~ "I'll be Sewing You" ~ "Red Cells in the Sunset" ~ "It's Spleen a Long, Long Time" ~ "It Had to Be Flu" ~ "On the Bonny Banks of Glaucoma" ~ "Gonna Take a Sentimental Gurney" ~ "The Staphs and Streps Forever" ~ "Old Man's Liver" ~ "I've Grown Accustomed to Her Brace" ~ "The Girl From Emphysema" ~ "MRI Blue?" ~ "My Melancolicky Baby" ~ "From Here to Maternity"
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Ever since I crossed a shamrock with poison ivy, I've had a rash of good luck.
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FOR THE GARDEN OF YOUR DAILY LIVING
_ __ PLANT THREE ROWS OF PEAS: _ __ 1._ Peace of mind _ __ 2._ Peace of heart _ __ 3._ Peace of soul
_ __ PLANT FOUR ROWS OF LETTUCE: _ __ 1._ Lettuce be faithful _ __ 2._ Lettuce be kind _ __ 3._ Lettuce be patient _ __ 4._ Lettuce really love one another
_ __ NO GARDEN WITHOUT TURNIPS: _ __ 1._ Turnip for meetings _ __ 2._ Turnip for service _ __ 3._ Turnip to help one another
_ __ TO CONCLUDE OUR GARDEN WE MUST HAVE THYME: _ __ 1._ Thyme for each other _ __ 2._ Thyme for family _ __ 3._ Thyme for friends
_ __ WATER FREELY WITH PATIENCE AND CULTIVATE WITH LOVE _ __ THERE IS MUCH FRUIT IN YOUR GARDEN BECAUSE YOU _ __ REAP WHAT YOU SOW.
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. (Hebrews 11:1) Jesus Will BeWorth It All
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When the man came home, his wife was crying.
"Your mother insulted me," she sobbed.
"My mother? How could she do that when she is on vacation on the other side of the world?" the man asked.
"I know. But this morning a letter addressed to you arrived. I opened it because I was curious."
"And?"
"At the end of the letter it was written:
PS. Dear Diane, when you have finished reading this letter, don't forget to give it to my son."
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God gives and forgives. Man gets and forgets.
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Dear Howdy, Indeed I am a faithful Tarheel*, having both MA and Ph.D. from their fine chemistry department. But that doesn't keep me from getting a great kick out of the humor propagated by what appears to me to be a pack of wolves!!**
SERIOUSLY, THE HUMOR IS GREAT FUN BUT MY MAIN ATTRACTION WAS TO THE CONSERVATIVE MORAL AND POLITICAL STANCE THAT SEEMED TO CHARACTERIZE THE FIRST ISSUE I SAW. INCIDENTALLY (HE SAYS ACCIDENTALLY!), it was sent to me by a friend, so I really didn't "hear about you" at all, and still haven't. All I know is what has come in the two issues of the Newsletter I have seen.
The best to you. S. P.
*Another name for UNC. ** UNC's archrival - NCSU.
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If you've ever been attacked by ankle-biting fleas upon entering a room that hasn't been used for a while, you know that the bloodsucking insects can wait patiently in carpets and furniture, then spring into action within minutes of the arrival of a large mammal.
They wait inside tiny cocoons formed by the young insects in their last stage of growth before becoming adults. Until then, the flea larvae eat organic debris such as the dead skin cells cast off in great numbers by humans and pets.
Even houses that have been abandoned for up to three years can harbor cocooned fleas. The tiny pests are triggered into immediate hatching by the warmth, movement, and exhaled carbon dioxide of their warm-blooded prey.
The life cycle of fleas: http://www.placervillevet.com/flea_life_cycle.htm
Josh was helping Sally, a UNC student, clean out the trunk of her car. Inside, he noticed a bag labeled "Emergency Repair Kit". Looking at it a little closer, he noticed a stick of dynamite inside. Thinking that was a bit strange, he asked Sally what it was for.
She said, "It's part of my emergency repair kit."
Josh said, "I can see that, but why?"
Sally replied, "In case I have a flat and need to blow up one of my tires..."