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Blog Newspaper...
...By Dr. Howdy

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There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket;
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man,
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.


Note: The following is from our archives.
Some links & e-mail addresses may no longer work...

Happy Weekend,

A UNC grad met her maiden aunt downtown
for lunch one afternoon and during the meal, the
older woman asked her niece to deposit a paycheck
for her at the bank where the girl worked. On her way
back from work, the girl was accosted by a purse snatcher.

"Help, help," she screamed at a passing cop. "That man
has taken my aunt's pay-he's taken my aunt's pay!"

"OK, lady," said the cop. "Cut out the pig latin and tell
me exactly what happened."



1) Can you decipher this famous saying?

That prudent avis which matutinally
deserts the coziness of its abode will
ensnare a vermiculate creature.

2) What has one leg,
but not two.
Never gets fat,
has 15 teeth,
but doesn't chew.
All green and no blue,
bugs don't like them but I do.
What are they?

3) Without a bridle, or a saddle,
across a thing I ride a-straddle.
And those I ride, by help of me,
though almost blind, are made to see.
What am I?

***Answers are located below***

Last issue's answers:

1) I have eyes but I see nothing. I have ears, but I
hear nothing. I have a mouth, but cannot speak. I
always will look just as I look now. If I am young,
I will stay young. If I am old, I will remain old.
What Am I?

A painting or photograph of someone.

2) I have five letters.
If you take the first and last,
I will still be the same.
Even if you take the middle letter,
I will be the same as before.
Who am I?


3) A Train enters a tunnel at 7 o'clock, another train enters
the exact same tunnel, also at 7 o'clock on the same day.
The tunnel only has one track, and no other means for the
trains to pass, around, over, or under. However both trains
made it to the other end of the tunnel untouched. How could
this be?

One entered at 7AM the other at 7PM.


Hello Howdy,

I did actually take the time to read your entire e-mail,
which I thought was terribly amusing. I admire your
wordplay and eloquence of language.

Saskia (Oxford U.)


The police recently busted a man selling ' secret formula' tablets he
claimed gave eternal youth. When going through their files they
noticed it was the fifth time he was caught for commiting this same
criminal medical fraud.

He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856, 1928 and 1983...........


Read what you have time for below
& save the rest for a rainy/snowy/slow time.


Someone took this picture of Howdy recently:


You might think that the Earth is closest to the Sun when the weather
is warmest, but that's only true south of the equator. Earth's
closest approach to the Sun (perihelion) happens around January 2,
when it's winter in the north.

Earth's orbit is so close to circular that the difference in distance
between the closest and farthest points is very slight. The
atmosphere and oceans hold so much of the Sun's warmth, that the
effect of the distance changes is mostly invisible. What an amazing
Creator our Universe has.

The Sun at perihelion:

The Milankovitch cycle:


Subscribe: ***Howdy's E-Mail Address located below!!!***


Dear Howdy,

Your newspaper is fun and informative, but I will
unfortunately no longer have an active e-mail address
from the end of this week- therefore I must unsubscribe,

E Miller (Cambridge University)


This material is not suitable for those who are deficient in humor
or thought challenged!!! Do not read any further - you have been
warned. Preconceived ideas and biases could be endangered.
A unique blend of the jocular with provocative rumination is just
ahead for your entertainment!?! "UNSUBSCRIBE" information
way below.

(Even French & German students can do it on their PC's built in 1981).


Q: How do you keep a UNC* student busy all day?
A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.

*UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill.
Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including:
B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), A.P.E., B.R.C.
(Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898
for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were
unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher
learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State.



Match the words in the left-hand column with the correct
definition in the right-hand column. The answer key is
listed at the bottom of this newsletter.

1. deride A. Serving or tending to irritate or repel.
2. felicitous B. A rough draft or sketch.
3. peniaphobia C. A hearty eater; a glutton.
4. quiddity D. Combining two in one.
5. biunial E. Fear of poverty.
6. trencherman F. Fidelity; allegiance; faithfulness.
7. abbozzo G. To laugh at with contempt.
8. magirics H. Well suited or expressed; appropriate.
9. rebarbative I. An eccentricity; an odd feature.
10. fealty J. Cooking, a chef.
(answers below)


Due to the fact that America & its Allies are now at war, all military
personel may receive 'Thought & Humor' FREE. Send their e-mail
address for their free subscription to: Howdy's address below...


Address Change

Don't be without 'Thought & Humor' this Spring should
your address (college students, military, rich people, etc.)
change. Subscribe your new address at:

***Howdy's E-Mail Address located below!!!***

It's hard to impress the opposite sex without 'Thought & Humor'
combined with moonlight, candlelight dinners, ocean breezes, and Howdy...


Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger
approaches them and demands their money.

They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin
taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the
other and hands him a bill.

"Here’s that $20 I owe you," he says.


Dear Howdy,

I decided to stop worrying about my teenage son's driving and
take advantage of it. I got one of those bumper stickers that
say "How's my driving?" and put a 900 number on it. At 50
cents a call, I've been making $38 a week.

Walter R.


Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought &
Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
of your choice from the list below:

1) Any French or German school
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoop
6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring
to Duke, NCSU, Luther College, Villanova, M.S.U. or Florida State.


As you read the Scriptures with your family, I hope
you'll have a new appreciation for who the "Word made
flesh" really is: He's the Creator who existed before time.
He's the Logos Who made heaven and earth, and Who
steers the stars in their courses. He is the Truth that is
ultimate reality. He is the 'Babe of Bethlehem & the
'Word' of John 1. If you know of others who would
enjoy receiving BreakPoint in their E-mail box each
day, tell them they can sign up 1-800-457-6125.


A Week's Worth Of GREAT Reading Just For You!!!
Howdy's address below...


"Thought & Humor" is now read in all 50 States,
70 Countries, 7 Continents, many Island Nations,
Oxford, Cambridge, every Ivy League School
& all major American Universities including UNC!!!


*He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever
repeats the matter separates close friends. --Proverbs 17


If you would like to write Howdy (he reads all of them),
send a nice or fussy e-mail to the following:

**** Howdy's address below... ****

Dear Howdy, I love the newsletter! We're moving and want
to change our e-mail address from
to n___@y... We are church planting missionaries in Puerto Cortes,
Honduras. I think that your ministry has an incredible outreach
potential, and appreciate what you are doing for the
Lord. Besides that, I enjoy your UNC jokes.

Bryan (Honduras)


Howdy, If I am not already subscribed to your" E-Mail Newspaper"
please subscribe me and if I see those three hounds after you I will
have them thrown in the pound. You have good stuff.
Thanks, A & E Hewett


Dear Howdy, I have recently changed online services and would like to
continue receiving T & H. I love your jokes and pass them on to others.
Thanks a million!


Dear Howdy, As one from Texas, "Howdy" is used quite often and not
just by Aggies from Texas A & M. And since we are on the subject, the
UNC jokes are the same down here in Texas, but we call them Aggie Jokes.
So, should I be offended too? I think not. Keep up the good work.
See Ya'll Later.



i don't know how u got my address, but im GLAD you did.
i enjoy reading it!!!

i love the riddles...for the first time i opened your e-mail and i liked it
so much that i went back to my email and opened all the other ones
you had sent me that i never opened...i have 2 questions..

how come the old ones were all cororful and with cartoons and stuff?
and how come i cant visit to get the answers
to the old riddles i have recieved from you?

M.R. (George Mason U.)


Dear M.R.,

Thanks for your letter. We had to cut back to
"text-only" until we get a software improvement
in the future. Does anyone know a better way
to send out a million newspapers in html with
a perfect unsubscribe option for those very vocal
1/10 of 1% who wish to unsubscribe. Our budget
by the way is $ 0.00. (We've already tried Yahoo
Groups in the past.)

The HHH knocked us off our website but actually
did us a favor because we couldn't afford the needed
bandwidth on our budget. Thanks HHH...

Your devoted Friend,


You inflict your newsletter upon unwilling recipients to satisfy
your ego. You may tell yourself you're doing God's work, but
you know that a person can only accept God when he or she
chooses to, and cannot be forced to do so any sooner than that.
Salvation comes only from free will. You should know that.


Howdy, Your "Thought & Humor" is an insult to anyone
intelligent and truly God-fearing. SHAME ON YOU for
adding to the misery and ignorance we find ourselves in.
Please don't use my God to justify your hatred.
Victor Santos (U.C. - San Francisco)


Hello Howdy,

I did actually take the time to read your entire e-mail, which I thought was
terribly amusing, until I actually realised you were being serious about
religion which undermined the entire humour of your newsletter in my eyes.

I admire your wordplay and eloquence of language, but do think you might be
overdoing it just that little bit in trying to drive home the Christian
message in a "youthful" sort of way. I think it's quite timeless personally,
and whether you funk it up or not people will either believe, or they won't.
I personally just take my risk and opt for the latter.

S.D. (Oxford University)


Dear Howdy,
How did you come up with such a great idea? Very inspirational!
Do you take contributions to help "the cause"?
Bill T.


Dear Bill,

Thanks for the offer - please give whatever you were going
to give to a good Christian cause & the Lord will bless both
of us...
Your Devoted Friend,


Please note that our policy allows for us to receive
threats on alternate Tuesdays when the Moon is waning only...


"Treasure Island" ... "A Child's Garden of Verses" - those are just some
of the literary classics written by Robert Louis Stevenson. He must have had
a way with words from the time he was a boy. Anne Graham Lotz tells of a
night in his boyhood when his nanny just couldn't get him to bed. Young
Robert just kept staring out the window, oblivious to her talking to him.
Finally, she said, "Robert, what in the world are you looking at out there?"
As she pulled back the curtain, she realized he was watching the lamplighter
making his way down the street, lighting one street lamp after another.
Young Robert Louis Stevenson saw something more. He said, "Look at that man!
He's punching holes in the darkness!"

What an awesome description of the reason God has placed you where
you are! You're not there to shake your head and bemoan how dark it is where
you work or go to school or whatever your environment. You're there to punch
holes in the darkness! So, how are you doing so far?

Just listen to what Jesus said in Matthew 5:14-16, our word for
today from the Word of God. If you belong to Jesus, He's including you in
this. "You are the light of the world." Think of your personal world and the
people in your world. Jesus says you are their light. "A city on a hill
cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp or put it under a bowl.
Instead they put it on its' stand, and it gives light to everyone in the
house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see
your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."

Yeah, we live in a pretty dark world. But it is not a world without
light - unless the Christian in a situation fails to punch holes in the
darkness by living like Jesus would live there, treating people like Jesus
would treat people, and handling situations and temptations as Jesus would
handle them. So many of Jesus' followers don't realize who they are - His
personal representative in their personal world.

You punch another hole in the darkness every time you show up with
joy instead of gloom on your face, with good things to say instead of
griping, every time you stop for someone who's struggling, when you
consciously put someone else ahead of you, when you insist on taking the
high road when it's tempting to cut corners, every time you weep with
someone who's weeping, rejoice with someone who's rejoicing, and reach out
to someone who is being acting very unloveable.

The lost folks around you probably won't be all that impressed with
your dont's or all the religious meetings you go to. They need to see
meaningful differences in you because Christ is in you.

But it isn't enough that they just see that you're different. They
need to know why, or they'll never be able to get out of the darkness
themselves. They need Jesus. And He put you in their life so they could find
out what Jesus did for them on the cross; so they could find out from
someone who's living proof that Jesus is alive and how they, too, can have a
life-changing relationship with Him. Have you told them about your Jesus
yet? Humanly speaking, you may very well be their best chance of heaven.

Every morning, before your Lord, tell Him and tell yourself, "I am
the light of my world." And go out there, showing a harsh and lonely and
self-serving world that there's another way to be. Defy the darkness
wherever you go. Punch holes in the darkness with the brilliant light of
Jesus Christ! Ron Hutchcraft


To find out how you can begin a personal relationship with
Jesus Christ, please visit YOURS FOR LIFE: HOW TO

1-888-NEED HIM.


Here's an intelligence test. Supposedly Bill Gates only got three of
11 questions right.

This site goes beyond instructions on "do-it-yourself" projects. It has
interactive guides that illustrate exactly what you are supposed to do.

The Wiggles have been entertaining kids for over 10 years. Play games,
get concert updates and more! My son loves them!


Depressed, Troubled, Worried???
Big Problems???
Want to talk with a LIVE trained counselor???
Want to get REAL help???
(FREE - English/Spanish)


(Not associated with 'Thought & Humor')


"I would rather have a German division in front of me
than a French one behind me."
--- General George S. Patton

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting
without your accordion."

--- General Norman Schwartzkopf


Please forward this newspaper to your colleagues, friends,
and family, and let them know they can subscribe:
***Howdy's E-Mail Address located below!!!***


We are soooooooo sorry!!! Boohoo Tears!!!
If you are receiving 'Thought & Humor' & don't wish
to be on our weekly mailing. Perhaps it's your fault
because you have sooooooo many friends who want
you to receive 'Thought & Humor'!

Here are some suggestions:

1) Sue Howdy.
2) Complain to your attorney/boss/congressperson/king/Mom.
3) Send this issue to a friend/enenemy/professor.
4) Chew Howdy out next time you see him.
5) Chew Howdy out next time you write him.
6) Employ a "Hired Howdy Hunter".
7) Unsubscribe or use your "delete" button (located upper right
on most key boards).


Ever since people have made movies, they have wanted to include
special effects that fool viewers. In the days before computer
graphics, special effects were often quite creative, as in the
movie "The Wizard Of Oz" where a realistic tornado sweeps
across the plains.

The Kansas twister that swept up Dorothy and her house was actually a
long string of muslin stockings sewed together and stuffed. It was
photographed dangling down into a model scene with miniatures of the
farm and nearby fields.

The stocking was not the only creative tornado effect. In the most
close-up shots of the twister, it was a huge dust-filled burlap bag
that was being beaten to release dark, swirling clouds. There were
also some actual shots of a real tornado when it was seen far away
across the plains.

More about the art of special effects:


First Published In Last Century - July 26,1997
Thought For The OPEN Mind - Humor From American Culture


"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
---Jacques Chirac, President of France

"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
---Rush Limbaugh


"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the
German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee." --- Regis Philbin

An old saying:
Raise your right hand if you like the French....
Raise both hands if you are French.

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the
1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the
face for it." ---John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein?
Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret.
He is French, people." --Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't
help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help
us get the Germans out of France!" ---Jay Leno

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching
into Paris under a German flag." --David Letterman


"Runaway" by Del Shannon,
"Walk Right In" by the Rooftop Singers,
"Everybody's Somebody's" Fool by Connie Francis,
"Running Scared" by Roy Orbison,
"I Really Don't Want to Know" by Tommy Edwards,
"Surrender" by Elvis Presley,
"Save It For Me" by The Four Seasons,
"Live and Let Die" by Wings,
"I'm Leaving It All Up To You" by Donny and Marie Osmond,
"What a Fool Believes" by the Doobie Brothers,
"Don't Worry, Be Happy" by Bobby McFerrin
"Raise Your Hands" by Jon Bon Jovi

"It is the duty of nations, as well as of men, to
own their dependence upon the overruling power of God and
to recognize the sublime truth announced in the Holy Scriptures
and proven by all history, that those nations only are blessed
whose God is the Lord." --Abraham Lincoln

Dear Howdy,

Just in case anyone doesn't know why
we are going into Iraq:

J.R. (GA)



The minimum age for marriage of Italian girls was raised by
law to 12 years in 1892.


The Kentucky Supreme Court has ruled that the prosecution
must throw its files wide open to the defense if the accused
is suffering from amnesia.



The sale of chewing gum is outlawed in Singapore because it
is a means of "tainting an environment free of dirt."



The State of Nevada first legalized gambling in 1931. At
that same time, the Hoover Dam was being built and the
federal government did not want its workers (who earned 50
cents an hour) to be involved with such diversions, so they
built the town of Boulder City to house the dam workers. To
this day, Boulder City is the only city in Nevada where
gambling is illegal. Hoover Dam is 726 feet tall and 660
feet thick at its base. Enough rock was excavated in its
construction to build the Great Wall of China. Contrary to
old wives' tales, no workers were buried in the dam's concrete.


"We grew up founding our dreams on the infinite promise of
American advertising."

Yogi [Lawrence Peter] Berra (1925- ), baseball player.


Did you know a Japanese bowing carries different meanings at
different angles?

- A bow at an angle of five degrees means "Good day" (simple

- A bow at an angle of fifteen degrees is also a common
salutation, a bit more formal it means "Good morning."

- A bow at an angle of thirty degrees is a respectful bow to
indicate appreciation for a kind gesture.

- A bow at a forty-five-degree angle is used to convey deep
respect or an apology.


Which of these birds can fly?

A) Kiwi
B) Ostrich
C) Penguin
D) Puffin

Answer: D) Puffin



The minimum safe distance between a wood-burning stove and
flammable objects is three feet.


There is 1 mile of railroad track in Belgium for every one
and a half square miles of land.



The New York Board of Education barred the whipping of
children in its schools on March 4, 1908.



Japanese rules for the proper use of chopsticks are many.
Improper use includes wandering the chopsticks over several
foods without decision, and is called mayoibashi. The un-
forgivable act of licking the ends of chopsticks is called
neburibashi. Lack of chopstick etiquette is strictly taboo.



King James VI and the Privy Council issued an edict in
1603 banning the use of the surname MacGregor.


"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man
in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife."

ANSWER: Jane Austen (1775 - 1817) [Pride and Prejudice],
British author.



This is a specially formulated diet designed to help women cope
with the stress that builds up during the day.

1 grapefruit
1 slice whole-wheat toast
1 cup skim milk

small portion lean, steamed chicken with a cup of spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 Hershey kiss

the rest of the kisses in the bag
1 tub of Hagen Daas ice cream with choc-chip topping

4 bottles of pop
2 loaves garlic bread
1 family size supreme pizza
3 snickers bars

whole frozen Sarah Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)



If you stop believing what your professor told you
had to be true and if you start thinking for yourself
you may come to some conclusions you hadn't
expected. You may find the Bible makes more
sense than you thought or were told to think.
Allow yourself to be ruined, ruined with regard
to what you always thought could be true. Can
you believe what you don't understand?You
and I believe everyday what we don't understand
unless it comes to the issue to salvation. Dr. Woodrow Kroll


How it all started...

The scene: Alexander Graham Bell's laboratory.

An exciting new discovery is about to take place.
Mr. Bell and his assistant, aman named Watson,
have been hard at work on Bell's new invention
to transmit sound over wires.

As Mr. Watson toiled away in the room with the
receiver, he suddenly hears ...

"Good evening, sir. Are you paying too
much for your long distance service?"


Q: How do UNC student's brain cells die ?
A: Alone.


To those who've asked: We received your address from
a friend of yours, your Mom, or perhaps even a caring
professor. Additionally some received "Thought & Humor"
because they were predestined or due to the ups & downs
of kismet (which do you think is right). Please enjoy...


"I had the toughest time of my life. First, I got angina pectoris
and then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering fromthese,
I got tuberculosis, double pneumonia and phthisis. Then they
gave me hypodermics. Appendicitis was followed by tonsillectomy.
These gaveway to aphasia and hypertrophic cirrhosis. I completely
lost my memory for a while. I know I had diabetes and acute
ingestion, besides gastritis, rheumatism, lumbago and neuritis.
I don't know how I pulled through it.... It was the hardest spelling
test I've ever had."


A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker go into a restaurant in
London. The waiter says, "Excuse me, but if you wanted the
steak you might not get one as there is a shortage." The
Texan said, "What's a shortage?" The Russian said, "What's
a steak?" The New Yorker said, "What's excuse me?"


Is there any way to find out who signed me up for your fabulous,
open-minded newsletter? I would really like to thank them personally!!


Dear Howdy,

I am a Christian, and I think you're all wrong.
I am a proud American, and I think you're all wrong.
I do not want to ever see your newsletter again.

John Webster


Did you hear about the UNC band member who
locked his keys in the car?
He had to break a window to get the drummer out!


Dear Readers,

It may come as a surprise to some that I dearly
love the French, Germans, & Muslims.

I had a delightful trip to France in 2000 and
enjoyed the French sites & culture as well
as the hospitable Parisians. However, I do
have a considerable problem with their
government's love of a "Jr. Hitler"!!!

Makes one wonder if those brave Americans
who died to liberate France a generation ago
would have reconsidered had they only known
the future. Pass me the "Freedom Fries" &
"Freedom Toast".

Also please note that EVERY 'Thought
& Humor" tells of God's love for ALL
Muslims in "Four Important Things To
Know" Section through the world's only
hope for peace: THE PRINCE OF PEACE
(Jesus Christ).

Your Devoted Friend,


Are you looking to tank up and save some money? The federal
Environmental Protection Agency can help. It provides links to
databases with gas prices. The American Automobile Association has
some reports, as does the Department of Energy. Many local reports
come from individuals. The site is:

Alta Vista offers translation services if you get a message in a
foreign tongue. It handles nine languages, in addition to English.
Check it out at:


One of the reasons for the success of the internet is its open,
peer-to-peer nature. All computers on the internet are equal,
and in the past it hasn't mattered whether your computer is
a 386 in Nguru on the end of a satellite phone or a big monster
in a New York rack. If that ever changes, I think we will lose
part of the essential, vital character of the internet. Doug Winter

"How to Be Sure You're a REAL Christian"
1-888-NEED-HIM (24/7 - free call)

Faith and love are apt to be spasmodic in the best of minds.
Men and women live on the brink of mysteries and harmonies
into which they never enter and with their hand on the door
latch they die outside. GK Chesterton


"Do you remember that terribly pushy woman with the attitude
problem who lived in the apartment above us?"

"Yes, what about her?"

"She's marrying a doctor she met when she went in for X-rays."

"Really...I wonder what he saw in her?"


Please forward this newspaper to your colleagues, friends,
and family, and let them know they can subscribe:

****Howdy's address below...***


Translations of hotel terms!

Old world charm ................ No bath
Tropical ....................... Rainy
Majestic setting ............... A long way from town
Options galore ................. Nothing is included in the itinerary
Secluded hideaway .............. Impossible to find or get to
Pre-registered rooms ........... Already occupied
Explore on your own ............ Pay for it yourself
Knowledgeable trip hosts ....... They've flown in an airplane before
No extra fees .................. No extras
Nominal fee .................... Outrageous charge
Standard ....................... Sub-standard
Deluxe ......................... Standard
Superior ....................... One free shower cap
Cozy ............................. Small
All the amenities .............. Two free shower caps
Plush ............................ Top and bottom sheets
Gentle breezes ................. Occasional Gale-force winds
Light and airy ................. No air conditioning
Picturesque .................... Theme park nearby
Concierge ...................... Stand with tourist brochures
Continental breakfast .......... Free muffin


A real man's guide to household tools:
You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.

If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40.
If it moves and it shouldn't, use Duct Tape.


Trust in yourself and you are doomed to disappointment;
trust in money and you may have it taken from you;
but trust in God, and you are never to be confounded in
time or eternity. - D.L. Moody


This is the message you heard from the beginning:
We should love one another. --1 John 3


We do precision guesswork.


"This probably isn't really "SPAM", somebody you
probably know signed you up for this and the newsletter..."

"Broadband Reports" responding to a 'T & H' Critic
11/2/2 Issue



In a stunning reversal of policy, French President Jacques
Chirac announced today that the French government will
be supporting the "War on Terror" after all.

500 soldiers from the elite Battalion du Specialistes
d'Abandonnement (Surrender Specialists) of France's
vaunted Armees de la Terre are preparing for movement
to Iraq, where they will advise the Iraqi Republican Guards
on the protocol of their upcoming surrender to American
armed forces.

"It is important to be overbearingly haughty and insufferable
when surrendering," said Colonel Philippe Marie-Jeane
Yves-Montand Gauloise du Petite Pommes, commanding
officer de le elite Surrender Specialists, who has personally
surrendered in countless battles dating back to Dien Bien
Phu in 1954. "We French are world masters at surrendering,
n'est c'est pas? Not like you arrogant Americans, who
never surrender. Ha! I spit on your American victories!"
President Chirac also announced that his government will be
sending 3,000 advisors from the elite Force du Collaborateurs
Francaise to assist the Iraqis in avidly collaborating with the
Americans, while pretending to be part of a non-existent
resistance movement.

John J. (Charlotte)



In sports, academics or professional life, the answer's yes--provided they
have the right attitude about it.


He never drinks too much except on weekends. Or when he's celebrating.
Or he needs cheering up. Or . . . excuses, excuses.


In the world of "women's studies" classes, conservative women don't count.


Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble
or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or sword?
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him
who loved us. --Romans 8


A seargent is teaching a UNC grad how to use a grenade. The seargent
gives the orders. "Private, stand 40 feet away from me. Pull the pin. Now
throw the grenade and hit the dirt!" "Here, catch," replies the private.
In two years the seargent and the private meet in heaven. "How did you get
here," asks the seargent? "I don't know," replies the private, "last
thing I remember is being surrounded by the enemy. I pulled out a grenade,
pulled the pin. They all ran away, so I just put the grenade back into my


A man walked into the local Chamber of Commerce of
a small town, obviously desperate. Seeing a man at
the counter, the stranger asks, "Is there a criminal
attorney in town?"

To which the man behind the counter immediately
quipped, "Yes, but we can't prove it yet!"


Dear Howdy,

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have
had years and years of training can, using only their hands
and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history
of the world.

Dave B.

Please note: If you see a UNC student or a liberal reading
'Thought & Humor', please explain to them which is thought
& which is humor. They always get it backwards.......

Hanging in the hallway at UNC are the basketball team pictures
from the past 40 years. A player in the center of the front row in each
picture holds a basketball identifying the year -- "62-63," "63-64,"
"64-65," etc.

One day a freshman looking curiously at the photos and said,
"Isn't it strange how the teams always lost by one point?"


This government site offers access to historic documents.
View the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights.


America's war on terrorism has once again raised important questions about
the proper use of military action. President George W. Bush said on
September 20, 2001, "Whether we bring our enemies to justice, or justice to
our enemies, justice will be done." This message and following statements by
President Bush and Secretary of Defense Rumsfield articulated portions of
what has come to be known as just war theory. This 1600-year-old Christian
doctrine attempts to answer two questions: "When is it permissible to wage
war?" and "What are the limitations on the ways we wage war?"

Historically, Christians have adopted one of three positions: (1)
Activism -- it is always right to participate in war, (2) Pacifism -- it is
never right to participate in war, or (3) Selectivism -- it is right to
participate in some wars. The just war theory represents the third position
and was articulated initially by Augustine who developed it as a logical
extension of Romans 13:1-7.

1 Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities. For
there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established
by God.
2 Therefore whoever resists authority has opposed the ordinance of God;
and they who have opposed will receive condemnation upon themselves.
3 For rulers are not a cause of fear for good behavior, but for evil. Do
you want to have no fear of authority? Do what is good and you will have
praise from the same;
4 for it is a minister of God to you for good. But if you do what is evil,
be afraid; for it does not bear the sword for nothing; for it is a minister
of God, an avenger who brings wrath on the one who practices evil.
5 Therefore it is necessary to be in subjection, not only because of
wrath, but also for conscience' sake.
6 For because of this you also pay taxes, for rulers are servants of God,
devoting themselves to this very thing.
7 Render to all what is due them: tax to whom tax is due; custom to whom
custom; fear to whom fear; honor to whom honor.
Augustine argued that not all wars are morally justified. He said, "It makes
a great difference by which causes and under which authorities men undertake
the wars that must be waged."
This seven-point theory provides a framework for evaluating military action.
A just war will include the following conditions: just cause, just
intention, last resort, formal declaration, limited objectives,
proportionate means, and noncombatant immunity. The first five principles
apply as a nation is "on the way to war" (jus ad bellum) while the final two
apply to military forces "in the midst of war" (jus in bello). Let's look at
each of these in more detail.

Seven Points of a Just War

1.. Just cause -- All aggression is condemned in just war theory.
Participation must be prompted by a just cause or defensive cause. No war of
unprovoked aggression can ever be justified.
2.. Just intention -- War must be to secure a just peace for all parties
involved. Revenge or conquest are not legitimate motives.
3.. Last resort -- War must be engaged as a last resort only after
diplomacy and economic pressure have been exhausted.
4.. Formal declaration -- War must be initiated with a formal declaration
by properly constituted authorities.
5.. Limited objectives -- War must be characterized by limited objectives
such a peace. Complete destruction is an improper objective. War must be
waged in such a way that once peace is attainable, hostilities cease.
6.. Proportionate means -- Combatants may not be subjected to greater harm
than is necessary to secure victory. The types of weapons and amount of
force used should be limited to what is needed to repel aggression and
secure a just peace.
7.. Noncombatant immunity -- Military forces must respect individuals and
groups not participating in the conflict. Only governmental forces or agents
are legitimate targets.

Objections to Just War

Two types of objections often surface against the idea of just war theory.
First, there is the moral objection. Pacifists argue that it is never right
to go to war and often cite biblical passages to bolster their argument. For
example, Jesus said believers should "turn the other cheek" (Matt. 5:39). He
also warned that "those who take up the sword shall perish by the sword"
(Matt. 26:52).

However, the context of the statements is key. In the first instance, Jesus
is speaking to individual believers in his Sermon on the Mount, admonishing
believers not to engage in personal retaliation. In the second instance, He
tells Peter to put down his sword because the gospel should not be advanced
by the sword. But at the same time, Jesus actually encouraged his disciples
to buy a sword (Luke 22:36) in order to protect themselves.

Two political objections have been cited in the last few months against the
application of just war theory to our war on terrorism. Critics say that the
idea of a just war applies to only to nations and not to terrorists. Even
so, that would not invalidate American miliary actions in Afghanistan or

But the criticism is incorrect. It turns out that Christian thought about
just war predates the concept of modern nation-states. So the application of
these principles can apply to governments or terrorist organizations.
Moreover, the very first use of American military force in this country was
against Barbary Pirates (who were essentially the terrorists of the 18th

Critics also argue that since terrorism is an international threat, the
concept of just war would require an international declaration of war. This
is not true. The U.S. or any other country does not need to get
international approval to defend itself. Even so, both President George H.
W. Bush and President George W. Bush have brought the issue of Iraq to the
United Nations for a vote. But as the current president made clear, he
sought UN approval, not permission. He would like multilateral approval and
help, but the U.S. is prepared to go it alone if necessary.

Kerby Anderson received his B.S. from Oregon State University,
M.F.S. from Yale University, and M.A. from Georgetown University.


A policeman arrives at the scene of an accident, in which a car
smashed into a Pepsi Cola truck. The cop rushes over to the vehicle
and asks the driver, "Are you seriously hurt?"
"How would I know until my lawyer gets here ?" the driver responds. "


You know you're old if you can remember when bacon,
eggs and sunshine were good for you.


I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound
they make as they go flying by.


The first issue of Popular Mechanics hit the stands. This magazine
brought science and technology into the world of ordinary readers,
who eagerly absorbed the latest new developments. In September,
1903, the magazine went monthly, and today it is still popular, both
on paper and in digital form.

Here's the digital form of Popular Mechanics:


(A letter from the past)

Dear Howdy, is UNC university of north carolina?

Yes - ever heard of it???

Dear Howdy, I know of it's existence but I didn't know they had a

Dear Chris, UNC doesn't have a bad reputation but we are trying to CREATE
one for them in the same manner that much of the liberal press & their 'lap
dogs' in the educational establishment (some teachers & professors)
attempt to trash all that is 'dear & sacred' to our American culture or
heritage. Who would have thought fifty years ago that it would become
wrong in America (according to today's liberals) to support the boy scouts
but O.K. to pull 95% of a full term baby out of his/her mother's womb and
brutally kill the child or that it's great to have pornography on public
library computer screens but wrong to have a Bible/Christian literature on
their shelves?

UNC is a great school & a number of my friends attended that fine
institution. Where 'T & H' differs from the narrow minded bigoted
liberals - whether it be Clinton, Gore, Rather, Jennings, or the Ted's -
is that we satirize in fun not hate. Go Wolfpack...
Happy September,


Dear Howdy,
Your response to Chris email about UNC was enlightening. I never looked at
those hilarious jokes in that manner, I just thought they were for the sake
of well.... humor. I totally agree with your assesment of creating a bad rap
just as the bad rap has been created for Christions. Keep up the good work.
Your friend in Texas.

_______ Computer Corp.
PC Storage Development


After much urging by his wife, Uncle Joe applied for work on
a farm. The foreman decided to give him a try and told him to
milk a cow, equipping him with a stool and a bucket.

An hour later Uncle Joe returned dirty and sweaty, the bucket
in one hand and the broken stool in the other.

"Extracting the milk was easy," he explained. "The worst part
was getting the cow to sit on the stool!"


Dear Howdy, Indeed I am a faithful Tarheel*, having both
MA and Ph.D. from their fine chemistry department.
But that doesn't keep me from getting a great kick out
of the humor propogated by what appears to me to be
a pack of wolves!!**

(HE SAYS ACCIDENTALLY!), it was sent to me by a friend, so
I really didn't "hear about you" at all, and still haven't. All I know is
what has come in the two issues of the Newsletter I have seen.

The best to you.
S. P.

*Another name for UNC.
** UNC's archrival - NCSU.


You Think A Gallon Of Gas Is Expensive?

Makes one think, and puts things in perspective.

Diet Snapple 16 oz $1.29 . . . . . $10.32 per gallon
Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19 . . . . . $9.52 per gallon
Gatorade 20 oz $1.59 . . . . . $10.17 per gallon
Ocean Spray 16 oz $1.25 . . . . . $10.00 per gallon
Brake Fluid 12 oz $3.15 . . . . . $33.60 per gallon
Vick's Nyquil 6 oz $8.35 . . . . . $178.13 per gallon
Pepto Bismol 4 oz $3.85 . . . . . $123.20 per gallon
Whiteout 7 oz $1.39 . . . . . $25.42 per gallon
Scope 1.5 oz $0.99 . . . . . $84.48 per gallon

And this is the REAL KICKER......
Evian water 9 oz for $1.49 . . . . . $21.19 per gallon
$21.19 FOR WATER!....and the buyers don't even know the source.


"Not being on the air, that's not important. But I'd like
to be in the newsroom helping set the agenda."

Retired CBS Anchorman Walter Cronkite

{Dear Walter, Fair news knows no agenda - Howdy}


Q. What makes the Tower of Pisa lean?
A. It never eats.


Prayer Request:

Please pray that God will hinder the work
of the "Hired Howdy Hunters". There's
2 or 3 that are dedicated to stopping
thousands of readers from receiving this
almost 6 year old publication.


Bible - God's Word in different languages...


Goodbye for now & rhapsodic artic/Siberian duration!!!

Your friend, confidant, & cohort,
(probably spurious)
P.S. God bless the USA!!!

DEDICATION: John & Emily


"I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to man.
All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to
us through this book." --Abraham Lincoln

"For we must consider that we shall be as a City upon a hill.
The eyes of all people are upon us. So that if we shall deal
falsely with our God in this work we have undertaken, and
so cause Him to withdraw his present help from us, we
shall be made a story and a byword throughout the world."
--John Winthrop, Governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, 1630

"America was born a Christian nation. America was born
to exemplify that devotion to the elements of righteousness,
which are derived from the revelations of Holy Scriptures.
Part of the destiny of Americans lies in their daily perusal
of this great book of revelations. That if they would see
America free and pure they will make their own spirits
free and pure by this baptism of the Holy Spirit."
--Woodrow Wilson

"It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this
great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians;
not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ. For this
very reason peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum,
prosperity, and freedom of worship here."
--Patrick Henry, original member of the Continental Congress


Q: Why is 'Thought & Humor' so long?
A: All newspapers & magazines are long!

Q: What if I can't read all of it?
A: Delete it. Most folks don't read every word in every newspaper/magazine

Q: Am I required to memorize each article?
A: Nope! Delete what you don't have time for or save for another time.

Q: Is 'T & H' Spam?
A: No, it's made entirely of ham.

Q: Can I forward to friends & family?
A: Please do.

Q: Who is Howdy?
A: We let him think he's the boss...


Four important things to KNOW:

1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist,
Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons,
Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned & fall short of the glory of God.

2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation
from God, & damnation) but the Gift (Free & at No Charge to you) of
God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in
union with) Jesus Christ (God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah,
Prince of Peace & Savior).

3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world (Americans, Muslims,
Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans,
Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French etc.) that He even gave up
His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone, anywhere, anytime -

while still living) believes (trust in, relies on, clings to, depends
completely on) Him shall have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven).

4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE. No one (male/female-
American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian,
European, Baptist, Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) comes
(arrives) to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through) ME
(no other name).

This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - -
(Rev. 3:20)

{Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good things, etc. are
not requirements for becoming a Christian however they are great

Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to
destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment), and many enter
through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to
life (Heaven, eternal happiness, forever with God), and only a few
find it. --Matthew 7:13-14



1. deride G. To laugh at with contempt.
2. felicitous H. Well suited or expressed; appropriate.
3. peniaphobia E. Fear of poverty.
4. quiddity I. An eccentricity; an odd feature.
5. biunial D. Combining two in one.
6. trencherman C. A hearty eater; a glutton.
7. abbozzo B. A rough draft or sketch.
8. magirics J. Cooking, a chef.
9. rebarbative A. Serving or tending to irritate or repel.
10. fealty F. Fidelity; allegiance; faithfulness.


*******Write Howdy!!!*******

Note: The HHH likes to keep you from
writing Howdy by knocking his ISP address
out of action, Sooo... Two can play that game.
To write Howdy, decipher this riddle - easy
enough for any including UNC students:

(Our software is unable to use this address
for unsubscribing - sorry.)

1) Pick a 4 letter possessive pronoun that begins
with the next to the last letter of the alphabet
and ends with the letter pronounced "are".

2) Place a dash.

3) Use the 6 letter word that means the
opposite of "enemy".

4) Pick a number between 3 and 5.

5) Select a letter of the alphabet that sounds
like "you".

5) Next add the symbol that must be in
every e-mail (located above the "2" on your

6) Now select the proper ISP, AOL is
fine for many folks, and Earthlink has its
following but Juno was the first that many

7) Add the .com if you trust those kind
of folks more than those .org's!

8) You now have Howdy's 22 space e-mail
address for communicating or subscribing...


Take the best medicine of all for what ails you -- laughter:
"Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects."
--Arnold Glasow
"Laughter is by definition healthy."
--Doris Lessing
"If somebody makes me laugh, I'm his slave for life."
--Bette Midler
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."
--Mark Twain
"What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul."
-- Yiddish Proverb
"Laughter is an instant vacation."
-- Milton Berle
"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."
-- Victor Borge

NOTICE: The jokes published in this list were either submitted
directly to 'Thought & Humor' or are, we believe, in the public
domain. If you think that we have published a joke without
giving proper credit to its author/owner, please let us know
and we will provide appropriate credit in a future mailing.


The "E-Mail Newspaper" containing 'Thought & Humor' is sent out FREE via
e-mail w/o ads. This information was sent to you because you or a friend may
have requested, if not, accept our apologies and you will be deleted from
our data base after you advise Howdy. 'Thought & Humor' is one small
attempt to obey "The Great Commission". First published in the last century
(July 26, 1997).

Soli Deo Gloria...

________"E-Mail Newspaper (Free4u)" ______

If this is spam to you, then please discard it. But consider it a
compliment from me that I thought you were of a mindset that
would appreciate it. This message is in full compliance with U.S. Federal
requirements for commercial email under bill S.1618 Title lll, Section 301,
Paragraph (a)(2)(C) passed by the 105th U.S. Congress and cannot be
considered SPAM since it includes a remove mechanism.

References gleaned for great humor & information: Merry Heart, Thomas S.
Elworth, Funny List, MeMail, Daily Dose, Joke of the Day, Kim Komando,
Buffalos3, MIKEY'S FUNNIES , The Daily Tease,
Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.

Thought & Humor' respects your privacy and wishes to honor your desires
to not receive e-mail from us if that's your choice, and we apologize
if any message causes any inconvenience to you or your computer. We have
never given any reader's e-mail addresses to a third party & have no plans
to do such unless the price is right:o) (Liberals please note - that was

The E-Mail Newspaper is sent to you with love.

Notice: 'Thought & Humor' uses Norton Antivirus 2002 for our readers'

1) The early bird gets the worm.
3) Eye glasses


Don't reply to spam. Many things can happen if you do.
Probably none of them will be good. So use your head.
Kim Komando


Howdy's "UNSUBSCRIBE" Address

Note: The HHH (for a fee) likes to keep you from
UNSUBSCRIBING from Howdy's award winning
publication by knocking his unsubscribe e-mail address
out of action, Sooo... Two can play that game but
sorry you have to go through this rigmarole!!!

To unsubscribe, decipher this riddle - easy
enough for any including French students:

1) The unsubscribe address consist of 30 spaces.
2) Think of a two letter word that sounds like "sew".
3) Now add a punctuation that is a very low dash.
4) Add a delightful four letter word that is the opposite
of short.
5) Repeat step #3.
6) Now add my name - who is your devoted friend.
7) Simply add the symbol found in every e-mail address.
8) What school does howdy kid often???
9) Now add a dash of salt w/o the salt.
10) Add Bill Clinton's favorite 2-letter word to define & another #9.
11) What is a hilarious word that rhymes with "bunny".
12) Finally add .com, .net, or .org but as for me, personally I never
trust those .net & .com guys.

For the software to be able to handle your request, please
place "UNSUBSCRIBE" in the subject line with your e-mail address.

Please beaware that we will miss you. If this doesn't work, you
might just have another e-mail address that forwards and you
would of course need to unsubscribe also from that address
(often a school address). NOTE: IF YOU DON'T RECEIVE AN


Send this to four people and you
will lose two pounds. Send this
to all the people you know (or
ever knew), and you will lose 10
pounds. If you delete this message,
you will gain 10 pounds immediately.
That's why I had to pass this on --
I didn't want to risk it. Howdy

(Unsubscribe instructions located just above)
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* * * Great Archives Here - - - - "Music That Howdy Enjoys" Below * * * * * * * * * * * * For God loves YOU so very much that He gave His only Son so that if YOU believe in Him you will not perish but will live with Him forever!!!

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* * * Great Archives Here - - - - "Music That Howdy Enjoys" Below * * *

February 2006   March 2006   April 2006   May 2006   June 2006   July 2006   August 2006   September 2006   October 2006   November 2006   December 2006   December 2007  

How Can I Know God???

Tales of Narnia

Answering Islam

The Da Vinci Code

A Short Look At Six World Religions

Bible - God's Word in different languages...

My Heart Christ's Home

Big John's America

Not Garbage

Discovery Institute

See The Word

Bible Study Info

Don't Be Left Behind

For The University Students & Faculty

How to become a Christian

The Berean Call

Great For Kids

Stories For Kids

Promoting Your Own Blog

Looking For God

Bible Knowledge Challenge

The Young Earth Club

Who Is Jesus???

Christian Apologetics

Christian Web Info

Great Christians In History

History of American Christianity

Bible Instructions


Dr. Ben Haden

Bible Search Tools

Kids For Truth

Lincoln - A Christian

Mission To America

One Place For Learning

President Lincoln

Purgatory, Heaven Or Hell?

Intellectual Takeout

Evangelical Viewpoint

Dr. John Vernon McGee

Insight For Living

Turning Point

Outstanding Bible Teacher

Dr. Tony Evans

Listen To The Bible

Is Jesus God?


Great Bible Teaching

America - Why I Love Her

How To Become A Christian

*Watch The Jesus Movie*


Your very own library

Muhammad or Jesus???

Why The U.S.A. Is At War - 1

Why The U.S.A. Is At War - 2

Christian Women

Politics & Religion

Is Jesus God?

Statement Of What Howdy Believes!!!

Bible Crosswords

Los Angeles

Bible Search Tool

Great Bible Teacher

All About Cults

Religion Comparison

The Relationship of the Church to Israel

Just For Guys

Church History

***Watch The Jesus Movie***
{Many Languages}

Howdy's Blog #2

Howdy's Blog #3

Music That Howdy Enjoys

Military Music

Blueberry Hill

Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring


A Taste Of Honey - clip

(I Left My Heart) In San Francisco - clip

Take The 'A' Train - clip

Hello, Dolly! - clip

Peggy Sue - clip

Theme From Peter Gunn - clip

Song from Moulin Rouge


Ebb Tide

Tara's Theme from Gone with the Wind

Around the World in 80 Days

Breakfast at Tiffany's


The Way We Were

You Do Something to Me



A Foggy Day



Arrivederci Roma

Theme from Moulin Rouge II

Stardust - Big Band



Rhapsody in Blue

Sleepy Lagoon

My Foolish Heart

Lisbon Antigua

La Mer

April in Portugal

Because of You

Poor People of Paris

Unchained Melody

Stranger on the Shore


Maple Leaf Rag

Voices of Spring

Radetzky March

Water Music (Excerpt) George Frideric Handel

Finale - William Tell Overture

Overture - My Fair Lady

The Rain in Spain

The Lonely Bull - Herb Alpert

Tijuana Taxi - Herb Alpert

The Happy Whistler

So Rare

Mona Lisa

Ghost Riders in the Sky

Walk, Don't Run

Wonderland by Night

Canadian Sunset

Blue Tango

The Happy Wanderer

Down Yonder

Midnight in Moscow

Crazy Medley


That's for Me

Quiet Village

Harbor Lights

Dueling Banjoes II

Autumn Leaves

My Foolish Heart

Don't Know Much





Close To You

Rainy Days & Mondays

Sing A Song

Yesterday Once More

We've Only Just Begun

Goodbye To Love

Only You

As Time Goes By

As Time Goes By II

As Time Goes By - Original

After Loving

San Francisco

Stranger In Paradise

Mrs. Howdy

Rags To Riches

The Good Life

Hello Dolly

All Of Me

Thank Heaven For Little Girls

Beyond The Sea

Everybody Loves

Return To Me

That's Amore

Autumn Leaves

Love Me With All Your Heart

If I Give My Heart To You

Autumn Leaves II

Autumn Leaves III

See The USA

My Prayer

You Always Hurt

Take Me Out To The Ballgame

Love Me Tender

Its Now Or Never

Old Shep

Dont Be Cruel

When I Fall In Love

When I Fall In Love II

When I Fall In Love III

A Fool Such As I

You'll Never Know


I'm Yours

Wish You Were Here

Lady Of Spain


It's Magic

Secret Love

This Magic Moment

My Prayer

Twilight Time

Great Pretender

Harbor Lights

Little Darlin'


No Other Love

Magic Moments

Till The End Of Time

Dont Let The Stars

Overture - Barber of Seville

Back In The Saddle

You Always Hurt

When I Fall

When A Man

True Love



In The Mood

A Taste Of Honey

The Lonely Bull

Lollipops And Roses

This Guys In Love With You

What Now My Love

Three Coins In The Fountain

You've Gotta Have Heart


Stranger In Paradise II

Love Is...


Georgia On My Mind

Sentimental Over You

Thanks For The Memories

Too Young


Never On Sunday

Yellow Rose Of Texas


My Little Corner

Speak Low

Moments To Remember


Be My Love

Embassy Waltz


A Certain Smile

Chances Are

Not For Me To Say

Stranger On The Shore

I'll Be Seeing You

Cherry Pink


Moonlight Serenade

Last Date

Naughty Lady

Til I Kissed You

All I Have To Do Is Dream

Dixie Land Band

Ghost Riders In The Sky

The Happy Wanderer


Santa Catalina

Band Of Gold

Auld Lang Syne

The Wayward Wind

P.S. I Love You

Harbor Lights

Ebb Tide

Lime Light

Green Door

My Heart Cries

Down Yonder

Silvana Mangano Anna

Does Your Chewing Gum?

Grand Night For Singing

Purple People Eater

Orange Blossom Special

I'll Get By

'Til Then

Katie At UNC

Love Letters

As Time Goes By

Cheek To Cheek

Mission Impossible

The Way You Look Tonight


Glad To Be An American

Battle Hymn Of The Republic

How Great Thou Art

Have Thine Own Way

Beyond The Sunset

Amazing Grace

He's Got The Whole World

Peace In The Valley

How Great Thou Art II

Stars & Stripes Forever

Tennessee Waltz

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Verse of the Day

* * * Four Important Things To KNOW: #1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned & fall short of the glory of God. #2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ (God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of Peace & Savior of the World). #3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone, anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in, relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven). #4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE. No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist, Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives) to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through) ME (no other name). *** This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - - (Rev. 3:20) {Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian - however they are great afterwards!!!} *** Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment), and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness, forever with God), and only a few find it.

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But these are written so that you may
believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the
Son of God, and that by believing in
Him you will have life. Jn 20:31

Seek the Lord while He may be found;
call on Him while He is near. Let the
wicked forsake his way and the evil
man his thoughts. Let him turn to the
Lord, and He will have mercy on him,
and to our God, for He will freely
pardon. "For My thoughts are not
your thoughts, neither are your ways
My ways," declares the Lord. "As the
heavens are higher than the earth, so
are My ways higher than your ways
and My thoughts than your thoughts.
As the rain and the snow come down
from heaven, and do not return to it
without watering the earth and making
it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed
for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is My word that goes out from My
mouth: It will not return to Me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire and
achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
You will go out in joy and be led forth
in peace; the mountains and hills will
burst into song before you, and all the
trees of the field will clap their hands.
Instead of the thornbush will grow the
pine tree, and instead of briers the myrtle
will grow. This will be for the Lord's
renown, for an everlasting sign, which
will not be destroyed." Is 55

O Lord, you have searched me and you
know me. You know when I sit and when
I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying
down; you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue you know
it completely, O Lord. You hem me in -
behind and before; you have laid your
hand upon me. Such knowledge is too
wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where
can I flee from your presence? If I go up
to the heavens, you are there; if I make
my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide
me and the light become night around
me," even the darkness will not be dark
to you; the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you. For you
created my inmost being; you knit me
together in my mother's womb. I praise
you because I am fearfully and wonderfully
made; your works are wonderful, I know
that full well. My frame was not hidden
from you when I was made in the secret
place. When I was woven together in the
depths of the earth, your eyes saw my
unformed body. All the days ordained
for me were written in your book before
one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts,
O God! How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them, they would
outnumber the grains of sand. When
I awake, I am still with you. Search me,
O God, and know my heart; test me
and know my anxious thoughts. See
if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Ps 139

But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.

Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were a present far too small:
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.
- - Isaac Watts

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