Amidships - condition of being surrounded by boats.
Anchor - a device designed to bring up mud samples from the bottom at inopportune or unexpected times.
Anchor Light - a small light used to discharge the battery before daylight.
Beam Sea - A situation in which waves strike a boat from the side, causing it to roll unpleasantly. This is one of the four directions from which wave action tends to produce extreme physical discomfort. The other three are 'bow sea' (waves striking from the front), 'following sea' (waves striking from the rear), and 'quarter sea' (waves striking from any other direction).
Berth - a little addition to the crew.
Boat ownership - Standing fully-clothed under a cold shower, tearing up 100-dollar bills
Boom - sometimes the result of a surprise jibe. Called boom for the sound that's made when it hits crew in the head on its way across the boat.
Calm - Sea condition characterized by the simultaneous dis- appearance of the wind and the last cold beverage.
Chart - a type of map which tells you exactly where you are aground.
Clew - an indication from the skipper as to what he might do next.
Course - The direction in which a skipper wishes to steer his boat and from which the wind is blowing. Also, the language that results by not being able to.
Crew - Heavy, stationary objects used on shipboard to hold down charts, anchor cushions in place and dampen sudden movements of the boom.
Dead Reckoning - a course leading directly to a reef.
Dinghy - the sound of the ship's bell.
Displacement - when you dock your boat and can't find it later.
Estimated Position - a place you have marked on the chart where you are sure you are not.
Flashlight - Tubular metal container used on shipboard for storing dead batteries prior to their disposal.
Gybe - A common way to get unruly guests off your boat.
Headway - what you are making if you can't get the toilet to work.
Jack Lines - "Hey baby, want to go sailing?"
Landlubber - anyone on board who wishes he were not.
Latitude - the number of degrees off course allowed a guest.
Mast - religious ritual used before setting sail.
Mizzen - an object you can't find.
Motor Sailer - A sailboat that alternates between sail/ rigging problems and engine problems, and with some booze in the cabin.
Ram - an intricate docking maneuver sometimes used by ex- perienced skippers.
Sailing - The fine art of getting wet and becoming ill, while going nowhere slowly at great expense.
Shroud - equipment used in connection with a wake.
Starboard - special board used by skippers for navigation (usually with "Port" on the opposite side.)
Tack - A maneuver the skipper uses when telling the crew what they did wrong without getting them mad.
Yawl - A sailboat from Texas, with some good bourbon stored down yonder in the cabin
Zephyr - Warm, pleasant breeze. Named after the mythical Greek god of wishful thinking, false hopes, and unreliable forecasts.
Welcome to the most censored & attacked surreptitious newspaper on the internet. I wonder what's below that various indomitable individuals are afraid for you to read??? Surely not the award winning humor!!!
Undoubtedly America’s fastest growing sensation online, 'Thought & Humor' has arrived after winding its way through the Internet’s highways and byways to your e-mail address. We welcome all our great readers to another unique blend of the jocular with provocative rumination for your weekly entertainment - usually platitudinous & bromidic but never nefarious, prurient, besmeared, or perfidious and delivered gratis to offices, homes & dorms ubiquitously....
An account executive at a stock-and-bond firm telephoned a UNC* grad client who had purchased her first stock - one hundred shares of Proctor & Gamble. He told her that he had just heard they were going to split.
"Oh! What a shame." she lamented. "I'm so sorry to hear that. And, they've been together for so long, too."
________ *UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill. Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including: B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), A.P.E., B.R.C. (Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898 for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State.
What if being a Christian meant you had to walk six miles every day and carry your water supply back on your head? That was the situation a lady named Vincy faced when she received Christ as her Savior.
But I invite you to view this week's PhotoShow and see how a Jesus Well not only encouraged this new believer, but transformed the life of a congregation--and an entire village in Rajasthan, India. To see the PhotoShow, please click the following link: http://www.gfa.org/newsupdate080806?motiv=WA68-G1PS.
I pray that you will be encouraged as you see the face of this courageous woman, and understand how your prayers and financial support of projects like the Jesus Wells are being used to change lives for eternity all across southern Asia.
The Crusades: unprovoked Western aggression? How, in fact, Muslims armies overran the predominantly Christian Middle East, then drove deep into Europe long before any Crusade was even contemplated -- and did so in obedience to core teachings of the Islamic faith
How the much-ballyhooed (and grossly exaggerated) "Golden Age" of Islamic culture was largely inspired by non-Muslims
Muhammed: the "Perfect Man"? That's how Muslims regard him. Details about his licentiousness, cruelty, and ruthless ambition that make him a dangerous role model
Muhammad as "Prophet": how he received convenient "revelations" that justified his insatiable lusts and numerous marriages -- including one to a 9-year-old girl
How Muhammad ordered -- and rejoiced in -- the assassinations of his enemies. How he lied and broke treaties as a matter of course
Muhammad vs. Jesus: proof that Christianity teaches peace and Islam violence -- and that there is nothing in the Bible that rivals the Qur'an's exhortations to warfare
The stifling effect Islam has on science and free inquiry, accounting for its failure to prosper -- and hence for its murderous envy of the West
The ghastly lure of Islam's X-rated Paradise for suicide bombers and jihad terrorists
Islamic law: how it institutionalizes oppression of Christians, Jews, and other non-Muslims in Islamic societies
How the Qur'an and Islamic law treat women as nothing more or less than possessions of men
Islam's only overarching moral principle: "if it's good for Islam, it's right"
Why Western leaders who think non-Muslims can "win hearts and minds" among Islamic jihadists are naïve
Why modern-day jihad warriors despise democracy and will do all they can to resist it
Filmmaker Theo van Gogh: murdered on an Amsterdam street in broad daylight for offending Muslims -- and other signs that violent Islamic intimidation has come to the West
Why Europe could be Islamic by the end of the twenty-first century
Above all, Spencer details how the jihad that the non-Muslim world faces today is in direct continuity with the one the Crusaders fought against. It continues today in Europe and even in America while pressure groups intimidate the media into silence about the real nature and goals of Islam. The whitewashed Islam they present, argues Spencer, hinders our ability to defend ourselves against Islamic terror.
Spencer also explains here what we must do to stop the jihad onslaught not only militarily, but culturally. He maintains that we will not be able to defeat today's Islamic jihad without recovering pride in the superiority -- yes, superiority -- of Western, Christian civilization. If we surrender our culture, he warns, soon we will be surrendering our homes. But here at last is a book that helps you reclaim the glorious past of our civilization -- and thereby defend that civilization more effectively in the present.