A sheriff walks into a saloon and shouts for everyone's attention. "Has anyone seen Brown Paper Jake?"
"What's he look like?", asks one shoddy-looking cowboy.
"Well", replies the Sheriff. "He wears a brown paper hat, a brown paper waistcoat, a brown paper shirt, brown paper boots, brown paper pants, and a brown paper jacket."
"So what's he wanted for?", asks the same cowboy.
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Love never gives up:
Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut. Doesn't have a swelled head, Doesn't force itself on others, Isn't always 'me first', Doesn't fly off the handle, Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, Doesn't revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end..."
A large, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for an experienced Lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny little man showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the manager's door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man and told him to leave.
"My name is Morris, I am 72, just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the skinny man.
"Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the manager. "Take your axe and go cut it down."
Old skinny Morris headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the manager's door. ..."So I cut the tree down already," said the Morris.
The lumberjack manager couldn't believe his eyes and said, "Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?"
"In the Sahara Forest," replied old Morris.
"You mean the Sahara Desert," said the lumberjack.
Morris laughed and answered back... "Oh sure, that's what they call it now!"
"I got a wonderful tribute at the airport. They fired 21 shots in the air in my honor. Of course, it would've been nicer if they'd waited for the plane to land." --Bob Hope