*What boots up must come down. *Fax is stranger than fiction. *Don't byte off more than you can view. *The geek shall inherit the earth. *The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. *Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.
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-- Jack Benny -
Died December 26, 1974 Born February 14, 1894
Actor, Producer, Comedian. He is best remembered for his comically inept violin playing, his carefully constructed image as a penny-pincher, and for never being older than 39. His most famous joke was as a man confronted by a robber who demands "Your money or your life!" to which Jack pauses for an extremely long silence, then replies "I'm thinking it over!" Although he continued to appear in a number of movies during the 1930s and 1940s, he made his name known on radio, where he established himself as a comedian, portraying him- self as a wisecracking, penny-pinching, tightwad. From 1950 to 1965, he had his own television show "The Jack Benny Show," which was a hit throughout its run.
Judge: Paul, you are charged with being a penniless bookkeeper who stole a lot of money from your firm. Do you understand the severity of this charge?
Paul: Yes, sir. I could go to prison for twenty years.
Judge: Then why are you representing yourself?
Paul: Because every lawyer I spoke to refused to take my case.
Judge: Which can only mean you are innocent of the crime. Case dismissed.