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Thursday

 

UNC Student Injured



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Ever hear about the UNC student who got hurt
when he fell out of the tree while raking leaves?





Comments:
A man was chosen for jury duty who very much wanted to be
dismissed from serving. He tried every excuse he could think
of but none of them worked.

On the day of the trial he decided to give it one more shot. As the
trial was about to begin he asked if he could approach the bench.

"Your Honor," he said, " I must be excused from this trial because I
am prejudiced against the defendant. I took one look at the man in
his blue suit with those beady eyes and that dishonest face and I
said to myself, 'He's a crook! He's guilty, guilty, guilty!' So, your
Honor, I could not possibly stay on this jury!"

With a tired annoyance the judge replied, "Get back in the jury box.
That man is his lawyer."
  .comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
A UNC grad spent all day making his funny money. At the
end of the day he realizes he spent all his time making $15 bills.

He figures that the only way he's going to get anything from this
batch of money, is to find a place where the people aren't too
bright and change his phony money for real cash.

He travels to a small town in the backwoods and walks into a
small Mom and Pop grocery store. He goes to the old man
behind the counter and asks him, "Do you have change for a $15 bill?"

The old man replies, "I sure do. How would you like that?
An 8 and a 7 or two 6s and a three?"
  .comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
A note left for a pianist from his wife: "Gone Chopin,
have Liszt, Bach in a Minuet."
  .comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
Godiva Chocolates were launched in 1926 in Brussels,
Belgium, when master chocolatier Joseph Draps founded,
with his family, a chocolate company named in honor of the
1040 A.D. legend of Lady Godiva. Draps had perfected a unique
formula of rich, smooth chocolate. With an eye for detail,
he launched elegant, European shell-moulded designs and
exquisite packaging. Through the years, his standards have
been maintained as zealously as his recipes have been
guarded. Since its U.S. introduction in 1966, Godiva
continues to be a leader in the premium confectionery
industry. Godiva's famous Open Oyster, a shell-moulded
chocolate filled with hazelnut praliné, is the company's
best-selling individual chocolate piece
  .comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
A UNC grad had always dreamed of owning his own cattle
ranch, and finally made enough money to buy himself the
spread of his dreams in Wyoming.

"So, what did you name the ranch?" asked his best friend
when he flew out to visit.

"We had a heck of a time," admitted the new cowboy.
"Couldn't agree on anything. We finally settled on the
Double R Lazy L Triple Horseshoe Bar-7 Lucky Diamond Ranch."

"Wow!" his friend was impressed. But looking around he
saw no cattle. "So... where are all the cows?"

"None of 'em survived the branding."
  .comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
Driving is never more exciting than it is during a major snowstorm.
In fact, it is so exciting you ought to avoid it. Sometimes you just can't.
I was scheduled to speak at a retreat in the Pocono Mountains one January
weekend and a major snowstorm moved in right on the Friday when everyone
is supposed to be traveling to Pennsylvania from New Jersey. I waited all day
for the call, "Sorry, it's been cancelled." I got the call. They were still going,
and by that time it was dark. It was snowing very impressively, so I traveled
at a very reduced speed and it looked almost impossible to make it until I
spotted my friend up ahead - my friend the snow plow. He was clearing a
lane as he went. I just fell in right behind Mr. Snow Plow and followed him
through the storm all the way to the state line.

Our word for today from the Word of God comes from Isaiah 43:16. God
says, "This is what the Lord says - He who made a way through the sea, a
path through the mighty waters." Verse 18: "Forget the former things; do not
dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you
not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the
wasteland." God is described here as He who made a way. This is a very
exciting view of our Heavenly Father. He's the way-maker when there is no
way. Like when the Jews were on the banks of the Red Sea, every sense said
it was over. No way. Now, young people often pick up phrases and dialogue
from popular movies. One of those that came from a movie a few years ago was
a response when someone says, "No way." You just go, "Way." That's short
for, "No, you're wrong. There is a way."

Right now you might be facing a seemingly impossible situation and
you're shaking your head like the Jews at the Red Sea and you're saying "No
way." Then there's this unexpected whisper from God's heart to yours: "Way."
He's just trying to assure you that He will make a way through mighty waters
that seem overwhelming and unmovable - through the desert, a place where
there seems to be no resources.

If you've committed yourself to Jesus as your personal Savior, you
belong to a way-making God. What does that mean? You can't judge the
outcome by how bad the situation is. Your Father can overrule that. You
can't judge by how impossible it is. It's only impossible by earth standards.
But your God doesn't have impossible in His vocabulary. You can't judge by
how late it is. You say, "Man, there's not enough time for an answer now."
Hey, God could do in an hour what men couldn't pull off in fifty years.

Stand with Job on this conviction. It's in Job 42:2, "I know that
you can do all things, Lord, no plan of yours can be thwarted." One
treacherous snowy night I looked ahead at a road that seemed impossible
until I saw someone going ahead of me who could clear that road.

One fearful day, God's ancient people stood on the banks of the Red
Sea trapped before the attacking armies of Egypt until they saw someone who
could part a sea and bury an army. That very same God, the great Way-Maker,
is out in front of you. Ron Hutchcraft



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===============








A Russian scientist and a Czechoslovakian scientist had spent their
lives studying the grizzly bear. Each year they petitioned their
respective governments to allow them to go to the United States to study
the bears in Yellowstone. Finally their request was granted, and they
immediately flew to NY and on West to Yellowstone. They reported to the
ranger station and were told that it was the grizzly mating season and it was
too dangerous to go out and study the animals. They pleaded that this was
their only chance, and finally the ranger relented. The Russian and the Czech
were given portable phones and told to report in every day. For several days
they called in, and then nothing was heard from the two scientists.

The rangers mounted a search party and found the camp completely
ravaged, with no sign of the missing men. They followed the trail of a
male and a female bear. They found the female and decided they must kill the
animal to find out if she had eaten the scientists because they feared an international
incident. They killed the female animal and opened the stomach to find
the remains of the Russian. One ranger turned to the other and said, "You
know what this means, don't you?"

The other ranger responded, "Of course............
The Czech is in the male."
  .comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
Many people love it when they hear an old song and are instantly taken
back to high school or grade school. It's amazing how songs, TV shows
and movies play such important roles in our lives. As much as critics
denigrate pop culture, it can be a huge force.

If you're a child of the 1960s, '70s or '80s, you'll love today's site.
It has information on all of the songs, TV shows, movies and events
that shaped our lives.

Be warned! It's very easy to spend hours at this site. I found myself
constantly clicking links and screaming, "I remember that!" Of course,
everyone in the building kept running into my office to see if I was
okay. I was--just really excited!

http://www.nostalgiacentral.com/

{Double click on the web address above for additional information:}








===============

Howdy says: "FORWARD TO FRIENDS & YOUR MAMA!"
First Published In Last Century - July 26,1997
Thought For The OPEN Mind - Humor From American Culture

===============







The warden, addressing the three instigators of a failed prison riot,
said,

"I would like to know two things. First: Why did you revolt? And second:
How in tarnation did you get out of your cell?"

One of the three men stepped forward,

"Warden, we rebelled because the food is, to put it simply... awful."

"I see. And... just what did you use to break the bars?" the warden
asked.

Replied the spokesman....


"FrenchToast..."








===============








News Flashes just in for the year 2035:

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in seventh largest
country in the world, California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as
California's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States
crops and livestock

Baby conceived naturally . . . Scientists stumped

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual mariage.
  .comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
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America - Why I Love Her

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Is Jesus God?

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Music That Howdy Enjoys



Military Music

Blueberry Hill

Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring

JOHANN SEBASTIAN BACH)

A Taste Of Honey - clip

(I Left My Heart) In San Francisco - clip

Take The 'A' Train - clip

Hello, Dolly! - clip

Peggy Sue - clip

Theme From Peter Gunn - clip

Song from Moulin Rouge

Malagueña

Ebb Tide

Tara's Theme from Gone with the Wind

Around the World in 80 Days

Breakfast at Tiffany's

Charade

The Way We Were

You Do Something to Me

SWonderful

Adios

A Foggy Day

Amor

Anna

Arrivederci Roma

Theme from Moulin Rouge II

Stardust - Big Band

Bolero

Brazil

Rhapsody in Blue

Sleepy Lagoon

My Foolish Heart

Lisbon Antigua

La Mer

April in Portugal

Because of You

Poor People of Paris

Unchained Melody

Stranger on the Shore

Solace

Maple Leaf Rag

Voices of Spring

Radetzky March

Water Music (Excerpt) George Frideric Handel

Finale - William Tell Overture

Overture - My Fair Lady

The Rain in Spain

The Lonely Bull - Herb Alpert

Tijuana Taxi - Herb Alpert

The Happy Whistler

So Rare

Mona Lisa

Ghost Riders in the Sky

Walk, Don't Run

Wonderland by Night

Canadian Sunset

Blue Tango

The Happy Wanderer

Down Yonder

Midnight in Moscow

Crazy Medley

Tequila

That's for Me

Quiet Village

Harbor Lights

Dueling Banjoes II

Autumn Leaves

My Foolish Heart

Don't Know Much

I WALK THE LINE

EL PASO

TENNESSEE WALTZ

STAND BY YOUR MAN

Close To You

Rainy Days & Mondays

Sing A Song

Yesterday Once More

We've Only Just Begun

Goodbye To Love

Only You

As Time Goes By

As Time Goes By II

As Time Goes By - Original

After Loving

San Francisco

Stranger In Paradise

Mrs. Howdy

Rags To Riches

The Good Life

Hello Dolly

All Of Me

Thank Heaven For Little Girls

Beyond The Sea

Everybody Loves

Return To Me

That's Amore

Autumn Leaves

Love Me With All Your Heart

If I Give My Heart To You

Autumn Leaves II

Autumn Leaves III

See The USA

My Prayer

You Always Hurt

Take Me Out To The Ballgame

Love Me Tender

Its Now Or Never

Old Shep

Dont Be Cruel

When I Fall In Love

When I Fall In Love II

When I Fall In Love III

A Fool Such As I

You'll Never Know

Fascination

I'm Yours

Wish You Were Here

Lady Of Spain

CanadianSunset

It's Magic

Secret Love

This Magic Moment

My Prayer

Twilight Time

Great Pretender

Harbor Lights

Little Darlin'

Wanted

No Other Love

Magic Moments

Till The End Of Time

Dont Let The Stars

Overture - Barber of Seville

Back In The Saddle

You Always Hurt

When I Fall

When A Man

True Love

Sincerely

Sweetheart

In The Mood

A Taste Of Honey

The Lonely Bull

Lollipops And Roses

This Guys In Love With You

What Now My Love

Three Coins In The Fountain

You've Gotta Have Heart

HeartOfMyHeart

Stranger In Paradise II

Love Is...

Unforgettable

Georgia On My Mind

Sentimental Over You

Thanks For The Memories

Too Young

Because

Never On Sunday

Yellow Rose Of Texas

Windy

My Little Corner

Speak Low

Moments To Remember

HernandosHideaway

Be My Love

Embassy Waltz

Misty

A Certain Smile

Chances Are

Not For Me To Say

Stranger On The Shore

I'll Be Seeing You

Cherry Pink

Downtown

Moonlight Serenade

Last Date

Naughty Lady

Til I Kissed You

All I Have To Do Is Dream

Dixie Land Band

Ghost Riders In The Sky

The Happy Wanderer

Lollipops

Santa Catalina

Band Of Gold

Auld Lang Syne

The Wayward Wind

P.S. I Love You

Harbor Lights

Ebb Tide

Lime Light

Green Door

My Heart Cries

Down Yonder

Silvana Mangano Anna

Does Your Chewing Gum?

Grand Night For Singing

Purple People Eater

Orange Blossom Special

I'll Get By

'Til Then

Katie At UNC

Love Letters

As Time Goes By

Cheek To Cheek

Mission Impossible

The Way You Look Tonight

Frenesi

Glad To Be An American

Battle Hymn Of The Republic

How Great Thou Art

Have Thine Own Way

Beyond The Sunset

Amazing Grace

He's Got The Whole World

Peace In The Valley

How Great Thou Art II

Stars & Stripes Forever

Tennessee Waltz

Beverly Hillbillies Theme

El Paso

Happy Trails

Big John

Sixteen Tons

Which Doctor?

Wonderful! Wonderful!

Misty

Gina

Colombo

Daniel Boone

Davy Crockett

Dick VanDyke

Donna Reed

Father Knows Best

Gilligan

Gomer Pile

Gunsmoke

Have Gun

Hawaii Five-O

Hogans Heroes

Do.Not.Forsake.Me

MyPrayer

Hopalong

Howdy

Lucy

Lassie

Law & Order

Lone Ranger

Magnificent 7

Magnum

Man From Uncle

Dobie

Maverick

Mickey

Mission I

Mr. Ed

My 3 Sons

Raw Hide

Real McCoys

Rifle Man

Secret Agent

Simon & Simon

Smothers

Spencer

StarTrek

Super Man

ThatGirl

Tonight

T-Zone

Untouchable

WagonTrain

Walton

WildWest

77

Ozzie

Andy

Beverly

Bonanza

Car.5.4

Victory I

NKC-Perfidia

The Lion Sleeps Tonight

Mr. Sandman

Only The Lonely

Beyond The Sea

Pachelbel

Magnificent 7

Magnificent 7 - II

Rawhide

I Walk The Line




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* * * Four Important Things To KNOW: #1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned & fall short of the glory of God. #2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ (God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of Peace & Savior of the World). #3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone, anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in, relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven). #4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE. No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist, Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives) to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through) ME (no other name). *** This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - - (Rev. 3:20) {Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian - however they are great afterwards!!!} *** Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment), and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness, forever with God), and only a few find it.


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P U R P O S E
But these are written so that you may
believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the
Son of God, and that by believing in
Him you will have life. Jn 20:31

Seek the Lord while He may be found;
call on Him while He is near. Let the
wicked forsake his way and the evil
man his thoughts. Let him turn to the
Lord, and He will have mercy on him,
and to our God, for He will freely
pardon. "For My thoughts are not
your thoughts, neither are your ways
My ways," declares the Lord. "As the
heavens are higher than the earth, so
are My ways higher than your ways
and My thoughts than your thoughts.
As the rain and the snow come down
from heaven, and do not return to it
without watering the earth and making
it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed
for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is My word that goes out from My
mouth: It will not return to Me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire and
achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
You will go out in joy and be led forth
in peace; the mountains and hills will
burst into song before you, and all the
trees of the field will clap their hands.
Instead of the thornbush will grow the
pine tree, and instead of briers the myrtle
will grow. This will be for the Lord's
renown, for an everlasting sign, which
will not be destroyed." Is 55

O Lord, you have searched me and you
know me. You know when I sit and when
I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying
down; you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue you know
it completely, O Lord. You hem me in -
behind and before; you have laid your
hand upon me. Such knowledge is too
wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where
can I flee from your presence? If I go up
to the heavens, you are there; if I make
my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide
me and the light become night around
me," even the darkness will not be dark
to you; the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you. For you
created my inmost being; you knit me
together in my mother's womb. I praise
you because I am fearfully and wonderfully
made; your works are wonderful, I know
that full well. My frame was not hidden
from you when I was made in the secret
place. When I was woven together in the
depths of the earth, your eyes saw my
unformed body. All the days ordained
for me were written in your book before
one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts,
O God! How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them, they would
outnumber the grains of sand. When
I awake, I am still with you. Search me,
O God, and know my heart; test me
and know my anxious thoughts. See
if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Ps 139

But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16


When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.

Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were a present far too small:
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.
- - Isaac Watts


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