A UNC* prof. asked one of his students, "Can you name our nation's capital?" The reply was, "Washington DC."
When asked what "DC" stood for, the student added, "Dot com!"
*Please see "comments" for explaination...
Comment & Forward>>>
Comments:
*Permission is hereby granted for you to change all humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought & Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another of your choice from the list below:
1) French university students 2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley 3) Any accredited high school or middle school 4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits 5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops 6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring to NCSU, JSU, MSU, USC, UGA, or FSU. 7) It is against international law to transmute any jocoseness found in this newspaper to any school if their mascot is the Wolfpack. If attempts are made, your computer will automatically notify the FBI, CIA, and the KGB and you will be charged with... "performing an illegal operation".
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Take the best medicine of all for what ails you -- laughter:
"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs--jolted by every pebble in the road." ~Henry Ward Beecher "Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects." --Arnold Glasow "Laughter is by definition healthy." --Doris Lessing "If somebody makes me laugh, I'm his slave for life." --Bette Midler "The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter." --Mark Twain "What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul." -- Yiddish Proverb "Laughter is an instant vacation." -- Milton Berle "Laughter is the shortest distance between two people." -- Victor Borge
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. (King Solomon)
NOTICE: The jokes published in this list were either submitted directly to 'Thought & Humor' or are, we believe, in the public domain. If you think that we have published a joke without giving proper credit to its author/owner, please let us know and we will provide appropriate credit in a future mailing.
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The Bible claims to be the Word of the only true God. In addition to historical, archaeological, and scientific proofs, there are numerous internal proofs. No such evidences exist for other "sacred writings." The Bible was written during 1,600 years by 40 prophets, most of whom lived in diverse cultures, at different times in history, yet who never contradict but complement each other. For the Qur'an, Muslims must take the word of Muhammad, just as the Book of Mormon rests solely upon Joseph Smith's word. But every biblical prophet is confirmed by 39 other prophets. - - Dave Hunt
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Four important things to KNOW:
1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned & fall short of the glory of God.
2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ (God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of Peace & Savior of the World).
3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone, anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in, relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven).
4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE. No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist, Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives) to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through) ME (no other name).
This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - - (Rev. 3:20)
{Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian - however they are great afterwards!!!}
Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment), and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness, forever with God), and only a few find it. --Matthew 7:13-14
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The "E-Mail Newspaper" containing 'Thought & Humor' is sent out FREE via e-mail w/o ads. This information was sent to you because you made the request, 'Thought & Humor' is one small attempt to obey "The Great* Com- mission". First published in the last century (July 26, 1997). Soli Deo Gloria... ________ "E-Mail Newspaper (Free4u)" _________ References gleaned for great humor & information: Merry Heart, Thomas S. Elworth, Funny List, MeMail, Daily Dose, Joke of the Day, Kim Komando, Shagmail, MIKEY'S FUNNIES , The Daily Tease, Crosswalk.com, CLEAN LAFFS & Gophercentral.
Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.
'Thought & Humor' respects your privacy and wishes to honor your desires to not receive e-mail from us if that's your choice, and we apologize if any message causes any inconvenience to you or your computer. We have never given any reader's e-mail addresses to a third party & have no plans to do such unless the price is right:o) (Liberals please note - that was humor) The E-Mail Newspaper is sent to you with love.
But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up, that I may show My power in you, and that My Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16
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EMAIL ATTACHMENTS / VIRUSES
Howdy will never send an email with attachments. If you receive an e-mail that appears to be from Howdy but has attachments, it was most likely generated from a computer outside of 'T & H' by a virus.
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'Thought & Humor' has been read in all 50 States, 230 Countries, 7 Continents, many Island Nations, Oxford, Cambridge, every Ivy League School & all major American Universities including UNC!!!
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Board of Advisors for 'Thought & Humor':
Did you know that 'Thought & Humor' has a distinguished Board of Advisors that are designed to be a cross section demographically of our readership as far as age, location, gender, marital status, education & occupation are concerned???
Bill J. - 60's - Fed. Government Employee Bill R. - 50's - FL - Computer Operator for 911 System Bill T. - 50's - MN - College Professor Bob - 80's - FL - Semi - Retired Military Chaplan/Minister - D.D. Brenda - 50's - TX - University Administor, Married Caroline - 20's - FL - Married, Elementary School Teacher - H.B. July 22 Cindy - 40's - NC - 501(c)(3) Administrator - Married Doug - 50's - TN - President of 501(c)(3) Corp, Married Ellen - 20's - NJ - Registered Nurse - Married Emily - 30's - TN - Banker, Married Janet - 40's - MI - Married, Former Missionary to Arab Country Jill - 50's - MN - Restaurant Owner, Married John - 50's - Peru - Pastor, Married Judith - 60's - TX - Retired Teacher Katie - 20's - NC - Teacher, Married to UNC Med Student - H.B. July 28 Lee - 20's - GA - College Student Les - 40's - Australia - Pilot Lisa - 40's - TN - Secretary, Married Marie - 60's - South Africa - Entrepreneur, Politician Mamie - 30's - GA - Elementary Teacher Patricia - 20's - MX - Entrepreneur, Politician Phil - 50's WI - Disabled Rob - 20's - NY - University Administor, Married Ruth - 50's - CA - Real Estate, Involved in Spanish Ministry Sarah - 20's - NC - UNC Student, Married Tom - 40's - Middle East - Missionary Shirl - 60's - CO - Finance Manager - Married to Minister Teresa - 30's - NC - Mother Wanda - 40's - Asia - Married - Communist Country
Advisory meetings are held weekly via the internet and none receive monetary/pecuniary compensation for their extensive/capacious/voluminous expertise.
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Dear Friends,
Goodbye for now with jocundness for both you & your dynasty & an enkindling autumn pulchritude!!!
Your Amigo, Confrere & Sidekick, Howdy (probably spurious)
P.S. "Gravity cannot be held responsible for two people falling in love." -Albert Einstein