A UNC* grad goes to the doctor and tells him she hurts all over. "When I touch my arm, ouch, it hurts. When I touch my leg, ouch, it hurts. When I touch my head, ouch, it hurts. When I touch my chest, ouch, it hurts." The doctor just shakes his head and asks, "You're a UNC grad, aren't you?"
The woman smiles and says, "Why, yes I am. How did you know?" The doctor replies, "Because your finger is broken."
Comment & Forward>>>
*UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill. Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including: B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), A.P.E., B.R.C. (Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898 for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State.
Secrets, Lies, and the Resurrection Demonstrating the Truth of Easter
April 14, 2006
Can you keep a secret?
If you can, you're pretty unusual, because a lot of people can't. Especially if it's the kind of secret that—if exposed—could get them in major trouble.
One recent, and very public, example of this is the Duke Cunningham bribery scandal—which you probably heard about on the news—which helps to prove my point. Last year, when he was caught taking bribes, it didn't take long for former Congressman Cunningham to spill the beans. He turned state's evidence against his co-conspirators, and Time magazine reports that the congressman may have worn a wire to record secret conversations.
It doesn't take much to make us talk, does it?
In that way, the Cunningham scandal reminds us very much of another scandal three decades ago, the infamous Watergate cover-up in which I was very much involved. Surprising though it may seem to some, it took only two weeks from the time that the president was first told the extent of the cover-up to the time when John Dean, his counsel, went to the prosecutors and made a secret deal to testify against the president in exchange for a lighter sentence. Now, mind you, this happened among twelve people, perhaps the most powerful in America, loyal to their leader. In a situation like that, as I saw up close, the desire to save oneself has a way of overriding loyalty or any idealism.
But that little quirk of human nature, believe it or not, gives us one of the strongest proofs we have for the resurrection of Jesus Christ.
Just think about the situation Christ's disciples were in after He left them. Here was a group of peasants, powerless, up against the most powerful empire in the world. Possible prison time was the very least of their worries. They knew that torture and execution could be in their future if they refused to stop preaching the name of Jesus Christ.
But they couldn't stop.
To a man, they kept talking about Christ's life, death, and resurrection to anyone who would listen. None of them would deny or retract their story. Eventually, just as the authorities had threatened, most of them were executed for it. But still, all of them maintained to the very end that Jesus had risen from the dead—that they had seen Him, touched Him, talked with Him.
What would inspire men to suffer and die for a belief? Only one thing—the absolute certainty that their belief was true. Who would die to protect a lie or a hoax, especially if he knew it to be a lie? You'd have to be insane. As we've seen from the examples I gave, most of us won't face prison—no, never mind prison. Most of us won't face public humiliation to defend a lie.
Which leads me inescapably to one conclusion: Jesus' resurrection was not a lie. These apostles would have turned state's evidence in a heartbeat, copped a plea, unless they had seen the risen Christ in the flesh.
This Easter, we ought to take time to remember the words of the apostles before the authorities: "We ought to obey God rather than men. The God of our fathers raised up Jesus whom you murdered by hanging on a tree. . . . And we are His witnesses to these things." Their courage, their steadfastness, proves that their story is the truth. And that makes it a truth worth living—and dying—for.
For printer-friendly version, simply visit www.breakpoint.org
Permission is hereby granted for you to change all humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought & Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another of your choice from the list below:
1) Any French school 2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley 3) Any accredited high school or middle school 4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits 5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops 6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring to Duke, NCSU, JSU, MSU or FSU.
Your humor is mildly entertaining, which is why I have yet to unsubscribe. However, your religious views take away from the entertainment value of the mailing. It is one thing to be religious or a good Christian-- it is quite another to be overbearingly such. The blurb about gecko feet is an excellent example: the moment science falters, you throw science out and immediately posit God (I know you didn't write it, but you appeared to support the conclusion) in its place? That hardly seems fair. Why can't God and Science coexist? Perhaps science is the human means through which we explain the world that God has created for us... but that He has created for us through a set of rules that science endeavors to explain? At any rate, I would like to know who signed me up on this mailing list. I enjoy the riddles and humor, and while I appreciate your willingness to debate your views in a civil fashion I cannot say that I agree with them. -DJ (evansville.edu)