"The town of Clark, Texas has agreed to change its name to Dish, Texas after the dish network gave all its residence free dish satellite TV for the next ten years. This is the sort of thing that can backfire on a town - just ask the people of Betamax, Wyoming." --Jay Leno
"John Kerry today apologized for his botched joke. Political analysts say that this has hurt Kerry's chances to run for president in 2008. Apparently his chances have gone from zero to below zero." --Conan O'Brien