An out-of-towner entered the Ice Cream Palace in Chapel Hill and asked, "What kinds of ice cream do you have?" "Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry," the UNC grad wheezed as she spoke, patted her chest and seemed unable to continue. "Do you have laryngitis?" the out-of-towner asked sympathetically. "Nope," she whispered, "just vanilla, chocolate and strawberry."
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Famous last words>>>
The Bible make it clear that "Man is destined to die" (Hebrews 9:27 NIV).
*Woody Allen once quipped: "I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens."
* Napoleon: "What an abyss between my deep misery and the eternal kingdom of Christ!"
* Robert Ingersoll: "Life is a narrow veil between the cold and barren peaks of two eternities. We strive in vain to look beyond the heights. We cry aloud, and the only answer is the echo of our wailing cry."
* Thomas Hobbes: "If I had the whole world, I would give it to live one day. I shall be glad to find a hole to creep out of the world at. About to take a leap into the dark!"
* Sir Francis Newport: "Oh, eternity, eternity! forever and forever! Oh, the insufferable pangs of hell!"
* Voltaire: "I am abandoned by God and man; I shall go to hell!" (as recorded by his physician, who expressed astonishment over the emotional torment of his patient).
* Isaac Watts: "It is a great mercy that I have no manner of fear or dread of death. I could, if God please, lay my head back and die without terror this afternoon" (which he did!).
* Sir David Brewster: "I will see Jesus: I shall see Him as He is. I have had the light for some many years. Oh, how bright it is! I feel so safe and satisfied!"
* D. L. Moody: "This is glorious! Earth recedes; heaven is opening; God is calling me!"
* John Wesley: "The best of all is, God is with me!"
* May Wilson: "If you do not hear from me [again] it could be because I am with the Lord" (in a letter to Luis Palau).
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Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. --1 Peter 5
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Howdy says: FORWARD TO FRIENDS & YOUR MAMA First Published In Last Century - July 26,1997 Thought For The OPEN Mind - Humor From American Culture
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UNC student went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses. The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye while covering the right eye. This student was so mixed up on which eye was which that the eye doctor in disgust took a paper sack with a hole to see through, covered up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the letters.
As he did so, he noticed the student had tears streaming down her face. "Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional about getting glasses."
"I know," agreed the UNC student, "But I kind of had my heart set on wire frames."
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"It is the duty of nations, as well as of men, to own their dependence upon the overruling power of God and to recognize the sublime truth announced in the Holy Scriptures and proven by all history, that those nations only are blessed whose God is the Lord." --Abraham Lincoln
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"Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company."
"Would you spell that, please?"
"Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you."
"Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor."