A mother and father were chatting with their high school son about his future. The student said he'd like to attend UNC*, as his parents and other members of the family had.
Pleased with his response, they pressed on. "What would you like to take when you attend college?" they asked the high school student
After giving it some thought and glancing around the kitchen, he replied, "The refrigerator, if you can get along without it."
*Please see "comments" for additional pertinent information.
Comment & Forward>>>
*Permission is hereby granted for you to change all humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought & Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another of your choice from the list below:
1) French university students 2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley 3) Any accredited high school or middle school 4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits 5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops 6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring to NCSU, JSU, MSU, USC, UGA, or FSU. 7) It is against international law to transmute any jocoseness found in this newspaper to any school if their mascot is the Wolfpack. If attempts are made, your computer will automatically notify the FBI, CIA, and the KGB and you will be charged with... "performing an illegal operation".
"I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to man. All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to us through this book." -- President Abraham Lincoln
"For we must consider that we shall be as a City upon a hill. The eyes of all people are upon us. So that if we shall deal falsely with our God in this work we have undertaken, and so cause Him to withdraw his present help from us, we shall be made a story and a byword throughout the world." --John Winthrop, Governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, 1630
"It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and the Bible." - President George Washington
"The Bible is no mere book, but a Living Creature, with a power that conquers all that oppose it." - Napoleon
"That Book accounts for the supremacy of England." - Queen Victoria
"If there is anything in my thought or style to commend , the credit is due my parents for instilling in me an early love of the Scriptures. If we abide by the principals taught in the Bible, our country will go on prospering and to prosper; but if we and our posterity neglect its instructions and authority, no man can tell how sudden a catastrophe may overwhelm us and bury all our glory in profound obscurity." - Daniel Webster (Founding Father)
"The Bible is worth all other books which have ever been printed." - Patrick Henry (original member of the Continental Congress)
"The Bible is the anchor of our liberties." - President U.S. Grant
"It is impossible to enslave mentally or socially a Bible-reading people. The principals of the Bible are the groundwork of human freedom." - Horace Greeley (Editor)
"That Book is the rock on which our Republic rests." - President Andrew Jackson
"In all my perplexities and distresses, the Bible has never failed to give me light and strength." - Gen. Robert E. Lee
"Bible reading is an education in itself." - Lord Tennyson (Poet)
"So great is my veneration for the Bible that the earlier my children begin to read it the more confident will be my hope that they will prove useful citizens of their country and respectable members of society. I have for many years made it a practice to read through the Bible once every year." - President John Quincy Adams
"The existence of the Bible, as a Book for the people, is the greatest benefit which the human race has ever experienced. Every attempt to belittle it is a crime against humanity." - Immanuel Kant (Philosopher)
"The New Testament is the very best Book that ever or ever will be known in the world." - Charles Dickens (Author)
"All human discoveries seem to be made only for the purpose of confirming more and more strongly the truths contained in the Sacred Scriptures." - Sir William Herschel (Astronomer)
"There are more sure marks of authenticity in the Bible than in any profane history." - Sir Isaac Newton (Scientist)
"Let mental culture go on advancing, let the natural sciences progress in even greater extent and depth, and the human mind widen itself as much as it desires; beyond the elevation and moral culture of Christianity, as it shines forth in the Gospels, it will not go." - Goethe (Author)
"I have known ninety-five of the world's great men in my time, and of these eight-seven were followers of the Bible. The Bible is stamped with a Specialty of Origin, and an immeasurable distance separates it from all competitors." - W.E. Gladstone (Prime Minister)
"Whatever merit there is in anything that I have written is simply due to the fact that when I was a chile my mother daily read me a part of the Bible and daily made me learn a part of it by heart." - John Ruskin (art critic and social commentator)
"The Bible has been the Magna Charta of the poor and oppressed. The human race is not in a position to dispense with it." - Thomas Huxley (Author & Scientist)
"The whole hope of human progress is suspended on the ever growing influence of the Bible." - W.H. Seward (Secretary of State)
"America was born a Christian nation. America was born to exemplify that devotion to the elements of righteousness, which are derived from the revelations of Holy Scriptures. Part of the destiny of Americans lies in their daily perusal of this great book of revelations. That if they would see America free and pure they will make their own spirits free and pure by this baptism of the Holy Spirit." --President Woodrow Wilson
For Christians, the life and death of Jesus are the ultimate expressions of love, and the supreme demonstrations of God's mercy, faithfulness, and redemption. Since Christ's miraculous Resurrection on Easter, more than 2,000 years ago, Christians have expressed joy and gratitude for this wondrous sacrifice and for God's promise of freedom for the oppressed, healing for the brokenhearted, and salvation. --President George W. Bush
"It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians; not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ. For this very reason peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum, prosperity, and freedom of worship here." --Patrick Henry (original member of the Continental Congress)
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Take the best medicine of all for what ails you -- laughter:
"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs--jolted by every pebble in the road." ~Henry Ward Beecher "Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects." --Arnold Glasow "Laughter is by definition healthy." --Doris Lessing "If somebody makes me laugh, I'm his slave for life." --Bette Midler "The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter." --Mark Twain "What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul." -- Yiddish Proverb "Laughter is an instant vacation." -- Milton Berle "Laughter is the shortest distance between two people." -- Victor Borge
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. (King Solomon)
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