The UNC* medical student was shocked when he received a failing grade in radiology. Approaching the professor, he demanded to know the reason for the grade. "You know the self X-ray you took?" asked the professor.
"I do."
"A fine picture," he said, "of your lungs, stomach, and liver."
"If it's a fine picture, then why did you give me an F?"
"I had no choice," said the professor. "You didn't put your heart into it."
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*Permission is hereby granted for you to change all humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought & Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another of your choice from the list below:
1) French university students 2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley 3) Any accredited high school or middle school 4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits 5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops 6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring to NCSU, JSU, MSU, USC, UGA, or FSU.
"It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test."
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles.
As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert.
If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge
your loss or non-loss of intelligence.
Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not.
The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've
made your answer, & no cheating!
OK, relax, clear your mind and begin...
1. What do you put in a toaster?
Answer: "bread."
If you said "toast," give up now and do something else.
Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.
2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water.
If you said "milk," don't Attempt the next question.
Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat!
Content yourself with reading a more
appropriate literature such as Auto World. However,
if you said "water", proceed to question 3.
3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made
from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks
and a black house is made from black bricks,
what is a green house made from?
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass.
If you said "green bricks," why are you still reading these??? If you said "glass," go on to Question 4.
4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet
over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was
politically divided into West Germany and East Germany.)
Anyway, during the flight, TWO engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine
fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack
in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany
and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany,
West Germany, or no man's land"?
Answer: You don't bury survivors!
If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, "You don't bury survivors", proceed to the next question.
5. Without using a calculator -
You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales.
In London, 17 people get on the bus;
In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on.
In Swindon, two people get off and four get on.
In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on.
In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on
In Carmat hen, six people get off and three get on.
You then arrive at Milford Haven.
What was the name of the bus driver?
Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don't you remember your own name?
It was YOU!!
Now pass this along to all your friends and pray they do better than you!
P.S. 95% of people fail almost all these questions!!!