UNC* Student to Ticket Agent: I want to buy a bus ticket for Norwald.
Ticket Agent, Searching Book: Norwald? Let me find that. Hmm... never heard of it. Let me see... Norwald. I don't see Norwald listed, and I can't find it on the map. Just where is Norwald, anyway?
UNC student: Over there. He's my roommate.
*Please see "comments" for additional pertinent information.
Comment & Forward>>>
Comments:
*Permission is hereby granted for you to change all humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought & Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another of your choice from the list below:
1) French university students 2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley 3) Any accredited high school or middle school 4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits 5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops 6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring to NCSU, JSU, MSU, USC, UGA, or FSU. 7) It is against international law to transmute any jocoseness found in this newspaper to any school if their mascot is the Wolfpack. If attempts are made, your computer will automatically notify the FBI, CIA, and the KGB and you will be charged with... "performing an illegal operation".
The Bible claims to be the Word of the only true God. In addition to historical, archaeological, and scientific proofs, there are numerous internal proofs. No such evidences exist for other "sacred writings."
The Bible was written during 1,600 years by 40 prophets, most of whom lived in diverse cultures, at different times in history, yet who never contradict but complement each other. For the Qur'an, Muslims must take the word of Muhammad, just as the Book of Mormon rests solely upon Joseph Smith's word. But every biblical prophet is confirmed by 39 other prophets. - - Dave Hunt
===============
Four important things to KNOW:
1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned & fall short of the glory of God.
2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ (God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of Peace & Savior of the World).
3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone, anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in, relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven).
4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE. No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist, Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives) to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through) ME (no other name).
This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - - (Rev. 3:20)
{Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian - however they are great afterwards!!!}
Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment), and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness, forever with God), and only a few find it. --Matthew 7:13-14
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The "E-Mail Newspaper" containing 'Thought & Humor' is sent out FREE via e-mail w/o ads. This information was sent to you because you made the request, 'Thought & Humor' is one small attempt to obey "The Great* Com- mission". First published in the last century (July 26, 1997). Soli Deo Gloria... ________ "E-Mail Newspaper (Free4u)" _________ References gleaned for great humor & information: Merry Heart, Thomas S. Elworth, Funny List, MeMail, Daily Dose, Joke of the Day, Kim Komando, Shagmail, MIKEY'S FUNNIES , The Daily Tease, Crosswalk.com, CLEAN LAFFS & Gophercentral.
Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.
'Thought & Humor' respects your privacy and wishes to honor your desires to not receive e-mail from us if that's your choice, and we apologize if any message causes any inconvenience to you or your computer. We have never given any reader's e-mail addresses to a third party & have no plans to do such unless the price is right:o) (Liberals please note - that was humor) The E-Mail Newspaper is sent to you with love.
But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up, that I may show My power in you, and that My Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16