellen - 20's - NJ - University Student
Emily - 30's - TN - Banker, Married
Janet - 40's - MI - Married, Former Missionary to Arab Country
Jerry - 80's - CA - Retired Theology Professor, Lobbyist, Author
Jill - 50's - MN - Restaurant Owner, Married
Jim - 40's - NM - Businessman, Married
John - 50's - Peru - Pastor, Married
Katie - 20's - NC - Teacher, Married to UNC Med Student
Laura - 30's - NY - English Teacher
Lisa - 40's - TN - Secretary, Married
Marie - 60's - South Africa - Entrepreneur, Politician
Mamie - 20's - GA - Elementary Teacher
Milton - 19 - GA - College Student
Phil - 50's WI - Handicapped
Rob - 20's - NY - University Administor, Married
Ruth - 50's - CA - Real Estate, Involved in Spanish Ministry
Sarah - 20's - NC - UNC Student, Married
Shirl - 60's - CO - Finance Manager - Married to Minister
Steve - 40's - TX - Married, Computer Hardware Design
Wanda - 40's - Asia - Married - Communist Country
Advisory meetings are held weekly via the internet
and none receive monetary/pecuniary compensation
for their extensive/capacious/voluminous expertise.
===============
Bible - God's Word to you in different languages...
Click Here
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')
===============
"I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to man.
All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to
us through this book." -- President Abraham Lincoln
"For we must consider that we shall be as a City upon a hill.
The eyes of all people are upon us. So that if we shall deal
falsely with our God in this work we have undertaken, and
so cause Him to withdraw his present help from us, we
shall be made a story and a byword throughout the world."
--John Winthrop, Governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, 1630
"It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and
the Bible." - President George Washington
"The Bible is no mere book, but a Living Creature, with a
power that conquers all that oppose it." - Napoleon
"That Book accounts for the supremacy of England."
- Queen Victoria
"If there is anything in my thought or style to commend ,
the credit is due my parents for instilling in me an early
love of the Scriptures. If we abide by the principals taught
in the Bible, our country will go on prospering and to prosper;
but if we and our posterity neglect its instructions and authority,
no man can tell how sudden a catastrophe may overwhelm us and
bury all our glory in profound obscurity." - Daniel Webster (Founding Father)
"The Bible is worth all other books which have ever been printed."
- Patrick Henry (original member of the Continental Congress)
"The Bible is the anchor of our liberties." - President U.S. Grant
"It is impossible to enslave mentally or socially a Bible-reading people.
The principals of the Bible are the groundwork of human freedom."
- Horace Greeley (Editor)
"That Book is the rock on which our Republic rests." - President Andrew Jackson
"In all my perplexities and distresses, the Bible has never failed to give me
light and strength." - Gen. Robert E. Lee
"Bible reading is an education in itself." - Lord Tennyson (Poet)
"So great is my veneration for the Bible that the earlier my children begin
to read it the more confident will be my hope that they will prove useful
citizens of their country and respectable members of society. I have for
many years made it a practice to read through the Bible once every year."
- President John Quincy Adams
"The existence of the Bible, as a Book for the people, is the greatest
benefit which the human race has ever experienced. Every attempt to
belittle it is a crime against humanity." - Immanuel Kant (Philosopher)
"The New Testament is the very best Book that ever or ever will be
known in the world." - Charles Dickens (Author)
"All human discoveries seem to be made only for the purpose of
confirming more and more strongly the truths contained in the
Sacred Scriptures." - Sir William Herschel (Astronomer)
"There are more sure marks of authenticity in the Bible than in
any profane history." - Sir Isaac Newton (Scientist)
"Let mental culture go on advancing, let the natural sciences
progress in even greater extent and depth, and the human
mind widen itself as much as it desires; beyond the elevation
and moral culture of Christianity, as it shines forth in the Gospels,
it will not go." - Goethe (Author)
"I have known ninety-five of the world's great men in my time,
and of these eight-seven were followers of the Bible. The Bible
is stamped with a Specialty of Origin, and an immeasurable
distance separates it from all competitors."
- W.E. Gladstone (Prime Minister)
"Whatever merit there is in anything that I have written is simply
due to the fact that when I was a chile my mother daily read me
a part of the Bible and daily made me learn a part of it by heart."
- John Ruskin (art critic and social commentator)
"The Bible has been the Magna Charta of the poor and oppressed.
The human race is not in a position to dispense with it." - Thomas
Huxley (Author & Scientist)
"The whole hope of human progress is suspended on the ever
growing influence of the Bible." - W.H. Seward (Secretary of State)
"America was born a Christian nation. America was born
to exemplify that devotion to the elements of righteousness,
which are derived from the revelations of Holy Scriptures.
Part of the destiny of Americans lies in their daily perusal
of this great book of revelations. That if they would see
America free and pure they will make their own spirits
free and pure by this baptism of the Holy Spirit."
--President Woodrow Wilson
For Christians, the life and death of Jesus are the ultimate
expressions of love, and the supreme demonstrations of
God's mercy, faithfulness, and redemption. Since Christ's
miraculous Resurrection on Easter, more than 2,000 years
ago, Christians have expressed joy and gratitude for this
wondrous sacrifice and for God's promise of freedom for
the oppressed, healing for the brokenhearted, and salvation.
--President George W. Bush
"It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this
great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians;
not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ. For this
very reason peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum,
prosperity, and freedom of worship here."
--Patrick Henry (original member of the Continental Congress)
.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
Dr. WhoAmI,
It's amazing how ordinary folks often rise beyond their self to heroic acts of courage, often risking their lives.
That's a calling from within that you can't refuse to listen.
I bow my head with great respect to the American hero described here. And to all the others who do it unknown.
Regards,
Indian Yogi
.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
It's amazing how ordinary folks often rise beyond their self to heroic acts of courage, often risking their lives.
That's a calling from within that you can't refuse to listen.
I bow my head with great respect to the American hero described here. And to all the others who do it unknown.
Regards,
Indian Yogi
.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
.
Read what you have time for below
& save the residuum for a stormy/
blustery/dilatory interval while
the charming/exquisite/vernal/
aestival season is bursting out all
over. Our goal is to promote a non-
threatening and productive office
& university environment and to
establish language that is gender-
neutral, ethnic-neutral, and age-
neutral while celebrating our spirit
of diversity.
Write me sometime:
Click Here
===============
***WARNING***WARNING***WARNING***WARNING***
This material is not suitable for those who are deficient in humor
or thought challenged!!! Do not read any further - you have been
warned. Preconceived ideas and biases could be endangered.
A unique blend of the jocular with provocative rumination is just
ahead for your divertissement!?!
===============
Undoubtedly America’s fastest growing sensation online,
'Thought & Humor' has arrived after winding its way
through the Internet’s highways and byways to your e-mail
address. We welcome all our great readers to another unique
blend of the jocular with provocative rumination for your
weekly entertainment - usually platitudinous & bromidic
but never nefarious, prurient, besmeared, or perfidious
and delivered gratis to offices, homes & dorms ubiquitously....
Write me sometime:
Click Here
===============
*UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill.
Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including:
B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), A.P.E., N.U.T., B.R.C.
(Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898
for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were
unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher
learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State.
===============
Why Am I Here:
Click Here
===============
'Thought & Humor' has been read in all 50 States,
all 230 Countries, 7 Continents, Oxford, Cambridge,
every Ivy League School & all major American
Universities including UNC!!!
Write me sometime:
Click Here
===============
To find out how you can begin a personal relationship
with Jesus Christ, please call:
1-888-NEED HIM.
===============
Please forward this newspaper to your colleagues,
friends, and family, and let them know they can
subscribe by sending an e-mail to:
harvard_humor_club-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
===============
Join the jollity by sending an e-mail to:
harvard_humor_club-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
(Place "SUBSCRIBE" in the subject).
(Open To ALL - Even Your Roommate/mom/friend/professor)
You may subscribe ANY friend/family you wish to beguile/regale.
They will be sent a confirmation warning them that smiles are in their future.
(You may remain anonymous if you wish.)
===============
Your very own library
Click Here
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')
===============
Howdy says: "FORWARD TO FRIENDS & YOUR MAMA!"
First Published In Last Century - July 26,1997
Thought For The OPEN Mind - Humor From American Culture
===============
If you stop believing what your professor told you had to be true
and if you start thinking for yourself you may come to some
conclusions you hadn't expected. You may find the Bible makes
more sense than you thought or were told to think. Allow yourself
to be ruined, ruined with regard to what you always thought could
be true. Can you believe what you don't understand? You and I
believe everyday what we don't understand unless it comes to
the issue of salvation. - - - Dr. Woodrow Kroll
===============
There is simply no historic foundation for the position that the
Framers intended to build the 'wall of separation' that was
constitutionalized in Everson. The 'wall of separation be-
tween church and state' is a metaphor based on bad history,
a metaphor which has proved useless as a guide to judging.
It should be frankly and explicitly abandoned.
- - - Chief Justice of the US Supreme Court, William Rehnquist
===============
In 1796 the US Supreme Court issued this ruling, "By our form
of government, the Christian religion is the established religion,
and all sects and denominations of Christians are placed on
equal footing." Some 57 years later, after Congress was
petitioned to separate Christian principles from government,
in 1853 the House Judiciary Committee issued their formal
report, including these words: "In this age there is no substitute
for Christianity. This was the religion of the founders of the republic,
and they expected it to be the religion of their dependents. The
great vital, conservative elements in our system is the belief of
our people in the pure doctrines and divine truths of the gospel
of Jesus Christ." - - - Dr. Gerald Beavan
===============
"It is the duty of nations, as well as of men, to own
their dependence upon the overruling power of God
and to recognize the sublime truth announced in the
Holy Scriptures and proven by all history, that those
nations only are blessed whose God is the Lord."
-- President Abraham Lincoln
===============
Trust in yourself and you are doomed to disappointment;
trust in money and you may have it taken from you;
but trust in God, and you are never to be confounded in
time or eternity. - D.L. Moody
===============
Faith and love are apt to be spasmodic in the best of minds.
Men and women live on the brink of mysteries and harmonies
into which they never enter and with their hand on the doorlatch
they die outside. GK Chesterton
===============
Address Change
Don't be without 'Thought & Humor' this electrifying autumn season
should your address (college students, military, rich people, etc.)
change. Subscribe your new address:
harvard_humor_club-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
It's hard to impress the opposite sex without 'Thought & Humor'
combined with moonlight, candlelight dinners, ocean breezes,
and Howdy...
===============
Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought
& Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
of your choice from the list below:
1) French university students
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring
to NCSU, JSU, MSU, USC, UGA, or FSU.
===============
"How to Be Sure You're
a REAL Christian"
1-888-NEED-HIM
(24/7 - free call)
===============
Depressed, Troubled, Worried???
Big Problems???
Want to talk with a LIVE trained counselor???
Want to get REAL help???
(FREE - English/Spanish)
1-800-633-3446
Click Here
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')
===============
I am trying here to prevent anyone from saying the really
foolish thing that people often say about Him [Jesus Christ]:
"I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I
don't accept His claim to be God."
That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was
merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would
not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic --
on a level with a man who says he is a poached egg --
or else he would be the Devil of Hell.
You must make your choice. Either this Man was, and is,
the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse ....
You can shut Him up for fool, you can spit at Him and kill
Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him
Lord and God. But let us not come up with any patronizing
nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has
not left that option open to us. He did not intend to.
-- From Case for Christianity, by C.S. Lewis
===============
"Let every student be plainly instructed and earnestly pressed to consider
well the main end of his life and studies is to know God and Jesus Christ
which is eternal life (John 17:3)."
- - - The Laws and Statutes of Harvard College in 1643
"All scholars shall live religious, godly, and blameless lives according
to the rules of God's Word, diligently reading the Holy Scriptures, the
fountain of light and truth; and constantly attend upon all the duties
of religion, both in public and secret."
- - - Two central requirements in Yale College 1745 charter
===============
Muhammad or Jesus???
Click Here
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')
===============
Why The U.S.A. Is At War:
Click Here
Click Here
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')
===============
AMERICA ARCHIVED
Click Here
This government site offers access to historic documents.
View the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights.
===============
'Thought & Humor' - often polemical but
never tasteless/unrefined/uncouth/ribald.
===============
Please note: If you see a UNC student or liberal reading 'Thought & Humor',
please explain to them which is thought & which is humor. They usually get it backwards.......
===============
Who is Jesus?
Click Here
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')
===============
"Not being on the air, that's not important. But I'd like
to be in the newsroom helping set the agenda."
Retired CBS Anchorman Walter Cronkite
{Dear Walter, Fair news knows no agenda - Howdy}
===============
God designed humans to want to believe in something.
That's the image of God that is in us. But as G. K.
Chesterton famously put it, when we reject the God
of the Bible, we don't believe in nothing; we believe
in everything -- including Little Green Men.
- - Chuck Colson
===============
Dear Howdy,
Thank you for your simply addicting newsletter...it's truly a candidate
for the 8th wonder of the world and 1st candidate for the cyber-world...
it just keeps blooming with more of what I need and, I think, what we
all need...please keep up the great works!!!
Type atcha later...
God bless you,
Phil H
WI
===============
Dear Howdy, Indeed I am a faithful Tarheel*, having both
MA and Ph.D. from their fine chemistry department.
But that doesn't keep me from getting a great kick out
of the humor propagated by what appears to me to be
a pack of wolves!!**
SERIOUSLY, THE HUMOR IS GREAT FUN BUT MY
MAIN ATTRACTION WAS TO THE CONSERVATIVE
MORAL AND POLITICAL STANCE THAT SEEMED
TO CHARACTERIZE THE FIRST ISSUE I SAW.
INCIDENTALLY (HE SAYS ACCIDENTALLY!), it was
sent to me by a friend, so I really didn't "hear about
you" at all, and still haven't. All I know is what has
come in the two issues of the Newsletter I have
seen. The best to you.
S. P.
*Another name for UNC.
** UNC's archrival - NCSU.
===============
Recommended by Prof Howdy for improving your life:
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
{Double click this link or copy and paste this link into your Web Browser's address line
for more info - Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor' in any way - but should be}
===============
Board of Advisors for 'Thought & Humor':
Did you know that 'Thought & Humor' has a distinguished Board of Advisors
that are designed to be a cross section demographically of our readership as far
as age, location, gender, marital status, education & occupation are concerned???
Bill - 50's - FL - Computer Operator for 911 System, V.P. - Archives
Brenda - 50's - TX - University Administor, Married
Caroline - 20's - FL - Married, University Student
David - 50's - NJ - Businessman, Married
Doug - 50's - TN - President of 501(c)(3) Corp, Married
Ellen - 20's - NJ - University Student
Emily - 30's - TN - Banker, Married
Janet - 40's - MI - Married, Former Missionary to Arab Country
Jerry - 80's - CA - Retired Theology Professor, Lobbyist, Author
Jill - 50's - MN - Restaurant Owner, Married
Jim - 40's - NM - Businessman, Married
John - 50's - Peru - Pastor, Married
Katie - 20's - NC - Teacher, Married to UNC Med Student
Laura - 30's - NY - English Teacher
Lisa - 40's - TN - Secretary, Married
Marie - 60's - South Africa - Entrepreneur, Politician
Mamie - 20's - GA - Elementary Teacher
Milton - 19 - GA - College Student
Phil - 50's WI - Handicapped
Rob - 20's - NY - University Administor, Married
Ruth - 50's - CA - Real Estate, Involved in Spanish Ministry
Sarah - 20's - NC - UNC Student, Married
Shirl - 60's - CO - Finance Manager - Married to Minister
Steve - 40's - TX - Married, Computer Hardware Design
Wanda - 40's - Asia - Married - Communist Country
Advisory meetings are held weekly via the internet
and none receive monetary/pecuniary compensation
for their extensive/capacious/voluminous expertise.
===============
Bible - God's Word to you in different languages...
Click Here
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')
===============
"I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to man.
All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to
us through this book." -- President Abraham Lincoln
"For we must consider that we shall be as a City upon a hill.
The eyes of all people are upon us. So that if we shall deal
falsely with our God in this work we have undertaken, and
so cause Him to withdraw his present help from us, we
shall be made a story and a byword throughout the world."
--John Winthrop, Governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, 1630
"It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and
the Bible." - President George Washington
"The Bible is no mere book, but a Living Creature, with a
power that conquers all that oppose it." - Napoleon
"That Book accounts for the supremacy of England."
- Queen Victoria
"If there is anything in my thought or style to commend ,
the credit is due my parents for instilling in me an early
love of the Scriptures. If we abide by the principals taught
in the Bible, our country will go on prospering and to prosper;
but if we and our posterity neglect its instructions and authority,
no man can tell how sudden a catastrophe may overwhelm us and
bury all our glory in profound obscurity." - Daniel Webster (Founding Father)
"The Bible is worth all other books which have ever been printed."
- Patrick Henry (original member of the Continental Congress)
"The Bible is the anchor of our liberties." - President U.S. Grant
"It is impossible to enslave mentally or socially a Bible-reading people.
The principals of the Bible are the groundwork of human freedom."
- Horace Greeley (Editor)
"That Book is the rock on which our Republic rests." - President Andrew Jackson
"In all my perplexities and distresses, the Bible has never failed to give me
light and strength." - Gen. Robert E. Lee
"Bible reading is an education in itself." - Lord Tennyson (Poet)
"So great is my veneration for the Bible that the earlier my children begin
to read it the more confident will be my hope that they will prove useful
citizens of their country and respectable members of society. I have for
many years made it a practice to read through the Bible once every year."
- President John Quincy Adams
"The existence of the Bible, as a Book for the people, is the greatest
benefit which the human race has ever experienced. Every attempt to
belittle it is a crime against humanity." - Immanuel Kant (Philosopher)
"The New Testament is the very best Book that ever or ever will be
known in the world." - Charles Dickens (Author)
"All human discoveries seem to be made only for the purpose of
confirming more and more strongly the truths contained in the
Sacred Scriptures." - Sir William Herschel (Astronomer)
"There are more sure marks of authenticity in the Bible than in
any profane history." - Sir Isaac Newton (Scientist)
"Let mental culture go on advancing, let the natural sciences
progress in even greater extent and depth, and the human
mind widen itself as much as it desires; beyond the elevation
and moral culture of Christianity, as it shines forth in the Gospels,
it will not go." - Goethe (Author)
"I have known ninety-five of the world's great men in my time,
and of these eight-seven were followers of the Bible. The Bible
is stamped with a Specialty of Origin, and an immeasurable
distance separates it from all competitors."
- W.E. Gladstone (Prime Minister)
"Whatever merit there is in anything that I have written is simply
due to the fact that when I was a chile my mother daily read me
a part of the Bible and daily made me learn a part of it by heart."
- John Ruskin (art critic and social commentator)
"The Bible has been the Magna Charta of the poor and oppressed.
The human race is not in a position to dispense with it." - Thomas
Huxley (Author & Scientist)
"The whole hope of human progress is suspended on the ever
growing influence of the Bible." - W.H. Seward (Secretary of State)
"America was born a Christian nation. America was born
to exemplify that devotion to the elements of righteousness,
which are derived from the revelations of Holy Scriptures.
Part of the destiny of Americans lies in their daily perusal
of this great book of revelations. That if they would see
America free and pure they will make their own spirits
free and pure by this baptism of the Holy Spirit."
--President Woodrow Wilson
For Christians, the life and death of Jesus are the ultimate
expressions of love, and the supreme demonstrations of
God's mercy, faithfulness, and redemption. Since Christ's
miraculous Resurrection on Easter, more than 2,000 years
ago, Christians have expressed joy and gratitude for this
wondrous sacrifice and for God's promise of freedom for
the oppressed, healing for the brokenhearted, and salvation.
--President George W. Bush
"It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this
great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians;
not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ. For this
very reason peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum,
prosperity, and freedom of worship here."
--Patrick Henry (original member of the Continental Congress)
===============
Q: Why is 'Thought & Humor' so long?
A: All newspapers & magazines are long!
Q: What if I can't read all of it?
A: Delete it. Most folks don't read every word in every newspaper/magazine either?
Q: Am I required to memorize each article?
A: Nope! Delete what you don't have time for or save for another time.
Q: Is 'T & H' Spam?
A: No, it's made entirely of ham.
Q: Can I forward to friends & family?
A: Please do.
Q: How many people have had opportunity to read 'T & H' E-Mail Newspapers?
A: Well over 1 million + many forwards by you.
Q: Who is Howdy?
A: We let him think he's the boss...
===============
Take the best medicine of all for what ails you -- laughter:
"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon
without springs--jolted by every pebble in the road."
~Henry Ward Beecher
"Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects."
--Arnold Glasow
"Laughter is by definition healthy."
--Doris Lessing
"If somebody makes me laugh, I'm his slave for life."
--Bette Midler
"The human race has one really effective weapon,
and that is laughter."
--Mark Twain
"What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul."
-- Yiddish Proverb
"Laughter is an instant vacation."
-- Milton Berle
"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."
-- Victor Borge
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the
heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time
to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a
time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a
time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. (King Solomon)
NOTICE: The jokes published in this list were either submitted
directly to 'Thought & Humor' or are, we believe, in the public
domain. If you think that we have published a joke without
giving proper credit to its author/owner, please let us know
and we will provide appropriate credit in a future mailing.
===============
Four important things to KNOW:
1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus,
Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist,
Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned
& fall short of the glory of God.
2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal
separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at
no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is
Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ
(God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of
Peace & Savior of the World).
3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world
(Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist,
Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians,
Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up
His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone,
anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in,
relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall
have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven).
4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE.
No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic,
Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist,
Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives)
to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through)
ME (no other name).
This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - -
(Rev. 3:20)
{Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good
things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian -
however they are great afterwards!!!}
Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that
leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment),
and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow
the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness,
forever with God), and only a few find it. --Matthew 7:13-14
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The "E-Mail Newspaper" containing 'Thought & Humor'
is sent out FREE via e-mail w/o ads. This information
was sent to you because you made the request, 'Thought
& Humor' is one small attempt to obey "The Great* Com-
mission". First published in the last century (July 26, 1997).
Soli Deo Gloria...
________ "E-Mail Newspaper (Free4u)" _________
References gleaned for great humor & information: Merry Heart,
Thomas S. Elworth, Funny List, MeMail, Daily Dose, Joke of the Day,
Kim Komando, MIKEY'S FUNNIES , The Daily Tease, Crosswalk.com,
CLEAN LAFFS & Gophercentral.
Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.
'Thought & Humor' respects your privacy and wishes to honor
your desires to not receive e-mail from us if that's your choice,
and we apologize if any message causes any inconvenience
to you or your computer. We have never given any reader's
e-mail addresses to a third party & have no plans to do such
unless the price is right:o) (Liberals please note - that was
humor) The E-Mail Newspaper is sent to you with love.
But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16
.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
Post a Comment
Read what you have time for below
& save the residuum for a stormy/
blustery/dilatory interval while
the charming/exquisite/vernal/
aestival season is bursting out all
over. Our goal is to promote a non-
threatening and productive office
& university environment and to
establish language that is gender-
neutral, ethnic-neutral, and age-
neutral while celebrating our spirit
of diversity.
Write me sometime:
Click Here
===============
***WARNING***WARNING***WARNING***WARNING***
This material is not suitable for those who are deficient in humor
or thought challenged!!! Do not read any further - you have been
warned. Preconceived ideas and biases could be endangered.
A unique blend of the jocular with provocative rumination is just
ahead for your divertissement!?!
===============
Undoubtedly America’s fastest growing sensation online,
'Thought & Humor' has arrived after winding its way
through the Internet’s highways and byways to your e-mail
address. We welcome all our great readers to another unique
blend of the jocular with provocative rumination for your
weekly entertainment - usually platitudinous & bromidic
but never nefarious, prurient, besmeared, or perfidious
and delivered gratis to offices, homes & dorms ubiquitously....
Write me sometime:
Click Here
===============
*UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill.
Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including:
B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), A.P.E., N.U.T., B.R.C.
(Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898
for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were
unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher
learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State.
===============
Why Am I Here:
Click Here
===============
'Thought & Humor' has been read in all 50 States,
all 230 Countries, 7 Continents, Oxford, Cambridge,
every Ivy League School & all major American
Universities including UNC!!!
Write me sometime:
Click Here
===============
To find out how you can begin a personal relationship
with Jesus Christ, please call:
1-888-NEED HIM.
===============
Please forward this newspaper to your colleagues,
friends, and family, and let them know they can
subscribe by sending an e-mail to:
harvard_humor_club-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
===============
Join the jollity by sending an e-mail to:
harvard_humor_club-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
(Place "SUBSCRIBE" in the subject).
(Open To ALL - Even Your Roommate/mom/friend/professor)
You may subscribe ANY friend/family you wish to beguile/regale.
They will be sent a confirmation warning them that smiles are in their future.
(You may remain anonymous if you wish.)
===============
Your very own library
Click Here
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')
===============
Howdy says: "FORWARD TO FRIENDS & YOUR MAMA!"
First Published In Last Century - July 26,1997
Thought For The OPEN Mind - Humor From American Culture
===============
If you stop believing what your professor told you had to be true
and if you start thinking for yourself you may come to some
conclusions you hadn't expected. You may find the Bible makes
more sense than you thought or were told to think. Allow yourself
to be ruined, ruined with regard to what you always thought could
be true. Can you believe what you don't understand? You and I
believe everyday what we don't understand unless it comes to
the issue of salvation. - - - Dr. Woodrow Kroll
===============
There is simply no historic foundation for the position that the
Framers intended to build the 'wall of separation' that was
constitutionalized in Everson. The 'wall of separation be-
tween church and state' is a metaphor based on bad history,
a metaphor which has proved useless as a guide to judging.
It should be frankly and explicitly abandoned.
- - - Chief Justice of the US Supreme Court, William Rehnquist
===============
In 1796 the US Supreme Court issued this ruling, "By our form
of government, the Christian religion is the established religion,
and all sects and denominations of Christians are placed on
equal footing." Some 57 years later, after Congress was
petitioned to separate Christian principles from government,
in 1853 the House Judiciary Committee issued their formal
report, including these words: "In this age there is no substitute
for Christianity. This was the religion of the founders of the republic,
and they expected it to be the religion of their dependents. The
great vital, conservative elements in our system is the belief of
our people in the pure doctrines and divine truths of the gospel
of Jesus Christ." - - - Dr. Gerald Beavan
===============
"It is the duty of nations, as well as of men, to own
their dependence upon the overruling power of God
and to recognize the sublime truth announced in the
Holy Scriptures and proven by all history, that those
nations only are blessed whose God is the Lord."
-- President Abraham Lincoln
===============
Trust in yourself and you are doomed to disappointment;
trust in money and you may have it taken from you;
but trust in God, and you are never to be confounded in
time or eternity. - D.L. Moody
===============
Faith and love are apt to be spasmodic in the best of minds.
Men and women live on the brink of mysteries and harmonies
into which they never enter and with their hand on the doorlatch
they die outside. GK Chesterton
===============
Address Change
Don't be without 'Thought & Humor' this electrifying autumn season
should your address (college students, military, rich people, etc.)
change. Subscribe your new address:
harvard_humor_club-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
It's hard to impress the opposite sex without 'Thought & Humor'
combined with moonlight, candlelight dinners, ocean breezes,
and Howdy...
===============
Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought
& Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
of your choice from the list below:
1) French university students
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring
to NCSU, JSU, MSU, USC, UGA, or FSU.
===============
"How to Be Sure You're
a REAL Christian"
1-888-NEED-HIM
(24/7 - free call)
===============
Depressed, Troubled, Worried???
Big Problems???
Want to talk with a LIVE trained counselor???
Want to get REAL help???
(FREE - English/Spanish)
1-800-633-3446
Click Here
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')
===============
I am trying here to prevent anyone from saying the really
foolish thing that people often say about Him [Jesus Christ]:
"I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I
don't accept His claim to be God."
That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was
merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would
not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic --
on a level with a man who says he is a poached egg --
or else he would be the Devil of Hell.
You must make your choice. Either this Man was, and is,
the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse ....
You can shut Him up for fool, you can spit at Him and kill
Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him
Lord and God. But let us not come up with any patronizing
nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has
not left that option open to us. He did not intend to.
-- From Case for Christianity, by C.S. Lewis
===============
"Let every student be plainly instructed and earnestly pressed to consider
well the main end of his life and studies is to know God and Jesus Christ
which is eternal life (John 17:3)."
- - - The Laws and Statutes of Harvard College in 1643
"All scholars shall live religious, godly, and blameless lives according
to the rules of God's Word, diligently reading the Holy Scriptures, the
fountain of light and truth; and constantly attend upon all the duties
of religion, both in public and secret."
- - - Two central requirements in Yale College 1745 charter
===============
Muhammad or Jesus???
Click Here
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')
===============
Why The U.S.A. Is At War:
Click Here
Click Here
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')
===============
AMERICA ARCHIVED
Click Here
This government site offers access to historic documents.
View the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights.
===============
'Thought & Humor' - often polemical but
never tasteless/unrefined/uncouth/ribald.
===============
Please note: If you see a UNC student or liberal reading 'Thought & Humor',
please explain to them which is thought & which is humor. They usually get it backwards.......
===============
Who is Jesus?
Click Here
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')
===============
"Not being on the air, that's not important. But I'd like
to be in the newsroom helping set the agenda."
Retired CBS Anchorman Walter Cronkite
{Dear Walter, Fair news knows no agenda - Howdy}
===============
God designed humans to want to believe in something.
That's the image of God that is in us. But as G. K.
Chesterton famously put it, when we reject the God
of the Bible, we don't believe in nothing; we believe
in everything -- including Little Green Men.
- - Chuck Colson
===============
Dear Howdy,
Thank you for your simply addicting newsletter...it's truly a candidate
for the 8th wonder of the world and 1st candidate for the cyber-world...
it just keeps blooming with more of what I need and, I think, what we
all need...please keep up the great works!!!
Type atcha later...
God bless you,
Phil H
WI
===============
Dear Howdy, Indeed I am a faithful Tarheel*, having both
MA and Ph.D. from their fine chemistry department.
But that doesn't keep me from getting a great kick out
of the humor propagated by what appears to me to be
a pack of wolves!!**
SERIOUSLY, THE HUMOR IS GREAT FUN BUT MY
MAIN ATTRACTION WAS TO THE CONSERVATIVE
MORAL AND POLITICAL STANCE THAT SEEMED
TO CHARACTERIZE THE FIRST ISSUE I SAW.
INCIDENTALLY (HE SAYS ACCIDENTALLY!), it was
sent to me by a friend, so I really didn't "hear about
you" at all, and still haven't. All I know is what has
come in the two issues of the Newsletter I have
seen. The best to you.
S. P.
*Another name for UNC.
** UNC's archrival - NCSU.
===============
Recommended by Prof Howdy for improving your life:
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
{Double click this link or copy and paste this link into your Web Browser's address line
for more info - Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor' in any way - but should be}
===============
Board of Advisors for 'Thought & Humor':
Did you know that 'Thought & Humor' has a distinguished Board of Advisors
that are designed to be a cross section demographically of our readership as far
as age, location, gender, marital status, education & occupation are concerned???
Bill - 50's - FL - Computer Operator for 911 System, V.P. - Archives
Brenda - 50's - TX - University Administor, Married
Caroline - 20's - FL - Married, University Student
David - 50's - NJ - Businessman, Married
Doug - 50's - TN - President of 501(c)(3) Corp, Married
Ellen - 20's - NJ - University Student
Emily - 30's - TN - Banker, Married
Janet - 40's - MI - Married, Former Missionary to Arab Country
Jerry - 80's - CA - Retired Theology Professor, Lobbyist, Author
Jill - 50's - MN - Restaurant Owner, Married
Jim - 40's - NM - Businessman, Married
John - 50's - Peru - Pastor, Married
Katie - 20's - NC - Teacher, Married to UNC Med Student
Laura - 30's - NY - English Teacher
Lisa - 40's - TN - Secretary, Married
Marie - 60's - South Africa - Entrepreneur, Politician
Mamie - 20's - GA - Elementary Teacher
Milton - 19 - GA - College Student
Phil - 50's WI - Handicapped
Rob - 20's - NY - University Administor, Married
Ruth - 50's - CA - Real Estate, Involved in Spanish Ministry
Sarah - 20's - NC - UNC Student, Married
Shirl - 60's - CO - Finance Manager - Married to Minister
Steve - 40's - TX - Married, Computer Hardware Design
Wanda - 40's - Asia - Married - Communist Country
Advisory meetings are held weekly via the internet
and none receive monetary/pecuniary compensation
for their extensive/capacious/voluminous expertise.
===============
Bible - God's Word to you in different languages...
Click Here
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')
===============
"I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to man.
All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to
us through this book." -- President Abraham Lincoln
"For we must consider that we shall be as a City upon a hill.
The eyes of all people are upon us. So that if we shall deal
falsely with our God in this work we have undertaken, and
so cause Him to withdraw his present help from us, we
shall be made a story and a byword throughout the world."
--John Winthrop, Governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, 1630
"It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and
the Bible." - President George Washington
"The Bible is no mere book, but a Living Creature, with a
power that conquers all that oppose it." - Napoleon
"That Book accounts for the supremacy of England."
- Queen Victoria
"If there is anything in my thought or style to commend ,
the credit is due my parents for instilling in me an early
love of the Scriptures. If we abide by the principals taught
in the Bible, our country will go on prospering and to prosper;
but if we and our posterity neglect its instructions and authority,
no man can tell how sudden a catastrophe may overwhelm us and
bury all our glory in profound obscurity." - Daniel Webster (Founding Father)
"The Bible is worth all other books which have ever been printed."
- Patrick Henry (original member of the Continental Congress)
"The Bible is the anchor of our liberties." - President U.S. Grant
"It is impossible to enslave mentally or socially a Bible-reading people.
The principals of the Bible are the groundwork of human freedom."
- Horace Greeley (Editor)
"That Book is the rock on which our Republic rests." - President Andrew Jackson
"In all my perplexities and distresses, the Bible has never failed to give me
light and strength." - Gen. Robert E. Lee
"Bible reading is an education in itself." - Lord Tennyson (Poet)
"So great is my veneration for the Bible that the earlier my children begin
to read it the more confident will be my hope that they will prove useful
citizens of their country and respectable members of society. I have for
many years made it a practice to read through the Bible once every year."
- President John Quincy Adams
"The existence of the Bible, as a Book for the people, is the greatest
benefit which the human race has ever experienced. Every attempt to
belittle it is a crime against humanity." - Immanuel Kant (Philosopher)
"The New Testament is the very best Book that ever or ever will be
known in the world." - Charles Dickens (Author)
"All human discoveries seem to be made only for the purpose of
confirming more and more strongly the truths contained in the
Sacred Scriptures." - Sir William Herschel (Astronomer)
"There are more sure marks of authenticity in the Bible than in
any profane history." - Sir Isaac Newton (Scientist)
"Let mental culture go on advancing, let the natural sciences
progress in even greater extent and depth, and the human
mind widen itself as much as it desires; beyond the elevation
and moral culture of Christianity, as it shines forth in the Gospels,
it will not go." - Goethe (Author)
"I have known ninety-five of the world's great men in my time,
and of these eight-seven were followers of the Bible. The Bible
is stamped with a Specialty of Origin, and an immeasurable
distance separates it from all competitors."
- W.E. Gladstone (Prime Minister)
"Whatever merit there is in anything that I have written is simply
due to the fact that when I was a chile my mother daily read me
a part of the Bible and daily made me learn a part of it by heart."
- John Ruskin (art critic and social commentator)
"The Bible has been the Magna Charta of the poor and oppressed.
The human race is not in a position to dispense with it." - Thomas
Huxley (Author & Scientist)
"The whole hope of human progress is suspended on the ever
growing influence of the Bible." - W.H. Seward (Secretary of State)
"America was born a Christian nation. America was born
to exemplify that devotion to the elements of righteousness,
which are derived from the revelations of Holy Scriptures.
Part of the destiny of Americans lies in their daily perusal
of this great book of revelations. That if they would see
America free and pure they will make their own spirits
free and pure by this baptism of the Holy Spirit."
--President Woodrow Wilson
For Christians, the life and death of Jesus are the ultimate
expressions of love, and the supreme demonstrations of
God's mercy, faithfulness, and redemption. Since Christ's
miraculous Resurrection on Easter, more than 2,000 years
ago, Christians have expressed joy and gratitude for this
wondrous sacrifice and for God's promise of freedom for
the oppressed, healing for the brokenhearted, and salvation.
--President George W. Bush
"It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this
great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians;
not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ. For this
very reason peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum,
prosperity, and freedom of worship here."
--Patrick Henry (original member of the Continental Congress)
===============
Q: Why is 'Thought & Humor' so long?
A: All newspapers & magazines are long!
Q: What if I can't read all of it?
A: Delete it. Most folks don't read every word in every newspaper/magazine either?
Q: Am I required to memorize each article?
A: Nope! Delete what you don't have time for or save for another time.
Q: Is 'T & H' Spam?
A: No, it's made entirely of ham.
Q: Can I forward to friends & family?
A: Please do.
Q: How many people have had opportunity to read 'T & H' E-Mail Newspapers?
A: Well over 1 million + many forwards by you.
Q: Who is Howdy?
A: We let him think he's the boss...
===============
Take the best medicine of all for what ails you -- laughter:
"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon
without springs--jolted by every pebble in the road."
~Henry Ward Beecher
"Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects."
--Arnold Glasow
"Laughter is by definition healthy."
--Doris Lessing
"If somebody makes me laugh, I'm his slave for life."
--Bette Midler
"The human race has one really effective weapon,
and that is laughter."
--Mark Twain
"What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul."
-- Yiddish Proverb
"Laughter is an instant vacation."
-- Milton Berle
"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."
-- Victor Borge
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the
heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time
to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a
time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a
time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. (King Solomon)
NOTICE: The jokes published in this list were either submitted
directly to 'Thought & Humor' or are, we believe, in the public
domain. If you think that we have published a joke without
giving proper credit to its author/owner, please let us know
and we will provide appropriate credit in a future mailing.
===============
Four important things to KNOW:
1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus,
Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist,
Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned
& fall short of the glory of God.
2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal
separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at
no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is
Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ
(God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of
Peace & Savior of the World).
3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world
(Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist,
Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians,
Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up
His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone,
anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in,
relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall
have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven).
4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE.
No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic,
Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist,
Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives)
to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through)
ME (no other name).
This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - -
(Rev. 3:20)
{Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good
things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian -
however they are great afterwards!!!}
Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that
leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment),
and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow
the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness,
forever with God), and only a few find it. --Matthew 7:13-14
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The "E-Mail Newspaper" containing 'Thought & Humor'
is sent out FREE via e-mail w/o ads. This information
was sent to you because you made the request, 'Thought
& Humor' is one small attempt to obey "The Great* Com-
mission". First published in the last century (July 26, 1997).
Soli Deo Gloria...
________ "E-Mail Newspaper (Free4u)" _________
References gleaned for great humor & information: Merry Heart,
Thomas S. Elworth, Funny List, MeMail, Daily Dose, Joke of the Day,
Kim Komando, MIKEY'S FUNNIES , The Daily Tease, Crosswalk.com,
CLEAN LAFFS & Gophercentral.
Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.
'Thought & Humor' respects your privacy and wishes to honor
your desires to not receive e-mail from us if that's your choice,
and we apologize if any message causes any inconvenience
to you or your computer. We have never given any reader's
e-mail addresses to a third party & have no plans to do such
unless the price is right:o) (Liberals please note - that was
humor) The E-Mail Newspaper is sent to you with love.
But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16
.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
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