After much urging by his wife, a UNC grad applied for work on a farm. The foreman decided to give him a try and told him to milk a cow, equipping him with a stool and a bucket.
An hour later, the grad returned dirty and sweaty, the bucket in one hand and the broken stool in the other. "Extracting the milk was easy," he explained. "The worst part was getting the cow to sit on the stool!"
Comment & Forward>>>
Comments:
Baby name ideas, based on your occupation!
PROFESSION.................................NAME
Lawyer's daughter.............................Sue Thief's son........................................Rob Lawyer's son.....................................Will Doctor 's son.....................................Bill Meteorologist's daughter....................Haley Steam shovel operator's son..............Doug Hair stylist's son...............................Bob Homeopathic doctor's son.................Herb Justice of the peace's daughter..........Mary Sound stage technician's son............Mike Hot-dog vendor's son........................Frank Gambler's daughter..........................Bette Exercise guru's son.........................Jim Cattle thief's son.............................Russell Painter's son..................................Art Iron worker's son............................Rusty TV show star's daughter.................Emmy Movie star's son.............................Oscar Barber's son...................................Harry Housewife's son .............................Dusty Minister's daughter ........................Faith Day-trader's daughter .....................Hope Televangelist's daughter ..................Charity IRS agent's daughter ......................Mony Geneticist's son ............................Gene Espresso vendor's son ...................Joe Undertaker's son ............................Barry Beautician's son .............................Curly Gardener's son ..............................Moe Florist's daughter ...........................Rose Baker's daughter ...........................Cookie Manicurist's son ............................Hans Athlete's son ................................Victor Lumberjack's son .........................Glenn Plumber's son ..............................John Accountant's daughter ...................Ira Musician's daughter ......................Melody Jeweler's daughter ........................Opal Gastrointerologist's daughter .........Fanny Politician's daughter .....................Patsy Butcher's daughter.............................Patty Bartender's daughter..........................Brandy Moving company exec's daughter.......Cari Counterfeiter's son.............................Bill Museum curator's son........................Art Book printer's daughter.......................Paige Trout fisher's daughter........................Brook Kindergarten teacher's son.................Skip Publisher's daughter..........................Mag Woodworker's daughter......................Peg Tennis player's son............................Ace Clothing manufacturer's daughter.........Polly Esther Teacher's son....................................Mark Landscaper's son...............................Phil Singer's twin daughters......................Harmony & Melody Highway patrolman's son....................Chase
Indeed I am a faithful Tarheel*, having both MA and Ph.D. from their fine chemistry department. But that doesn't keep me from getting a great kick out of the humor propogated by what appears to me to be a pack of wolves!!**
SERIOUSLY, THE HUMOR IS GREAT FUN BUT MY MAIN ATTRACTION WAS TO THE CONSERVATIVE MORAL AND POLITICAL STANCE THAT SEEMED TO CHARACTERIZE THE FIRST ISSUE I SAW. INCIDENTALLY (HE SAYS ACCIDENTALLY!), it was sent to me by a friend, so I really didn't "hear about you" at all, and still haven't. All I know is what has come in the two issues of the Newsletter I have seen. The best to you.
Motherhood ~ If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!
The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side.
The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere and to let the air out of the tires.
The right temperature in a home is maintained by warm hearts, not by hot heads.
The joy of motherhood: the time when all the children are finally in bed.
Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm.
Oh to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was when he was small, and half as stupid as my teenager now thinks I am.
==================
The Failure of "Isms" : Why Speech Codes Exist
A syllabus for a course at the University of Maine contains the following warning: "Any language that may be deemed sexist, racist or homophobic, or may be found offensive by any minority group, is prohibited. Use of such language can result in immediate failure of that paper and possible future action."
It's an example of political correctness, and what makes it especially ironic is that the course in question isn't "Contemporary Feminism" or "Queer Theory 101." Instead, it's a class called "Speech Communication."
Speech codes, it seems, are everywhere. But they don't represent the triumph of liberalism, as you might think. Instead, they represent its surrender.
Harvey Silvergate is the author of the "Shadow University," a book about the restrictions on the liberties of college students. Silvergate says ninety percent of the nation's colleges have adopted speech codes.
The ostensible aim of these codes is to preserve the peace. But, as Silvergate points out, these codes are really little more than attempts at "mind control," designed to preserve a secular orthodoxy on campus.
Silvergate cites the example of a religion professor who quoted biblical passages that describe the role of women and sinfulness of homosexuality. He was brought up on charges of hostility to woman and gays.
Now, the ability to punish politically incorrect speech might seem like a victory for secular liberalism. But, as philosopher Russell Hittinger pointed out at Prison Fellowship's recent Wilberforce Conference on worldview in Colorado Springs, these codes are actually an admission of weakness.
As Hittinger explained, "Once upon a time people really did believe that the modern ["isms"] would provide an order of truth to replace the older worldview of [Christianity.]" It was the belief that "isms" such as Marxism and Darwinism were true that made them so powerful.
But on the eve of the millennium, this faith in secular ideologies is in tatters. It's difficult to find anyone who will argue that any secular ideology describes reality and provides a sure foundation for organizing our lives.
What happened? In a word, postmodernism--the belief that there are no universal truths or norms. As Hittinger points out, secular liberalism not only doesn't make claims about absolutes, it denies, as an article of faith, that absolutes exist--including liberal absolutes. In an ironic twist, liberalism, which tried to reduce religion to a private matter, has itself been reduced to a private matter.
This leaves liberals ill-equipped to engage Christians in debates about the fitness of their belief system. Does that mean they're willing to concede the argument to Christians? Not at all. As Hittinger put it, "my fellow faculty is scared down to their socks of Christianity."
This fear produces the speech codes we see on campuses across the country. Knowing that they can't beat the Judeo-Christian tradition in a fair fight, they seek to repress it instead.
Christians are and should be concerned about the imposition of speech codes and other forms of censorship. But that's because we welcome the very debate our opponents fear. We know that it's not our belief system that's been tried and found wanting, but theirs.
And to those who find that assertion offensive, I can only ask, "what are you afraid of?" Chuck Colson
==================
Trust in yourself and you are doomed to disappointment; trust in money and you may have it taken from you; but trust in God, and you are never to be confounded in time or eternity. - D.L. Moody
==================
Who is Jesus? (http://www.ccci.org/whoisjesus/interactive-journey/)
===============
4 years old: My Mommy can do anything! 8 years old: My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot! 12 years old: My Mother doesn't really know quite everything. 14 years old: Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either. 16 years old: Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned. 18 years old: That old woman? She's way out of date! 25 years old: Well, she might know a little bit about it. 35 years old: Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion. 45 years old: Wonder what Mom would have thought about it? 65 years old: Wish I could talk it over with Mom.
A freezer for Eskimos. AC adapter for solar calculators. Air-Bag Motorcycle jacket. Battery powered battery charger. Battery-operated nuclear power plants. Blinker Fluid. Braille Drivers' Manual Cat flap for the fridge