A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, "How was the honeymoon?"
"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."
Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language... things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4 letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home.... Please mama!"
"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?"
"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed they're just too awful! Come get me, please!"
"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset.... Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"
Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, mama...words like DUST, WASH, IRON, COOK...!"
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The sign in a Norwegian lounge reads: "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."
Tacked on the door of a Moscow hotel room: "If this is your first visit to the U.S.S.R., you are welcome to it."
An airline ticket office in Copenhagen reminds you: "We take your bags and send them in all directions."
In a certain African hotel you may choose between: "A room with a view on the sea or the backside of the country."
A sign on a clothing store in Brussels read: "Come inside and have a fit."
A hotel notice in Madrid informs: "If you wish disinfection enacted in your presence, please cry out for the chambermaid."
This notice was posted on a Rumanian hotel elevator: "The lift is being fixed for the next days. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable."
The room service in a Lisbon hotel tells you: "If you wish for breakfast, lift the telephone and ask for room service. This will be enough for you to bring your food up."
Rejoice in the Lord your God, for He has given you the autumn rains in righteousness. He sends you abundant showers, both autumn and spring rains. --Joel 2
Two trucks loaded with a thousand copies of Roget's Thesaurus collided as they left a New York publishing house last Thursday, according to the Associated Press.
Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied..
*The only vertebrates (animals with a spinal cord) that are known to be able to re-grow an entire lost limb as an adult are the newts and salamanders (Class Caudata).
If a newt's leg is removed, cells near the injury convert to an almost embryonic state, losing whatever special qualities they had as skin, muscle, or nerve tissue. These new "baby" cells then begin dividing, and as they divide they re-specialize into new bone, muscle, cartilage, nerves, and so on.
No one knows exactly how the regeneration works, but it seems to have something to do with changes in the blood. When blood begins to clot at an injury, substances are released that cause cells to start dividing to heal the injury. In a newt, the cells return to an embryonic state at the same time. What a fantastic Creator the newt has.
Learn more about newts, salamanders, and other amphibians: http://www.ucmp.berkeley.edu/vertebrates/tetrapods/amphibintro.html
In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on.
This person must be fired.
Something that is lithe bends readily. This adjective describes someone or something that is able to move and bend with ease. Near synonyms include: pliant, limber, supple, and flexible. Example: "Adrian found he was more lithe if he stretched out before and after a game."
Lithe can also describe a person who is light, graceful, and flexible -- like a dancer or gymnast. Near synonyms of this sense include agile, nimble and Algore (when confronted about his daily exaggerations).
Lithe has been in use by the English since before 900. The Middle English lith was a variant on the Old English lithe (flexible, mild).
Learn more about stretching and flexibility so that you too can be lithe: http://xrl.us/rwk4
What's Hidden in the Shadows Radical Islam and U.S. Prisons
September 26, 2006
I don't usually make predictions, but here's one I'll venture: If, God forbid, an attack by home-grown Islamist radicals occurs on American soil, many, if not most, of the perpetrators will have converted to Islam while in prison.
I am hardly going out on a limb here. I said this first in 2001. The spread of an especially virulent form of Islam within American prisons is obvious to those of us who have spent time in these prisons. It's the rest of American society that is in denial. Now, thanks to a new study, ignorance is no longer an option.
The study, titled "Out of the Shadows," concluded that "the U.S. . . . is at risk of facing the sort of homegrown terrorism currently plaguing other countries." The source of that risk, according to researchers from George Washington University and the University of Virginia, is "[America's] large prison population."
"Radicalized prisoners" within this population "are a potential pool of recruits by terrorist groups," the study says. The sources of radicalization are incarcerated Islamic extremists and outside organizations that support them. The report notes that the absence of "monitoring by authoritative Islamic chaplains" permits "materials that advocate violence [to infiltrate] the prison system undetected."
Some of this material is provided by known al-Qaeda affiliates. It "[urges Muslim prisoners] to wage war against non-Muslims who have not submitted to Islamic rule." As a former employee of a radical Islamist group who is now a Christian told a Senate committee, "I know of only a few instances in which prisons rejected the literature we attempted to distribute—and it was never because of the literature's radicalism."
Senator Susan Collins (R-Maine) was correct when she called the situation "an emerging threat to our national security." The obvious question: What do we do about it?
The study recommends the creation of a federal commission to "investigate this issue in depth." It says that an "objective risk assessment" is "urgently needed" so that "officials [can] address this issue now, rather than [managing] a crisis later."
I agree wholeheartedly, but let's get on with this. We already know what the study has concluded. I've been telling "BreakPoint" listeners and readers and Prison Fellowship supporters about this for years. Now we have more than anecdotal evidence. We have a study from two prestigious universities on our side.
Still, I can't help but note an irony here: The largely unimpeded spread of radical Islam through our prisons coincides with increased opposition to the one really successful antidote—that is, the presence of Christianity.
An obvious example is the lawsuit against our prison program in Iowa. Programs like ours are working. We have studies to prove it. And they are the best solution to the alienation and rage that fuels conversions to radical Islam, as well as gangs and other hate groups inside the prisons. Making it harder for organizations like Prison Fellowship to operate within prison walls leaves jihadists and other radical groups as the only game in town.
Unfortunately, opponents like Barry Lynn of the Americans United are blind to this, which puts more than the program at risk—because, as we saw in the case of the shoe bomber, Richard Reid, groups that are now operating in the shadows of our prisons are a real danger to us.
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You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you.
In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level. Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also traveling at the same speed as you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
Answer: Get off the children's merry go round !!!!!
Someone has said that if Christians really understood the full extent of the power we have available through prayer, we might be speechless.
In W.W.II there was an advisor to Churchill who organized a group of people who dropped what they were doing every day at a prescribed hour for one minute to collectively pray for the safety of England, its people and peace.
There is now a group of people organizing the same thing here in America. If you would like to participate: Every evening at 9:00 PM Eastern Time (8:00 PM Central) (7:00 PM Mountain) (6:00 PM Pacific), stop whatever you are doing and spend one minute praying for the safety of the United States, our troops, our leaders, the upcoming election, our citizens, and for a return to a Godly nation, and for your local church body.
If you know anyone else who would like to participate, please pass this along. Our prayers are the most powerful assets we have. Together, we CAN make a difference! Thank You, Lord, and God Bless America
There is a time for everything, a season for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to rebuild. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away....