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...By Dr. Howdy
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Thursday
She was a UNC grad &. . .
.. she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
.. she tripped over a cordless phone
.. she told someone to meet her at the corner of "WALK"
.. & "DONT WALK"
.. they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade
.. when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home,
.. she moved.
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Three students riding together -one from Vandy, one from Villanova & one
from UNC had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night
with a farmer.
The farmer said "There might be a problem; you see, I only have room for
two to sleep, so one of you must sleep in the barn."
"No problem," chimed the Vandy student, "My dormatory is old and
I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for an evening."
With that he departed to the barn and the others bedded down for the night.
Moments later a knock was heard at the door; the farmer opened the door.
There stood the Vandy student from the barn.
"What's wrong?" asked the farmer.
He replied, "I am grateful to you, but I can't sleep in the barn. There
is a pig in the barn & I am alergic to this type of animal."
His Villanova friend agrees to swap places with him. But a few minutes
late the same scene reoccurs. There is a knock on the door.
"What's wrong, now?" the farmer asks.
The Villanova student replies, "I too am grateful for your helping us out
but there is a cow in the barn and I'm alergic to cows. I can't sleep in the
barn!"
Well, that leaves only the UNC student to make the change. He grumbled
and complained, but went out to the barn.
Moments later there was another knock on the farmers door.
Frustrated and tired, the farmer opens the door, and there stood.... The
pig and the cow.
.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
from UNC had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night
with a farmer.
The farmer said "There might be a problem; you see, I only have room for
two to sleep, so one of you must sleep in the barn."
"No problem," chimed the Vandy student, "My dormatory is old and
I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for an evening."
With that he departed to the barn and the others bedded down for the night.
Moments later a knock was heard at the door; the farmer opened the door.
There stood the Vandy student from the barn.
"What's wrong?" asked the farmer.
He replied, "I am grateful to you, but I can't sleep in the barn. There
is a pig in the barn & I am alergic to this type of animal."
His Villanova friend agrees to swap places with him. But a few minutes
late the same scene reoccurs. There is a knock on the door.
"What's wrong, now?" the farmer asks.
The Villanova student replies, "I too am grateful for your helping us out
but there is a cow in the barn and I'm alergic to cows. I can't sleep in the
barn!"
Well, that leaves only the UNC student to make the change. He grumbled
and complained, but went out to the barn.
Moments later there was another knock on the farmers door.
Frustrated and tired, the farmer opens the door, and there stood.... The
pig and the cow.
.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
A UNC student in tears called her father.
"What's the matter?" asked the father.
"You gave me some bad financial advise," she said.
"I did? What did I tell you?"
"You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big
bank is in trouble."
"What are you talking about, that's one of the largest banks in the
world," he said, "surely there must be some mistake."
"I don't think so," said the girl, "they just returned one of my checks
with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."
===============
March 17, 1958
After a first failed attempt, the US satellite Vanguard 1 was finally
launched with great success. The first solar-powered satellite,
Vanguard 1 established the "pear shape" of the Earth, that is, it
showed that the planet is elongated around the North Pole and
flattened around the South Pole.
Vanguard 1 was a small sphere of 6.4 inches (16.5 cm) and four antennas:
===============
Depressed, Troubled, Worried???
Big Problems???
Want to talk with a LIVE trained counselor???
Want to get REAL help???
(FREE - English/Spanish)
1-800-633-3446
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')
===============
*March 23, 1775
US patriot and lawyer Patrick Henry delivered a moving speech
for arming the Virginia militia against the English in Richmond,
Virginia. During his speech he said, "I know not what course others
may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death."
Henry became known as "the Orator of Liberty":
http://www.history.org/Almanack/life/politics/giveme.cfm
http://www.history.org/
{Double click on the web address above for additional information:}
===============
"How to Be Sure You're
a REAL Christian"
1-888-NEED-HIM
(24/7 - free call)
===============
The largest known nebula (cloud of gas and dust) is the Tarantula
Nebula, named for its shape. More than 1000 light years across, it
is one hundred times larger than the famous Orion Nebula.
The Tarantula Nebula is about 165,000 light years from Earth, in a
small, nearby galaxy called the Large Magellanic Cloud. It's the
only extra-galactic (outside of our galaxy) nebula that can be seen
without a telescope. If it were as close as the Orion Nebula (about
1500 light years) it would be as wide as 60 full moons, and bright
enough to cast shadows.
Nebulas like the Tarantula are the birthplaces of new stars, which
collapse at the center of swirling whirlpools. Our solar system was
possibly created within such a nebula. For further detail see Genesis 1.
Pictures of the Tarantula Nebula:
http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/ap991026.html
http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/ap991027.html
.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
"What's the matter?" asked the father.
"You gave me some bad financial advise," she said.
"I did? What did I tell you?"
"You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big
bank is in trouble."
"What are you talking about, that's one of the largest banks in the
world," he said, "surely there must be some mistake."
"I don't think so," said the girl, "they just returned one of my checks
with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."
===============
March 17, 1958
After a first failed attempt, the US satellite Vanguard 1 was finally
launched with great success. The first solar-powered satellite,
Vanguard 1 established the "pear shape" of the Earth, that is, it
showed that the planet is elongated around the North Pole and
flattened around the South Pole.
Vanguard 1 was a small sphere of 6.4 inches (16.5 cm) and four antennas:
===============
Depressed, Troubled, Worried???
Big Problems???
Want to talk with a LIVE trained counselor???
Want to get REAL help???
(FREE - English/Spanish)
1-800-633-3446
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')
===============
*March 23, 1775
US patriot and lawyer Patrick Henry delivered a moving speech
for arming the Virginia militia against the English in Richmond,
Virginia. During his speech he said, "I know not what course others
may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death."
Henry became known as "the Orator of Liberty":
http://www.history.org/Almanack/life/politics/giveme.cfm
http://www.history.org/
{Double click on the web address above for additional information:}
===============
"How to Be Sure You're
a REAL Christian"
1-888-NEED-HIM
(24/7 - free call)
===============
The largest known nebula (cloud of gas and dust) is the Tarantula
Nebula, named for its shape. More than 1000 light years across, it
is one hundred times larger than the famous Orion Nebula.
The Tarantula Nebula is about 165,000 light years from Earth, in a
small, nearby galaxy called the Large Magellanic Cloud. It's the
only extra-galactic (outside of our galaxy) nebula that can be seen
without a telescope. If it were as close as the Orion Nebula (about
1500 light years) it would be as wide as 60 full moons, and bright
enough to cast shadows.
Nebulas like the Tarantula are the birthplaces of new stars, which
collapse at the center of swirling whirlpools. Our solar system was
possibly created within such a nebula. For further detail see Genesis 1.
Pictures of the Tarantula Nebula:
http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/ap991026.html
http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/ap991027.html
.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace.
Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until
you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand
Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser
printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.
Q. This is the only food that doesn't spoil.
A. Honey
Q. There are more collect calls on this day than any other day of the year.
A. Father's Day
Q. What trivia fact about Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) is the most ironic?
A. He was allergic to carrots.
Q. An activity of 40% of all people at a party
A. Snoop in your medicine cabinet.
Q. What occurs more often in December than any other month?
A. Conception.
Q. What separates "60 Minutes," on CBS from every other TV show?
A. No theme song.
===============
Observations~~~
I finally figured out what 'Delta' stands for: Don't Expect
Legroom on This Airline.
The speed of a car in front of you is inversely proportional
to the number of minutes you are late for work!
Insanity doesn't run in my family, it gallops!
.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
Post a Comment
A. Their birthplace.
Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until
you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand
Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser
printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.
Q. This is the only food that doesn't spoil.
A. Honey
Q. There are more collect calls on this day than any other day of the year.
A. Father's Day
Q. What trivia fact about Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) is the most ironic?
A. He was allergic to carrots.
Q. An activity of 40% of all people at a party
A. Snoop in your medicine cabinet.
Q. What occurs more often in December than any other month?
A. Conception.
Q. What separates "60 Minutes," on CBS from every other TV show?
A. No theme song.
===============
Observations~~~
I finally figured out what 'Delta' stands for: Don't Expect
Legroom on This Airline.
The speed of a car in front of you is inversely proportional
to the number of minutes you are late for work!
Insanity doesn't run in my family, it gallops!
.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
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