Grandmother of eight makes hole in one Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted Quarter of a million Chinese live on water Farmer bill dies in house Iraqi head seeks arms
Grammar often botches other headlines
Eye drops off shelf Squad helps dog bite victim Dealers will hear car talk at noon Enraged cow injures farmer with ax Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests Miners refuse to work after death Two Soviet ships collide--one dies Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter
Once in a while, a botched headline takes on a meaning opposite from the one intended:
Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984 Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better
Sometimes newspaper editors state the obvious
If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while War dims hope for peace Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency Cold wave linked to temperatures Child's death ruins couple's holiday Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years Man is fatally slain Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation
You'll find this hard to believe, but in California and some other states, a parent can answer the telephone and hear these words:
"Your 13-year-old child died earlier today while having an abortion at Planned Parenthood. We need you to come in and identify her body."
Imagine how shocked you would be if, as a parent, you received that call. You wouldn't even be able to sue Planned Parenthood, because in California they are allowed by law to perform hush-hush abortions without notifying parents of minor girls.
That's right - in California, parents currently do not have a right to know if their 13-year-old child goes to have an abortion. Hard to believe, I know.
"I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to man. All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to us through this book." -- President Abraham Lincoln
"For we must consider that we shall be as a City upon a hill. The eyes of all people are upon us. So that if we shall deal falsely with our God in this work we have undertaken, and so cause Him to withdraw his present help from us, we shall be made a story and a byword throughout the world." --John Winthrop, Governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, 1630
"It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and the Bible." - President George Washington
"The Bible is no mere book, but a Living Creature, with a power that conquers all that oppose it." - Napoleon
"That Book accounts for the supremacy of England." - Queen Victoria
"If there is anything in my thought or style to commend , the credit is due my parents for instilling in me an early love of the Scriptures. If we abide by the principals taught in the Bible, our country will go on prospering and to prosper; but if we and our posterity neglect its instructions and authority, no man can tell how sudden a catastrophe may overwhelm us and bury all our glory in profound obscurity." - Daniel Webster (Founding Father)
"The Bible is worth all other books which have ever been printed." - Patrick Henry (original member of the Continental Congress)
"The Bible is the anchor of our liberties." - President U.S. Grant
"It is impossible to enslave mentally or socially a Bible-reading people. The principals of the Bible are the groundwork of human freedom." - Horace Greeley (Editor)
"That Book is the rock on which our Republic rests." - President Andrew Jackson
"In all my perplexities and distresses, the Bible has never failed to give me light and strength." - Gen. Robert E. Lee
"Bible reading is an education in itself." - Lord Tennyson (Poet)
"So great is my veneration for the Bible that the earlier my children begin to read it the more confident will be my hope that they will prove useful citizens of their country and respectable members of society. I have for many years made it a practice to read through the Bible once every year." - President John Quincy Adams
"The existence of the Bible, as a Book for the people, is the greatest benefit which the human race has ever experienced. Every attempt to belittle it is a crime against humanity." - Immanuel Kant (Philosopher)
"The New Testament is the very best Book that ever or ever will be known in the world." - Charles Dickens (Author)
"All human discoveries seem to be made only for the purpose of confirming more and more strongly the truths contained in the Sacred Scriptures." - Sir William Herschel (Astronomer)
"There are more sure marks of authenticity in the Bible than in any profane history." - Sir Isaac Newton (Scientist)
"Let mental culture go on advancing, let the natural sciences progress in even greater extent and depth, and the human mind widen itself as much as it desires; beyond the elevation and moral culture of Christianity, as it shines forth in the Gospels, it will not go." - Goethe (Author)
"I have known ninety-five of the world's great men in my time, and of these eight-seven were followers of the Bible. The Bible is stamped with a Specialty of Origin, and an immeasurable distance separates it from all competitors." - W.E. Gladstone (Prime Minister)
"Whatever merit there is in anything that I have written is simply due to the fact that when I was a chile my mother daily read me a part of the Bible and daily made me learn a part of it by heart." - John Ruskin (art critic and social commentator)
"The Bible has been the Magna Charta of the poor and oppressed. The human race is not in a position to dispense with it." - Thomas Huxley (Author & Scientist)
"The whole hope of human progress is suspended on the ever growing influence of the Bible." - W.H. Seward (Secretary of State)
"America was born a Christian nation. America was born to exemplify that devotion to the elements of righteousness, which are derived from the revelations of Holy Scriptures. Part of the destiny of Americans lies in their daily perusal of this great book of revelations. That if they would see America free and pure they will make their own spirits free and pure by this baptism of the Holy Spirit." --President Woodrow Wilson
For Christians, the life and death of Jesus are the ultimate expressions of love, and the supreme demonstrations of God's mercy, faithfulness, and redemption. Since Christ's miraculous Resurrection on Easter, more than 2,000 years ago, Christians have expressed joy and gratitude for this wondrous sacrifice and for God's promise of freedom for the oppressed, healing for the brokenhearted, and salvation. --President George W. Bush
"It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians; not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ. For this very reason peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum, prosperity, and freedom of worship here." --Patrick Henry (original member of the Continental Congress)
Composite of Julia Roberts, a jet, a Prius and an oil refinery Hybrid cars are all the rage in Hollywood. Celebrities drive them like they're a badge of honor. You save a few gallons of gas, you save the planet. Right? Well, not when you hop on a private jet and burn enough fuel to propel NASCAR through 2050.
Of course, the stars need to go here and there. The location shoots, the fabulous vacations, etc. But that's why God created United Airlines. G-IV's, on the other hand, were created in the image of precious celebs.
Julia Roberts and her Prius
On the ground: Roberts drives a Prius, which gets (at best) 60 miles to the gallon, shaving 30 miles off a normal car's mpg.
In the air: Chicago/LA, 1,749 miles in a private jet, the route she took with Rupert Everett while shooting "My Best Friend's Wedding."
Gas guzzled: 2,100 gallons of jet fuel.
Prius Penance: Julia would have to drive 30,000 miles, or roughly once around the earth and then some to even out her consumption in the air. So Julia says: No word yet from Julia's rep.
On the ground: J-Lo tools around in her 60 miles-per-gallon Prius. In the air: LA /New York, 2,475 miles in a private jet. Lopez was actually sued by a private jet company for allegedly skipping out on the bill, though she says it's all a misunderstanding and she was not supposed to be billed.
Gas guzzled: 2,750 gallons of jet fuel.
Prius penance: She'd have to drive 45,000 miles, and that's a lot longer for Jenny than just going down the block. It's actually more like twice around the earth.
So Jennifer says: There was no comment from Lopez's rep.
George Clooney and his electric car
On the ground: George favors a Tango, an electric car that gets a whopping 135 miles to the charge. In the air: Los Angeles/Tokyo, 5500 miles in a private jet.
Gas guzzled: 7,000 gallons of jet fuel.
Electric shocker: Even with his super-saver Tango, he'll have to drive over 57 oceans -- Pacific Oceans to break even.
So George says: Clooney's rep, publicist Stan Rosenfield, tells TMZ, "You clearly have no understanding of certain people's need for private transport," and points out that Clooney often has "no control" over his travel schedule.
Brad Pitt gets off his private jet
On the ground: Eco-champ Brad is yet another Prius-lover, and he reportedly has several hybrids in his stable.
In the air: Los Angeles/Namibia, 9,400 miles in a private jet.
Gas guzzled: 11,000 gallons of jet fuel.
Prius penance: Brad burned enough fuel to take a Prius to the moon.
So Brad says: Pitt didn't have any comment. His rep tells TMZ that Pitt is out of the country.
Leo fueling his PriusAnd the true-blue Green Award goes to ... Leo DiCaprio.
On the ground: Leo drives a Toyota Prius
In the air: Leo flies just like us folk -- commercial, unless he positively must fly private because of scheduling.