Questions posed by UNC* grads to the National Park Service...
*Everglades National Park:* Are the alligators real? Where are all the rides? What time does the two o'clock bus leave?
*Mesa Verde National Park:* Did people build this, or did Indians? Why did they build the ruins so close to the road? Do you know of any undiscovered ruins? Why did the Indians decide to live in Colorado?
*Carlsbad Caverns National Park:* How much of the cave is underground? So what's in the unexplored part of the cave? How many Ping-Pong balls would it take to fill this up?
*Yosemite National Park:* Where are the cages for the animals? What time of year do you turn on Yosemite Falls? What happened to the other half of Half Dome?
*Denali National Park:* What time do you feed the bears? Can you show me where yeti lives? How often do you mow the tundra? How much does Mount McKinley weigh?
*Yellowstone National Park:* Does Old Faithful erupt at night? When does the guy who turns it on get to sleep? We had no trouble finding the park entrances, but where are the exits?
________ *UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill. Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including: B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), A.P.E., B.S. B.R.C. (Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898 for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State. Above questions are genuine but Howdy added the part about UNC- can anyone guess why??? Send Howdy your answer.
It was a hot and humid August afternoon, when I decided to visit my girl friend, Susie who was a recent UNC grad. Beautiful and resourceful, Susie had decided to repaint her kitchen herself instead of hiring a professional. I thought she might appreciate a break and brought over some iced tea and some sandwiches.
When I arrived, I found Susie working hard, painting the kitchen walls. To my utter amazement, instead of wearing old clothes, she was wearing her fur coat and her ski parka. I asked her why she was dressed that way on such a hot day. She brought me the paint bucket and told me to read the instructions. I did. There was the explanation for me in black and white. It said..."For best results, put on two coats."
"Thought & Humor" is now read in all 50 States, 48 Countries, 6 Continents, many Island Nations, Oxford, Cambridge, every Ivy League School & all major American Universities including UNC!!! Does anybody know someone in the 7th Continent so that we can make it 7???
Permission is hereby granted for you to change all humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought & Humor" and its subsidiaries related to the institution of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another of your choice from the list below:
1) UT 2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley 3) Any accredited high school or middle school 4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits 5) Environmental Whackos 6) Moderates & Liberals (Lo, they are one & the same) 7) All paying ACLU members & officers 8) Members of NOW whose weight exceeds 190 lbs. 9) Any and all persnickety individuals 10) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring to Duke, NCSU, Wake Forest, Villanova, Miss. State or Villanova.
A musician is hot and tired after the gig, so he pulls into the 7-11 to get a cold drink. While he's buying his slurpee, he suddenly realizes that he spaced out -- the accordion is in the back seat, in full view!
He rushes out of the store... but it's too late. Someone has already broken the car window.......
If you encountered someone who made his own granola, bought his veggies at a food co-op, wore Birkenstock sandals, and wanted to save the environment, if you're like me, you'd probably think, well, there goes a lefty, or a liberal, or maybe an aging hippie. But the author of a new book says someone like that is just as likely to be a conservative Republican. In his book, Crunchy Cons, journalist Rod Dreher writes about a group of people he calls "crunchy conservatives," a group that includes, among others, "hip homeschooling mamas," "Birkenstocked Burkeans," "gun-loving organic" farmers, and "right-wing nature lovers."
What Dreher, a Dallas Morning News columnist, means by "crunchy conservative" is someone who rejects the "consumerist and individualistic mainstream of American life." This rejection distinguishes their worldview from that of mainstream liberalism or conservatism, which, in Dreher's estimation, are both "essentially materialist ideologies."
The result of this materialism is "a society dedicated to the multiplication of wants and the intensification of desire, not the improvement of character." What sets Dreher's "crunchy cons" apart is the extent to which they have recognized the corrosive effects of a culture that is both materialistic and pornographic, and they are prepared to do something about it.
They all start at the most basic level: marriage and family. Of course, the liberal and the conservative mainstream both affirm the centrality of the family. After all, apart from some radicals, everybody is for the family, right?
Well, not like the "crunchy cons" are. People like Caleb Stegall, a Kansas lawyer who is profiled in the book, don't just talk a good game when it comes to family¾ their lives testify to its importance. They walk away from prestigious jobs and sacrifice a second income in order to make the time to raise families correctly.
This emphasis on family and instilling character is why many crunchy cons homeschool. As a Manhattan mother of five told Dreher, homeschooling shows her kids that their well-being is what's most important. Instead of working to give them more "stuff," she gave them more time instead.
This de-emphasizing of "stuff" is another hallmark of Dreher's Crunchy Cons. It's not because they reject capitalism or seek to appear "holier-than-thou." It's because they understand the importance of postponing gratification in building character. They know that people accustomed to satisfying every material want are not likely to exercise restraint in any area of their lives.
This emphasis on restraint cuts across the grain of a culture where people are taught to regard anything that stands between them and their desires as a kind of "tyranny." So it comes as no surprise that most of Dreher's "crunchy cons" are Christians.
That's because Christians understand¾or should, at least¾how pervasive what writer Dan Knauss calls the "porno-culture" is. This pervasiveness is why protecting our kids requires diligence and commitment. Dreher's "crunchy" conservatives—mostly "crunchy" Christians—are reminders of what the apostle Peter meant when he called followers of Christ a "peculiar people." And it's why these "hip homeschooling mamas" and "right-wing nature lovers" are worthy of our respect, no matter what they wear on their feet or how much granola they eat.
On October 12, 1492, Christopher Columbus landed on San Salvador in the Bahamas, sure that he had reached the East Indies. King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella of Spain sponsored his trip west to search for a faster trade route to the Orient. Up until the end of his life (1506), Columbus believed that he had found that route. The anniversary of his landing was formally celebrated for the first time by the Society of St. Tammany, also known as the Columbian Order, in New York City on October 12, 1792.
Columbus Day is celebrated on the second Monday in October (since 1971) and it is a tribute to the revelation of a New World. Columbus himself, a native of Genoa, Italy, is a hero of Italian-Americans. On the 400th anniversary of his land- ing, a presidential proclamation made it a national holiday. The landing of Columbus also came to be commemorated as a holiday in Italy, and in most of the Spanish-speaking countries of the Americas it is celebrated with fiestas as Día de la Raza (Day of the Race) - because many of the Spanish settlers who followed Columbus married native peoples and created a new "race."
America is named for navigator Amerigo Vespucci who followed after Columbus and extended his discoveries. Vespucci (1451- 1512) was an Italian explorer who navigated the coast of South America in 1501.
The word discover goes back to Latin dis- and cooperire, meaning "to remove the covering; completely uncover." By 1553, it was used to mean "seeing or gaining knowledge of something previously unknown" and "finding out; bringing to light."
Navigation first described the action of traveling on water and is traceable to Latin navigare, "to sail." Navigate originally meant "to go from one place to another in a ship" from navis, "ship" and igare/agere, "drive, lead."
Voyage first described a "journey by sea or land," from Latin viaticum, "provisions for a journey." The phrase boon voyage ("prosperous journey") was altered to bon voyage late in the 17th century.