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...By Dr. Howdy

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Where Our Last 100 Readers Were Located

Num Perc. Country Name
drill down3233.68%United StatesUnited States
drill down2021.05%New ZealandNew Zealand
drill down1010.53%EgyptEgypt
drill down77.37%IndiaIndia
drill down44.21%Unknown-
drill down44.21%CanadaCanada
drill down44.21%GhanaGhana
drill down44.21%GermanyGermany
drill down22.11%BelgiumBelgium
drill down22.11%United KingdomUnited Kingdom
drill down22.11%BarbadosBarbados
drill down22.11%CubaCuba
drill down11.05%AustraliaAustralia
drill down11.05%JapanJapan

Making rounds one morning, a doctor points out
an X-ray to a group of UNC medical students.

As you can see," he says, "the patient limps because
his left fibula and tibia are radically arched.

Bernie, what would you do in a case like this?"

"Hmmnn...," ponders the student, "Yes... I suppose I'd limp too."



1) My host thinks I'm an irritation, a bother, a pain.
But he can't evict me, so here I will remain. Then
one day I'm taken and ranked among my peers. Can you
guess just what I am? Then you might call me dear.

2) I start with the letter e,
I end with the letter e.
I contain only one letter,
Yet I am not the letter e!

What am I?

3) Here is a quotation with all the spaces and vowels removed.
What is the quotation?


***Answers will be in the NEXT issue***

Last issue's answers:

1) I know a thousand faces,
and count the tailed heads,
feasting bright upon the eyes,
of many who have died.
wielding well a mighty power,
who hath but humble stature.
Masses fall upon their knees,
to scare behold my only side!

A coin

2) I say everything I hear to others around.
I'm not an animal, nor part of the human race.
I will, immediately, repeat after you;
But only if my tail is in place.
What am I?

A microphone

3) With pointed fangs it sits and waits,
With piercing force its doles out fate,
Over bloodless victims proclaiming its might,
Eternally joining in a single bite.
What am I?

Staple or stapler

Read what you have time for below & save
the rest for a rainy/tempestuous/dilatory time.

To those who've asked: We received your address from
a friend of yours, your Mom, or perhaps even a caring
professor. Additionally, some received "Thought & Humor"
because they were either predestined or kismet got involved
(which do you think is right). Please enjoy...


What do you call four UNC students in a Volkswagon?


Someone took this picture of Howdy recently:



The culture gives lots of reasons young women shouldn't marry.
But are they the real reasons?

{Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor'}



Match the words in the left-hand column with the correct
definition in the right-hand column. The answer key is
listed at the bottom of this award winning newspaper.

1. inimical A. Causing sleep; tending to cause sleep
2. exheredate B. Malicious satisfaction
3. palpable C. Glorification
4. captious D. To disinherit
5. soporific E. A companion; an associate
6. exigent F. Capable of being touched and felt
7. schadenfreude G. A beginner in learning; a novice
8. concomitant H. Requiring immediate aid or action
9. superlation I. An enemy; unfriendly; unfavorable
10. tyro J. Finds fault or raises objections



Howdy's E-Mail Address located below!!!


No trees were killed in the sending of this message. However
a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.


A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new UNC*
grad with a PhD degree in business administration to be boss. This
new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers...

On a tour of the facilities, the Boss notices a guy leaning on a wall.
The room is full of workers and he thinks this is his chance to show
everyone he means business!

The Boss walks up the guy and asks, "And how much money do you
make a week?"

Unflinching, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make
$500.00 a week. Why?"

The Boss then hands the guy $500 in cash and screams, "Here's a
week's pay; now GET OUT and don't come back!"

Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the Boss looks around the
room and asks, "Does anyone want to tell me what that slacker did

Just then the foreman comes into the room with a package in his hand.
He looks around and says, "Hey! What happened to the UPS man?"

*UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill.
Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including:
B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), A.P.E., B.R.C.
(Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898
for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were
unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher
learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State.


Dear Howdy,

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.
They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

Tommy C. (UNC)


Due to the fact that America & its Allies are now in a just war,
all military personnel may receive 'Thought & Humor' FREE.
Send their e-mail address for their free subscription to:

Howdy's address below


Why did the three little pigs leave home?

Their father was an awful boar.



Address Change

Don't be without 'Thought & Humor' this Spring should
your address (college students, military, rich people, etc.)
change. Subscribe your new address at:

Howdy's E-Mail Address located below!!!

It's hard to impress the opposite sex without 'Thought & Humor'
combined with moonlight, candlelight dinners, ocean breezes, and Howdy...


One day, a housework-challenged hubby decided to wash his sweatshirt.

Seconds after he stepped up to the washing machine, he shouted to his
wife, "Honey, what setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," she replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "UNC!"


In the land of Liars and Truthtellers there were two
families a little different from the general population.
The Smith's, who told the truth only in the morning and
lie in the afternoon, and the Jones' who speak the truth
only in the afternoon and lie in the morning.

You meet one person from each of these families on the
street but you are not sure which is which. They make
the following statements:

A: It is afternoon
B: My last name is Jones.

Who is who, and is it morning or afternoon?

(Answer below)


Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought
& Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
of your choice from the list below:

1) Any French or German school
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring
to Duke, NCSU, JSU, M.S.U. or Florida State.


Dear Howdy,

It's not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.

Phil W.


One day a State Trooper was pulling off an expressway near
UNC. When he turned onto the street at the end of the
ramp, he noticed someone at a chicken place getting into
his car. The driver placed the bucket of chicken on top of
his car, got in and drove off with the bucket still on top
of his car.

So the trooper decides to pull him over and perform a com-
munity service by giving the driver his chicken. So he
pulled him over, walked up to the car, pulled the bucket
off the roof and offered it to the driver. The driver
looks at the trooper and says, "No thanks, I just bought some."


"Thought & Humor" is now read in all 50 States,
61 Countries, ALL 7 Continents, many Island Nations,
Oxford, Cambridge, every Ivy League School
& all major American Universities including UNC!!!


"It is now possible to protest in front of the White House
by hiring a stand in. I am not making this up. You email
this company on what issue you are mad about and they pro-
vide you with a sign and your own personalized protester
to stand in front of the White House. Now how lazy is this
generation? Isn't that the ultimate irony, you send some-
body in your place to picket against the war?" --Jay Leno


When my husband and I showed up at a very popular Chapel
Hill restaurant, it was crowded. I went up to the hostess and
asked, "Will it be long?"

The hostess, ignoring me, kept writing in her book. I asked
again, "How much of a wait?"

The woman looked up and said, "About ten minutes."

A short time later, we heard an announcement over the loud-
speaker: "Willette B. Long, your table is ready."



If you would like to write Howdy (he reads all of them),
send a amicable, meticulous, factidious or assiduous e-mail
to the following:

Howdy's E-Mail Address located below!!!

Dear Howdy,

Can you add to the mailing list? thanks

Rachel (Truman U.)


Dearest Rachel,

Yes, if he's someone special!!!

Your Devoted Friend,


hi howdy, i'd love to get your emails at my new address INSTEAD of this one.

my new address is

John (MSU)


Dear Howdy, Sprechen Zie Duetch?? sp?? Why did you start your newsletter
on the mentioned date??? How do you feel about photovoltaics in space????
How is Siberia??? HOw is Iraq??? Are you Christian??? Are you Jewish???
Are You Muslim???? Are you a transendentalist????



Dear Carla,

I would hope you could tell these answers after reading a
few issues other than no German & it was a wonderful day.




I am military personnel and I would like to recieve
your though and humor e-mails. I like your e-mails
and Is there anyway you could re-direct them to this
e-mail address?


K.D. (U.S. Navy)


Dear K.D.,

Yes & thanks for serving our country...
Your Devoted Friend,



Personally, Hired Howdy Hunters should get a life and try doing something
useful on the web, like tracking down computer virus geeks or real spammers.
Last year I wrote back to a spammer because I was so annoyed (never do
this!), but it turned out to be some woman 50 miles away who had her address
"stolen" and put in their from: line... however they did that!

How long have you been doing Thought & Humor? I only recently got
subscribed mysteriously.... I'm assuming somehow you got a hold of Regent
University's grapevine. A couple I know got subbed on at his work and at
home. She and I were talking about how much we love T&H, when he suddenly
piped in "you mean it's not just spam? I've been deleting it!" And he
bagan to read T&H! Considering that he's the Grapevine's unofficial joke
poster, I was amazed that he didn't find you first!

I was passing on jokes to a 14 year old friend of mine, and now she's a
subscriber, too!

Personally, it's so long I don't know how you have time for it, but God
bless Howdy!


Dear Howdy,

You're jokes aren't funny, which is why I'm sure you're not
a professional comedian. Please don't subject me to your
amateur ____. Don't send me any additional e-mail. I will take action.

Eric Lee Bucey


Dear Eric,

A shrimp sole my girl; I lobster and haven't flounder!

Your Devoted Friend,

P.S. Please note that we respect your right to send threatening
e-mail however our policy allows for us to receive threats
on alternate Tuesdays when the Moon is waning only...



Please subscribe the following people to "Thought & Humour":

I am sure that they will enjoy it as much as I do...
quite a lot

BMW (Canada)


Dear Howdy,

In a recent issue of your email newspaper I read the following

"Please note: If you see a UNC student or a liberal reading
'Thought & Humor', please explain to them which is thought
& which is humor. They always get it backwards......."

I am a liberal, and have been reading this e-newspaper for several months.
Although I do not agree with many, many of the points of view of your
publication, I have always enjoyed the humor inherent in it, until now.

I had never really considered this paper a Conservative publication for
conservative minds until now. Ironically the comment is intended to suggest
that Liberals (and UNC students) do not have a sense of humor or are too
foolish to differentiate between humor and thought. So I propose a
question: Since this joke is meant to single out a group of people whose
ideals obvioulsy differ from the publshers of this publication, why stop
there? Why not include black jokes, polish jokes, or make fun of the jews?
Heck, we you could even make this a publication aimed soully at Republicans
and oil barrons. You may want to try to get as many people in the NRA on
your mailing list too. They would think this is a hoot.

Oops, guess I was getting my thought and my humor confused again. Or might
it have been that your humor was absence of thought? Hmmmm...

Mr. Koalani Colvin (


Dear Mr. Colvin,

I don't suppose that you would believe me if I told you that statement has
been in 'T & H' for years. It's really difficult for me not to make fun of
Democrats but I try hard not to. How about this however:

Babies' Mental Delay Tied to Moms' Vegan Diet

(AP) - The breast-fed infants of two mothers who did not
eat any animal products, including milk and eggs, developed brain
abnormalities as a result of a vitamin-B12 deficiency, the US Centers for
Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reported Thursday. The primary sources
of vitamin B12, which is essential for brain development, are animal
products like meat, dairy products and eggs. Since the mothers ate little or
no animal products, too little vitamin B12 was transmitted to their children
through breast milk, according to the CDC's Dr. Maria Elena Jefferds.

(Now we know what happened to certain Democratic Senators.)

Your Devoted Friend,

P.S. Really 'T & H' is just bias stuff I'm interested in - not bias stuff
like "Time" or "Newsweek" (all are biased in someway) - there I go
again - sorry. You know that the media singles out certain folks to
adulterate but I save 99% of my jocosity for good old UNC.


Dear Howdy,

Add my address to your subscription list. i love your news letter.
It's a refreshing mixture of humor, mental challenges and truth.
Rob (


Dear Howdy

I GRADUATED!!! Could you change my email address to


Larry (MSU)
Systems Engineer
General Dynamics Land Systems


Dear Howdy,

I receive "thought and humor" through my school web address and I
enjoy reading it all the time. I have a boyfriend who is in the air
force and is over seas right now and I would like for you to send him
your newsletter. His email address is
Thank you very much.


Hey Mr. Bond,
Is this similar to ***Form Russia With Love***?

I was out of town, my mother is very ill and may be dying. Right now my head
is splitting, but from just reading a bit of your newletter, I have to ask
you, don't you think that there is a confusion between ethics and other
domains of thought, such as religious thought and legal thought? This is the
problem of pseudo ethics. Although moral right often overlaps with legal and
religious beliefs about what is morally right and wrong, there is a
difference between legality, morality and religion.

Besides, it is hard to find a real ethical relativist, since most of them
hold some absolute claim on at least one issue. That's all it takes, one
issue, and you're not a relativist... More later.



Dear Leila,

Will pray for your Mother...

Your Devoted Friend,



I just wanted to comment on your statement about Planned Parenthood in your
last newsletter. I'm a Christian and I've been with the man I love for 5
years; however, we're both in college and struggling to make ends meet
until he graduates and can work full time and get a job with benefits. In
addition, I don't have insurance, which means I just can't afford to go to
a gynecologist who charges twice as much for the same services as Planned
Parenthood does. I would never consider getting an abortion and believe it
is morally wrong, but that is not the only service Planned Parenthood
provides. You made the comparison of teenagers having sex to teenagers
smoking -- you should know that Phillip Morris, a huge tobacco company,
also owns Kraft foods. Perhaps buying birth control pills from Planned
Parenthood helps fund an organization that provides abortions. However,
buying macaroni and cheese helps fund an even larger organization that
targets smoking campaigns to teenagers. Does that stop anyone from buying
macaroni and cheese? No.

I fully agree that a Christian newsletter should discourage abortions;
however, keep in mind that Planned Parenthood also helps young married
couples who are poor as dirt and don't have anywhere else to turn to get
birth control. If you want Planned Parenthood destroyed, are you going to
buy my pills for me?

Cassie (


Dearest Cassie,

I suppose my riposte depends on whether "the man you love"
is your husband or not. If not, then you should stay out of the
sack together UNTIL you've tied the knot!!!

If yes, then work hard & save a bunch & stay out of such a God
& family hating place. Contraceptives don't cost that much anyway!!!
Do you happen to know that the founder of Planned Parenthood
wanted to use her organization to rid America of minorities. I for one
am thankful for their contributions to our heritage...

Your Committed Friend,



Yet again, I find myself dumbfounded by your extreme bias and
blatant religious and political propaganda. To suggest that the only
morality is God - how closed-minded can you be! I'm willing to put a
lot of money on the odds of you being a Baptist. You become angry with
people who challenge your views and your way of thinking, showing their
views only to make fun of and belittle them.

The mere suggestion that there is no morality without God it
ludicrous. Read your history books - the most heinous massacres in the
history of the world have been carried out in the names of various
gods. And I know what you'll say - the one true God would not permit
this. But don't forget, He is a jealous and vengeful God, and He
inspired the incredibly bloody and pointless Crusades, which had
nothing to do with taking the Holy Land. These were hell-bent on the
killing of Muslims of the Ottoman/Byzantine Empire. I argue that there
is LESS morality when taken in the name of God. God corrupts, God
permits the unspeakable, if it benefits HIM.

Think if we were speaking of a politician. This politician
denounces acts of violence and destruction, calling them immoral and
evil. However, as soon as something occurs which undermines a policy of
this politician, he orders his people to slaughter the perpetrators,
leaving none alive. If I'm a voter, I don't vote for him again.

It's the same with the Christian view of God. If I'm a worshipper,
I get away from any church which holds as values the murder of
innocents which is so favored and celebrated in the Bible. It's
hypocritical and unjust.

I'm not even going to get started on how ignorant you sounded
about Abortion. The whole smoking/cigarettes reference? Please. Maybe
you should go back to school somewhere and learn about analogies,
because it's clear that you don't understand them. The abortion rights
issue and birth control have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in common with your
little smoking analogy. It's completely out of left field, and it does
nothing to support your argument.

I only wish there was some way for me to attach a disclaimer to
the heading of each of your emails: WARNING: EXTREMELY BIASED CONTENT
*With moral clarity*,
Joseph J. Meixell (

P.S. Remove me from your mailing list. Now.


Dear Professor,

No anger here & no Baptist either (although they are my Christian brothers).

You accuse Christians of harming "innocents" while you support harming
the most innocent of all - the soon to be born children. I suppose everybody
is in favor of the death penalty. With Christians it's cold blooded
murders - with liberals it's soon to be born children, old people and the

I suppose also that everyone is in favor of censorship:

1) Christians - anti family/female/children stuff.

2) Liberals - The Bible. Liberals dispise what America and her heritage
exemplifies but idolize her enemies i.e. Hussein, Bin Laden, Castro, etc.
When was the last time that Senators Dashel, Clinton, Leahy, or kennedy
spoke negatively about Bin Laden, Hussein, Castro or Kim Jong II?
Send me a quote.

Once again may I suggest that the Crusades was a king/Pope event -
not of God.

Liberals always like to accuse others of the very things that they are
doing. You were yelling (BOLD print above) at me & calling me closed
minded while you cannot consider others views and must unsubscribe.
If you were open minded, would you not want to perhaps "check out"
what the other side is saying. I do this all the time.

The smoking analogy was from Rush Limbaugh. I suggest you call his show
and discuss it with him if you are able to handle his logic. As far as
ethics and the Bible go, check this & future issues to see what our Founding
Fathers had to say on this very subject (men far wiser than you or I).

Your Ardent Friend,

P.S. Walter will be happy to remove you when you write him at the address


Howdy, I used to like your newsletter, until it became little more than a
French-bashing session. I think you're wasting your wit on such an easy
target, as the French certainly are. After all, it is Iraq that we're at
war with, NOT the French.

I'm still trying to figure out why a true Christian would make fun of
someone for being a pacifist. I can't recall a single instance of Christ
teasing one of his disciples for turning the other cheek. However, I do
recall something about him yelling at Peter for brandishing a sword.

Please focus your ridicule on our enemies.

Clark, Austin TX


Hey Clark,

All in good fun. Remember that Biblical instructions to
individuals & nations are different. Liberals get them
mixed up...

Your Devoted Friend,

P.S. See love letter to the French from me below:


Dearest Howdy,

This article might be helpful for Christine, who is believes Planned
Parenthood is a good program. While this article should be seen as
cohersive and should be examined more in depth, it takes an interesting look
at Margaret Sanger (the founder of Planned Parenthood). It is argued that
Sanger supported the KKK party, and from a quote in this article, it does
seem like she envisioned some kind of superior race. Of course, if she is
really that interested, she should do more research and find out the context
of the quote and should find out more about Margaret Sanger. However, she
should be aware that every historian has an angle.

Also, a personal comment about teen sex. Not everyone does it. And the
people who do, probably did it because so many people had thrown it aside
and said "they are going to do it anyway." There is definitely a lack of
accountability. I know many people who wish they would have waited, but why
should they when it is so easy not to wait?

Brittany (MSU student)


Howdy Howdy,

I was wondering something:

If you ate jalepeño ice cream too fast do you think you would get
brain freezer-burn?

Jonathan (


Howdy please put my friend who is stationed in Cuba right
now on your email list his email address is

Thank you so much these guys could really use the humor.



Dear Howdy,

I just want to let you know that I am President of United States
Atheists in Portland Or. We operate the first Atheist Community Center
established in the USA. I suspect that I was put on the mailing list by
some Christian (without my permission) for that reason. But I don't
really know.

If you folks have an honest interest in addressing the God Hypothesis
(the claim the god exists), I will be happy to take on the challenge.
But most Christians do not want to address fundamentals, especially when
they are Fundamentalists.

So, for the record, here a few facts for you:

· There is no god
· Therefore Jesus is not the son of god (assuming he ever existed)
· The bible is an appalling book that any decent person would abhor
· Ethics are rooted in biology and human discourse, not religious
· There are no spiritual forces in the universe

You have a nice weekend as well.



Hey Jim,

You know we wouldn't be having this discussion if you
didn't have doubts. If someone were to tell me that they
believed in pink elephants, I wouldn't even bother to discuss
this with them because I don't believe in pink elephants.

You do know what the Bible says about "those
who say there is no God" (Ps 14:1).

From a philosophical standpoint, if I'm wrong -
I have lost nothing but if you are wrong then you have lost

Sure hope you have a nice weekend...

Your Zealous Friend,

P.S. May I respectfully suggest that you obtain a copy of
a best selling book by Josh McDowell entitled "Evidence
That Demand A Verdict" or this from a FORMER


Loved your email. Sincerely yours, Neil Z. Slater


I love your newsletter. I don't know who subscribed me,
but it is great! I emailed it to my daughter and I'm sure
she will want to subscribe too!
Have a great day!
Jan :o)


Just wanted to say that this is a great newsletter. I look forward to
receiving more. Bill Butz


Dear Howdy,
Thanks a bunch for your great newspaper. I save them so when I feel
like a laugh or challenging the little grey cells they can be retrieved.
The paper is amusing,informative, clean - and just great fun. I forward
it to friends, esp. those with UNC connections. Me - I'm at GMU in VA.
Keep up the good work!
Barbara G


If possible could you change my email address to
I am no longer going to receive email at this address, but i enjoy your
newsletter very much and would love to continue receiving it.
Thank you very much.

Best regards,
Jennifer (


(Note: Above e-mail addresses might be disguised.)


Dear Howdy,

"According to a new study, 50% of Americans are
not getting enough exercise. We hear this all the
time. You want Americans to exercise more, make
the remote heavier."

Jay L.


One of the reasons for the success of the internet is its open,
peer-to-peer nature. All computers on the internet are equal,
and in the past it hasn't mattered whether your computer is
a 386 in Nguru on the end of a satellite phone or a big monster
in a New York rack. If that ever changes, I think we will lose
part of the essential, vital character of the internet. Doug Winter



They were almost home, their spacecraft streaking across a deep blue
sky, leaving behind its white plume trail. Then suddenly Shuttle Columbia
fragmented into an unthinkable personal and national tragedy. And in a
moment, six of America's best and brightest - along with an acclaimed
Israeli hero - were gone.

The images of the Columbia tragedy will replay in our memories for a
long time - the final waves of the orange-suited Columbia seven as they
prepared to board - and that signature white trail marking the sky,
sickeningly exploding into the multiple trails of a shuttle that was no

As America's Commander-in-Chief was once again called upon to be our
Comforter-in-Chief, he turned to the centuries-tested comfort of the
Scriptures - and talked about the men and women of Columbia "going home."
It was these words from the prophet Isaiah that President Bush turned to in
this heart-wrenching moment of national grief and loss:

"Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens; Who created all these? He who
brings out the starry host one by one and calls them each by name. Because
of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing."
(Isaiah 40:26)

With his eyes glistening, the President then said: "The same Creator who
names the stars also knows the names of the seven souls we mourn today. The
crew of the shuttle Columbia did not return safely to Earth but we can pray
they are safely home." It is a moving thought - that the shuttle may have
taken crew members from "almost home" to really, really Home.

The headline in the Amarillo, Texas newspaper said of native son and
Columbia commander, Rick Husband, "Amarillo Hero Called Home." It is a call
that every one of us will receive, perhaps as unexpectedly as Rick Husband
and his crew. Today's obituary page is another reminder that for any of us,
the journey can end at any time. So the Bible cautions us not to "boast
about tomorrow" because we "do not know what a day may bring forth."
(Proverbs 27:1) It's important to know we'll be "safely Home" on the other
side - when we meet the One that Isaiah describes as He who "sits enthroned
above the circle of the earth." (Isaiah 40:22)

In the last hours before His own violent death, Jesus Christ told His
followers that He was going to His "Father's house" to "prepare a place for
you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you
to be with Me..." (John 14:2-3) That prompted a desire on the part of His
friends to know how to get to this eternal Home - one of them asked, "How
can we know the way?"

Jesus' answer was simple and shocking - "I am the way and the truth and
the life." (John 14:6) According to Jesus, the "way" to get Home isn't a
religion or a morality or a list of qualifying good works. He said the
"way" is a Person - "I am the way."

The Bible explains that although most of us want to - even expect to -
end up in heaven when we die, not all of us will make it Home. In describing
the unlimited life of heaven, the Bible cautions that "nothing impure will
ever enter it nor will anyone who does what is shameful and deceitful."
(Revelation 21:27) My first reaction is to think of all the people who are
much more "impure," "shameful," and "deceitful" than I am. But I'm stopped
short in exempting myself by God's sobering verdict that "all have sinned
and fallen short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23)

Quite simply, we will never make it Home unless we can find a way to
lose the lifetime of sin-baggage we all have. Biblically, sin is so much
more than breaking some religious rules or a few gross actions - it is our
rebellion against the God who gave us our life in the first place. It's you
and me choosing to do our life our way instead of God's way. That choice
has left us with every reason to be afraid of death - because what awaits
us at flight's end is the awful penalty for hijacking our life from our
Creator. And yet the sister of Columbia payload commander, Michael
Anderson, could say, "In those last moments, he would not have been afraid
to die. He had made his peace with God."

In a cable news interview, a friend of Rick Husband and Michael Anderson,
said that they had no fear of death because "their personal foundation was
their personal relationship with Jesus Christ." The One who said He was the
way Home - because, as He explained, He had come here to "give His life a
ransom for many" (Mark 10:45). The Bible describes the unspeakable price
Jesus paid to remove the sins that keep us out of heaven - "Christ died for
our sins ... the righteous (that's Him) for the unrighteous (that's us), to
bring you to God." (1 Peter 3:18)

The way Home passes by an old wooden cross - where Jesus paid the price
to get us Home. He is the security that survives every loss. Speaking of
Rick Husband's widow, a NASA official said, "I know Evelyn takes tremendous
comfort in knowing Rick is with his Lord." There is no greater peace in all
the world than knowing that you are ready for eternity, whenever it comes.
That every wrong thing you've ever done has been erased from God's records
forever. That you now belong to the One who "brings out the starry host one
by one and calls them all by name."

And the Bible explains the point at which you can pass spiritually "from
death to life" (John 5:24) - it says, "God so loved the world that He gave
His one and only Son that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have
eternal life." (John 3:16) That's "believe" as in putting your total trust
in Jesus as your only hope of being forgiven, your only hope of getting
into God's heaven. He died to take you there - but you have to give
yourself to Him. Which you can do by simply telling Him, "Jesus, I'm sorry
for my sin and I resign running my own life. You died for me - I'm Yours
from this moment on." It's a life-changing commitment - and a life-giving
moment. Eternal life.

None of us knows how much longer our personal flight will last. We can
know that whenever and however it ends, we're ready. We're forgiven. Our
debt with God is gone. Which means that when you've had your last moment on
earth, it will simply mean that you're Home. Safely home. (Ron Hutchcraft)


To find out how you can begin a personal relationship with
Jesus Christ, please visit YOURS FOR LIFE: HOW TO

1-888-NEED HIM.


"Hey Benny," said Lou, "I just bought me a
brand new hearing aide. It cost me $4,000,
but it's state of the art."

"That right?" answered Ben. "What kind is it?"



Travel around the world with this site. It randomly cycles
through hundreds of Web cams all over the globe.


Depressed, Troubled, Worried???
Big Problems???

Want to talk with a LIVE trained counselor???
Want to get REAL help???

(FREE - English/Spanish)


(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')


Ever wonder how much you're worth? Well, we know all humans
are priceless, but seriously, ever wonder how much money
the elements found in your body are worth?

Well...when we total the monetary value of the elements in our
bodies and the value of the average person's skin, we arrive
at a net worth of $4.50!

This value is, however, subject to change, due to stock market
fluctuations. Since the studies leading to this conclusion
were conducted by the U.S. and by Japan respectively, it might
be wise to consult the New York Stock Exchange and the Nikkei
Index before deciding when to sell!

The U.S. Bureau of Chemistry and Soils invested many a hard-
earned tax dollar in calculating the chemical and mineral
composition of the human body, which breaks down as follows:

65% Oxygen
18% Carbon
10% Hydrogen
3% Nitrogen
1.5% Calcium
1% Phosphorous
0.35% Potassium
0.25% Sulfur
0.15% Sodium
0.15% Chlorine
0.05% Magnesium
0.0004% Iron
0.00004% Iodine

Additionally, it was discovered that our bodies contain trace
quantities of fluorine, silicon, manganese, zinc, copper,
aluminum, and arsenic. Together, all of the above amounts to
less than one dollar!

Our most valuable asset is our skin, which the Japanese
invested their time and money in measuring. The method the
Imperial State Institute for Nutrition at Tokyo developed
for measuring the amount of a person's skin is to take a
naked person, and to apply a strong, thin paper to every
surface of his body. After the paper dries, they carefully
remove it, cut it into small pieces, and painstakingly total
the person's measurements. Cut and dried, the average person
is the proud owner of fourteen to eighteen square feet of
skin, with the variations. Basing the skin's value on the
selling price of cowhide, which is approximately $.25 per
square foot, the value of an average person's skin is about


Shortly after the Intifada began in September 2000, the Mufti of Jerusalem,
the city's highest Muslim religious authority spoke of his admiration for
child "martyrs." "There is no doubt that a child [martyr] suggests that the
new generation will carry on the mission with determination," Sheik 'Ikrima
Sabri told the Egyptian weekly, Al-Ahram Al-Arabi. "The younger the martyr,
the greater and the more I respect him," said the Mufti, who was appointed
by Palestinian Authority President Yasser Arafat.

An Israeli video documentary in 1998 showed how Palestinian children are
taught to hate Jews, to glorify jihad, violence, death and child martyrdom.

A "Sesame Street"-like children's program called the "Children's Club"
showed very young children singing songs about wanting to become "suicide
warriors" and to take up "a machine gun" to direct "violence, anger, anger,
anger" against Israelis. During the show, which features children aged 4-10,
one young boy sings, "When I wander into Jerusalem, I will become a suicide
bomber." Afterward, other children stand to call for "Jihad! Holy war to the
end against the Zionist enemy." (1/14/03)




Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.


It's possible to lead a cow upstairs, but not downstairs.



The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch
every year because when it was built, engineers failed to
take into account the weight of all the books that would
occupy the building.


Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.


Connecticut and Rhode Island never ratified the 18th Amend-
ment: Prohibition.


The closest that film star John Wayne came to military action
was in 1944 during a three-month entertainment tour of Pacific
bases. His boyhood wish of becoming a naval officer never came
true, although he did come close to receiving an appointment
to Annapolis. During World War II, he was rejected for military
service. Wayne was never a cowboy, either. Odd jobs that "The
Duke" held as a young man included those of fruit picker,
iceman, truck driver, and movie propman.


Although the official language of India is Hindi, there are
14 regional languages that are officially recognized for
conducting national affairs. In addition, there are approx-
imately 170 other languages and over 500 dialects. Of the
Indian population of over 548 million, only about 134
million understand Hindi.



For many years, the fig has been used as a coffee substitute.
The fruit contains a proteolytic enzyme that is considered an
aid to digestion and is used by the pharmaceutical industry.



Despite being 24 years old, Michael J. Fox starred as high
school student Marty McFly in the hit science-fiction comedy
Back to the Future (1985).


"No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all
himself, or to get all the credit for doing it."

ANSWER: Andrew Carnegie, businessman, philanthropist


"What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say."

ANSWER: Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882), American author.


"Keep your eyes wide open before marriage...
half shut afterwards."

~ Benjamin Franklin


Please forward this newspaper to your colleagues, friends,
and family, and let them know they can subscribe:

Howdy's E-Mail Address Below


Statistically speaking what's the safest car color?

A) Cream
B) Red
C) White
D) Yellow

Is: C) White


We are soooooooo sorry!!! Boohoo Tears!!!
If you are receiving 'Thought & Humor' & don't wish
to be on our weekly mailing. Perhaps it's your fault
because you have sooooooo many friends who want
you to receive 'Thought & Humor'!

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How does a top-notch professor get in trouble with his bosses?
A look at academic politics at their worst--and how they backfired.

by J. Budziszewski

Sarah's professors tell her there's no such thing as absolute truth.
Theophilus says even they don't really believe that.

{Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor'}


Real Wars and Movie Stars: Hollywood Flips Over What's Hip

"What's good for the goose is good for the gander," an old proverb
says. One standard applies to everybody.

But many Hollywood celebrities seem to think that what's good for the
donkey is bad for the elephant. Fighting was commendable when Clinton
did it, but contemptible when Bush so much as contemplates it.

The WALL STREET JOURNAL's online OPINION JOURNAL ran an article on
March 13 titled, "Stars and Gripes: Hollywood celebs aren't antiwar.
They just hate the president." In it, author John Fund cited singer
Sheryl Crow.

After accompanying Hillary Clinton on a USO tour for troops in Bosnia
several years ago, Crow told a SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE reporter, "Once
over there, I felt extremely patriotic. Here are these people, from
eighteen-year-olds to military veterans, enduring real duress for the
cause of peace. I don't ever want to play for a regular audience again,
only military folks who are starving for music." Ironically, Ms. Crow
is appalled by action in Iraq and "hasn't been seen around any military
bases lately."

Fund also mentions actor Mike Farrell of M*A*S*H fame. Debating with
former senator Fred Thompson on MEET THE PRESS, Farrell accused the
Bush administration of "trump[ing] up a case in which we are ballyhooed
into war." But in 1999, Farrell had defended the Clinton
administration's rationale for war in Kosovo, saying, "I think it's
appropriate for the international community in situations like this to
intervene. I am in favor of an intervention."

"That's ironic," Fund observes, "because President Clinton's
intervention in Kosovo . . . was much less justifiable. Weapons of mass
destruction were not an issue; the rationale was exclusively

In March 1999, Mr. Clinton said, "[I]f President Milosevic will not
make peace, we will limit his ability to make war." Fund observes,
"Insert the words 'Iraq' and 'Saddam' . . . in the above excerpt, and
you could have a speech that President Bush would be happy to give on

The article also points out that the Clinton administration and NATO
bombed Serbia for seventy-seven days without ever asking for even one
UN approval. People who applauded that action now criticize Bush for
not going back for approval number eighteen before using force against

Comedian Janeane Garofalo explains that Hollywood didn't protest the
Clinton military ventures because "it wasn't very hip." By Hollywood
standards, what was "hip" when Mr. Clinton did it, gets a negative flip
when Mr. Bush does it.

Critics of the war against Iraq in Hollywood and elsewhere might want
to take another look at what President Clinton said in 1998: "What if
Saddam fails to comply, and we fail to act? . . . Well, he will
conclude that the international community has lost its will. He will
then conclude that he can go right on and do more to rebuild an arsenal
of devastating destruction. And someday, some way, I guarantee you
he'll use that arsenal."

Now it is President Bush who is acting on that threat that President
Clinton identified.

One of the primary purposes of government is to defend its citizens.
That is the purpose of the war against Iraq. President Clinton saw that
clearly when he was in the Oval Office. It is a pity his supporters in
Hollywood can't -- or, perhaps I should say, won't. (Chuck Colson)

John Fund's Political Diary, "Stars and Gripes," WALL STREET JOURNAL,
13 March 2003.

Roberto Rivera, "London Dumbstruck Blues: Celebrity 'Experts,'"

Spencer Ackerman, "Cause Célèbre," THE NEW REPUBLIC, 2 March 2003.

Bill Clinton, "Trust Tony's Judgment," THE GUARDIAN (London), 18 March

Leah Garchik, "Celebrities sneak anti-war sentiments into broadcast,"

Read the transcript of the March 2 edition of MEET THE PRESS with
guests Fred Thompson and Mike Farrell.

Richard Morin and Claudia Deane, "7 in 10 Americans Back Decision to Go
to War," WASHINGTON POST, 21 March 2003, A25.

As you read the Scriptures with your family, I hope
you'll have a new appreciation for who the "Word made
flesh" really is: He's the Creator who existed before time.
He's the Logos Who made heaven and earth, and Who
steers the stars in their courses. He is the Truth that is
ultimate reality. He is the 'Babe of Bethlehem' & the
'Word' of John 1. If you know of others who would
enjoy receiving BreakPoint in their E-mail box each
day, tell them they can sign up 1-800-457-6125.


First Published In Last Century - July 26,1997
Thought For The OPEN Mind - Humor From American Culture


Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong
life. Is this true, Doc?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it,
don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually.
Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's
like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it
faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

"It is the duty of nations, as well as of men, to
own their dependence upon the overruling power of God and
to recognize the sublime truth announced in the Holy Scriptures
and proven by all history, that those nations only are blessed
whose God is the Lord." --Abraham Lincoln
If you stop believing what your PROFESSOR told you had
to be true and if you start thinking for yourself you may come
to some conclusions you hadn't expected. You may find the
Bible makes more sense than you thought or were told to think.
Allow yourself to be ruined, ruined with regard to what you
always thought could be true. Can you believe what you don't
understand?You and I believe everyday what we don't understand
unless it comes to the issue to salvation.
Dr. Woodrow Kroll


Dear Readers,

It may come as a surprise to some that I dearly
love the French, Germans, & Muslims.

I had a delightful trip to France in 2000 and
enjoyed the French sites & culture as well
as the hospitable Parisians. However, I do
have a considerable problem with their
government's love of a "Jr. Hitler"!!!

Makes one wonder if those brave Americans
who died to liberate France a generation ago
would have reconsidered had they only known
the future. Pass me the "Freedom Fries" &
"Freedom Toast".

Also please note that EVERY 'Thought
& Humor" tells of God's love for ALL
Muslims in "Four Important Things To
Know" Section through the world's only
hope for peace: THE PRINCE OF PEACE
(Jesus Christ).

Your Devoted Friend,

"How to Be Sure You're a REAL Christian"
1-888-NEED-HIM (24/7 - free call)
Faith and love are apt to be spasmodic in the best of minds.
Men and women live on the brink of mysteries and harmonies
into which they never enter and with their hand on the door
latch they die outside. GK Chesterton
Trust in yourself and you are doomed to disappointment;
trust in money and you may have it taken from you; but
trust in God, and you are never to be confounded in time
or eternity. - D.L. Moody

*Latin Lesson*

"Domino vobiscum."
(The pizza guy's here.)

"Sharpei diem."
(Seize the Wrinkled Dog.)

"Motorolus interruptus."
(Hold on, I'm going into a tunnel.)

"Bodicus mutilatimus, unemploymi forevercus."
(Better take the nose ring out before the job interview.)

"Nunc Tutus Exitus Computarus."
(It's Now Safe To Turn Off Your Computer.)

"Tempo Waturim."
(I drove my Ford off a bridge.)

"Litigata Ergo Sum."
(I sue, therefore I am.)

"Et tu, pluribus unum?"
(The government just stabbed me in the back!)

"Cavett Emptor."
(Beware, Dick Cavett could still make a comeback.)


You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all
who call on You. --Psalm 86


This material is not suitable for those who are deficient in humor
or thought challenged!!! Do not read any further - you have been
warned. Preconceived ideas and biases could be endangered.
A unique blend of the jocular with provocative rumination is just
ahead for your divertissement!?! "UNSUBSCRIBE" communiqué
located below. Even French & German students can do it...


Who's Smarter?

The Hollywood group is at it again. Holding anti-war rallies, screaming
about the Bush Administration, running ads in major newspapers, defaming the
President and his Cabinet every chance they get, to anyone and everyone who

will listen. They publicly defile them and call them names like "stupid" ,
"morons", and "idiots". Jessica Lange went so far as to tell a crowd in
Spain that she hates President Bush and is embarrassed to be an American.

So, just how ignorant are these people who are running the country? Let's
look at the biographies of these "stupid", "ignorant" , "moronic" leaders,
and then at the celebrities who are castigating them:

President George W. Bush: Received a Bachelors Degree from Yale University
and an MBA from Harvard Business School.

Vice President Dick Cheney earned a B.A. in 1965 and a M.A. in 1966, both
in political science.

Secretary of State Colin Powell was educated in the New York City public
schools, graduating from the City College of New York (CCNY), where he
earned a Bachelor's Degree in geology. He also participated in ROTC at CCNY
and received a commission as an Army second lieutenant upon graduation in
June 1958. His further academic achievements include a Master of Business
Administration Degree from George Washington University. Secretary Powell is
the recipient of numerous U.S. and foreign military awards and decorations.
Secretary Powell's civilian awards include two Presidential Medals of
Freedom, the President's Citizens Medal, the Congressional Gold Medal, the
Secretary of State Distinguished Service Medal, and the Secretary of Energy
Distinguished Service Medal. Several schools and other institutions have
been named in his honor and he holds honorary degrees from universities and
colleges across the country.

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld: attended Princeton University on
Scholarship (AB, 1954) and served in the U.S. Navy (1954-57) as a Naval
aviator ; Congressional Assistant to Rep. Robert Griffin (R-MI), 1957-59;
U.S. Representative, Illinois, 1962-69; Assistant to the President, Director
of the Office of Economic Opportunity, Director of the Cost of Living
Council, 1969-74; U.S. Ambassador to NATO, 1973-74; head of Presidential
Transition Team, 1974; Assistant to the President, Director of White House
Office of Operations, White House Chief of Staff, 1974-77; Secretary of
Defense, 1975-77

Secretary of Homeland Security Tom Ridge was raised in a working class
family in veterans' public housing in Erie. He earned a scholarship to
Harvard, graduating with honors in 1967.

National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice earned her Bachelor's Degree in
Political Science, Cum Laude and Phi Beta Kappa, from the University of
Denver in 1974; her Master's from the University of Notre Dame in 1975; and
her Ph.D. from the Graduate School of International Studies at the
University of Denver in 1981.

So who are these celebrities? What is their education? What is their
experience in affairs of State or in National Security? While I will defend
to the death their right to express their opinions, I think that if they are
going to call into question the intelligence of our leaders, we should also
have all the facts on their educations and background:

Barbra Streisand : Completed high school
Career: Singing and acting

Cher: Dropped out of school in 9th grade.
Career: Singing and acting

Martin Sheen Flunked exam to enter University of Dayton.
Career: Acting

Jessica Lange Dropped out college mid-freshman year.
Career: Acting

Alec Baldwin Dropped out of George Washington U. after scandal
Career: Acting

Julia Roberts Completed high school
Career: Acting

Sean Penn Completed High school
Career: Acting

Susan Sarandon Degree in Drama from Catholic University of America in
Washington, D.C.
Career: Acting

Ed Asner Completed High school
Career: Acting

George Clooney Dropped out of University of Kentucky
Career: Acting

Michael Moore Dropped out first year University of Michigan.
Career: Movie Director

Sarah Jessica Parker: Completed High School
Career: Acting

Jennifer Anniston: Completed High School
Career: Acting

Mike Farrell Completed High school
Career: Acting

Janeane Garofelo Dropped out of College.
Career: Stand up comedienne

Larry Hagman Attended Bard College for one year.
Career: Acting

(By Cindy Osborne - sent to us via Jessie King)


Read the exploits of crooks who got caught by being unlucky
or just plain dumb.

Savage is a team-based, multiplayer, first-person strategy shooter
game. The manufacturer is seeking folks to test the new version.

This site has great tips and activities to help your child excel
in school. It's targeted to grades 3 through 8.

Fill out a form and have a free sample of Pantene mailed to you!
Open to U.S. residents, 18 and over.



All the girls had ugly gym uniforms?

It took five minutes for the TV warm up?

Nearly everyone's Mom was at home
when the kids got home from school?

Nobody owned a purebred dog?

When a quarter was a decent allowance?

You'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny?

Your Mom wore nylons that came in two pieces?

All your male teachers wore ties and female teachers had their hair done
every day and wore high heels?

You got your windshield cleaned,
oil checked, and gas pumped,
without asking, all for free, every time?
And you didn't pay for air?
And, you got trading stamps to boot?

Laundry detergent had free glasses,
dishes or towels hidden inside the box?

It was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner
at a real restaurant with your parents?

They threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed . . .
and they did?

When a 57 Chevy was everyone's dream car...
to cruise, peel out, lay rubber
or watch submarine races,
and people went steady?

No one ever asked where the car keys were
because they were always in the car,
in the ignition, and the doors were never locked?

Lying on your back in the grass with your friends
and saying things like,"That cloud looks like a ..."

and playing baseball with no adults to help kids with the rules of the game?

Stuff from the store came without safety caps and hermetic seals
because no one had yet tried to poison a perfect stranger?

And with all our progress, don't you just wish, just once,
you could slip back in time and savor the slower pace,
and share it with the children of today?

When being sent to the principal's office was nothing
compared to the fate that awaited the student at home?
Basically we were in fear for our lives,
but it wasn't because of drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc.

Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat!
But we survived because their love was greater than the threat.

Send this on to someone who can still remember
Nancy Drew, the Hardy Boys,
Laurel and Hardy, Howdy Dowdy
and the Peanut Gallery,
the Lone Ranger, The Shadow Knows,
Nellie Bell, Roy and Dale,
Trigger and Buttermilk.

As well as summers filled with bike rides, baseball games,
Hula Hoops, bowling and visits to the pool,
and eating Kool-Aid powder with sugar.
Didn't that feel good, just to go back and say,
"Yeah, I remember that"?

I am sharing this with you today
because it ended with a double dog dare to pass it on.
To remember what a double dog dare is, read on.
And remember that the perfect age is somewhere between
old enough to know better and too young to care.

How many of these do you remember?
Candy cigarettes
Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside
Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles
Coffee shops with tableside jukeboxes
Blackjack, Clove and Teaberry chewing gum.
Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
Newsreels before the movie

P.F. Fliers

Telephone numbers with a word prefix....(Raymond 4-601).
Party lines


Howdy Dowdy

45 RPM records

Green Stamps


Metal ice cubes trays with levers

Mimeograph paper

Beanie and Cecil

Roller-skate keys

Cork pop guns

Drive ins


Washtub wringers

The Fuller Brush Man

Reel-To-Reel tape recorders


Erector Sets

The Fort Apache Play Set

Lincoln Logs

15 cent McDonald hamburgers

5 cent packs of baseball cards -
with that awful pink slab of bubble gum

Penny candy

35 cent a gallon gasoline

Jiffy Pop popcorn

Do you remember a time when...

Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-moe"?

Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "Do Over!"?

"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest?

Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening?

It wasn't odd to have two or three "Best Friends"?

The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was "cooties"?

Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot?

A foot of snow was a dream come true?

Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute commercials for action figures?
"Oly-oly-oxen-free" made perfect sense?

Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down was cause for giggles?

The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team?

War was a card game?

Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle?

Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin?

Water balloons were the ultimate weapon?

If you can remember most or all of these, then you have lived!!!!!!!


"This probably isn't really "SPAM", somebody you
probably know signed you up for this and the newsletter..."

"Broadband Reports" responding to a 'T & H' Critic
11/2/2 Issue


God bless our troops!!!

{Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor'}


This government site offers access to historic documents.
View the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights.


"Not being on the air, that's not important. But I'd like
to be in the newsroom helping set the agenda."

Retired CBS Anchorman Walter Cronkite

{Dear Walter, Fair news knows no agenda - Howdy}


--Buddy Holly - Died - February 3, 1959
Born September 7, 1936
U.S. singer and songwriter. Holly played in country-music bands
while in high school,but would later switch to rock and roll.
Holly and his band, the Crickets, had hits with such songs as
"That'll Be the Day," "Peggy Sue," and "Oh, Boy!" Holly died
at 22 in a plane crash, along with the singers Richie Valens
and The Big Bopper (Jape Richardson). He left behind many
recordings which were released posthumously, and he soon
attained legendary stature; he was part of the first group
inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

--Karen Carpenter - Died - February 4, 1983
Born March 2, 1950
Musician. Her and brother Richard had eight Gold albums, five
Platinum albums, and ten Gold singles in America. Between
1970 and 1980, The Carpenters were the #1 best-selling
American group. In their first year, the Carpenters had four
Top 5 hits - twice the number of any other artist during that
period. Among their many accomplishments, they sit second on
the list of "Artists With The Most #2 Hits" with five, Elvis
Presley had six. Karen died unexpectedly at her parents' home
in 1983 from heart failure, the result of years of anorexia nervosa.


As it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind
has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him.
--1 Corinthians 2


There was this truck driver who had to deliver 5 penguins to the
state zoo. As he was driving his truck through the desert, his
truck breaks down. After about 3 hours, he waves another truck down
and offers the driver $500 to take these penguins to the state zoo
for him.

The next day the original truck driver arrives in town and sees the
new truck driver crossing the road with 5 penguins walking in
single file behind him.

The original truck driver jumps out of his truck and asks, "What's
going on? I gave you $500 to take these penguins to the zoo!"

The new truck driver responds, "I did take them to the zoo. And I
had enough money left over so now we're going to see a movie."


Please note: If you see a UNC student or a liberal reading
'Thought & Humor', please explain to them which is thought
& which is humor. They always get it backwards.......


A is a Jones, B is a Smith and it is afternoon. If statement
A were false, it would be morning and it would have to be a
Jones speaking but that would also make statement B false
and both statements could not be false because one lies in
the afternoon and one tells the truth.



Some campus conservatives have discovered a fun way to expose a double


Roy Moore's getting his doctorate in an unusual major: Defending the Ten

by Prof. J. Budziszewski

Whether your faith conflicts with your reason, whether Job sinned,
how people were saved before Jesus came, and why Theo spends
so much time talking about sex.


Megan's no rebel. But when the university said she couldn't hold
a Bible study in her own dorm room, she fought back--and won
more than she expected.

{Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor'}



1. inimical I. An enemy; unfriendly; unfavorable
2. exheredate D. To disinherit
3. palpable F. Capable of being touched and felt
4. captious J. Finds fault or raises objections
5. soporific A. Causing sleep; tending to cause sleep
6. exigent H. Requiring immediate aid or action
7. schadenfreude B. Malicious satisfaction
8. concomitant E. A companion; an associate
9. superlation C. Glorification
10. tyro G. A beginner in learning; a novice


Sitting down, Jesus called the twelve and said,
"If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very
last, and the servant of all." --Mark 9


When you're a parent you're a prisoner of war. You can't go
anywhere without paying someone to come and look after your
kids. In the old days, babysitters were paid about 50 cents
an hour, and they'd steam clean the carpet and detail your
car. Now they've got their own union. I couldn't afford it,
so I asked my mother to come over. The sitters called her
a scab and beat her up on the front lawn." -Robert G. Lee


Goodbye for now & rhapsodic vernal equinox thru vernal continuation!!!
Your friend, confidant, & cohort,
(probably spurious)
P.S. "Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong."
--Oscar Wilde

DEDICATION: James & Caroline


Prayer Request:

Please pray that God will hinder the work
of the "Hired Howdy Hunters". There's
2 or 3 that are dedicated to stopping
thousands of readers from receiving this
almost 6 year old publication.


"I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to man.
All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to
us through this book." --Abraham Lincoln

"For we must consider that we shall be as a City upon a hill.
The eyes of all people are upon us. So that if we shall deal
falsely with our God in this work we have undertaken, and
so cause Him to withdraw his present help from us, we
shall be made a story and a byword throughout the world."
--John Winthrop, Governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, 1630

"America was born a Christian nation. America was born
to exemplify that devotion to the elements of righteousness,
which are derived from the revelations of Holy Scriptures.
Part of the destiny of Americans lies in their daily perusal
of this great book of revelations. That if they would see
America free and pure they will make their own spirits
free and pure by this baptism of the Holy Spirit."
--Woodrow Wilson

"It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this
great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians;
not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ. For this
very reason peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum,
prosperity, and freedom of worship here."
--Patrick Henry, original member of the Continental Congress


Q: Why is 'Thought & Humor' so long?
A: All newspapers & magazines are long!

Q: What if I can't read all of it?
A: Delete it. Most folks don't read every word in every newspaper/magazine

Q: Am I required to memorize each article?
A: Nope! Delete what you don't have time for or save for another time.

Q: Is 'T & H' Spam?
A: No, it's made entirely of ham.

Q: Can I forward to friends & family?
A: Please do.

Q: Who is Howdy?
A: We let him think he's the boss...



1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus,
Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians,
Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned & fall short of
the glory of God.

2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal
separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (Free & at No
Charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is Eternal
Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ (God, Lord,
2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of Peace & Savior).

3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world (Americans,
Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians,
Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French etc.)
that He even gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever
(anyone, anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in, relies
on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall have eternal
(everlasting) life (heaven).

4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE. No
one (male/female- American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist,
Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist, Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist,
French, etc.) comes (arrives) to the Father (with GOD in Heaven)
EXCEPT BY (through) ME (no other name).

This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - -
(Rev. 3:20)

{Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good things,
etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian however they
are great afterwards!!!}

Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to
destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment), and many enter
through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to
life (Heaven, eternal happiness, forever with God), and only a few
find it. --Matthew 7:13-14


UCLA survey finds: The Internet now exceeds television,
radio and magazines in importance among online users,
the third annual nationwide telephone survey of 2,000
households determined.


Please forward this newspaper to your colleagues, friends,
and family, and let them know they can subscribe:

Write Howdy!!!

Note: The HHH likes to keep you from
writing Howdy by knocking his ISP address
out of action, Sooo... Two can play that game.
To write Howdy, decipher this riddle - easy
enough for any including UNC students:

1) Pick a 4 letter possessive pronoun that begins
with the next to the last letter of the alphabet
and ends with the letter pronounced "are".

2) Place a dash.

3) Use the 6 letter word that means the
opposite of "enemy".

4) Pick a number between 3 and 5.

5) Select a letter of the alphabet that sounds
like "you".

5) Next add the symbol that must be in
every e-mail (located above the "2" on your

6) Now select the proper ISP, AOL is
fine for many folks, and Earthlink has its
following but Juno was the first that many

7) Add the .com if you trust those kind
of folks more than those .org's!

8) You now have Howdy's 22 space e-mail
address for communicating or subscribing...

(Our software is unable to use this address
for unsubscribing - sorry.)

Alternate Address in case HHH gets to above:
howdy_loves_u2 {at}


Take the best medicine of all for what ails you -- laughter:

"Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects."
--Arnold Glasow
"Laughter is by definition healthy."
--Doris Lessing
"If somebody makes me laugh, I'm his slave for life."
--Bette Midler
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."
--Mark Twain
"What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul."
-- Yiddish Proverb
"Laughter is an instant vacation."
-- Milton Berle
"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."
-- Victor Borge

NOTICE: The jokes published in this list were either submitted
directly to 'Thought & Humor' or are, we believe, in the public
domain. If you think that we have published a joke without
giving proper credit to its author/owner, please let us know
and we will provide appropriate credit in a future mailing.


The "E-Mail Newspaper" containing 'Thought & Humor' is sent out
FREE via e-mail w/o ads. This information was sent to you because
you or a friend may have requested, if not, accept our apologies and
you will be deleted from our data base after you advise Howdy.
'Thought & Humor' is one small attempt to obey "The Great Commission".
First published in the last century (July 26, 1997).

Soli Deo Gloria...

________"E-Mail Newspaper (Free4u)" __________________

If this is spam to you, then please discard it. But consider it a
compliment from me that I thought you were of a mindset that
would appreciate it. This message is in full compliance with U.S. Federal
requirements for commercial email under bill S.1618 Title lll, Section 301,
Paragraph (a)(2)(C) passed by the 105th U.S. Congress and cannot be
considered SPAM since it includes a remove mechanism.

References gleaned for great humor & information: Merry Heart, Thomas S.
Elworth, Funny List, MeMail, Daily Dose, Joke of the Day, Kim Komando,
Buffalos3, MIKEY'S FUNNIES, The Daily Tease, cybersalt & Shagmail.
Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.

Thought & Humor' respects your privacy and wishes to honor your desires
to not receive e-mail from us if that's your choice, and we apologize
if any message causes any inconvenience to you or your computer. We have
never given any reader's e-mail addresses to a third party & have no plans
to do such unless the price is right:o) (Liberals please note - that was
humor). The E-Mail Newspaper is sent to you with love.

Notice: 'Thought & Humor' uses Norton Antivirus 2002 for our readers'



Don't reply to SPAM. Many things can happen if you do.
Probably none of them will be good. So use your head.
Kim Komando


Howdy's "UNSUBSCRIBE" Address for those
who don't think we're SPAM

Note: The HHH (for a fee) likes to keep you from
UNSUBSCRIBING from Howdy's award winning
publication by knocking his unsubscribe e-mail address
out of action, Sooo... Two can play that game but
sorry you have to go through this rigmarole!!!

To unsubscribe, decipher this riddle - easy
enough for any including French students:

1) The unsubscribe address consist of 30 spaces.
2) Think of a two letter word that sounds like "sew".
3) Now add a punctuation that is a very low dash.
4) Add a delightful four letter word that is the opposite
of short.
5) Repeat step #3.
6) Now add my name - who is your devoted friend.
7) Simply add the symbol found in every e-mail address.
8) What school does howdy kid often???
9) Now add a dash of salt w/o the salt.
10) Add Bill Clinton's favorite 2-letter word to define & another #9.
11) What is a hilarious word that rhymes with "bunny".
12) Finally add .com, .net, or .org but as for me, personally I never
trust those .net & .com guys.

For the software to be able to handle your request, please
place "UNSUBSCRIBE" in the subject line with your e-mail address.

Please be aware that we will miss you. If this doesn't work, you
might just have another e-mail address that forwards and you
would of course need to unsubscribe also from that address
(often a school address). NOTE: IF YOU DON'T RECEIVE AN


Send this to four people and you
will gain 2 new friends. Send this
to all the people you know (or
ever knew), and you will gain 5
new friends. If you delete this
message, you will lose your best
friend immediately. That's why I
had to pass this on -- I didn't
want to risk it. Howdy
  .comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

Where is the country of 'Unknown'?

And don't tell me that you don't know...
  .comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
It's the country
located between
Narnia & Middle
  .comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
Post a Comment

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* * * Great Archives Here - - - - "Music That Howdy Enjoys" Below * * * * * * * * * * * * For God loves YOU so very much that He gave His only Son so that if YOU believe in Him you will not perish but will live with Him forever!!!

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* * * Great Archives Here - - - - "Music That Howdy Enjoys" Below * * *

February 2006   March 2006   April 2006   May 2006   June 2006   July 2006   August 2006   September 2006   October 2006   November 2006   December 2006   December 2007  

How Can I Know God???

Tales of Narnia

Answering Islam

The Da Vinci Code

A Short Look At Six World Religions

Bible - God's Word in different languages...

My Heart Christ's Home

Big John's America

Not Garbage

Discovery Institute

See The Word

Bible Study Info

Don't Be Left Behind

For The University Students & Faculty

How to become a Christian

The Berean Call

Great For Kids

Stories For Kids

Promoting Your Own Blog

Looking For God

Bible Knowledge Challenge

The Young Earth Club

Who Is Jesus???

Christian Apologetics

Christian Web Info

Great Christians In History

History of American Christianity

Bible Instructions


Dr. Ben Haden

Bible Search Tools

Kids For Truth

Lincoln - A Christian

Mission To America

One Place For Learning

President Lincoln

Purgatory, Heaven Or Hell?

Intellectual Takeout

Evangelical Viewpoint

Dr. John Vernon McGee

Insight For Living

Turning Point

Outstanding Bible Teacher

Dr. Tony Evans

Listen To The Bible

Is Jesus God?


Great Bible Teaching

America - Why I Love Her

How To Become A Christian

*Watch The Jesus Movie*


Your very own library

Muhammad or Jesus???

Why The U.S.A. Is At War - 1

Why The U.S.A. Is At War - 2

Christian Women

Politics & Religion

Is Jesus God?

Statement Of What Howdy Believes!!!

Bible Crosswords

Los Angeles

Bible Search Tool

Great Bible Teacher

All About Cults

Religion Comparison

The Relationship of the Church to Israel

Just For Guys

Church History

***Watch The Jesus Movie***
{Many Languages}

Howdy's Blog #2

Howdy's Blog #3

Music That Howdy Enjoys

Military Music

Blueberry Hill

Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring


A Taste Of Honey - clip

(I Left My Heart) In San Francisco - clip

Take The 'A' Train - clip

Hello, Dolly! - clip

Peggy Sue - clip

Theme From Peter Gunn - clip

Song from Moulin Rouge


Ebb Tide

Tara's Theme from Gone with the Wind

Around the World in 80 Days

Breakfast at Tiffany's


The Way We Were

You Do Something to Me



A Foggy Day



Arrivederci Roma

Theme from Moulin Rouge II

Stardust - Big Band



Rhapsody in Blue

Sleepy Lagoon

My Foolish Heart

Lisbon Antigua

La Mer

April in Portugal

Because of You

Poor People of Paris

Unchained Melody

Stranger on the Shore


Maple Leaf Rag

Voices of Spring

Radetzky March

Water Music (Excerpt) George Frideric Handel

Finale - William Tell Overture

Overture - My Fair Lady

The Rain in Spain

The Lonely Bull - Herb Alpert

Tijuana Taxi - Herb Alpert

The Happy Whistler

So Rare

Mona Lisa

Ghost Riders in the Sky

Walk, Don't Run

Wonderland by Night

Canadian Sunset

Blue Tango

The Happy Wanderer

Down Yonder

Midnight in Moscow

Crazy Medley


That's for Me

Quiet Village

Harbor Lights

Dueling Banjoes II

Autumn Leaves

My Foolish Heart

Don't Know Much





Close To You

Rainy Days & Mondays

Sing A Song

Yesterday Once More

We've Only Just Begun

Goodbye To Love

Only You

As Time Goes By

As Time Goes By II

As Time Goes By - Original

After Loving

San Francisco

Stranger In Paradise

Mrs. Howdy

Rags To Riches

The Good Life

Hello Dolly

All Of Me

Thank Heaven For Little Girls

Beyond The Sea

Everybody Loves

Return To Me

That's Amore

Autumn Leaves

Love Me With All Your Heart

If I Give My Heart To You

Autumn Leaves II

Autumn Leaves III

See The USA

My Prayer

You Always Hurt

Take Me Out To The Ballgame

Love Me Tender

Its Now Or Never

Old Shep

Dont Be Cruel

When I Fall In Love

When I Fall In Love II

When I Fall In Love III

A Fool Such As I

You'll Never Know


I'm Yours

Wish You Were Here

Lady Of Spain


It's Magic

Secret Love

This Magic Moment

My Prayer

Twilight Time

Great Pretender

Harbor Lights

Little Darlin'


No Other Love

Magic Moments

Till The End Of Time

Dont Let The Stars

Overture - Barber of Seville

Back In The Saddle

You Always Hurt

When I Fall

When A Man

True Love



In The Mood

A Taste Of Honey

The Lonely Bull

Lollipops And Roses

This Guys In Love With You

What Now My Love

Three Coins In The Fountain

You've Gotta Have Heart


Stranger In Paradise II

Love Is...


Georgia On My Mind

Sentimental Over You

Thanks For The Memories

Too Young


Never On Sunday

Yellow Rose Of Texas


My Little Corner

Speak Low

Moments To Remember


Be My Love

Embassy Waltz


A Certain Smile

Chances Are

Not For Me To Say

Stranger On The Shore

I'll Be Seeing You

Cherry Pink


Moonlight Serenade

Last Date

Naughty Lady

Til I Kissed You

All I Have To Do Is Dream

Dixie Land Band

Ghost Riders In The Sky

The Happy Wanderer


Santa Catalina

Band Of Gold

Auld Lang Syne

The Wayward Wind

P.S. I Love You

Harbor Lights

Ebb Tide

Lime Light

Green Door

My Heart Cries

Down Yonder

Silvana Mangano Anna

Does Your Chewing Gum?

Grand Night For Singing

Purple People Eater

Orange Blossom Special

I'll Get By

'Til Then

Katie At UNC

Love Letters

As Time Goes By

Cheek To Cheek

Mission Impossible

The Way You Look Tonight


Glad To Be An American

Battle Hymn Of The Republic

How Great Thou Art

Have Thine Own Way

Beyond The Sunset

Amazing Grace

He's Got The Whole World

Peace In The Valley

How Great Thou Art II

Stars & Stripes Forever

Tennessee Waltz

Beverly Hillbillies Theme

El Paso

Happy Trails

Big John

Sixteen Tons

Which Doctor?

Wonderful! Wonderful!




Daniel Boone

Davy Crockett

Dick VanDyke

Donna Reed

Father Knows Best


Gomer Pile


Have Gun

Hawaii Five-O

Hogans Heroes







Law & Order

Lone Ranger

Magnificent 7


Man From Uncle




Mission I

Mr. Ed

My 3 Sons

Raw Hide

Real McCoys

Rifle Man

Secret Agent

Simon & Simon




Super Man














Victory I


The Lion Sleeps Tonight

Mr. Sandman

Only The Lonely

Beyond The Sea


Magnificent 7

Magnificent 7 - II


I Walk The Line

God loves you so much that He died for you!!!


Click Here

Verse of the Day

* * * Four Important Things To KNOW: #1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned & fall short of the glory of God. #2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ (God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of Peace & Savior of the World). #3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone, anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in, relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven). #4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE. No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist, Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives) to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through) ME (no other name). *** This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - - (Rev. 3:20) {Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian - however they are great afterwards!!!} *** Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment), and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness, forever with God), and only a few find it.

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But these are written so that you may
believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the
Son of God, and that by believing in
Him you will have life. Jn 20:31

Seek the Lord while He may be found;
call on Him while He is near. Let the
wicked forsake his way and the evil
man his thoughts. Let him turn to the
Lord, and He will have mercy on him,
and to our God, for He will freely
pardon. "For My thoughts are not
your thoughts, neither are your ways
My ways," declares the Lord. "As the
heavens are higher than the earth, so
are My ways higher than your ways
and My thoughts than your thoughts.
As the rain and the snow come down
from heaven, and do not return to it
without watering the earth and making
it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed
for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is My word that goes out from My
mouth: It will not return to Me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire and
achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
You will go out in joy and be led forth
in peace; the mountains and hills will
burst into song before you, and all the
trees of the field will clap their hands.
Instead of the thornbush will grow the
pine tree, and instead of briers the myrtle
will grow. This will be for the Lord's
renown, for an everlasting sign, which
will not be destroyed." Is 55

O Lord, you have searched me and you
know me. You know when I sit and when
I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying
down; you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue you know
it completely, O Lord. You hem me in -
behind and before; you have laid your
hand upon me. Such knowledge is too
wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where
can I flee from your presence? If I go up
to the heavens, you are there; if I make
my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide
me and the light become night around
me," even the darkness will not be dark
to you; the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you. For you
created my inmost being; you knit me
together in my mother's womb. I praise
you because I am fearfully and wonderfully
made; your works are wonderful, I know
that full well. My frame was not hidden
from you when I was made in the secret
place. When I was woven together in the
depths of the earth, your eyes saw my
unformed body. All the days ordained
for me were written in your book before
one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts,
O God! How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them, they would
outnumber the grains of sand. When
I awake, I am still with you. Search me,
O God, and know my heart; test me
and know my anxious thoughts. See
if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Ps 139

But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.

Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were a present far too small:
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.
- - Isaac Watts

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