- Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo." - Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!" - "Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest. - Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "Monopoly." - You got out of things you didn't like by simply being first to yell, "Not it!"
- It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends. - Being old referred to anyone over 20. - You never had to carry a house key because the doors were never locked. - The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties. - It was unbelievable that dodge ball wasn't an Olympic event.
- Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot. - Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true. - Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare." - Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute ads for action figures. - "Olly-olly-oxen-free" made perfect sense.
- Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was fun. - The worst worry was being picked last for a team. - War was a card game. - Water balloons were the ultimate weapon. - Baseball cards in the spokes of a bike made you "somebody." - Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin. - Ice cream was considered a basic food group.
Comment & Forward>>>
Notice: If you see a UNC student or a liberal reading 'Thought & Humor', please explain to them which is thought & which is humor. They always get it backwards.......
We have all learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of modern life. But you may have wondered: what if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing this:
Thank you for calling The Lord's House. Please select from the following options:
Press 1 for GENERAL REQUESTS Press 2 for THANKSGIVING Press 3 for COMPLAINTS Press 4 for HEALING Press 5 for HELP WITH THE IRS Press 6 for RAIN or NO RAIN Press 7 for MIRACLES Press 8 for LOTTERY WINNING NUMBERS Press 9 for ALL OTHER INQUIRIES OR JUST TO SAY "HI" Press 0 to hear this menu again
What if God used the familiar excuse:
"I'm sorry, all the angels are helping other SINNERS right now. Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us and will be answered in this millennium."
Can you imagine getting these kinds of responses as you call God in prayer:
If you would like to speak to Gabriel, press 11.
For Michael, press 22.
For a directory of the other Archangels, press 33.
If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you are holding, please press 55, then wait for the beep and enter the number of the Psalm you wish to hear.
To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven, press 62. Enter his or her social security number, then press the pound (#) key, enter their date of birth, then press the pound (#) key twice.
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth, where Noah's Ark is, Darwin, Hitler, the Pope, abortion, and UFOs, please wait until you arrive here. Answers can only be understood from a "heavenly perspective."
To reach Lucifer, press 666, and your call will be automatically transferred. PLEASE be careful; your receiver may become warm.
Our computers show that you have already called once today. Please hang up and try tomorrow.
This office is closed for the weekend. Please call again on Monday, after 9:30 A.M., but before 4:30 ACST (Absolute Celestial Standard Time). To order any religious material, enter catalog number, quantity, and a major credit card number plus expiration date.
** Being sent to the drugstore to test vacuum tubes for the TV. ** When Kool-Aid was the only drink for kids, other than milk and sodas. ** When there were two types of sneakers for girls and boys (Keds & PF Flyers), and the only time you wore them at school, was for "gym." ** When it took five minutes for the TV to warm up. ** When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there. ** When nobody owned a purebred dog. ** When you'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny. ** When girls neither dated nor kissed until late high school, if then. ** When your mom wore nylons that came in two pieces. ** When all of your male teachers wore neckties and female teachers had their hair done, everyday. ** When you got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking,.... for free, every time. And, you didn't pay for air. And, you got trading stamps to boot! ** When laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box. ** When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him, or use him to carry groceries, and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it. ** When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents. ** When they threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed ...and did! ** When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home.