Two UNC* grads bought a truckload of watermelons, paying one dollar apiece for them. Then they drove to the market and sold all their melons for the same price they'd paid for them.
After counting their money at the end of the day, they realized they ended up with no more money than they'd started with.
"See!" said one. "I told you we shoulda got a bigger truck."
________ *UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill. Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including: B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), A.P.E., B.R.C. (Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898 for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State.
Permission is hereby granted for you to change all humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought & Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another of your choice from the list below:
1) French university students 2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley 3) Any accredited high school or middle school 4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits 5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops 6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring to NCSU, JSU, MSU, USC, UGA, or FSU.
===============
"How to Be Sure You're a REAL Christian"
1-888-NEED-HIM
(24/7 - free call)
===============
Depressed, Troubled, Worried??? Big Problems??? Want to talk with a LIVE trained counselor??? Want to get REAL help??? (FREE - English/Spanish)
I am trying here to prevent anyone from saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him [Jesus Christ]: "I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don't accept His claim to be God."
That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic -- on a level with a man who says he is a poached egg -- or else he would be the Devil of Hell.
You must make your choice. Either this Man was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse .... You can shut Him up for fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come up with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that option open to us. He did not intend to.
-- From Case for Christianity, by C.S. Lewis
===============
"Let every student be plainly instructed and earnestly pressed to consider well the main end of his life and studies is to know God and Jesus Christ which is eternal life (John 17:3)."
- - - The Laws and Statutes of Harvard College in 1643
"All scholars shall live religious, godly, and blameless lives according to the rules of God's Word, diligently reading the Holy Scriptures, the fountain of light and truth; and constantly attend upon all the duties of religion, both in public and secret."
- - - Two central requirements in Yale College 1745 charter
Two UNC* grads bought a truckload of watermelons,
ReplyDeletepaying one dollar apiece for them. Then they drove to the market
and sold all their melons for the same price they'd paid for them.
After counting their money at the end of the day, they
realized they ended up with no more money than they'd started with.
"See!" said one. "I told you we shoulda got a bigger truck."
________
*UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill.
Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including:
B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), A.P.E., B.R.C.
(Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898
for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were
unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher
learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State.
ReplyDeletePermission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought
& Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
of your choice from the list below:
1) French university students
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring
to NCSU, JSU, MSU, USC, UGA, or FSU.
===============
"How to Be Sure You're
a REAL Christian"
1-888-NEED-HIM
(24/7 - free call)
===============
Depressed, Troubled, Worried???
Big Problems???
Want to talk with a LIVE trained counselor???
Want to get REAL help???
(FREE - English/Spanish)
1-800-633-3446
Click Here
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')
===============
I am trying here to prevent anyone from saying the really
foolish thing that people often say about Him [Jesus Christ]:
"I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I
don't accept His claim to be God."
That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was
merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would
not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic --
on a level with a man who says he is a poached egg --
or else he would be the Devil of Hell.
You must make your choice. Either this Man was, and is,
the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse ....
You can shut Him up for fool, you can spit at Him and kill
Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him
Lord and God. But let us not come up with any patronizing
nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has
not left that option open to us. He did not intend to.
-- From Case for Christianity, by C.S. Lewis
===============
"Let every student be plainly instructed and earnestly pressed to consider
well the main end of his life and studies is to know God and Jesus Christ
which is eternal life (John 17:3)."
- - - The Laws and Statutes of Harvard College in 1643
"All scholars shall live religious, godly, and blameless lives according
to the rules of God's Word, diligently reading the Holy Scriptures, the
fountain of light and truth; and constantly attend upon all the duties
of religion, both in public and secret."
- - - Two central requirements in Yale College 1745 charter
===============
Muhammad or Jesus???
Click Here
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')