A man came across a striking brass rat in an antique store and decided it would look great on his desk. He paid $100 for it but was surprised when the proprietor insisted it was non-returnable. He said, "It's been returned twice already, and I don't want to see it again." Leaving the store, the man saw a couple of rats scurrying around the corner; several more were near his car. As he drove, rats appeared from the gutters and side streets until he was nearly overwhelmed. In panic, he threw the brass rat over a bridge railing into a river, and witnessed the army of live rats follow into the depths. The man hurried back to the store, but the owner cut him short, saying, "Look, I told you there would be no returns." The man quickly replied, " Oh no, that's fine. I was just wondering if you had a brass lawyer."
Comment & Forward>>>
Permission is hereby granted for you to change all humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought & Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another of your choice from the list below:
1) French university students 2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley 3) Any accredited high school or middle school 4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits 5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops 6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring to Duke, NCSU, JSU, MSU. UGA, or FSU.
A Week's Worth Of GREAT Reading Just For You!!! Howdy's address: firstname.lastname@example.org
"Thought & Humor" has been read in all 50 States, 70 Countries, 7 Continents, many Island Nations, Oxford, Cambridge, every Ivy League School & all major American Universities including UNC!!!
If you would like to write Howdy (he reads all of them), send an amicable, meticulous, penurious or factious e-mail to:
Howdy's address: http://write-howdy.blogspot.com/
Please tell us your general location (State, School, Country). All letters sent to Howdy might be printed unless you request otherwise. Letters marked "anonymous" may be printed but without the name. Your e-mail address will not be shown.
I have been getting the E-mail Newspaper for some time now, but over the weekend, my hard drive crashed and I lost all my e-mail, I was wondering if you could send some of the back issues. I am a Youth Pastor and I use the jokes often when I am speaking to teens.
I would appreciate any of the back issues you could send, thanks.
Because He Lives Mark
You may have heard in the news that a couple of Post Offices in Texas have been forced to take down small posters that say "IN GOD WE TRUST." The law, they say, is being violated. It is something silly about electioneering posters (is God running for office)?
Anyway, I heard proposed on a radio station show, that we all write "IN GOD WE "TRUST" on the back of all our mail After all, that is our national motto, and it's on all the money we use to buy those stamps. I think it is a wonderful idea.
We must take back our nation from all the people that thinkthat anything that offends them should be removed. (AMEN TO THAT!)
If you like this idea, please pass it on, and DO IT. The idea of writing or stamping "IN GOD WE TRUST" on our envelopes sounds good to me. It has been reported that 86% of Americans believe in God. Therefore, I have a very hard time understanding why there is such a mess about having "In God We Trust" on our money and having God in the pledge of Allegiance.
Could it be that we just need to take action and tell the 14% to sit down and shut up?
Dear Howdy, I'd like receive via e-mail a copy of your newspaper. I saw a friends (in the office) and I really thought it was nice.
My e-mail address is: _____________
Thank you and Best regards
I HAVE COMPLAINED TO THE YAHOO GROUPS PEOPLE ABOUT HARASSMENT – THIS WORTHLESS E-MAIL IS CLUTTERING UP MY E-MAIL INBOX...
Dr. Victoria J. Davis
Director of Internships
Dear Howdy, One of your subscribers recommended your list on the our-kids (a forum for families with children with disabilities) listserv. I am in Island County, WA. Sue
Hi! I just got your newsletter for the first time, It is unlike any other I have seen! Absolutely Beautiful!! I am so glad I signed up for it! I read every single word! I do have a question, I would love to have the fonts you used, do you know where I could find them??
Thank You So Much! Keep up the good work! Deanne
Hi Howdy! I absolutely love your newsletter! I have a favor to ask of you. I will be leading a high school-aged youth Bible study-fellowship time in August for the youth at my home church. I need something fabulous, outrageous, something to blow their minds away... something totally GOD! Do you have any ideas or suggestions, any devotions, stories, cartoons, anything that can help me get across to them that they are beautifully and wonderfully made? That God is awesome?
Thanks for your help! You're doing a great job with your witnessing! God bless! bonnie MSU (Mississippi State University)
Dear Sirs, I just recieved an issue of "thought and Humor". It is a great E-Mail newspaper. I don't know who sent in my name and e-mail address, but i truly thank them for it. I would like to receive a copy every issue you send.Must I sign up or register or will this letter be sufficient. Thank you.
Yours in Christ, Frank
Please note that our policy allows for us to receive threats on alternate Tuesdays when the Moon is waning only...
Even though I was very busy speaking at a conference, I was blessed with a beautiful mountain cabin as my accommodation while I was there. The best time, and about the only time I could enjoy it, was early in the morning. This cabin has a large porch from which you can see majestic forest views and an awe-inspiring tapestry of green mountains and deep valleys. As I stepped out onto that porch one morning, the scenery had undergone a significant makeover. The fog was winning. I watched as these large clouds of fog billowed up, first filling the valley below and then steadily rising to totally obscure the mountains. It looked almost as if the mountains were being consumed by fog. So, the morning light from the sun that should have been illuminating the area by that time was nowhere to be seen. Well, briefly. You know what happened. The sun continued to rise behind the conquering fog, and in a short time, that fog began to quickly shrink - and soon disappear.
The fog never really stands a chance - it's no match for the inevitable victory of the sun - in a majestic mountain landscape, or in the dark moments of your life and mine. And it could be that you're in one of those seasons right now. It's been a time of loss, of grief, of doubt and confusion, of a prodigal loved one, of no answers. Maybe you've been walking through a fog where evil seems to be winning; where injustice seems to be prevailing. The fog has rolled into your life and obscured things you were once so sure of. It's covered the joy you once had with a sense of sadness and fear and even thoughts of giving up.
But if you belong to the Sovereign Lord, the One who rules the galaxies and cares about your daily bread, the fog cannot ultimately win! The sun of God's power and love on your life is more powerful than the fog in your valley, no matter how dense and stubborn that fog may seem to be. Psalm 84:11 promises that "the Lord God is a sun and a shield ... no good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless."
And in our word for today from the Word of God, you have five hope-filled words straight from your Father's heart to yours. They're in Psalm 112:4 - "Even in darkness light dawns." Okay, let's get the context of that promise for every foggy day. "Even in darkness light dawns for the upright, for the gracious and compassionate and righteous man." Don't let the darkness change the kind of person you are. Your mission is to keep on being gracious, keep on being upright, keep on being compassionate. Don't let the light inside you go out. Psalm 112 goes on to say: "Good will come to him ... surely he will never be shaken ... he will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord ... in the end he will look in triumph on his foes."
Bottom line: the fog that seems so impenetrable right now actually stands no chance against the rising Sun of your Lord's breakthrough. The evil may have its hour of filling your horizon, but Sun is going to win! The grief will not last forever. Your prodigal will one day be carried home in the shoulders of the Good Shepherd. The doubts you're having in the darkness cannot change what you heard from God when it was light. The answers you need will break through your confusion and struggle. The sadness of the fog is going to succumb to the joy of God's much more powerful sunlight.
Yes, the fog has been billowing up, filling your view - and maybe even making you forget the sun sometimes. But the fog can never ultimately win. Don't lose hope now. Don't stop trusting now. Don't stop doing what you know is right just because the fog has rolled in. The light may have been delayed, but there's no way it can be cancelled. "Even in darkness light dawns." The sun's coming up, and the fog doesn't stand a chance! Ron Hutchcraft
Send any comments for Howdy to: email@example.com If published in 'T & H', millions could see your annotation.
Listen with RealAudio! http://www.gospelcom.net/rhm/sounds/awwy/awwy4316.ram
To subscribe to "A Word With You," send a blank email to: firstname.lastname@example.org