My friend Judy was working at the Chapel Hill Inn when she answered a call for information about the inn. After finishing the conversation, Judy stepped away from the desk.
When the phone rang again, a UNC student intern took the call.
"I forgot to ask something." the caller said, "How are the rooms appointed?"
"Well, six of them are appointed west," the student said, "and the rest are appointed east."
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UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill. Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including: B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), N.U.T., A.P.E., B.R.C. (Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898 for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State.
A UNC student had a near death experience when she went horseback riding the other day. Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control.
She tried with all her might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get worse, her foot got caught in the stirrup. When this happened, she fell head first to the ground.
Her head continued to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down.
Just as she was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Walmart manager happened to walk by and unplug the ride.
Here is some Presidential Trivia:
» Thomas Jefferson's father was one of the surveyors who laid out the Virginia/North Carolina border.
» President Ulysses S. Grant was once arrested during his term of office. He was convicted of exceeding the Washington speed limit on his horse and was fined $20.
» Though his wife Martha had four children by a previous marriage, George Washington left no direct descendant. He never sired a child to continue his family line.
» President William H. Taft was once offered a contract to pitch for the Cincinnati Reds.
» John Adams was the first president to have a son become president. His wife, Abigail Smith, was very influential and known as an engaging conversationalist and a wonderful writer of letters.
» John Adams was central to the Revolution and to the creation of the Declaration of Independence and the government under the Constitution.
» To enforce integration, Dwight Eisenhower, a Republican, ordered the U.S. National Guard to escort students into the Little Rock High School in Little Rock, Arkansas.
» Two towns in Vermont claim to be President Chester A. Arthur's birthplace, but recent research supports his opponents' charges that he was born in Canada, and therefore, was not eligible to be president under the U.S. Constitution.
Bible - God's Word to you in different languages...
Considering the current state of morality in the world today, I was pleasantly surprised to see an article entitled “New clothing line makes sexual abstinence a fashion statement.” Taking abstinence education into the 21st century, a new clothing line called Wait Wear gives teens and young adults the opportunity to literally wear their commitment to abstain from sexual activity on their sleeves. The clothing line combines hip fashion and and moral conviction and creatively demonstrate its owner is waiting until marriage to engage in sex. The company slogan is W2. It offers a wide range of clothing options and provides a symbolic badge which youth can use to remind themselves and others of the standards by which they have chosen to live their lives.
The clothing line called Wait Wear also features items with slogans such as “No Vow, No Sex,” “Virginity Lane: Exit When Married,” “Traffic Control: Wait for Marriage,” and “No Overnight Parking” to name a few. The creator of this clothing line believes Wait Wear gives teens and young adults the ability to express their convictions boldly. She further states, it’s about being proud of the choice that I have made as it relates to my sexuality. Recently, it seems that the abstinence as an option before marriage has gained significant support. President Bush increased federal funding for abstinence programs, doubling it from $135 million to $270 million.
According to a recent study in Newsweek, more than one third of U.S. high schools include abstinence in their sex education curricula, and there are over 700 individual abstinence programs operating across the country. One such program is “The Advantage Plan” in Illinois. Recently it held an awards banquet to honor those persons who had volunteered and participated in the program. The goal of this group is to reach 8,640 youth in Cook County. To date, their abstinence educators have been in 67 schools and community organizations. They expect to reach 9,500 young people with the message of abstinence as a lifestyle by the end of the summer. The group attributes its success in great part to youth being aware and determined to make a positive change in their lives. These are certainly worthwhile values for every young person.
As I read this article, I was reminded of Paul's instructions to Timothy wherein he tells him to “watch [his] life and to set an example in purity.” It seems that the young people in this article have gotten the essence of what it means to live a wholesome life. As believers we must be about the business of modeling and teaching our young people about abstinence and what it means to live a godly life. Berlean M. Burris
Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights. Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday. Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy. Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners. Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808. Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839. Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names. Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Now hang on to your seat.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.' Kennedy was shot in a car called 'Lincoln' made by 'Ford.'
Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse. Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
And here's the kicker...
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
Thank you for your simply addicting newsletter...it's truly a candidate for the 8th wonder of the world and 1st candidate for the cyber-world... it just keeps blooming with more of what I need and, I think, what we all need...please keep up the great works!!!
An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar speed checking equipment, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when suddenly the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate.
The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again; even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed. Same result. So, he made a note to himself to contact the traffic department and tell them that their machine wasn't working properly.
A few weeks later, the off-duty police officer received an envelope from the police department containing three traffic citations, each of them were for NOT wearing a seat belt.
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain in one of the many bars in Chapel Hill. He's going through his usual run of stupid UNC jokes, when a large, UNC student in the fourth row stands on his chair and says "I've heard just about enough of your denigrating UNC jokes."
He continues to berate him: "What makes you think you can stereotype UNC that way? What does a person's school have to do with their worth as a human being and intelligence? It's guys like you who keep future UNC grads like me from being respected at work and in the community, or of reaching their full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against UNC, all in the name of humor."
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the student pipes up, "You stay out of this, Mister. I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!"
Setting: Sometime in the future. A hugh winged man with a fierce countenance has just placed a man-of-the-world in heavy manacles.
Man: What's the meaning of this? Angel: You heard the sentence.
Man: I know but I was hoping for a retrial, an appeal, or something!!! Angel: There is none now.
Man: When WAS there ever one? Angel: Before you departed your world.
Man: You mean croaked? Angel: (Silence)
The scene changes as they both lift away from the courtroom and hover briefly before commencing the final & terrifying journey.
Man: How long is this going to take? Angel: Unfortunately for you, not long.
Man: How far will we travel? Angel: All the way to the center of your galaxy.
Man: What's there? A black hole? Angel: (Nod's affirmatively)
Man: Is that... is it... really - you know Hell? Angel: (Nod's affirmatively)
Man: ...but I thought God was a God of Love? Angel: He is.
Man: Then why all this! Why doesn't He love me? Angel: He does (with a tear in his eye).
Man: This isn't fair! He never loved me! He never told me about all this. Angel: Did you not own 7 copies of THE BOOK in your lifetime?
Man: You mean the Bible? Angel: Yes.
Man: I suppose but it was dull, boring & not intrinsic to me. Angel: It was very relevant. It tells how God loved you so much that He sent the King of Kings to take you punishment - but sadly you declined.
Man: My family warned me but I thought that I wanted a "good time" and not a bunch of rules! Besides, my prof taught me that the Bible was bigoted, politically incorrect, homophobic & a myth. Angel: Unfortunately, I transported your professor on the previous peregrination.
Man: Will I see him there - I'll punch out his #%!& lights. Angel: I am the last living soul you or he will ever see.
Man: ...but I always thought that I could have fun with all my friends there??? Angel: You will see no one ever again (again tears).
Man: How is that possible??? Angel: All will be there that declined the free offer from the "King of Kings" & sadly and unfortunately that was the preponderance of mankind.
Man: Were they all conned like me? Angel: Yes, but many followed false gods, messiahs, religions.
Man: What will my prison be like? Angel: After experiencing the place where you will spend forever, any prison anywhere at anytime in human history would have been a paradise.
Man: Meaning??? Angel: The immense gravity will pull & tear on you. Gasping for air, the prodigious smoke will fill your lungs. The searing heat - far hotter than your Sun (a mere star) - will torment your body. The thirst in your throat and being will be unquenchable. None will you ever see but all will you hear wailing, but worst of all will be your memory.
Man: (Pausing with a smirk) Memory of what? Angel: Memory of what you did to others and a growing realization of what you would have been had you acceded to the pardon from the "King of Kings".
Man: What did I ever do to others? Angel: What was brought out in your litigation - the way you neglected & manipulated your family & friends. The way you took advantage of women for your OWN gratification.
Man: (Changing the subject) I thought all ways led to God in the end. Angel: In His Book He stated that He (Jesus - King of Kings) was the ONLY way. Either He was right or He was wrong.
Man: I see now that all those other ways were terrible deceptions! Angel: (Silence)
Man: Is this it??? Angel: I'm sorry but yes.
Man: Will I ever have a chance to leave? Angel: No, never.
Man: I'll tell you and that King of yours one thing: I'd rather be HERE than around that all consuming brightness
The scene concludes with the man being released screaming/shrieking/wailing into the Black Hole which will never be able to release any of it's eternally terrified & tortured occupants because they had each purposely chosen to decline the pardon from the loving "King of Kings". God was willing that none should perish- no not one - but many decide otherwise. Please don't allow this to be your future trip.