A UNC grad moved to the country and bought a piece of land. He went to the local feed and livestock store and talked to the proprietor about how he was going to take up chicken farming. He then asked to buy 100 chicks.
"That's a lot of chicks," commented the man.
"I mean business," the UNC grad replied.
A week later he was back again. "I need another 100 chicks," he said.
"Boy, you are serious about this chicken farming," the man told him.
"Yeah," he repiled. "If I can iron out a few problems."
"Problems?"
"Yeah, I think I planted that last batch too close together."
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Comments:
Hello Howdy,
I have no idea how I first ended up on your mailing list but I am sure glad you reached me! I would like to continue receiving your messages, so please sign me up on the new(?) list. Keep up the humor and the good work!
Best regards Karina L.,MD,PhD student Dept.of Obstetrics and Gynecology, Lund University Hospital Center for Stem Cell Biology and Cell Therapy, Lund University Sweden
When a UNC* grad finally got married her husband bought her one of those fancy, electric coffee makers. It had all the latest gadgets on it. Salesman Riley carefully explained how everything worked; how to plug it in, set the timer, go back to bed, and upon rising, the coffee is ready." A few weeks later the UNC grad was back in the store and Riley asked her how she liked the coffee maker.
"Wonderful!" she replied, "However, there's one thing I don't understand. Why do I have to go to bed every time I want to make a pot of coffee?"
________ *UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill. Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including: B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), A.P.E., B.R.C. (Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898 for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State.
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A city I visited missed a hurricane that hit nearby, but we did get two days of the wet weather leftovers. We got off easy, but the rain really soaked us. One morning, while it was pouring, I drove by a bank, and I saw something that made me laugh. The sprinklers came on right on schedule. They were doing a beautiful job of watering the lawn, which really didn't need any more water.
I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A Word With You today about "Soaking the Soaked."
Our word for today from the Word of God comes from the book of 2 Kings, which a curious story that's recorded in the seventh chapter. The capital city of Samaria is under siege, and there is a Syrian army that has cut off all food. The city is literally starving to death. There are desperate conditions in the city, as people are even resorting to cannibalism to stay alive. Now, there are four lepers who live outside the city, and they decide since they're already going to die, they might as well surrender to the other army. They hope maybe they'll be taken as prisoners of war and be fed.
When they get there, God has performed a miracle. The camp has been emptied out, and they find food and empty tents left there for them. They stuff themselves all night long, and then there is verse 9. "They said to each other, 'We are not doing right.'" It's about time they figured that out. "'This is a day of good news, and we are keeping it to ourselves. If we wait until daylight, punishment will overtake us. Let's go at once and report this.'" What a scene. These four men are sitting on this pile of food, while multitudes are starving.
This reminds me of those sprinklers on that rainy day when water wasn't really needed. A Christian family from the former Soviet Union said to a team that my daughter was once on, "The problem with American Christians is that you are over feeded." Well, he's right. We are very blessed. We are soaked with blessings that no Christians have ever had before. We have Christian everything. We've got Christian radio, Christian TV, rallies, conferences, trips, concerts, seminars, but it's almost all for us. We are already stuffed, but we line up for another helping of blessing. We're already soaked, but we turn on the sprinklers for more showers of blessing. Something is wrong here.
Let's not forget where our Master's heart is. He said, "I have come to seek and to save not that which was found, but that which is lost." He talks about a harvest where "the harvest is plentiful, but I can't find laborers to go get the harvest." A self-focused church, a self-focused Christian is not the will of God. We follow a Savior who left the safety of heaven, who lived among the lost, and who laid down His life to bring them home to God; to bring us home to God.
He can't be very happy with us when we just keep focusing on going to our Christian meetings, our committee meetings and our conferences, and our concerts. We listen to our Christian speakers and songs; we stay busy with our Christian schedule. Meanwhile, the spiritually destitute people are starving to death all around us just like those people back in the story of the four lepers. This is the day of Good News. We cannot hold our peace. We have to go and report what we have found in Jesus Christ. He saved our life. How can we let them die without the knowledge of the One who could save them?
Like our Master, we need to live our lives for the lost people that He gave His life for. There are plenty of lives even around you that get no spiritual rain. Let's not aim our sprinklers at the already soaked. Let's take them to the places - to the lives - where it never rains.
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