"It is the duty of nations, as well as of men, to own their dependence upon the overruling power of God and to recognize the sublime truth announced in the Holy Scriptures and proven by all history, that those nations only are blessed whose God is the Lord." -- President Abraham Lincoln
A woman goes to the vet. She says, "Doctor, I think there's something wrong with my dog. He hasn't moved all day."
The vet examines the dog and says, "I'm sorry. I'm afraid your dog is dead." "Dead! How can he be dead? He was just fine yesterday. Are you sure he's dead? Isn't there some other test you can run?"
The vet leaves and returns in a moment with a pet carrying case. He opens the case and a large cat emerges. The cat plods over to the dog and sniffs around its head. It then circles the dog, sniffing and poking around. After a minute or two the cat returns to its cage.
"Well," says the vet, "that pretty much proves it. He's dead." "I guess you're right," says the woman, now coming to grips with what happened. "At least you did your best. How much do I owe you?" "$230."
"$230?! For what? All you did was tell me my dog was dead. What did you do that costs $230?" "Well it's $30 for the office visit," says the vet, "and $200 for the cat scan."
A bibliophile is a collector of rare books. A bibliopole is a seller of rare books.
Spanish surrealist Salvador Dali had his wife pose for the face of Christ in his painting "Sacrament of the Last Supper."
John Tyler had more children that any other American president. He had eight sons and seven daughters and was married twice.
A CLASSIC IS BORN
Sunday school teachers Patty and Mildred Hill wrote a song in the 1890s that we still sing today. Happy Birthday to You was a rewrite of their earlier song, Good Morning to All.
A conventional sign of virginity in Tudor England was a high exposed bosom and a sleeve full to the wrists.
"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with."
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910), American writer
You know those one hour eye glass places they have in the malls these days where you can stand in the hallway and watch the people grind the lenses? The other day I was watching one of those guys through the glass when he tripped and fell into his grinder. He made a spectacle of himself.
If you stop believing what your professor told you had to be true and if you start thinking for yourself you may come to some conclusions you hadn't expected. You may find the Bible makes more sense than you thought or were told to think. Allow yourself to be ruined, ruined with regard to what you always thought could be true. Can you believe what you don't understand? You and I believe everyday what we don't understand unless it comes to the issue of salvation. - - - Dr. Woodrow Kroll
No wonder the English language is so very difficult to learn: ------------------------------------
We polish the Polish furniture. He could lead if he would get the lead out. A farm can produce produce. The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse. The soldier decided to desert in the desert. The present is a good time to present the present. At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum. The dove dove into the bushes. I did not object to the object. The insurance for the invalid was invalid. The bandage was wound around the wound. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. They were too close to the door to close it. The buck does funny things when the does are present. They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. The wind was too strong to wind the sail. After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number. I shed a tear when I saw the tear in my clothes. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.
Boston, MA (API)__Sketchy reports just in report that a Far Eastern Splinter Terrorist Organization consisting mainly of Buddhist Nuns broke into World Wide Web Headquarters 43 miles east of here. A large explosive device reportedly has completely destroyed the Internet building located in this otherwise quiet & sleepy rural hamlet. Local emergency personal, speaking on condition of animosity, stated that no one was injured in the violent explosion that leveled the famed structure. However area residents are inundated in "W"'s and it is expected to take the rest of the week for clean up operations. At this time it is unclear what the terrorist group's demands are, however sources spoke of rumors that they may be demanding that 'http' be removed as a prefix for Web addresses with the prefix 'unc' substituted.
Do you know how many members of the TATE family belong to our organization? There is old man DIC TATE who wants to run everything, while uncle RO TATE tries to change everything. Their sister, AGI TATE, stirs up plenty of trouble with help from her husband, IRRI TATE. Whenever new projects are suggested, HESI TATE and his wife, VEGI TATE, want to wait until next year. Brother FACILI TATE is quite helpful in group matters. And a happy member is Ms. FELICI TATE. Cousins COGI TATE and MEDI TATE always think things over and lend a helpful steady hand. And, of course, there is the bad seed in the family, AMPU TATE, who has cut himself off completely from the rest of the organization.
One of our missionaries recently wrote," It is said that Muslims need to hear the story of Jesus about 35 times before they will come to a point of considering Jesus as Lord.
There is a family here that displays this principle. The father has accepted Jesus as Lord and is proactively walking in relationship with him, while his wife is still intently considering Jesus. Let's rewind to about 10 years ago, when an American couple moved in beside them and began studying Arabic. This family became close friends with Daniel* (name changed) and his wife, and early on began praying for and with them. They had long talks about life and God regularly for about two years, and at the end of that time the American family moved out of the country. Daniel tells of other encounters with Christian neighbors who would share food, help with their children and who displayed their love of the Lord in how they dealt with people. Then four years ago, we helped start a children's club which Daniel's children attended faithfully. Through this Daniel's wife met my wife, and they began a heartfelt relationship. Through their relationship I was introduced to Daniel. Four years ago we began meeting together as two families sharing our lives and loving each other. Everytime we met, there were questions asked about Jesus, prayers lifted up for their children and their lives, and precious time shared together. Today we can call Daniel not just our friend but our brother in Christ.
From the surface it might look like Daniel has only recently come to follow Christ, but the reality is that the Lord has used many individuals, words, small interactions, probing questions, patient answers and His Word to bring about this new life in Daniel. And the process is still continuing in Daniel's wife. 35 times - As I look at this number, I consider how many times I've given up after 2 or 3 times. Yet, when I review Daniel's story in its entirety my faith is strengthened. How about yours? Is there someone you know who might need to hear about Jesus 35 times? Think of Daniel's 10 year journey and have your faith built by God's unfailing pursuit of your friend."