It's a dog eat dog world out there. And they're short on napkins.
Never trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Disneyland: A people trap operated by a mouse.
Common Sense Isn't.
Sooner or later, EVERYONE stops smoking.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
The best way to save face is to keep the lower part shut.
Politically Correct School
No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired." You don't have detention, you're just one of the"exit delayed." Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive." These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically declined." Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive." Kids don't get grounded anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps." Your homework isn't missing, its just having an "out-of-notebook experience." You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness." You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time." You're not having a bad hair day, you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome." You don't have smelly gym socks, you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear." No one's tall anymore. He's "vertically enhanced." You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective." You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal." You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations." You're not being sent to the principals office. You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building." It's not called gossip anymore. It's "the speedy transmission of near-factual information." The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively challenged."
A pun is a witty play on words. Sometimes it is a story or sentence including a word that has two meanings, but most often a word is substituted for one that sounds similar, giving a funny or ironic twist to a sentence.
In the 17th and 18th centuries in England, it was fashionable to create short one-syllable words from longer ones. One such word was mob, which was short for mobile. Another may have been pun, from pundigrion, a fancy name for a witty play on words. Pundigrion was probably inherited from Italian puntiglio (nice point; quibble), which also gave us punctilious [adj. pungk-TIL-ee-us] (meticulous; precisely proper).
More recently, these new words have emerged from pun: punster: one who writes or utters puns punnology: the study of wordplay involving puns punnigram: a short witty poem or statement including a pun
We resisted the temptation to include a pun. But if you must have them, here are more than you may ever want: http://www.punpunpun.com/
How the West Was Christianized: Learning from the Middle Ages by Charles Colson
Ten years ago I wrote a book called Against the Night, drawing a parallel between our own day and the sack of Rome by barbarians in ancient times-and warning that the modern barbarians are already at the gates.
Little did I know that, a decade later, I would write another book--this time about how the ancient Vikings and Vandals were eventually subdued by the Christian church . . . and how we too can overcome barbarism in our day.
But to do so, we must understand how the medieval church was so successful. When Rome was sacked in 410 AD, Christians were shocked. By that time, the empire had been largely Christianized, and believers frantically asked why God had not protected them. Where was divine providence?
These questions prompted Augustine to pen his great Book The City of God, warning Christians that they should not confuse the earthly city with the heavenly one. Nor should they view enemies of Rome as necessarily enemies of God. In fact, what believers really ought to do, Augustine said, is get on the ball and convert the barbarians!
And that's exactly what the Church did. After Rome fell, successive waves of barbarians overran the Roman Empire, pillaging and destroying. Cities were reduced to rubble and Roman civilization was destroyed, to be replaced by small kingdoms ruled by illiterate, barbaric warrior-kings.
In this time of cultural dissolution, it was the Church that preserved not only the religion but also the art, literature, and philosophy of Western culture.
Take, for example, St. Patrick, missionary to the Irish. St. Patrick courageously faced down pagan druids, who still practiced human sacrifice. He faced down fierce Irish warriors, who hung their enemies' skulls from their belts as trophies. Into this bloodthirsty culture St. Patrick brought the Christian message of love and forgiveness--with remarkable results. Within his lifetime, the warriors cast aside their swords of battle, and a culture of war and illiteracy became a culture of peace and learning.
What's more, this vibrant Christian culture then sent out a flood of missionaries all across the European continent. The monks carried on their tradition of copying the Bible, along with the other classics of Western literature. Everywhere they went, the Irish monks carried their Bibles and books around their waists- just as the Irish pagans had once tied their enemies' skulls to their waists.
Lasting peace could not come to Europe, however, until the barbarians themselves were evangelized. One of the most exciting chapters in the history of the Christian church is the conversion and transformation of the barbarians from bloodthirsty warriors into peace-loving farmers, living by the work of their hands instead of by theft and plunder.
This is how Christians are meant to function in society--not defeatist nor despairing but always ready to rebuild and restore. Like the Roman Christians in Augustine's day, we too live in a society that was once largely Christianized, but is now succumbing to barbarism.
And we too should be rolling up our sleeves and working to convert the barbarians and rebuild the culture.
"BreakPoint with Chuck Colson" ("BreakPoint") is a daily commentary on news and trends from a Christian perspective. Heard on more than 425 radio stations nationwide, BreakPoint transcripts are also available on the Internet. If you know of others who would enjoy receiving BreakPoint in their E-mail box each day, tell them they can sign up on our Web site at www.breakpoint.org. If they do not have access to the World Wide Web, please call 1-800-457-6125.
The aspiring psychiatrists from various colleges were attending their first siminar on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the professor, to the student from Vanderbilt, "What is the opposite of joy?" "Sadness," said the student. "And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from FSU. "Elation," said she. "And you sir," he said to the young man from UNC, "how about the opposite of woe?" The Tar Heel replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."
Listen to the audio broadcast! http://www.gospelcom.net/cgi-bin/ramhurl?p=pnm&f=/rhm/sounds/awwy/awwy5031.rm
There's a novelty company that's made a lot of money on people having birthdays that they may not be real excited about. You know, like those milestone birthdays: 40, 50, 60. Of course, if you're sad about how many birthdays this is, consider the alternative. That means you've stopped having birthdays, and that's not good. This company produces a whole line of birthday products called "Over the Hill." There are black balloons with those words on them, black banners, cards; all kinds of dark little reminders that tap into the very things you don't want this birthday to mean. A friend of mine who is facing the classic Baby Boomer crossroads of turning 60 was talking about it to an older man he knows. And that man said something I've laughed about several times since then. He said, "Hey, how can I be over the hill when I've never even made it to the top yet?"
I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A Word With You today about "Time is Slipping Away."
After I stopped laughing, I realized that's how a lot of folks really feel about their life. Where did it go? How can it be flying by so fast? Especially when there's so much I thought I would have or do by now and I haven't. Job said it this way, "My days are swifter than a runner" (Job 9:25).
I remember telling the quarterback of our high school's freshman football team, "Chris, you're going to blink your eyes and suddenly you'll be a senior playing your last games." He smiled like, "Yeah, whatever." One day in the senior locker room, he reminded me of what I had told him when he was just starting high school. He said, "Where did it all go so fast? Wasn't I a freshman just yesterday?"
Our word for today from the Word of God, James 4:13-14 puts our little journey on this planet into perspective. The Bible says, "Now listen you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this city or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." And at that point, it's all about eternity. A friend of mine was at a class reunion where he was talking with a classmate who had become a very successful physician. As the conversation turned somehow to talking about God, the doctor said very candidly, "Frankly, I'm nervous about eternity."
We should be, if we're not ready for the God we will meet on the other side. Actually, the Bible tells us that we couldn't be more "unready" to meet God. Isaiah 59:2 says, "Your sins have separated you from your God." The Bible makes it clear that we are all in deep trouble with God because "all have sinned and fallen short of God's glory" (Romans 3:23). We've been so busy pursuing the elusive goal of happiness and success that we've forgotten eternity.
And waiting to get ready for it is just foolhardy. As the Bible says, "Do not boast about (or count on) tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth" (Proverbs 27:1). How many funerals have we been to of people who thought they had more time; maybe lots more time, and suddenly it was over.
We're not ready for eternity unless every sin of our life has been erased from God's book. And there's only one person who can do that: the Person who died to pay for that sin, and that's Jesus. In the words of the Bible, He made "peace (with God) through His blood, shed on the cross" (Colossians 1:20). The choice is simple. Either we put our trust in Jesus and His death for our sins, or we pay that death penalty ourselves - forever. Jesus came to give us heaven. Once you come to His cross and put your total trust in what He did there for you, death is no longer the end, it's just the beginning! All death can do is take you to heaven if you belong to Jesus Christ.
If you don't belong to Him, if you're not sure you belong to Him, don't risk one more day without Him. The Bible says, "Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your heart" (Hebrews 4:7). I urge you to find a place where you can talk to Jesus and tell Him, "Jesus, I'm Yours. You died for my sins so I don't have to, and I know You're my only hope." The Bible says at that moment, you'll be taking from Jesus the gift of eternal life.
At our website, I've provided a brief explanation of how to be sure you belong to Jesus. You can read it or you can listen to it. Would you visit us there at yoursforlife.net? Or call us for Yours For Life in booklet form at 877-741-1200.
The days, the years really do fly faster than we ever dreamed; each day bringing us closer to our last day. There's such wonderful peace in knowing that you're ready for eternity whenever it comes. For you, your last day on earth can be your first day in heaven if you've got Jesus in your heart.
If you're not sure you belong to Jesus, and you would like to make sure today, Ron would like to send to you a free copy of the booklet, "Yours for Life: How to Have Life's Most Important Relationship." To read it online, click here: http://www.yoursforlife.net/
OR, to request your free copy of "Yours for Life," click here: http://rhm.gospelcom.net/yours/yflorder.html
--------------------------------------------------------------------- Discuss today's "A Word With You," post your comments, or encourage others in our discussion forum! http://forums.gospelcom.net/view/rhm/awwy
To find out how you can begin a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, please visit YOURS FOR LIFE: HOW TO HAVE LIFE'S MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP at: http://www.yoursforlife.net Or, call 1-888-NEED HIM.
"A Word With You" by Ron Hutchcraft is a daily radio challenge, with slice-of-life illustrations and insights - providing practical help on the issues that matter most. If your local Christian radio station does not air "A Word With You," please let them know how much you value this program. Over six years of transcripts are available online, at http://rhm.gospelcom.net/awwy.php