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...By Dr. Howdy

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A UNC prof. filled his car with gas at a self-service
gas station. After he had paid and driven away,
he realized that he had left the gas cap on top
of his car. He stopped and looked and, sure
enough, it was lost.

Well, he thought for a second and realized that
other people must have done the same thing,
and that it was worth going back to look by the
side of the road since even if he couldn't find his

own gas cap, he might be able to find one that fit.

Sure enough, he hadn't been searching long when
he found a gas cap. He tried it on, and it went into
place with a satisfying click.

"Great," he thought, "I lost my gas cap, but I found
another one that fits. And this one's even better because
it locks ..."

Q. What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a French kitchen?
A. Linoleum blownapart.
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Did you hear about the snake who gave birth to a bouncing baby boa?
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by Prof. J. Budziszewski

The graduation address you should hear (but probably won’t).
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Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought &
Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
of your choice from the list below:

1) French university students
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring
to Duke, NCSU, JSU, Villanova, MSU. or Florida State.
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"Thought & Humor" has been read in all 50
States, 70 Countries, 7 Continents, many Island Nations,
Oxford, Cambridge, every Ivy League School
& all major American Universities including UNC!!!
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Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes.
There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy.
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This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
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I would like to know how did I start receiving the e-mail. I think it's
cool! Keep up the good work.
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Dear Howdy,

Greeting from Sabah (Malaysia) of Borneo Island...remember Pulau Tiga
(Island), where the first TV series "Survivor" was filmed...

I don't remember how I got into your mailing list, but hey, this is great stuff.
Keep it coming. Could you also send this to my brother-in-law, K. G. He is
from New York but now residing in this part of the world for the past 12 years or so.

John J
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I'm not sure how you got my addressm but I love your Humor!! I'm an
English teacher in China, and loving your stuff! I noticed the soli deo
gloria... EVEN BETTER!! Anyway, thanks for making me laugh and have a
good one!

Oh, and could you add Luther College to the good list and the HORRIBLE, less
dignifiedWartburg Knights to the list of EVIL mongalars? thanks-- all in
Christian love, right:-)

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I'm not sure how or who signed me up to receive your newsletter, but I LOVE IT!!!!!
There should be more people out there like you that share information like this.
Does your newsletter come out weekly? I would love to continue to receive these
and am going to sign up all of my friends.

Sandy (
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Just wanted to write and say I have enjoyed the newsletter very much!
Many times it has brightened my day, and others as wel,l as I share the
thoughts and humor from it.
I am leaving here soon for another job and will no longer be at this
address. May be able to subscribe again later.
Thanks a bunch.
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Free e-mail subscription here:

Send an e-mail to this address...
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Hi- I am not an oxford grad or even a grad for that matter. I am a blond
headed sophmore at Mississippi state university. So i'll make this short and
sweet i enjoy your e-mails they are quite humorous. Please keep me on the
mialing list...

thanks ya'll- Lauren starkville, mississippi
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A basketful of eggs and a four-year-old girl. Got any ideas how this might
turn out? The little girl was my wife. If I tell you how many years ago, I
don't go home tonight. Especially if you are a firstborn like Karen - and
like me, for example - you will understand how this little scene played out
on the basement stairs of the church her family attended. Her Dad said,
"Honey, you should hold Daddy's hand." He wasn't too sure about either his
daughter or the eggs she was carrying. As she grabbed onto the stair railing
with one hand and gripped the handle of the basket with the other hand, she
said, "I'm okay, Daddy." Famous last words. In an instant, she was tumbling
down the steps, head over heels. She had minor boo-boos. The eggs, uh, were
prematurely scrambled.

We smile at a little child's stubborn self-sufficiency, and we miss
how much like us that really is. At least from the vantage point of our
Heavenly Father.

That's why our Father gives us clear instructions on the way to make
it and the way to mess it up ... the way to get safely where we need to go
and the way to break all the eggs. It's summed up in two of the most quoted
verses in the Bible from Proverbs 3:5-6. It could be your life verse and
still not be the way you live! Our word for today from the Word of God says:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own
understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths

Trust in Him, not in yourself. Lean on what He shows you and not on
what you can figure out by yourself. It could be that you're running
full-steam right now, pursuing your goal or managing your situation or
fixing your problem. But the still, small voice of your Heavenly Father is
whispering in your heart, "My child, you should hold My hand." But you're
Mr. or Miss Self-Sufficient, right? You're smart, you're skilled, you're
strong - and, from God's perspective, you're a control freak. Sure, you want
Jesus with you, but you don't really want Him running things. "I can do
this, Daddy. I can fix this. I can handle this." Followed soon by the crash,
the breakage, the boo-boos.

Sure, you're officially, theologically trusting God, but in reality,
you're trusting what you can do. In reality, while Jesus is your "Chairman"
on the letterhead, in the stuff that really matters you're really in charge
and Jesus' role in just honorary. Let's put it this way: you're driving down
the road and you see this hitchhiker by the side of the road. You go against
your usual instincts and you pull over to pick him up. As you open the
passenger door, you're stunned to see Jesus Himself standing there. You say,
"Jesus, this is such an honor. Would you please get in and ride with me?"
And He'll say, "No." You'll probably ask, "Why not?" That's when Jesus will
say, "Because I don't ride. I drive. You let me know when you're ready for
Me to drive."

See, you were never meant to drive. You were never meant to carry
all this. That's why there are so many stumbles, so many falls, so many
breaks. Right now, your Lord - who won the right to run your life when He
gave His life for you - your Lord is saying it one more time, "Take My hand.
Lean on Me. Let Me lead." Don't tell Him, "No, I'm okay, Daddy. I can do it
myself." That only leads to a fall. Don't make another step without grabbing
your Father's hand and letting Him lead.
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To find out how you can begin a personal relationship with
Jesus Christ, please visit YOURS FOR LIFE: HOW TO

1-888-NEED HIM.
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Depressed, Troubled, Worried???
Big Problems???
Want to talk with a LIVE trained counselor???
Want to get REAL help???
(FREE - English/Spanish)

(Not associated with 'Thought & Humor')
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by Matt Kaufman

A university said there could only be one conservative
student group — until the story went public.
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Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the
nations, I will be exalted in the earth. --Psalm 46
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Two UNC football players were taking an important final exam. If they
failed, they would be on academic probation & not allowed to play in
the big game the following week against N.C. State. The exam was fill-in-the-blank.

The last question read, "Old MacDonald had a ________."

Putty Duh was stumped. He had no idea what to answer. But he knew he
needed to get this one right to be sure he passed.

Making sure the professor wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny on the
shoulder. "Pssst. Tiny. What's the answer to the last question?"

Tiny quietly laughed. He looked around to make sure the professor
hadn't noticed, then he turned to Putty Duh. "Putty, you're so stupid.
Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a FARM."

"Oh yeah," said Putty Duh. "I remember now."

He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the
blank. He stopped. Tapping Tiny's shoulder again, he whispered, "Tiny, how do you spell farm?"

"You are really dumb, Putty Duh. That's so easy. Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O."
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"Only a Wall"
Isaiah 59:2

Listen to the audio broadcast!

This may come as quite a surprise to you, but there were a lot of rumors in college that I was behind many of the practical jokes and pranks that happened while I was there. That's hard to imagine, isn't it? It wouldn't come as a total surprise to some of those folks that I finally ended up in the penitentiary; Alcatraz, in fact. Fortunately, my sentence was only about four hours. Actually, we had taken some young people out to that famous prison in the middle of San Francisco Bay to do a special radio program. Of course, it's been some years since any prisoners were held there on what they called The Rock, but it is still quite a place to see. While we were there, we experienced the awful claustrophobia of being locked in one of those little cells and the isolation of being in solitary confinement. For the closing segment of the program, we walked out of one of the prison gates and down to the rocks outside that overlook the bay. One of the young people with us was walk!
ing out with me, and he made quite an observation. "Just think," he said, "there was only a wall between them and all this beauty."

I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A Word With You today about "Only a Wall."

Our word for today from the Word of God is about just such a wall; one which may be keeping you from beauty you were made for. Our word for today from the Word of God is Isaiah 59:2, and it says, "Your iniquities" - that's all the times that we've done things our way instead of God's way - "Your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden His face from you." Separation - that was the feeling we felt so strongly at Alcatraz. A person there was, in simple words, cut off from love, from freedom, from a beautiful world.

In a sense, God is saying here that we are all prisoners in our own personal Alcatraz - cut off from Him, from His love, His peace, and His heaven, which may account for an incurable loneliness that you've experienced over the years. It turns out we're lonely for God, because our sin has built a wall between us and our Creator. In fact, you may very well not have needed me to realize that there's a wall between you and God. You've felt it for a long time. If that wall doesn't come down in time, it becomes a death sentence; separation from God that is irreversible - eternal.

The wall that separates you from the beauty God wants you to have can come down, but not because of anything you or I can do about it. Somehow, our sins have to be removed and forgiven, and the death penalty paid by someone who takes our place. 1 Peter 3:18 in the Bible says "Christ died for our sins, ... the righteous (that's Him) for the unrighteous (that's you and me), to bring you to God." What Jesus did on the cross was to take your rap. You did the sinning, but Jesus did the dying. Which means the wall can come down the moment you put your total trust in Jesus to erase your sins from God's book and give you eternal life in place of eternal death.

When the door opened that day in the prison we were in, we were so anxious to leave behind that darkness and that loneliness and to finally step out to where we could breathe free and enjoy the beauty just beyond the wall. That's exactly what God wants you to experience today. He wants the wall between you and Him to come down, and it can - upon your invitation.

This could be the day when you say, "Lord, I believe that some of those sins you were dying for were mine. I turn from the running of my own life. You were meant to run it, and you will from now on. Jesus, because you died on the cross for me, I am Yours." That's the moment the wall comes down and you experience what God has for you.

If that's what you want, I wish you'd visit our website. I invite you to do that. It's called, and there I've kind of laid out a brief explanation of how to get started with Jesus Christ. It's I hope you'll visit us there. Or if you'd rather call and get the booklet, you can call toll free at 877-741-1200.

Today you're at the door. Jesus is on the other side waiting to lead you out. Follow Him. It's really beautiful on the other side of the wall.

If you're not sure you belong to Jesus, and you would like to make sure today, Ron would like to send to you a free copy of the booklet, "Yours for Life: How to Have Life's Most Important Relationship." To read it online, click here:

OR, to request your free copy of "Yours for Life," click here:

Discuss today's "A Word With You," post your comments, or encourage others in our discussion forum!

To find out how you can begin a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, please visit YOURS FOR LIFE: HOW TO HAVE LIFE'S MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP at:
Or, call 1-888-NEED HIM.
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* * * Great Archives Here - - - - "Music That Howdy Enjoys" Below * * * * * * * * * * * * For God loves YOU so very much that He gave His only Son so that if YOU believe in Him you will not perish but will live with Him forever!!!

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* * * Great Archives Here - - - - "Music That Howdy Enjoys" Below * * *

February 2006   March 2006   April 2006   May 2006   June 2006   July 2006   August 2006   September 2006   October 2006   November 2006   December 2006   December 2007  

How Can I Know God???

Tales of Narnia

Answering Islam

The Da Vinci Code

A Short Look At Six World Religions

Bible - God's Word in different languages...

My Heart Christ's Home

Big John's America

Not Garbage

Discovery Institute

See The Word

Bible Study Info

Don't Be Left Behind

For The University Students & Faculty

How to become a Christian

The Berean Call

Great For Kids

Stories For Kids

Promoting Your Own Blog

Looking For God

Bible Knowledge Challenge

The Young Earth Club

Who Is Jesus???

Christian Apologetics

Christian Web Info

Great Christians In History

History of American Christianity

Bible Instructions


Dr. Ben Haden

Bible Search Tools

Kids For Truth

Lincoln - A Christian

Mission To America

One Place For Learning

President Lincoln

Purgatory, Heaven Or Hell?

Intellectual Takeout

Evangelical Viewpoint

Dr. John Vernon McGee

Insight For Living

Turning Point

Outstanding Bible Teacher

Dr. Tony Evans

Listen To The Bible

Is Jesus God?


Great Bible Teaching

America - Why I Love Her

How To Become A Christian

*Watch The Jesus Movie*


Your very own library

Muhammad or Jesus???

Why The U.S.A. Is At War - 1

Why The U.S.A. Is At War - 2

Christian Women

Politics & Religion

Is Jesus God?

Statement Of What Howdy Believes!!!

Bible Crosswords

Los Angeles

Bible Search Tool

Great Bible Teacher

All About Cults

Religion Comparison

The Relationship of the Church to Israel

Just For Guys

Church History

***Watch The Jesus Movie***
{Many Languages}

Howdy's Blog #2

Howdy's Blog #3

Music That Howdy Enjoys

Military Music

Blueberry Hill

Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring


A Taste Of Honey - clip

(I Left My Heart) In San Francisco - clip

Take The 'A' Train - clip

Hello, Dolly! - clip

Peggy Sue - clip

Theme From Peter Gunn - clip

Song from Moulin Rouge


Ebb Tide

Tara's Theme from Gone with the Wind

Around the World in 80 Days

Breakfast at Tiffany's


The Way We Were

You Do Something to Me



A Foggy Day



Arrivederci Roma

Theme from Moulin Rouge II

Stardust - Big Band



Rhapsody in Blue

Sleepy Lagoon

My Foolish Heart

Lisbon Antigua

La Mer

April in Portugal

Because of You

Poor People of Paris

Unchained Melody

Stranger on the Shore


Maple Leaf Rag

Voices of Spring

Radetzky March

Water Music (Excerpt) George Frideric Handel

Finale - William Tell Overture

Overture - My Fair Lady

The Rain in Spain

The Lonely Bull - Herb Alpert

Tijuana Taxi - Herb Alpert

The Happy Whistler

So Rare

Mona Lisa

Ghost Riders in the Sky

Walk, Don't Run

Wonderland by Night

Canadian Sunset

Blue Tango

The Happy Wanderer

Down Yonder

Midnight in Moscow

Crazy Medley


That's for Me

Quiet Village

Harbor Lights

Dueling Banjoes II

Autumn Leaves

My Foolish Heart

Don't Know Much





Close To You

Rainy Days & Mondays

Sing A Song

Yesterday Once More

We've Only Just Begun

Goodbye To Love

Only You

As Time Goes By

As Time Goes By II

As Time Goes By - Original

After Loving

San Francisco

Stranger In Paradise

Mrs. Howdy

Rags To Riches

The Good Life

Hello Dolly

All Of Me

Thank Heaven For Little Girls

Beyond The Sea

Everybody Loves

Return To Me

That's Amore

Autumn Leaves

Love Me With All Your Heart

If I Give My Heart To You

Autumn Leaves II

Autumn Leaves III

See The USA

My Prayer

You Always Hurt

Take Me Out To The Ballgame

Love Me Tender

Its Now Or Never

Old Shep

Dont Be Cruel

When I Fall In Love

When I Fall In Love II

When I Fall In Love III

A Fool Such As I

You'll Never Know


I'm Yours

Wish You Were Here

Lady Of Spain


It's Magic

Secret Love

This Magic Moment

My Prayer

Twilight Time

Great Pretender

Harbor Lights

Little Darlin'


No Other Love

Magic Moments

Till The End Of Time

Dont Let The Stars

Overture - Barber of Seville

Back In The Saddle

You Always Hurt

When I Fall

When A Man

True Love



In The Mood

A Taste Of Honey

The Lonely Bull

Lollipops And Roses

This Guys In Love With You

What Now My Love

Three Coins In The Fountain

You've Gotta Have Heart


Stranger In Paradise II

Love Is...


Georgia On My Mind

Sentimental Over You

Thanks For The Memories

Too Young


Never On Sunday

Yellow Rose Of Texas


My Little Corner

Speak Low

Moments To Remember


Be My Love

Embassy Waltz


A Certain Smile

Chances Are

Not For Me To Say

Stranger On The Shore

I'll Be Seeing You

Cherry Pink


Moonlight Serenade

Last Date

Naughty Lady

Til I Kissed You

All I Have To Do Is Dream

Dixie Land Band

Ghost Riders In The Sky

The Happy Wanderer


Santa Catalina

Band Of Gold

Auld Lang Syne

The Wayward Wind

P.S. I Love You

Harbor Lights

Ebb Tide

Lime Light

Green Door

My Heart Cries

Down Yonder

Silvana Mangano Anna

Does Your Chewing Gum?

Grand Night For Singing

Purple People Eater

Orange Blossom Special

I'll Get By

'Til Then

Katie At UNC

Love Letters

As Time Goes By

Cheek To Cheek

Mission Impossible

The Way You Look Tonight


Glad To Be An American

Battle Hymn Of The Republic

How Great Thou Art

Have Thine Own Way

Beyond The Sunset

Amazing Grace

He's Got The Whole World

Peace In The Valley

How Great Thou Art II

Stars & Stripes Forever

Tennessee Waltz

Beverly Hillbillies Theme

El Paso

Happy Trails

Big John

Sixteen Tons

Which Doctor?

Wonderful! Wonderful!




Daniel Boone

Davy Crockett

Dick VanDyke

Donna Reed

Father Knows Best


Gomer Pile


Have Gun

Hawaii Five-O

Hogans Heroes







Law & Order

Lone Ranger

Magnificent 7


Man From Uncle




Mission I

Mr. Ed

My 3 Sons

Raw Hide

Real McCoys

Rifle Man

Secret Agent

Simon & Simon




Super Man














Victory I


The Lion Sleeps Tonight

Mr. Sandman

Only The Lonely

Beyond The Sea


Magnificent 7

Magnificent 7 - II


I Walk The Line

God loves you so much that He died for you!!!


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Verse of the Day

* * * Four Important Things To KNOW: #1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned & fall short of the glory of God. #2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ (God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of Peace & Savior of the World). #3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone, anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in, relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven). #4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE. No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist, Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives) to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through) ME (no other name). *** This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - - (Rev. 3:20) {Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian - however they are great afterwards!!!} *** Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment), and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness, forever with God), and only a few find it.

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But these are written so that you may
believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the
Son of God, and that by believing in
Him you will have life. Jn 20:31

Seek the Lord while He may be found;
call on Him while He is near. Let the
wicked forsake his way and the evil
man his thoughts. Let him turn to the
Lord, and He will have mercy on him,
and to our God, for He will freely
pardon. "For My thoughts are not
your thoughts, neither are your ways
My ways," declares the Lord. "As the
heavens are higher than the earth, so
are My ways higher than your ways
and My thoughts than your thoughts.
As the rain and the snow come down
from heaven, and do not return to it
without watering the earth and making
it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed
for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is My word that goes out from My
mouth: It will not return to Me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire and
achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
You will go out in joy and be led forth
in peace; the mountains and hills will
burst into song before you, and all the
trees of the field will clap their hands.
Instead of the thornbush will grow the
pine tree, and instead of briers the myrtle
will grow. This will be for the Lord's
renown, for an everlasting sign, which
will not be destroyed." Is 55

O Lord, you have searched me and you
know me. You know when I sit and when
I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying
down; you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue you know
it completely, O Lord. You hem me in -
behind and before; you have laid your
hand upon me. Such knowledge is too
wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where
can I flee from your presence? If I go up
to the heavens, you are there; if I make
my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide
me and the light become night around
me," even the darkness will not be dark
to you; the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you. For you
created my inmost being; you knit me
together in my mother's womb. I praise
you because I am fearfully and wonderfully
made; your works are wonderful, I know
that full well. My frame was not hidden
from you when I was made in the secret
place. When I was woven together in the
depths of the earth, your eyes saw my
unformed body. All the days ordained
for me were written in your book before
one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts,
O God! How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them, they would
outnumber the grains of sand. When
I awake, I am still with you. Search me,
O God, and know my heart; test me
and know my anxious thoughts. See
if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Ps 139

But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.

Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were a present far too small:
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.
- - Isaac Watts

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