Old world charm .................. No bath Tropical ................................ Rainy Majestic setting ..................... A long way from town Options galore ...................... Nothing is included in the itinerary Secluded hideaway ................ Impossible to find or get to Pre-registered rooms ............. Already occupied Explore on your own .............. Pay for it yourself Knowledgeable trip hosts ....... They've flown in an airplane before No extra fees ........................ No extras Nominal fee .......................... Outrageous charge Standard ............................... Sub-standard Deluxe .................................. Standard Superior ............................... One free shower cap Cozy .................................... Small All the amenities ................... Two free shower caps Plush ................................... Top and bottom sheets Gentle breezes .................... Occasional Gale-force winds Light and airy ...................... No air conditioning Picturesque ......................... Theme park nearby Concierge ........................... Stand with tourist brochures Continental breakfast .......... Free muffin
Q: Why is 'Thought & Humor' so long? A: All newspapers & magazines are long!
Q: What if I can't read all of it? A: Delete it. Most folks don't read every word in every newspaper/magazine either?
Q: Am I required to memorize each article? A: Nope! Delete what you don't have time for or save for another time.
Q: Is 'T & H' Spam? A: No, it's made entirely of ham.
Q: Can I forward to friends & family? A: Please do.
Q: How many people have had opportunity to read 'T & H' E-Mail Newspapers? A: Well over 1 million + many forwards by you.
Q: Who is Howdy? A: We let him think he's the boss...
===============
Take the best medicine of all for what ails you -- laughter:
"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs--jolted by every pebble in the road." ~Henry Ward Beecher "Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects." --Arnold Glasow "Laughter is by definition healthy." --Doris Lessing "If somebody makes me laugh, I'm his slave for life." --Bette Midler "The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter." --Mark Twain "What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul." -- Yiddish Proverb "Laughter is an instant vacation." -- Milton Berle "Laughter is the shortest distance between two people." -- Victor Borge
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. (King Solomon)
NOTICE: The jokes published in this list were either submitted directly to 'Thought & Humor' or are, we believe, in the public domain. If you think that we have published a joke without giving proper credit to its author/owner, please let us know and we will provide appropriate credit in a future mailing.
Translations of hotel terms!
ReplyDeleteOld world charm .................. No bath
Tropical ................................ Rainy
Majestic setting ..................... A long way from town
Options galore ...................... Nothing is included in the itinerary
Secluded hideaway ................ Impossible to find or get to
Pre-registered rooms ............. Already occupied
Explore on your own .............. Pay for it yourself
Knowledgeable trip hosts ....... They've flown in an airplane before
No extra fees ........................ No extras
Nominal fee .......................... Outrageous charge
Standard ............................... Sub-standard
Deluxe .................................. Standard
Superior ............................... One free shower cap
Cozy .................................... Small
All the amenities ................... Two free shower caps
Plush ................................... Top and bottom sheets
Gentle breezes .................... Occasional Gale-force winds
Light and airy ...................... No air conditioning
Picturesque ......................... Theme park nearby
Concierge ........................... Stand with tourist brochures
Continental breakfast .......... Free muffin
ReplyDeleteQ: Why is 'Thought & Humor' so long?
A: All newspapers & magazines are long!
Q: What if I can't read all of it?
A: Delete it. Most folks don't read every word in every newspaper/magazine either?
Q: Am I required to memorize each article?
A: Nope! Delete what you don't have time for or save for another time.
Q: Is 'T & H' Spam?
A: No, it's made entirely of ham.
Q: Can I forward to friends & family?
A: Please do.
Q: How many people have had opportunity to read 'T & H' E-Mail Newspapers?
A: Well over 1 million + many forwards by you.
Q: Who is Howdy?
A: We let him think he's the boss...
===============
Take the best medicine of all for what ails you -- laughter:
"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon
without springs--jolted by every pebble in the road."
~Henry Ward Beecher
"Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects."
--Arnold Glasow
"Laughter is by definition healthy."
--Doris Lessing
"If somebody makes me laugh, I'm his slave for life."
--Bette Midler
"The human race has one really effective weapon,
and that is laughter."
--Mark Twain
"What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul."
-- Yiddish Proverb
"Laughter is an instant vacation."
-- Milton Berle
"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."
-- Victor Borge
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the
heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time
to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a
time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a
time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. (King Solomon)
NOTICE: The jokes published in this list were either submitted
directly to 'Thought & Humor' or are, we believe, in the public
domain. If you think that we have published a joke without
giving proper credit to its author/owner, please let us know
and we will provide appropriate credit in a future mailing.