DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
FULL NAME: What you call your child when you're mad at him.
GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.
STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.
VERBAL: able to whine in words
WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house...
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*Spoken by Jesus: "...whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for Me will find it." --Matthew 16
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September, 1189 Following the death of his father Henry II, Richard the Lionheart was crowned King of England at Westminster Abbey in London. Before his coronation he knew little of England since he had spent most of his life in France. Even while King of England he spent the vast majority of his ten-year reign abroad, devoting himself to the Crusades.
More on King Richard and the Crusades: http://www.intranet.ca/~magicworks/knights/richard.html
{Double click on the web address above for additional information:}
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It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much. --Yogi Berra
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A man walks into a restaurant with his pet alligator under his arm. "Do you serve tax collectors?", he asks the barman. "Of course", says the barman. "Well," replies the man, "I'll have a beer, and my alligator will have a tax collector."