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UNC* student to friend: "I got some
bad news today: You know the money
I get from those little ATM machines?
It comes from MY account!"

________
*UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill.
Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including:
B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), N.U.T., A.P.E., B.R.C.
(Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898
for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were
unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher
learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State.
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Hello Howdy,

At the height of laughter, the universe is
flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities.

Jean H.
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A UNC student enters a store that sells curtains. She tells
the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains."

The salesman assures her that they have a large selection
of pink curtains. He shows her several patterns, but the
student seems to be having a hard time choosing.

Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print. The salesman
then asks what size curtains she needs. The student promptly
replies, "fifteen inches."

"Fifteen inches???" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small,
what room are they for?"

The student tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for
her computer monitor.

The surprised salesman replies, "but Miss, computers do not need
curtains!"

The UNC student says, "Hellllooooooooo .. I've got Windoooooows!"
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Several years ago, I had the privilege of visiting Old
Jerusalem.
And as I walked through the city, I saw this curious sight. I saw some
Israeli soldiers who appeared to be on a holiday because they had their
arm around their girls and they were laughing and shopping. The curious
part was that they each had a gun strapped over their shoulder, an UZI,
with
a full clip of ammunition. Those Israeli soldiers know they always need
to be
prepared for war, even when they're taking a day off. So, they always
carry
their weapon.

Our word today from the Word of God comes from the 119th Psalm,
which is the longest chapter in the Bible, and it's appropriately devoted
to
the power of the Word of God. Verse 9: "How can a young man keep his way
pure?" You may or may not be young, but I'm sure you've asked that
question.
"How can I win over this temptation?" Here's the answer. "By living
according to your word, Lord." Then he says, "I seek you with all my
heart.
Do not let me stray from your commands." Lord, I really want to do the
right
thing, but sometimes, you know, I get off on a detour.

Here's the strategy for winning that battle. "I have hidden your
word in my heart that I might not sin against you." Here David is talking

about memorizing the words of God from the Bible and actually making them

part of your personality. That's the weapon you use to fight sin and
temptation. You say, "Well, I read the Bible." No, no! This is talking
about
knowing the Bible by heart, memorizing it. I've memorized Ephesians
6:10-18,
that great spiritual warfare passage, and many mornings as I've been
getting
ready, or haven't been feeling all that great, or I've been facing some
gloomy prospects, or a heavy load, I've quoted that passage. And many
times,
it has turned the spiritual tide.

D. L. Moody said, "When you think sin, think scripture." You
can't
do that if you don't have scripture buried in your personality by
memorization. You can't always reach for your Bible, but you can reach in

and pull up whatever you've made part of you. This is like portable
spiritual power, wrapped up in scripture committed to memory. If you
haven't
been consciously, consistently committing verses to memory, you're
spiritually a lot weaker than you need to be.

Learn some of the promises of God to stand on in those moments
when
worry is winning. Memorize Psalm 55:22, for example. "Cast your burden on

the Lord, and He will sustain you. He will never let the righteous fall."

I've sent that verse to the door many times when worry's been knocking.
Learn His promises to fight with when temptation is winning, like 1
Corinthians 10:13. "There is no temptation taking you, but such as is
common
to man. But God is faithful; he will not allow you more than you are
able,
but will, with the temptation, also make a way to escape, that you may be

able to bear it." Try James 4:7, "Resist the devil, and he will flee from

you." Memorize that passage in Ephesians 6.

Learn the warnings of scripture to fight sin when it looks
inviting.
For example, James 1:15 says, "Desire, when it has conceived, gives birth
to
sin, and sin, when it is full grown, gives birth to death." All of a
sudden
sin is revealed as the killer it really is. Write verses you want to
memorize on a card. Learn them by a subject - a title. Keep the card in
places where you always go and review, review, review. And then try it on
as
many people as you can.

Those Israeli soldiers are respected all over the world for their

military ability. That day in Jerusalem, I saw one reason why. They know
something every follower of Christ has to remember. We have to always be
prepared for war, and it doesn't stop because you're relaxing. Always
carry
your weapon - the artillery of God's words loaded in your heart.

Ron Hutchcraft





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with Jesus Christ, please call:

1-888-NEED HIM.
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A UNC grad pilot who became well
known for his absent-mindedness
was invited to pilot a new flying
boat. The pilot had a good time
flying.

After spending a couple of hours
in the air, the pilot decided that
it was time to land. He was about
to make a landing on the ground
when his assistant reminded that
they were supposed to land on
the sea.

"Yes, I know. I was just testing you,"
answered the pilot.

"I am not that absent-minded."
So the flying boat made a safe
landing on the water. Having
accomplished this, the pilot,
being proud for not committing
a big mistake, opened the door
and stepped into the sea.
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The event details what the scientists are calling the perfect cosmic
storm:
galaxy clusters that collided like two high-pressure weather fronts and
created hurricane-like conditions, tossing galaxies far from their paths
and
churning shock waves of 100-million-degree gas through intergalactic
space.
The tiny dots in this artist's concept are galaxies containing thousand
million of stars. PICTURES:
http://www.esa.int/esaCP/SEMSKV9DFZD_FeatureWeek_1.html
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Kids Site: Use your noodle
http://www.eduplace.com/kids/index.html
Who says learning can't be fun? Play fun educational games, solve
challenging crossword puzzles and answer geography questions.


{Double click on the web address above for additional information:}



===============

Howdy says: "FORWARD TO FRIENDS & YOUR MAMA!"
First Published In Last Century - July 26,1997
Thought For The OPEN Mind - Humor From American Culture

===============








An English professor wrote the words :

"A woman without her man is nothing" on the chalkboard
and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.

All of the males in the class wrote:
"A woman, without her man, is nothing."

All the females in the class wrote:
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."

Punctuation is powerful!

(Tks: JB)






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===============






Like a lot of husbands throughout history, Webster would sit
down and try to talk to his wife. But as soon as he would
start to say something, his wife would say, "... And what's
that supposed to mean?"

Thus, Webster's Dictionary was born.







===============




TRIVIA:

In honor of the baseball season comming to an end, and the
beginning of the playoffs, here are a few baseball facts:

» Giants baseball catcher Roger Bresnahan introduced shin
guards in 1907.

» Hank Aaron's first major league home run was hit off Vic
Raschi of the St. Louis Cardinals in 1954.

» In 1882, Richard Higham of Troy, New York, former manager
and National League baseball player, was banished from the
league for advising gamblers how to bet on baseball games he
umpired, thus earning the infamous distinction of being the
only umpire ever judged guilty of dishonesty on the field.

» In 1897, the Washington Senators became the first baseball
team ever to introduce "Ladies' Day."

» In 1963, baseball pitcher Gaylord Perry said: "They'll put
a man on the moon before I hit a home run." Only a few hours
after Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon on July 20, 1969,
Perry hit the first and only home run of his career.

» In 1965, the minimum annual salary for a baseball player was
$6,000, just a thousand dollars more than it had been in 1947.

» In 1977, Mike Schmidt earned the first $500,000 salary in
baseball.

» In 1994, the National League and American League Baseball
M.V.P.s were Jeff Bagwell and Frank Thomas, respectively. Jeff
and Frank were both born on the exact same day: May 27, 1968.

» When Babe Ruth hit 60 home runs in 1927, he hit 14 percent
of all home runs in his league that year. For a player to hit
14 percent of all home runs today, he would have to hit over
300 home runs in one season and he did it without performance
enhancing drugs.

» In baseball, there are seven ways that a batter can reach
first base. It can be done with a hit, a walk, a hit-by-pitch,
defensive interference, fielder's choice, a dropped third strike,
and an error.

» In July 1934, Babe Ruth paid a fan $20 dollars for the return
of the baseball he hit for his 700th career home run.

***


The California redwood - coast redwood and giant sequoia -
are the tallest and largest living organism in the world.

***

Researchers have determined that 1 acre of potatoes can yield
1,200 gallons of ethyl alcohol in a year.

***

Green turtles may breed for the first time when they are
between 25 to 50 years old. This figure varies, depending
upon the creature's range and the diet of the maturing
turtle.


???

Blood

In one year, the average human heart circulates from 770,000
to 1.6 million gallons of blood through the body. This is
enough fluid to fill 200 tank cars, each with a capacity of
8,000 gallons.

***

Ukraine

At Christmas, Ukrainians prepare a traditional twelve-course
meal. A family's youngest child watches through the window
for the evening star to appear, a signal that the feast can
begin.

***

Super Bowl

Americans will hold more parties in their homes on Super Bowl
Sunday than any other day of the year.
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