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The Sheriff In The Saloon

A sheriff walks into a saloon and shouts for everyone's attention.
"Has anyone seen Brown Paper Jake?"

"What's he look like?", asks one shoddy-looking cowboy.

"Well", replies the Sheriff. "He wears a brown paper hat,
a brown paper
waistcoat, a brown paper shirt, brown paper
boots, brown paper pants,
and a brown paper jacket."

"So what's he wanted for?", asks the same cowboy.


*Please see "comments"

One of Howdy's all time
favorite jokes - used often
through our 9 year history...
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First Published In Last Century - July 26,1997
Thought For The OPEN Mind - Humor From American Culture
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Listen with RealAudio!

One of the most amazing Christian warriors in my lifetime is a manwho has come to be known as Brother Andrew, or "God's Smuggler." He's riskedeverything to get God's Word into spiritually closed countries where thatwas virtually impossible. Many consider him a real spiritual hero. No onecan doubt that he is, at the very least, a bold risk-taker for Christ.

In his biography, he tells about an incident in his early life as afollower of Christ that showed him the kind of God he was serving. Aftersome pretty wild years without the Lord, he came to Christ and almostimmediately felt the call to begin training for the ministry. He went tothis small Bible school in Scotland, and before the students were allowed tograduate, they were given a very unusual assignment. They were asked to goout for a month to do evangelistic outreaches in Scottish villages, and theywere given some money to live on - one British pound, to be exact. For thoseof us who are Americans, it would be like being given a dollar to live onfor a month. The students were to go with that one bill and eat, and sleep,and rent halls, and buy refreshments, and hold outreaches, and return thatone bill at the end of the month. Brother Andrew's team went out and didjust that. Except he returned with enough money for the school to send outtwo missionaries!

Maybe everyone in God's service should have an assignment likethat - to live the adventure of what life is like when all you've got isGod. Now you may be at or near that point right now. Or it may be that Godwants you to be at that point, and you've been avoiding it. For all of us,the ultimate questions of security and obedience boil down to this: Can Godbe trusted? Is God really enough? Figuratively speaking, can I make it whenit's just "one dollar and God"?

Our word for today from the Word of God is 1 Kings 17:1-6. Theprophet Elijah has just delivered a message of God's judgment to the Jewishking that there's going to be a long drought in Israel. Then the prophet isgiven an assignment that sounds something like Brother Andrew's in Bibleschool. He is sent into a situation where it's just him and God - just himand whatever God provides, that is. He's being sent away from all the normalsources of supply.

Here's what the Bible says: "Then the word of the Lord came toElijah, 'Leave here, turn eastward and hide in the Kerith Ravine. You willdrink from the brook, and I have ordered the ravens to feed you there.' Sohe did what the Lord had told him. He went to the Kerith Ravine and stayedthere. The ravens brought him bread and meat in the morning and bread andmeat in the evening, and he drank from the brook."

Now, God sends Elijah into this situation where God is all he has.God may be doing the same thing with you. And notice, God will always find away to provide what His servant needs. He's, in fact, the God of unlikelysources! His people have nowhere to get water in the wilderness, so it comesfrom a rock! Five thousand people have nowhere to get lunch, so Jesus takesthe one lunch there and makes 5,000 lunches from it.

Elijah is in the wilderness where there is nowhere to get food. Ohyeah? Twice a day, here come the ravens, delivering God's supply. But youhave to be in a seemingly hopeless situation like this to experience God'samazingness like this. I want to tell you that after 35 years of faithministry, I can "amen" David's testimony in Psalm 37:25. "I was young andnow I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their childrenbegging bread."

If God has you at a point where it's "one dollar and God" -financially, emotionally, physically - don't stop trusting Him now. Yoursecurity is not the resources you have in your hand, but the Heavenly Fatheryou belong to. And if you've been holding back from God's calling becauseyou can't see where the resources will come from, remember the God of themanna, and the ravens, and the endless lunch. If you don't step out of theboat, you'll never know what it is to walk on water!

A great spiritual warrior was once a Bible school student with theequivalent of a dollar to live and a month to live on it. And he found outwhat you can discover in a time when there seems to be "no way," one dollarand God is more than enough for everything you need!


To find out how you can begin a personal relationship with Jesus Christ,please visit YOURS FOR LIFE: HOW TO HAVE LIFE'S MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP at:, call 1-888-NEED HIM.


Please note: If you see a UNC student or a liberal reading 'Thought & Humor', please explain to them which is thought & which is humor. They always get it backwards.......
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hahahaaa, funny!
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Hey there, I got around to thise quotes you left at my blog a while ago. They're up in the most recent post.
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A posterity shall serve Him. It will be recounted of the Lord to the next generation.
Psalm 22:30

Just as tossing a stone into a lake creates ripples to the shoreline, so our simple acts of witness produce results that extend to the return of Christ.

Early one Sunday, a young man dragged himself home from a night of partying. As an instructor at Tampa’s Arthur Murray Studio, he was single, popular, and unhindered by morality. He collapsed into bed, setting his radio alarm for mid-afternoon. When the radio came on, he was jolted awake by the preaching of Donald Barnhouse, who was asking: "Suppose you were to die today and stand before God and He asked you, ‘What right do you have to enter into my heaven?’what would you say?"

That’s the moment the Holy Spirit touched D. James Kennedy, who is now one of America’s eminent pastors. At the time, however, no one knew the results of that broadcast. It was unknown to Dr. Barnhouse, to the producers of the show, to the supporters who had given their gifts to put it on the air, or to workers in the studio. Only heaven will tabulate the results of that Sunday afternoon broadcast.

You’re doing more good than you know. Don’t ever underestimate the handful of stones you’re throwing into the pond whenever you say a word for Christ.

Do all the good you can by all the means you can.
John Wesley
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* * * Four Important Things To KNOW: #1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned & fall short of the glory of God. #2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ (God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of Peace & Savior of the World). #3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone, anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in, relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven). #4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE. No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist, Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives) to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through) ME (no other name). *** This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - - (Rev. 3:20) {Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian - however they are great afterwards!!!} *** Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment), and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness, forever with God), and only a few find it.

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But these are written so that you may
believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the
Son of God, and that by believing in
Him you will have life. Jn 20:31

Seek the Lord while He may be found;
call on Him while He is near. Let the
wicked forsake his way and the evil
man his thoughts. Let him turn to the
Lord, and He will have mercy on him,
and to our God, for He will freely
pardon. "For My thoughts are not
your thoughts, neither are your ways
My ways," declares the Lord. "As the
heavens are higher than the earth, so
are My ways higher than your ways
and My thoughts than your thoughts.
As the rain and the snow come down
from heaven, and do not return to it
without watering the earth and making
it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed
for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is My word that goes out from My
mouth: It will not return to Me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire and
achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
You will go out in joy and be led forth
in peace; the mountains and hills will
burst into song before you, and all the
trees of the field will clap their hands.
Instead of the thornbush will grow the
pine tree, and instead of briers the myrtle
will grow. This will be for the Lord's
renown, for an everlasting sign, which
will not be destroyed." Is 55

O Lord, you have searched me and you
know me. You know when I sit and when
I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying
down; you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue you know
it completely, O Lord. You hem me in -
behind and before; you have laid your
hand upon me. Such knowledge is too
wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where
can I flee from your presence? If I go up
to the heavens, you are there; if I make
my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide
me and the light become night around
me," even the darkness will not be dark
to you; the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you. For you
created my inmost being; you knit me
together in my mother's womb. I praise
you because I am fearfully and wonderfully
made; your works are wonderful, I know
that full well. My frame was not hidden
from you when I was made in the secret
place. When I was woven together in the
depths of the earth, your eyes saw my
unformed body. All the days ordained
for me were written in your book before
one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts,
O God! How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them, they would
outnumber the grains of sand. When
I awake, I am still with you. Search me,
O God, and know my heart; test me
and know my anxious thoughts. See
if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Ps 139

But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.

Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were a present far too small:
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.
- - Isaac Watts

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