Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. --Matthew 7
A man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. After the examination he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Just tell me straight out, in plain English, what is wrong with me."
"In plain English?" the doctor said, shrugging his shoulders, "You're just lazy!"
"Okay..." said the man, rubbing his chin. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."
For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but now I found out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked.
The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work. Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, leaving 19 million to do the work. 2.8 million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 16.2 million to do the work. Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work. At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work. Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me.
And you're sitting at your computer reading jokes.
We work like a horse. We eat like a pig. We like to play chicken. You can get someone's goat. We can be as slippery as a snake. We get dog tired. We can be as quiet as a mouse. We can be as quick as a cat. Some of us are as strong as an ox. People try to buffalo others. Some are as ugly as a toad. We can be as gentle as a lamb. Sometimes we are as happy as a lark. Some of us drink like a fish. We can be as proud as a peacock. A few of us are as hairy as a gorilla. You can get a frog in your throat. We can be a lone wolf. But I'm having a whale of a time!
We learn something new every day! If you buy bread, look at the twist-tie at the end of the loaf.
When you go to buy bread in the grocery store, have you ever wondered which is the freshest? You probably "squeeze" for freshness or softness.
Did you know that bread is delivered fresh to the stores five days a week? These days are Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Each day has a different color twist-tie on the bread. They are: