My friend, Bill, was talking to me about his son's expectations.
He called them "microwave expectations." Bill was in his early
50s, and his son Ken had been married for about a year, and
his son wanted everything fast - like in a microwave. Bill said,
"I can't believe it. They want all this stuff immediately! They've
been married one year and they want a home, they want furniture,
and they want a new car. They want in a year what it took us
20 years to get!" That's not unusual - the child expects more
than the father had...
MORE!!!
LISTEN!!!
"The Bible is no mere book, but a Living Creature, with a
ReplyDeletepower that conquers all that oppose it." - Napoleon
"That Book accounts for the supremacy of England."
- Queen Victoria
"Bible reading is an education in itself." - Lord Tennyson (Poet)
"The existence of the Bible, as a Book for the people, is the greatest
benefit which the human race has ever experienced. Every attempt to
belittle it is a crime against humanity." - Immanuel Kant (Philosopher)
"The New Testament is the very best Book that ever or ever will be
known in the world." - Charles Dickens (Author)
"All human discoveries seem to be made only for the purpose of
confirming more and more strongly the truths contained in the
Sacred Scriptures." - Sir William Herschel (Astronomer)
"There are more sure marks of authenticity in the Bible than in
any profane history." - Sir Isaac Newton (Scientist)
"Let mental culture go on advancing, let the natural sciences
progress in even greater extent and depth, and the human
mind widen itself as much as it desires; beyond the elevation
and moral culture of Christianity, as it shines forth in the Gospels,
it will not go." - Goethe (Author)
"I have known ninety-five of the world's great men in my time,
and of these eight-seven were followers of the Bible. The Bible
is stamped with a Specialty of Origin, and an immeasurable
distance separates it from all competitors." - W.E. Gladstone (Prime Minister)
"Whatever merit there is in anything that I have written is simply
due to the fact that when I was a chile my mother daily read me
a part of the Bible and daily made me learn a part of it by heart."
- John Ruskin (art critic and social commentator)
"The Bible has been the Magna Charta of the poor and oppressed.
The human race is not in a position to dispense with it." - Thomas
Huxley (Author & Scientist)
===============
Take the best medicine of all for what ails you -- laughter:
"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon
without springs--jolted by every pebble in the road."
~Henry Ward Beecher
"Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects."
--Arnold Glasow
"Laughter is by definition healthy."
--Doris Lessing
"If somebody makes me laugh, I'm his slave for life."
--Bette Midler
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."
--Mark Twain
"What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul."
-- Yiddish Proverb
"Laughter is an instant vacation."
-- Milton Berle
"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."
-- Victor Borge
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the
heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time
to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a
time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a
time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. (King Solomon)
NOTICE: The jokes published in this list were either submitted
directly to 'Thought & Humor' or are, we believe, in the public
domain. If you think that we have published a joke without
giving proper credit to its author/owner, please let us know
and we will provide appropriate credit in a future mailing.
===============
Four important things to KNOW:
1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus,
Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist,
Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned
& fall short of the glory of God.
2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal
separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at
no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is
Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ
(God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of
Peace & Savior of the World).
3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world
(Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist,
Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians,
Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up
His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone,
anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in,
relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall
have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven).
4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE.
No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic,
Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist,
Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives)
to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through)
ME (no other name).
This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - -
(Rev. 3:20)
{Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good
things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian -
however they are great afterwards!!!}
Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that
leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment),
and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow
the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness,
forever with God), and only a few find it. --Matthew 7:13-14
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The "E-Mail Newspaper" containing 'Thought & Humor'
is sent out FREE via e-mail w/o ads. This information
was sent to you because you made the request, 'Thought
& Humor' is one small attempt to obey "The Great* Com-
mission". First published in the last century (July 26, 1997).
Soli Deo Gloria...
________ "E-Mail Newspaper (Free4u)" _________
References gleaned for great humor & information: Merry Heart,
Thomas S. Elworth, Funny List, MeMail, Daily Dose, Joke of the Day,
Kim Komando, Shagmail, MIKEY'S FUNNIES , The Daily Tease,
Crosswalk.com, humorcartoons@arcamax.com & Gophercentral.
*http://www.transferableconcepts.com/commission/
Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.
'Thought & Humor' respects your privacy and wishes to honor
your desires to not receive e-mail from us if that's your choice,
and we apologize if any message causes any inconvenience
to you or your computer. We have never given any reader's
e-mail addresses to a third party & have no plans to do such
unless the price is right:o) (Liberals please note - that was
humor) The E-Mail Newspaper is sent to you with love.
ReplyDeleteFour important things to KNOW:
1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus,
Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist,
Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned
& fall short of the glory of God.
2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal
separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at
no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is
Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ
(God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of
Peace & Savior of the World).
3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world
(Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist,
Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians,
Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up
His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone,
anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in,
relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall
have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven).
4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE.
No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic,
Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist,
Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives)
to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through)
ME (no other name).
This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - -
(Rev. 3:20)
{Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good
things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian -
however they are great afterwards!!!}
Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that
leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment),
and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow
the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness,
forever with God), and only a few find it. --Matthew 7:13-14
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The "E-Mail Newspaper" containing 'Thought & Humor'
is sent out FREE via e-mail w/o ads. This information
was sent to you because you made the request, 'Thought
& Humor' is one small attempt to obey "The Great* Com-
mission". First published in the last century (July 26, 1997).
Soli Deo Gloria...
________ "E-Mail Newspaper (Free4u)" _________
References gleaned for great humor & information: Merry Heart,
Thomas S. Elworth, Funny List, MeMail, Daily Dose, Joke of the Day,
Kim Komando, MIKEY'S FUNNIES , The Daily Tease, Crosswalk.com,
CLEAN LAFFS & Gophercentral.
Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.
'Thought & Humor' respects your privacy and wishes to honor
your desires to not receive e-mail from us if that's your choice,
and we apologize if any message causes any inconvenience
to you or your computer. We have never given any reader's
e-mail addresses to a third party & have no plans to do such
unless the price is right:o) (Liberals please note - that was
humor) The E-Mail Newspaper is sent to you with love.
But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16