This Blog -
Moved To:
http://professor-howdy.blogspot.com/

That's strange: half my ancestors are WOMEN!


===============


"I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to man.
All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to
us through this book." -- President Abraham Lincoln

"For we must consider that we shall be as a City upon a hill.
The eyes of all people are upon us. So that if we shall deal
falsely with our God in this work we have undertaken, and
so cause Him to withdraw his present help from us, we
shall be made a story and a byword throughout the world."
--John Winthrop, Governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, 1630

"It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and
the Bible." - President George Washington

"The Bible is no mere book, but a Living Creature, with a
power that conquers all that oppose it." - Napoleon

"That Book accounts for the supremacy of England."
- Queen Victoria

"If there is anything in my thought or style to commend ,
the credit is due my parents for instilling in me an early
love of the Scriptures. If we abide by the principals taught
in the Bible, our country will go on prospering and to prosper;
but if we and our posterity neglect its instructions and authority,
no man can tell how sudden a catastrophe may overwhelm us and
bury all our glory in profound obscurity." - Daniel Webster (Founding Father)

"The Bible is worth all other books which have ever been printed."
- Patrick Henry (original member of the Continental Congress)

"The Bible is the anchor of our liberties." - President U.S. Grant

"It is impossible to enslave mentally or socially a Bible-reading people.
The principals of the Bible are the groundwork of human freedom."
- Horace Greeley (Editor)

"That Book is the rock on which our Republic rests." - President Andrew Jackson

"In all my perplexities and distresses, the Bible has never failed to give me
light and strength." - Gen. Robert E. Lee

"Bible reading is an education in itself." - Lord Tennyson (Poet)

"So great is my veneration for the Bible that the earlier my children begin
to read it the more confident will be my hope that they will prove useful
citizens of their country and respectable members of society. I have for
many years made it a practice to read through the Bible once every year."
- President John Quincy Adams

"The existence of the Bible, as a Book for the people, is the greatest
benefit which the human race has ever experienced. Every attempt to
belittle it is a crime against humanity." - Immanuel Kant (Philosopher)

"The New Testament is the very best Book that ever or ever will be
known in the world." - Charles Dickens (Author)

"All human discoveries seem to be made only for the purpose of
confirming more and more strongly the truths contained in the
Sacred Scriptures." - Sir William Herschel (Astronomer)

"There are more sure marks of authenticity in the Bible than in
any profane history." - Sir Isaac Newton (Scientist)

"Let mental culture go on advancing, let the natural sciences
progress in even greater extent and depth, and the human
mind widen itself as much as it desires; beyond the elevation
and moral culture of Christianity, as it shines forth in the Gospels,
it will not go." - Goethe (Author)

"I have known ninety-five of the world's great men in my time,
and of these eight-seven were followers of the Bible. The Bible
is stamped with a Specialty of Origin, and an immeasurable
distance separates it from all competitors." - W.E. Gladstone (Prime Minister)

"Whatever merit there is in anything that I have written is simply
due to the fact that when I was a chile my mother daily read me
a part of the Bible and daily made me learn a part of it by heart."
- John Ruskin (art critic and social commentator)

"The Bible has been the Magna Charta of the poor and oppressed.
The human race is not in a position to dispense with it." - Thomas
Huxley (Author & Scientist)

"The whole hope of human progress is suspended on the ever
growing influence of the Bible." - W.H. Seward (Secretary of State)

"America was born a Christian nation. America was born
to exemplify that devotion to the elements of righteousness,
which are derived from the revelations of Holy Scriptures.
Part of the destiny of Americans lies in their daily perusal
of this great book of revelations. That if they would see
America free and pure they will make their own spirits
free and pure by this baptism of the Holy Spirit."
--President Woodrow Wilson

"It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this
great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians;
not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ. For this
very reason peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum,
prosperity, and freedom of worship here."
--Patrick Henry (original member of the Continental Congress)


===============


Q: Why is 'Thought & Humor' so long?
A: All newspapers & magazines are long!

Q: What if I can't read all of it?
A: Delete it. Most folks don't read every word in every newspaper/magazine either?

Q: Am I required to memorize each article?
A: Nope! Delete what you don't have time for or save for another time.

Q: Is 'T & H' Spam?
A: No, it's made entirely of ham.

Q: Can I forward to friends & family?
A: Please do.

Q: How many people have had opportunity to read 'T & H' E-Mail Newspapers?
A: Well over 1 million + many forwards by you.

Q: Who is Howdy?
A: We let him think he's the boss...

===============



Four Important Things To KNOW:

1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus,
Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist,
Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned
& fall short of the glory of God.

2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal
separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at
no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is
Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ
(God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of
Peace & Savior of the World).

3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world
(Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist,
Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians,
Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up
His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone,
anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in,
relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall
have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven).

4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE.
No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic,
Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist,
Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives)
to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through)
ME (no other name).

This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - -
(Rev. 3:20)

{Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good
things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian -
however they are great afterwards!!!}
Ref: http://www.gty.org/IssuesandAnswers/archive/baptism.htm

Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that
leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment),
and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow
the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness,
forever with God), and only a few find it. --Matthew 7:13-14

Send any comments for Howdy to:
your-bestfriend4u@juno.com
If published in 'T & H', millions
could see your annotation.

===============



Take the best medicine of all for what ails you -- laughter:
"Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects."
--Arnold Glasow
"Laughter is by definition healthy."
--Doris Lessing
"If somebody makes me laugh, I'm his slave for life."
--Bette Midler
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."
--Mark Twain
"What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul."
-- Yiddish Proverb
"Laughter is an instant vacation."
-- Milton Berle
"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."
-- Victor Borge

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the
heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time
to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a
time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a
time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. (King Solomon)

NOTICE: The jokes published in this list were either submitted
directly to 'Thought & Humor' or are, we believe, in the public
domain. If you think that we have published a joke without
giving proper credit to its author/owner, please let us know
and we will provide appropriate credit in a future mailing.



++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The "E-Mail Newspaper" containing 'Thought & Humor'
is sent out FREE via e-mail w/o ads. This information
was sent to you because you made the request, 'Thought
& Humor' is one small attempt to obey "The Great Com-
mission". First published in the last century (July 26, 1997).
Soli Deo Gloria...
________ "E-Mail Newspaper (Free4u)" _________
References gleaned for great humor & information: Merry Heart,
Thomas S. Elworth, Funny List, MeMail, Daily Dose, Joke of the
Day, Kim Komando, Shagmail, MIKEY'S FUNNIES , The Daily
Tease, Crosswalk.com, humorcartoons@arcamax.com & MSKitty.
Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.


'Thought & Humor' respects your privacy and wishes to honor
your desires to not receive e-mail from us if that's your choice,
and we apologize if any message causes any inconvenience
to you or your computer. We have never given any reader's
e-mail addresses to a third party & have no plans to do such
unless the price is right:o) (Liberals please note - that was
humor) The E-Mail Newspaper is sent to you with love.

Notice: 'Thought & Humor' uses Norton Antivirus for our readers' protection.


===============

Party Quiz Answers

1. What do golfers enjoy in their salads? GREENS
2. What do anatomy specialists have for dinner? SPARE RIBS
3. What vegetables do goldsmiths eat? CARROTS
4. What icy treat do gamblers love more than anything? SHERBET
5. What dish do you serve when you need a favor? CURRY
6. What did the quality-control expert refuse to eat? SECONDS
7. What was the cheerleader's favourite beverage? ROOT BEER
8. What was the loner's favorite fish? SOLE
9. What did the Scandinavian cannibal eat for dinner? SWEDE
10. What is Lassie's favorite vegetable? CAULIFLOWER
11. What do ministers eat for dessert? DIVINITY
12. What does the Psychiatrist like to snack on after dinner? NUTS
13. What is a photographer's favorite canape? CHEESE
14. What do plumbers eat as a first course? LEEKS
15. What is an amateur radio operator's favorite snack? HAM
16. What does an educator eat for lunch? ALPHABET SOUP
17. What breakfast cereal does a magician eat for breakfast? TRIX
18. What cereal do British gents eat for breakfast? CHEERIOS
19. What does a cosmetics manufacturer eat for breakfast? PANCAKES
20. What is a surveyor's favourite cut of meat? STEAK
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Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought
& Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
of your choice from the list below:

1) French university students
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring
to Duke, NCSU, JSU, MSU. UGA, or FSU.


===============






A Week's Worth Of GREAT Reading Just For You!!!
Howdy's address:
ua_humor_club-subscribe@yahoogroups.com




===============



"Thought & Humor" has been read in all 50 States,
70 Countries, 7 Continents, many Island Nations,
Oxford, Cambridge, every Ivy League School
& all major American Universities including UNC!!!



===============



If you would like to write Howdy (he reads all of them),
send an amicable, meticulous, penurious or factious e-mail to:





Howdy -
without you I will die! I have to have my Howdy
in some way shape or form...
Lisa (Washburn U.)


+++

Dear Howdy,
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places.
He told me to quit going to those places.
Henny Y.

+++

Dear Howdy,

Thank you,

Prog.TJSmiley
Cambridge


+++

Dear Howdy, .
I am enjoying all the "goodies" you send. Keep up the good work!

*From Betty.....retired and loving it!

"The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble. He knows those
who trust in Him." Nahum 1:7

+++

Dear Howdy,
Thanks for the laughs..........
-Loren

+++

Dear Howdy,

Thanks, I really enjoy
receiving your e-mail newspaper!
H.
Vanderbilt

+++

Dear Howdy,

I enjoy your newsletter very much. Keep up the good
work.
Thank's
Kristen

+++

Dear Howdy,
Thanks once again!
Shirl

+++

Dear Howdy,

Dear Howdy, I don't know how I started getting these news letters,
but most of the jokes are funny and I don't mind that
much. However I would like to ask how you recieved
the name "Howdy". I would also like to thank you for
using it in everyday language. As an Aggie (one who
attended Texas A&M University), "Howdy!" is an
everyday word. It is the word tradionally used to
greet other Aggies. However, in the past few years
the university has wanted to put a stop to the use of
the word, "Howdy!", saying that it makes us look
stupid and hickish. They say this is not the way a
"world class university" should act. I'm glad to know
that UNC has people just as "stupid and hickish"
Thanks for indirectly keeping the tradition alive.

Erin

+

Dear Erin, Thanks for your really nice letter!!! Howdy got started with what
people began their letters to me in the beginning so I just continued the
tradition. Hope everyone at Texas A & M will continue also with their
traditions no matter what the 'old foggies' say!!!

Happy Autumn,
Howdy

P.S. I went to UNC's rival...


+++

Dear Howdy, As one from Texas, "Howdy" is used quite often and not just by
Aggies from Texas A & M. And since we are on the subject, the UNC jokes
are the same down here in Texas, but we call them Aggie Jokes. So, should
I be offended too? I think not. Keep up the good work.
See Ya'll Later.
Sar

+++

Howdy,


Dear Howdy, I can totally understand your lack
of time, and thank you for sharing some of your
precious free time creating and circulating "Though
& Humor". I truly enjoy it!

God Bless, and keep a keen eye out for whatever
opportunities God may present to you...

Mrs. C.P.


+++


hey howdy,

i really enjoy your e-mails (keep up the good work!),
and especially the riddles...and i try hard to solve
them no matter how difficult they seem.

Mary (Canada)






Please note that our policy allows for us to receive
threats on alternate Tuesdays when the Moon is waning only...

===============



Roger was the father of a friend of mine, and he was a very successful
businessman. That's probably why a neighbor approached Roger one day
and asked him if he wanted to be involved in a new hamburger chain he was
starting. It was a little outfit called McDonald's. Roger was offered the
fourth franchise in this brand new venture and a founding share. Roger
thought about it and then said, "No, thanks." Ouch! Later, another neighbor
came to Roger and told him about this new business he was launching called
Service Master. Would Roger like to get in the ground floor with an
investment? Roger thought about and then he said, "No, thanks." Double ouch!
As McDonald's and Service Master grew to be some of the most successful
companies in the world, I wonder what must have gone through Roger's mind.
He had been on the brink of so much wealth, but he missed it because of one
decision.

Tragically, so many of God's children have made those same kinds of
decisions. You may be on the edge of one right now. God is ready to include
you in some wonderful blessing He wants to bring into your life, but whether
or not you get what He wants to give you depends on a decision you make. You
may be on the threshold of treasure He wants to give you - it may be an
emotional treasure, a financial blessing, the answer to a long-prayed
prayer, a special relationship, a new beginning, maybe a greater impact in
your ministry, or a breakthrough in some impossible situation. But, like
that man who missed his share of Ronald McDonald's fortune, it may all come
down to your making the right decision.

It did for God's ancient people in our word for today from the Word
of God. It's in Numbers 13, beginning with verse 30. The Jews are on the
brink of incredible blessing as they stand at the border of the Promised
Land. Twelve scouts return from that land with a bunch of grapes so large
that it takes two men to carry them on a pole - just a taste of the blessing
God has in store. But, like most decisions that lead to great blessing,
there are great challenges to face on the way to the blessing. In this case,
walled cities and giants in the land.

One of the scouts, Caleb, says to the people, "'We should go up and
take possession of the land." But the men who had gone up with him said, 'We
can't...'" There are the two voices that fight it out on the brink of great
blessing - "We should." ... "We can't."

Caleb and Joshua see the people are ready to retreat. So, they tell
them, "The land ... is exceedingly good ... the Lord will give it to us.
Only do not rebel ... do not be afraid ... the Lord is with us" (Numbers
14:7-9). The giants looked bigger than the Lord to those people, and they
make their decision. The challenge is just too great - we won't go for it.
And God says, here are His words: "Not one of you will enter the land I
swore with uplifted hand to make your home. Your children will be suffering
for your unfaithfulness. You will suffer for your sins and know what it is
like to have Me against you" (Numbers 14:30-34). Wow.

God said to His ancient people - and perhaps to you and me, "There
is so much I have wanted to give you, but you made the wrong choice. You
focused on the obstacles, on your inadequacy, on the negative input, and not
on My power and My promise. You will never see the great blessing I wanted
you to have."

Just as a businessman learned when he passed up what turned out to
be a golden - actually, golden arches - opportunity, you can miss great
treasure if you make the wrong decision. The decisions you make really
matter. You may be standing on the edge of great blessing right now, facing
a great challenge. Making the right decision means having the right focus -
on your great God, not on the giants. "The land is exceedingly good ... do
not rebel ... do not be afraid ... the Lord is with you." Ron Hutchcraft





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