This Blog -
Moved To:
http://professor-howdy.blogspot.com/

An older UNC grad was driving down the
freeway when his cell phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently
warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the
news that there's some idiot driving a car
the wrong way on Highway 280. Please be careful!"

"Hazel!" said Herman, "It's not just one car!
There's hundreds of them!"





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Q: Why is 'Thought & Humor' so long?
A: All newspapers & magazines are long!

Q: What if I can't read all of it?
A: Delete it. Most folks don't read every word in every newspaper/magazine either?

Q: Am I required to memorize each article?
A: Nope! Delete what you don't have time for or save for another time.

Q: Is 'T & H' Spam?
A: No, it's made entirely of ham.

Q: Can I forward to friends & family?
A: Please do.

Q: How many people have had opportunity to read 'T & H' E-Mail Newspapers?
A: Well over 1 million + many forwards by you.

Q: Who is Howdy?
A: We let him think he's the boss...







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Four important things to KNOW:

1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus,
Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist,
Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned
& fall short of the glory of God.

2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal
separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at
no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is
Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ
(God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of
Peace & Savior of the World).

3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world
(Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist,
Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians,
Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up
His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone,
anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in,
relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall
have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven).

4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE.
No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic,
Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist,
Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives)
to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through)
ME (no other name).

This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - -
(Rev. 3:20)

{Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good
things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian -
however they are great afterwards!!!}

Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that
leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment),
and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow
the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness,
forever with God), and only a few find it. --Matthew 7:13-14





++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The "E-Mail Newspaper" containing 'Thought & Humor'
is sent out FREE via e-mail w/o ads. This information
was sent to you because you made the request, 'Thought
& Humor' is one small attempt to obey "The Great* Com-
mission". First published in the last century (July 26, 1997).
Soli Deo Gloria...
________ "E-Mail Newspaper (Free4u)" _________
References gleaned for great humor & information: Merry Heart,
Thomas S. Elworth, Funny List, MeMail, Daily Dose, Joke of the Day,
Kim Komando, Shagmail, MIKEY'S FUNNIES , The Daily Tease,
Crosswalk.com, humorcartoons@arcamax.com & Gophercentral.
*http://www.transferableconcepts.com/commission/
Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.


'Thought & Humor' respects your privacy and wishes to honor
your desires to not receive e-mail from us if that's your choice,
and we apologize if any message causes any inconvenience
to you or your computer. We have never given any reader's
e-mail addresses to a third party & have no plans to do such
unless the price is right:o) (Liberals please note - that was
humor) The E-Mail Newspaper is sent to you with love.






===============


The Perfect Son
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.


===============


WORD-MATCH
ANSWER KEY

1. salmagundi I. Any mixture or assortment
2. panoptic D. Taking in or showing everything in a single view
3. rankle G. To cause permanent feelings of bitterness
4. forfend A. To protect or secure against something happening
5. titter E. To laugh in a nervous self-conscious way
6. ambit J. Circuit or compass
7. paunchy C. Having a large round stomach
8. coruscate H. To sparkle
9. pellucid F. Transparent; clear
10. proscribe B. To denounce, condemn, or forbid as harmful
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Howdy,

Question for your astute readers . . . .

* Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
* How do I set my laser printer on stun?
* How is it possible to have a civil war?
* If all the world is a stage,
where IS the audience sitting?
* If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
* If one synchronized swimmer drowns,
do the rest have to drown too?
* If the #2 pencil is the most popular,
why is it still #2?
* If the black box flight recorder is never damaged
during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane
made out of the stuff?
M-
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Hi Howdy,

I must admit that I was really irritated when I first received your
newspaper. I have been having mucho problems receiving virus-laced
pornographic emails, which I cannot seem to get stopped. AOL has been no
help whatsoever. I was just sure your publication was more of the same.
The versions I was initially receiving were hopelessly unreadeable. I assumed
they were more of the overseas smut I was receiving.

There was nothing to open, nothing to download, nothing to make any sense.
There were just a bunch of seemingly unrelated words and numbers. AOL could
tell me nothing about them, nor could Yahoo. I sent several emails trying
to get them stopped, but to no avail. I did receive one reply IN FRENCH which
said my request could not be understood. (You must have some creative
staffers or some wacky servers.) That confirmed my suspicions. I forwarded
each arrival to AOL spam and AOL virus email services.

Finally, a coupe of weeks ago one came actually written in English and
actually readable. Imagine my shock! Being a public school educator and a
Chrisian, I found it quite interesting and refreshing and would hope to
continue receiving your publication. I will gladly pass them on.

Good luck and may God bless you for your part in spreading His message.

barkerw
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Dear Howdy,

Late night TV is very educational. It teaches you that you
should have gone to bed earlier.

James D.
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Dear Howdy,

Tomorrow will be my last day in the office and at this address. I have
no email at home and I won't have a new address until Monday. So I will
be unable to see this coming edition of T&H (the last one was great as
always). I have no idea what is in store for me as far as training so it
may take a day or two. Thank you for your prayers and support, I look
forward to writing in my new "digs". As Tigger would say, "TTFN, ta
ta for now!"

YFIC
Rob
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Dear Howdy,

I know what men want. Men want to be really,
really close to someone who will leave them alone.

Elayne
  .comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

Dear Howdy,

It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They
are in front of you in the express lane at the supermarket.

June H.
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