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Lie Down With Strippers, Wake Up With Pleas
by Ann Coulter

However the Duke lacrosse rape case turns out, one lesson that absolutely will not be learned is this: You can severely reduce your chances of having a false accusation of rape leveled against you if you don't hire strange women to come to your house and take their clothes off for money.



And if you are a girl in Aruba or New York City, among the best ways to avoid being the victim of a horrible crime is to not get drunk in public or go off in a car with men you just met. While we're on the subject of things every 5-year-old should know, I also recommend against dousing yourself in gasoline and striking a match.

Everyone makes mistakes, especially young people, but the outpouring of support for the victims and their families is obscuring what ought to be a flashing neon warning for potential future victims.

Whenever a gun is used in a crime, there are never-ending news stories about how dangerous guns are. But these girls go out alone, late at night, drunk off their butts, and there's nary a peep about the dangers of drunk women on their own in public. It's their "right."

Yes, of course no one "deserves" to die for a mistake. Or to be raped or falsely accused of rape for a mistake. I have always been unabashedly anti-murder, anti-rape and anti-false accusation -- and I don't care who knows about it!

But these statements would roll off the tongue more easily in a world that so much as tacitly acknowledged that all these messy turns of fate followed behavior that your mother could have told you was tacky.

Not very long ago, all the precursor behavior in these cases would have been recognized as vulgar -- whether or not anyone ended up dead, raped or falsely accused of rape. But in a nation of people in constant terror of being perceived as "judgmental," I'm not sure most people do recognize that anymore.

It shouldn't be necessary to point out that girls shouldn't be bar-hopping alone or taking their clothes off in front of strangers, and that young men shouldn't be hiring strippers. But we live in a world of Bill Clinton, Paris Hilton, Howard Stern, Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman," Democratic fund-raisers at the Playboy Mansion and tax deductions for entertaining clients at strip clubs.

This is an age in which the expression "girls gone wild" is becoming a redundancy. So even as the bodies pile up, I don't think the message about integrity is getting through.

The liberal charge of "hypocrisy" has so permeated the public consciousness that no one is willing to condemn any behavior anymore, no matter how seedy. The unstated rule is: If you've done it, you can't ever criticize it -- a standard that would seem to repudiate the good works of the Rev. Franklin Graham, Malcolm X, Whittaker Chambers and St. Paul, among others.

Every woman who has had an abortion feels compelled to defend abortion for all women; every man who's ever been at a party with strippers thinks he has to defend all men who watch strippers; and every Democrat who voted for Bill Clinton feels the need to defend duplicity, adultery, lying about adultery, sexual harassment, rape, perjury, obstruction of justice, kicking the can of global Islamo-fascism down the road for eight years and so on.

This is crazy. (I can say that because I've never been diagnosed with a psychiatric disorder. Although I did test positive for "Olympic fever" once.)

In no area except morality would a sane person believe he can't criticize something stupid because he's done it. How about: If you've ever forgotten to fill up your car and run out of gas, you must forevermore defend a person's right to ignore the gas gauge. Or if you've ever forgotten to wear a coat in cold weather and caught a cold, henceforth you are obliged to encourage others not to dress appropriately in the winter.

This deep-seated societal fear of being accused of "hypocrisy" applies only to behavior touching on morals.

But we're all rotten sinners, incapable of redemption on our own. The liberal answer to sin is to say: I can never pay this back, so my argument will be I didn't do anything wrong.

The religion of peace's answer is: I've just beheaded an innocent man -- I'm off to meet Allah!

I don't know what the Jewish answer is, but I'm sure it's something other than, "therefore, what I did is no longer bad behavior" -- or the Talmud could be a lot shorter.

The Christian answer is: I can never pay this back, but luckily that Christ fellow has already paid my debt.
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I was in the Express Lane at the store, quietly fuming.Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward, looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So, which six items would you like to buy? Wouldn't it be great if that happened more often?!


****


Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbor and his wife were told there would be a 45 minute wait for a table. "Young man, we're both 90 years old," the husband said. "We may not have 45 minutes."


They were seated immediately.


****


All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly. As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.


****
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should get used to the idea.
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After living what I felt was a "decent" life, my time on earth
came to the end.




The first thing I remember is sitting on a bench in the waiting
room of what I thought to be a court house.




The doors opened and I was instructed to come in and have a seat
by the defense table.




As I looked around I saw the "prosecutor."




He was a villainous looking gent who snarled as he stared at me.




He definitely was the most evil person I have ever seen.




I sat down and looked to my left and there sat My Attorney,
a kind and gentle looking man whose appearance seemed so familiar to
me,I felt I knew Him.




The corner door flew open and there appeared the Judge in full
flowing robes.




He commanded an awesome presence as He moved across the room I
couldn't take my eyes off of Him.




As He took His ! seat behind the bench, He said, "Let us begin."




The prosecutor rose and said,




"My name is Satan and I am here to show you why this man
belongs in hell."




He proceeded to tell of lies that I told, things that I stole,
and In the past when I cheated others. Satan told of other horrible
Perversions that were once in my life and the more he spoke, the
further
down in my seat I sank.




I was so embarrassed that I couldn't look at anyone, even my own
Attorney, as the Devil told of sins that even I had completely
forgotten
about.




As upset as I was at Satan for telling all these things about
me, I was equally upset at My Attorney who sat there silently not
Offering any form of defense at all.




I know I had been guilty of those things, but I had done some
good in my life - couldn't that at least equal out part of the harm
I'd
done?




Satan finished with a fury and said, "This man belongs in hell,
he is guilty of all that I have charged and there is not a person
who
can prove otherwise."




When it was His turn, My Attorney first asked if He might
approach the bench.




The Judge allowed this over the strong objection of Satan,
and beckoned Him to come forward.




As He got up and started walking, I was able to see Him in
His full splendor and majesty.




I realized why He seemed so familiar; this was Jesus
representing me, my Lord and my Savior.




He stopped at the bench and softly said to the Judge, "Hi,
Dad," and then He turned to address the court.




"Satan was correct in saying that this man had sinned,
I won't deny any of these allegations.




And, yes, the wage of sin is death, and this man deserves to be
punished."


Jesus took a deep breath and turned to His Father with
outstretched arms and proclaimed, "However, I died on the cross so
that
this person might have eternal life and he has accepted Me as his
Savior, so he is Mine."




My Lord continued with, "His name is written in the Book of Life,
and no one can snatch him from Me.




Satan still does not understand yet.
This man is not to be given justice, but rather mercy."




As Jesus sat down,




He quietly paused, looked at His Father and said,
"There is nothing else that needs to be done."




"I've done it all."




The Judge lifted His mighty hand and slammed the gavel down.
The following words bellowed from His lips..




"This man is free."




The penalty for him has already been paid in full.




"Case dismissed."




As my Lord led me away, I could hear Satan ranting and raving,
"I won't give up, I will win the next one." I asked Jesus as He gave
me
my instructions where to go next, "Have you ever lost a case?"




Christ lovingly smiled and said,




"Everyone that has come to Me and asked Me to represent them
has received the same verdict as you,




~Paid In Full~




If you do not pass this along to 15 people immediately,
absolutely nothing will happen.




Passing this on to anyone you consider a friend,
(as I have done here), will bless you both.




"Stop telling God how big your storm is.
Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!"
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