My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned couldn't concentrate. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe. After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job. Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting. I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it. Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme. Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard. My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy. I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients. Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in. I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income. Thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining. I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn't up to it. So then I got a job in a gymnasium (work-out-center), but they said I wasn't fit for the job. Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking. After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind. You got any ideas? I'm opened for suggestions .........maybe you have something that WORKS..........because I don't.
1. A person who yells "fore," takes six, and puts down five;
2. A guy who has the advantage over a fisherman - he doesn't have to bring home anything when he brags he had a great day.
Things That Take Years to Learn ---------------------------------- The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.
You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
You should not confuse your career with your life.
A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter/janitor, is not a nice person.
*"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and My thoughts higher than your thoughts. As the rain & snow come down from heaven and do not return to it without watering the earth & making it flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread... --Is. 55
*Calamity is meant to describe a serious misfortune, the kind of loss or grave event that causes people deep distress or misery. Near synonyms include catastrophe and disaster. Example: "The USA was ruined by a series of calamities; Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, & Algore!
This disastrous noun is traced back to the 15th century. It is derived from the Middle English calamytey which was a variant on the Middle French. Both have their roots in the Latin calamitas which is perhaps akin to the Latin clades (destruction).
*He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all -- how will he not also, along with him, give us all things? --Romans 8
*Although most cats can swim if they are forced to, they generally avoid water. But tigers love the water, and are able to swim for several miles.
Throughout most of their range, tigers face extinction. But there is one place where their numbers are increasing: the swampy mangrove forests of the Sunderbans in West Bengal, India. There, the water-loving cats use the braided streams and river channels as highways, expertly navigating through the maze of mangrove thickets. Humans who hunt in the Sunderbans must remain constantly alert for marauding tigers that attack from the water -- the great predators sometimes kill people.
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Here's something a friend who has cancer sent me the other day--I thought it might be good for you to stick in with your other more serious quotes...
"We are leaving the land of the dying and going to the land of the living. As we lay dying we are almost well. All of us will live forever. The question is "Where"... Powerful words which bear a lot of thought."
Keep up the good work, Rachel (Europe)
Dear Howdy, ! Whats up? So are you a guy or girl? And how old are you? And where do ya live? Well aren't I just full of questions!! Anyway yeah I like your emails, they're cute! LOL Well i gotta go now So' email me !
C ya. ~Jennifer~ +++
Dear Howdy, Thanks, Howdy, for sending this to me. I appreciate it and am sharing it with people who I believe will appreciate it, also. Bill