Q: What's a hamburger's most familiar song? A: Home on the Range.
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-[Our Armed Forces] are visible evidence of our determination to meet any threat to the peace with measured strength and high resolve. They are also evidence of a harsh but inescapable truth--that the survival of freedom requires great cost and commitment, and great personal sacrifice." --John F. Kennedy
A college student was in a philosophy class which had a discussion about God's existence. The professor presented the following logic:
"Has anyone in this class heard God?"
Nobody spoke.
"Has anyone in this class touched God?"
Again, nobody spoke.
"Has anyone in this class seen God?"
When nobody spoke for the third time, he simply stated, "Then there is no God."
One student thought for a second, and then asked for permission to reply. Curious to hear this bold student's response, the professor granted it, and the student stood up and asked the following questions of his classmates:
"Has anyone in this class heard our professor's brain?"
Silence.
"Has anyone in this class touched our professor's brain?"
Silence.
"Has anyone in this class seen our professor's brain?"
When nobody in the class dared to speak, the student concluded, "Then, according to our professor's logic, it must be true that our professor has no brain!"
Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek with all your heart." --The Bible, Jeremiah 29
Trust in yourself and you are doomed to disappointment; trust in money and you may have it taken from you; but trust in God, and you are never to be confounded in time or eternity. - D.L. Moody
Faith and love are apt to be spasmodic in the best of minds. Men and women live on the brink of mysteries and harmonies into which they never enter and with their hand on the doorlatch they die outside. GK Chesterton
A UNC senior took his new girlfriend to a football game. The young couple found seats in the crowded stadium and were watching the action. A substitute was put into the game, and as he was running onto the field to take his position, the boy said to his girlfriend, "Take a good look at that fellow. I expect him to be our best man next year."
His girlfriend snuggled closer and said to the surprised young man, "That's the strangest way I ever heard of for a fellow to propose to a girl. Regardless of how you said it, I accept!"
Mass mailings, even from people you know, are often hoaxes. Ignore them, or better yet, take the time to check them. A good source for information on hoaxes is: http://hoaxbusters.ciac.org/HBSearch.html
Medical Warning : '. _ .' The American Medical Association announced today a -= (~) =- sharp increase in U.S. deaths related to sclerosis .' # '. of the brain. Doctors attributed the increase to the alarming spread of excessive thinking among /""""" U.S. citizens who vote Republican. Playing | (')') no favorites among gender, social, racial, or eco- C _) nomic groups, Heavy Thinking, as it was referred to \ _| by the AMA, represents the greatest threat to soci- \__/ ety since Gutenberg's invention of the printing /` \`\ press. With little information to go on, medical authorities have no idea what initiated the phenom- enal spread of Heavy Thinking. One bit of information they do have, outside 'Thought & Humor' readers, Heavy Thinking is virtually nonexistent- leading experts to believe that being a UNC student offers some inherent protection against this dreaded syndrome.