During War Games a captain had grown increasingly anxious over rumors of an impending air strike from a neighboring war group. "Private, "he ordered his UNC* grad aide, "I want you to climb that desert mountain and report any signs of enemy military activity."
"Yes Sir, Captain," replied the Private. He trudged up the mountain, and as soon as he crossed the ridge he saw a squadron of planes heading their way. "There are many planes coming, Captain, "he promptly radioed back.
"Friends or enemies?" the Captain demanded urgently.
The UNC grad again lifted his binoculars to the sky. "They're flying very closely together, Captain," he replied. "I think they must be friends."
________ *UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill. Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including: B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), A.P.E., B.S. B.R.C. (Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898 for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State.
A couple of UNC grads in a pickup truck drive into a lumberyard. One of the men walks in the office and says, "We need some four-by-twos." The clerk replies, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?" The man says, "I'll go check," and goes back to the truck. He returns a minute later and says, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours." "All right. How long do you need them?" The customer pauses for a minute and says, "Uh...I'd better go check." After a while, the UNC grad returns to the office and says, "A long time. We're gonna build a house.